Acorns Disappear Across the Country

Hugh Pickens writes "Botanist Rod Simmons thought he was going crazy when couldn't find any acorns near his home in Arlington County, Virginia. 'I'm used to seeing so many acorns around and out in the field, it's something I just didn't believe,' said Simmons. Then calls started coming in about crazy squirrels. Starving, skinny squirrels eating garbage, inhaling bird feed, greedily demolishing pumpkins. Squirrels boldly scampering into the road. And a lot more calls about squirrel roadkill. Simmons and Naturalist Greg Zell began to do some research and found Internet discussion groups, including one on Topix called 'No acorns this year,' reporting the same thing from as far away as the Midwest up through New England and Nova Scotia. 'We live in Glenwood Landing, N.Y., and don't have any acorns this year. Really weird,' wrote one. 'None in Kansas either! Curiouser and curiouser.' The absence of acorns could have something to do with the weather and Simmons has a theory about the wet and dry cycles. But many skeptics say oaks in other regions are producing plenty of acorns, and the acorn bust is nothing more than the extreme of a natural boom-and-bust cycle. But the bottom line is that no one really knows. 'It's sort of a mystery,' Zell said."

Re:Let me guess...

[wisty]

Or maybe the squirrels had banked them in citi?

The sky is falling!

[PinkyDead]

This really puts a causality twist on that old chestnut.

Weighty

[symes]

I bet they'll find a couple of really greedy overweight squirrels up in them woods.

you can have mine...

[Lumpy]

I had what felt like a metric ton in my yard this year.

All over my state we have the typical ton of acorns.. Some are freaking huge compared to previous years.

Heh heh

[Anonymous Coward]

I see now that you have noticed the first signs of my little plot.

You may notice in time that they will not be the last. /capeswirl

Re:In other news...

[Anonymous Coward]

...and Obama seen giving marching orders to kommunity organizers to parade rest. The elektion is over. Operation Minnie Mouse a resounding success. Plans to register Walt Disney as a Demokrat not necessary. Oh, wait. Different type of acorn...

The solution is obvious

[Anonymous Coward]

Big Acorn needs a bailout.

I found them...

[mr_lizard13]

this guy's got em all

http://www.old-computers.com/club/collectors/ordis.asp?c=3664 [old-computers.com]

Re:Let me guess...

[MikeDirnt69]

They met Alvin, and now are trading songs for food.

Acorns? As in a nut, not a computer?

[coofercat]

Acorn is a long-forgotten, but actually tremendously influential company. Had Acorn not made the Acorn Electron [wikipedia.org], and subsequently the BBC Micro [wikipedia.org], I'm sure British IT would not be what it is today. Oh wait... this article is about a nut. Silly me, I thought I was on Slashdot.

Nah, don't worry...

[bhunachchicken]

Panic when the dolphins decide its time to leave.

Re:Let me guess...

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh, and...funnily enough I've found that climate change skepticism seems to be the prevalent sentiment here

SNIP, SNIP, FUCKING SNIP!! what are you an outlook user?

Re:Weird...

[Kamineko]

Noo! Don't touch it!

Touch Fuzzy, Get Dizzy! :(

Haven't seen them in a few years

[erikdalen]

I haven't seen them in a while either. But my first thought was these:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acorn_Computers [wikipedia.org]

Pay attention, Hollywood

[AdmiralXyz]

This sounds like the beginning of an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

Re:Let me guess...

[Anonymous Coward]

I just thought it would be fun to quote again... All the cool kids quote the parent when they reply!

Oh, and...funnily enough I've found that climate change skepticism seems to be the prevalent sentiment here

Although I tend to side with the thesis of anthropogenic climate change I agree that there are too many alarmists who will draw an instant connection between occurances such as this and "global warming".

That said, I would have hoped that you could dig up some better references to support your post; Miranda Divine is an ignoarmus and Kieth Windshuttle has only slightly more credibility than David Irving.

...to what the majority of comments to this article will be related, given the delicious quotes like this in the article:'

"I'm used to seeing so many acorns around and out in the field, it's something I just didn't believe. [...] But this is not just not a good year for oaks. It's a zero year. There's zero production. I've never seen anything like this before."

[...]

The absence of acorns could have something to do with the weather, Simmons thought. But he hoped it wasn't a climatic event. "Let's hope it's not something ghastly going on with the natural world."

[...]

"This is the first time I can remember in my lifetime not seeing any acorns drop in the fall and I'm 53. You have to wonder, is it global warming? Is it environmental? It makes you wonder what's going on."

Of course, these will be ignored on page two of the story:

Whatever the reason for no acorns, foresters and botanists are paying attention.

But they say they're not worried yet. "What's there to worry about?" said Alan Whittemire, a botanist at the U.S. Arboretum. "If you're a squirrel, it's a big worry. But it's no problem for the oak tree. They live a long time. They'll produce acorns again when they're ready to."

White oaks can live as long as 300 years. Faster-growing red oaks can reach 200. And it takes only one acorn to make a tree, he said, which in an urban area with little open space is often more than enough.

"This is probably just a low year, a biological event, and it'll go away," Zimmer said. "But if this were to continue another two, three, four years, you might have to ask yourself what's going on, whether it is an indication of something bigger."

I know it's not a popular sentiment here, but Beware the church of climate alarm [smh.com.au].

[P]erhaps people are starting to wonder whether the so-called precautionary principle, which would have us accept enormous new taxes in the guise of an emissions trading scheme and curtail economic growth, is justified, based on what we actually know about climate.

One of Australia's leading enviro-sceptics, the geologist and University of Adelaide professor Ian Plimer, 62, says he has noticed audiences becoming more receptive to his message that climate change has always occurred and there is nothing we can do to stop it.

In a speech at the American Club in Sydney on Monday night for Quadrant magazine, titled Human-Induced Climate Change - A Lot Of Hot Air, Plimer debunked climate-change myths.

"Climates always change," he said. Our climate has changed in cycles over millions of years, as the orbit of the planet wobbles and our distance from the sun changes, for instance, or as the sun itself produces variable amounts of radiation. "All of this affects climate. It is impossible to stop climate change. Climates have always changed and they always will.

His two-hour presentation included more than 50 charts and graphs, as well as almost 40 pages of references. It is the basis of his new book, Heaven And Earth: The Missing Science Of Global Warming, to be published early next year.

Plimer said one of the charts, which plots atmospheric carb

Re:The solution is obvious

[MaggieL]

They tried to put a lot of money for ACORN in the bailout, but the Republicans stopped them. Considering that a lot of the crap mortgages are ACORN's fault, it's only fair...

Re:Let me guess...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes. It's a different planet.

Re:Another anecdotal data point - Dallas Texas

[Anonymous Coward]

The Dutch word for acorn is "eikel".
"Eikel" also has another meaning, namely dickhead.

So yes, I believe you :-)

Re:Let me guess...

[hobo sapiens]

The squirrels are merely saving them. They know the apocalypse is coming. That, or they are planning an all out takeover of the earth. Are you ready?

Look! You've been warned! The hungry squirrel of the apocalypse rides!!!

So long and thanks for all the nuts

[fivethreeo]

n/t

Squirrels:

[ciderVisor]

Squirrels are just rats with good PR.

Re:Let me guess...

[arelas]

It's a simple supply and demand thing. OAPT (Organization of the Acorn Producing Trees) decided that supply was too high and cut production. This has significantly increased the price per cheek full.

Bees

[Pope]

The bees took them!

Re:Let me guess...

[macbeth66]

I for one, welcome our furry overlords!

Re:Let me guess...

[tmosley]

Obviously all we need to do is drop an ever-larger chunk of ice into the ocean every now and then. That'll fix the problem.

FOREVER!

Re:Let me guess...

[lennier]

"All for the greater good of the Earth, and it doesn't matter that billions will die because we just "backed off" and discarded all our technology to the point that tigers can eat us for lunch!"

What the heck is with this argument? I keep hearing it from anti-environmentalists. It makes no sense.

The point isn't that we should "save the planet" IN EXCHANGE FOR human wellbeing. Nobody's arguing that!

The point is that we should save the planet TO SUPPORT human wellbeing. Because we, y'know, live here? And rely on a functioning ecosystem to, eg, eat and breathe? Do you want to continue doing that? Then perhaps you'd like to continue to have some trees to make the oxygen and something living to eat? As opposed to a dead high-tech sea of glass and asphalt willed into existence by John Galt and his heroic band?

Yes, stone age society would suck. But if our only options are a stone-age society or complete mass extinction... which of those options would YOU rather take?

I'm not saying those necessarily *are* our actual options - they're the potential extremes. But "dialing back" a bit on the industrial revolution is not this mass flight from reason and sanity that some of the weirder voices on the Right seem to think it is. It's about finding a way to stop our breathing privileges from being revoked because we've cut down all the trees to build parking lots.

Seriously, what are you guys smoking over there?