Maryland Court Weighs Internet Anonymity 409
Cornwallis writes "In a First Amendment case with implications for everything from neighborhood e-mail lists to national newspapers, a Maryland businessman argued to the state's highest court yesterday that the host of an online forum should be forced to reveal the identities of people who posted allegedly defamatory comments. The businessman, Zebulon J. Brodie, contends that he was defamed by comments about his shop, a Dunkin' Donuts in Centreville, posted on NewsZap.com. The shop was described as one 'of the most dirty and unsanitary-looking food-service places I have seen.' Talk about a Negative Nellie! At least the article didn't say the shop was the 'most dirty and unsanitary-looking food-service places I have seen.'"
Anonymity (Score:5, Funny)
Anonymity is the bane of a civilized society and should not be tolerated on the Internet.
Someone Post Pictures Now! (Score:4, Funny)
"The question of the state of cleanliness is a material fact in the issue. Someone please post ZoeTroped pictures of the restaurant so that we may see its condition. It's only defamation if it's false."
Re:Zebulon J. Brodie (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Zebulon J. Brodie (Score:5, Funny)
Man that guy is an asshole. And I've been to his DD it sucks. The kitchen is nasty, and the people behind the counter are all fat kids, and there's never any waffles!
Good thing I posted this on the internet where people have learned to take everything with a grain of salt and realize that I could be from ukraine and be posting this having never been to mary's land or where ever.
Re:Here comes the Eula (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Zebulon J. Brodie (Score:3, Funny)
"Zebulon" is just his alias.
Sorry Maryland (Score:3, Funny)
+1 Missed the point in a funny way (Score:5, Funny)
Utini sits at his desk, pina-colada in hand, surfing Slashdot. Occassionally taking a pull from his -- slightly too effeminate -- cigarette holder, containing a Gauloises cigarette. Its dark, heady odour fills the room, while thick smoke hangs in layers, waiting to be disturbed by a draught.
All is calm like this for several minutes, then suddenly, outraged by what he sees as a crime against free expression, Utini is forced to down his drink and cigarette upon the table. He must fight against those who would destroy the anonymity the Internet affords. He writes furiously and ceaselessly for several seconds, penning a Slashdot post he is sure will make the original poster repent from their stupidity, and save anyone swayed by the flawed argument.
He finishes writing, diligently presses the Review button, before submitting the post. He is certain this will do good, he may have even saved the Internet as we know it! This is a good day.
Almost immediately after pressing the Submit button, he hears a dull roar in the distance. It's beyond his log cabin, beyond the small garden with its piles of wood and lumberjack's tools. He strains his ears before going outside to look over the tops of the trees surrounding the mountain retreat.
The noise is increasing in volume, the source of it is getting closer. Utini squints as a shape begins to define itself, turning at first from a dot, to a blob, then taking shape as some sort of aeroplane. He has time to observe that the plane must be moving at phenomenal speed before it has practically overtaken him; with a mind-shattering screech, and noise of engines, Utini sees that, somehow, the plane is the post he replied to. Puzzled he reflects that it must have been a trick of the mind. The anonymity argument must have really bothered him. He thinks this until a piece of paper drifts down from the sky, landing at his feet.
Seeing the paper is folded, Utini opens it up, and not without some trepidation. Upon it is written a simple message, so simple it seems bizarre that the Anonymous Coward went to such lengths to get it to him. The paper said:
"Wow." thought Utini, "That's got to be the most roundabout way to tell someone they've misunderstood a joke."
Re:+1 Missed the point in a funny way (Score:5, Funny)
"Wow." thought Utini, "That's got to be the most roundabout way to tell someone they've misunderstood a joke."
Have no fear... AC has come up with an even more roundabout way [slashdot.org].
Re:You just got served by humor (Score:3, Funny)
I was about to mod you down, but then I realised your post was most likely sarcastic...
Re:Zebulon J. Brodie (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Give me their names. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Zebulon J. Brodie (Score:3, Funny)
Or the size if she'd been tall.
Re:No mention however (Score:1, Funny)
Nobody makes any money by keeping good karma.
And if they are, I'm suing for back pay. ... posting anonymously to not ruin my income-destroying moderation here. :D
Re:Give me their names. (Score:2, Funny)
The donut shop owner doesn't have a leg to stand on.
Is that from the MRSA? That might explain why he is so colicky.
Re:Give me their names. (Score:2, Funny)
Unfortunately, this is a statement of fact, and as Mr. Brodie is not, in fact, missing both legs, you should expect a visit from his lawyer any day now.