DHS To Use Body Odor As a Lie Detector 206
The US Department of Homeland Security is studying lies, damned lies, and smells. They hope to prove that human body odor could be used to tell when people are lying. The department says they are already "conducting experiments in deceptive behavior and collecting human odor samples" and that the research it hopes to fund "will consist primarily of the analysis and study of the human odor samples collected to determine if a deception indicator can be found."
Re:Something stinks around here (Score:5, Funny)
They could be lining this up as the replacement for UAC!
it might work in some situations.. (Score:1, Funny)
investigator: Suspect A, did you just fart? ..
suspect A: no!
Re:Something stinks around here (Score:0, Funny)
Hello, is that an armpit hoover? (Score:4, Funny)
Hello, is that an armpit hoover? Or are you just pleased to see me?
I always make an effort to shower or bathe before I have a flight, especially if it is long-haul.
Now, I don't particularly care for the idea of a 'lie-sniffer', as it is just more tin-foil-hattery from leeches who can demand government funding to 'fight teh terrorists'. However, if they keep the guy that is a couple of hundred pounds overweight, and hasn't washed for a week, off the plane - I'll be happy.
Consumer version, please ... (Score:5, Funny)
After all, it would be nice to be able to say that Office Depot's policy of lying to customers literally STINKS! [slashdot.org]
So how are they going to calibrate this?
Your Stink-o-Lie-Meter
1. Kid with hand in cookie jar
10. Madoff with hand in cookie jar
66. Used car salesman
666: Bush "They Have WMDs" salesman
2. "No, the dress doesn't make you look fat."
0. "It's not the dress."
9. "It's not the dress, and I ENJOY sleeping on the couch!"
4. It's a bug (it's not a "bug" - it didn't crawl in on its' own volition - fess up and admit you made a mistake).
40. It's a feature.
0. "They're real." (It's none of your business, Jack!)
9. "I didn't forget your birthday."
500. "We have a plan to deal with the current financial crisis" - ANY POLITICIAN - we KNOW you're just making this sh*t up as you go along.
499. "Bankruptcy is not an option." - GM head honcho Ron Wagoner
I thought the US had stopped French-bashing (Score:3, Funny)
Since France is about to join NATO (which of course they call OTAN) this could lead to serious diplomatic incidents.
"You, Sir, are a dirty liar! The machine says so!"
"Sale espece de cochon, I have simply had snails in garlic with a bottle of Burgundy for lunch."
A bad day for Linux users (Score:1, Funny)
Time to wash, boys!
Re:it might work in some situations.. (Score:3, Funny)
Welcome to the Gitmo halitosis holding area. In order to pass your odor testing, you'll be required to eat only TexMex food for the next 21 days. If after that time you still fail, you'll be given permanent quarters on the other side of the facility.
You newcomers should take note. nobody likes terrorists. To show support of American, this holding area is sponsored by Scott bathroom tissue and The Fox news network. Please try to avoid shitting yourself stupid.
DHS should pay a visit to the US congress... (Score:2, Funny)
... There's the smell they are looking for.
Woot (Score:1, Funny)
If the government can detect our lies I say it's only fair that we should have use of this tech. To detect theirs!
If such a thing was allowed you can bet that Homeland Security would cut funding to this thing immediately and maybe even send the scientists to an undisclosed location.
Re:A pack of dogs (Score:4, Funny)
Truth (Score:4, Funny)
Re:it might work in some situations.. (Score:5, Funny)
We aleady have that (Score:1, Funny)
We already can tell when someone from the government is lying.
Their lips are moving.
Re:Something stinks around here (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Something stinks around here (Score:2, Funny)
I am allergic to every deodorant/antiperspirant I've ever tried that actually worked.
Liar.
Re:it might work in some situations.. (Score:3, Funny)
Oh Bugger, thats the end of /. then (Score:2, Funny)
To paraphrase Buckaroo Banzai: (Score:3, Funny)
You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside pseudoscience it all looks the same.