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GNU is Not Unix Data Storage Privacy

CloudLeft Public License Closes User Data Loophole 70

Posted by timothy
from the for-great-justice dept.
FreedomFighter writes "In a Cloud Standards breakthrough, the FSF is teaming up with major cloud computing vendors to form the Free and Open Cloud Alliance (FOCA), a trade marketing association supporting Free(TM) and Open Cloud Computing (FOCC). The new CloudLeft Public License (CPL) is based on the ideas that data wants to be Free(TM) and all your Cloud(TM) are belong to us. It closes the 'user data loophole' by requiring the release of not only the source code for a CloudLeft platform but also the data passing through it. This renders most security issues void while appropriately setting the users' expectation of privacy. 'In the past, I've said that "cloud" is complete gibberish, but while discussing fashion during my weekly squash game with Stallman he convinced me that this was a great opportunity.' said Larry Ellison, CEO of Oracle. RMS, who previously said that 'cloud' is worse than stupidity was also pleased about the return of the advertising clause, requiring the use of the 'GNU/Cloud' name, as he is 'tired of haranguing the GNU/Linux community about this.' Full details will be available next Monday, including the first marketing and outreach program — 'FOCC: IT in 2009.'"
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CloudLeft Public License Closes User Data Loophole

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  • Gentlemen: (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @02:25PM (#27422529)

    The time has come for a serious discussion on whether or
    not to continue using C for serious programming projects. As I will
    explain, I feel that C needs to be retired, much the same way that
    Fortran, Cobol and Perl have been. Furthermore, allow me to be so bold
    as to suggest a superior replacement to this outdated language.

    To give you a little background on this subject, I was recently asked
    to develop a client/server project on a Unix platform for a Fortune
    500 company. While I've never coded in C before I have coded in VB for
    fifteen years, and in Java for over ten, I was stunned to see how
    poorly C fared compared to these two, more low-level languages.

    C's biggest difficulty, as we all know, is the fact that it is by far
    one of the slowest languages in existance, especially when compared to
    more modern languages such as Java and C#. Although the reasons for
    this are varied, the main reasons seems to be the way C requires a
    programmer to laboriously work with chunks of memory.

    Requiring a programmer to manipulate blocks of memory is a tedious way
    to program. This was satisfactory back in the early days of coding,
    but then again, so were punchcards. By using what are called
    "pointers" a C programmer is basically requiring the computer to do
    three sets of work rather than one. The first time requires the
    computer to duplicate whatever is stored in the memory space "pointed
    to" by the pointer. The second time requires it to perform the needed
    operation on this space. Finally the computer must delete the
    duplicate set and set the values of the original accordingly.

    Clearly this is a horrendous use of resources and the chief reason why
    C is so slow. When one looks at a more modern (and a more serious)
    programming language like Java, C# or - even better - Visual Basic
    that lacks such archaic coding styles, one will also note a serious
    speed increase over C.

    So what does this mean for the programming community? I think clearly
    that C needs to be abandonded. There are two candidates that would be
    a suitable replacement for it. Those are Java and Visual Basic.

    Having programmed in both for many years, I believe that VB has the
    edge. Not only is it slightly faster than Java its also much easier to
    code in. I found C to be confusing, frightening and intimidating with
    its non-GUI-based coding style. Furthermore, I like to see the source
    code of the projects I work with. Java's source seems to be under the
    monopolistic thumb of Sun much the way that GCC is obscured from us by
    the marketing people at the FSF. Microsoft's "shared source" under
    which Visual Basic is released definately seems to be the most fair
    and reasonable of all the licenses in existance, with none of the
    harsh restrictions of the BSD license. It also lacks the GPLs
    requirement that anything coded with its tools becomes property of the
    FSF.

    I hope to see a switch from C to VB very soon. I've already spoken
    with various luminaries in the C coding world and most are eager to
    begin to transition. Having just gotten off the phone with Mr. Alan
    Cox, I can say that he is quite thrilled with the speed increases that
    will occur when the Linux kernel is completely rewritten in Visual
    Basic. Richard Stallman plans to support this, and hopes that the
    great Swede himself, Linux Torvaldis, won't object to renaming Linux
    to VB/Linux. Although not a C coder himself, I'm told that Slashdot's
    very own Admiral Taco will support this on his web site. Finally,
    Dennis Ritchie is excited about the switch!

    Thank you for your time. Happy coding.

  • by hitnrunrambler (1401521) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @02:30PM (#27422621)

    ... now we really know that /. overdid the April Fools jokes.

    I actually stared at the new updates for 30 seconds before I noticed it was a virgin thread.
    Really I'm just looking to boost my achievements.

  • by Phizzle (1109923)
    ers!
    • Re:FOCA (Score:5, Funny)

      by hitnrunrambler (1401521) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @02:34PM (#27422685)

      what about the "Media Usable Through Heuristic Art-intell" branch of the "Free and Open Cloud Alliance"?

      those MUTHA FOCAs have a real PR nightmare ahead of them.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      The cast and crew of Battlestar Gallactica were unavailable for comments, they were Finally Realizing Another Crock was on slashdot.

      • Getting to the point here: It's easy to predict from the timing of the buyout of TPB, RMS playing sqash, the stars deciding the timing of Easter and the fact that if you take the first letter of every 777th word written in comments on Slashdot since the start, it spells out the Bible backwards, mirrored around the point where Lot runs away from Sodoma, and this comment adds the last letter, that sometime in the early afternoon of the 12th of april, Christ will come back from space in his Maria Mother Spaces

  • by phantomfive (622387) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @02:31PM (#27422637) Journal
    It's stories like this that make me miss the pink ponies.

    Never was there an April fool's day so garrishly awesome. I wish there were a way to bring it back.

    These days all we get are a collection of April Fool's day stories from around the web, which is still kind of fun. Incidentally, check out youtube.com. Awesome.
  • Ah crap... (Score:2, Informative)

    Just remembered it's April fools.
  • Stop it! (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Cube Steak (1520237) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @02:31PM (#27422647)
    Derp derp, another unfunny April Fools Day "joke".
  • Now I don't have to worry about privacy any more.
  • My sentiments exactly. I can't be the only one who now really misses "OMG!!! Ponies!"
  • Interesting (Score:2, Interesting)

    by greyline (1052440)
    I have a sinking suspicion that this is not real. I mean today is April 1. I've heard of this thing called April Fools Day where people play pranks on one another. Perhaps this is one of those instances? All of today's articles on /. seemed pretty convincing to me, but this one is just a little too unbelievable. I think I'm on to them! Nice try, guys. No pulling the wool over these eyes. Now where'd I put my glasses?
  • Nacho Libre (Score:5, Funny)

    by qoncept (599709) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @02:40PM (#27422765) Homepage
    This April Fools has been like Nacho Libre - I can't even tell what's supposed to be funny and what's not.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by CoffeePlease (596791)
      I get that feeling from reading the Wall Street Journal these days.
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by shadowbearer (554144)

          Or any other news source.

          Some say it's because we have increased exposure to news, in general, and that it's always been that way.

          If that's so, then the human race really IS a bunch of silly fools, with a few sensical people in the mix, like raisins in raisin bread.

          Personally I think we're just becoming collectively sillier.

        SB

  • by rackserverdeals (1503561) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @02:41PM (#27422789) Homepage Journal

    Stallman didn't like the cloud because it changes the way people use computers and will require a new version of the GPL.

    Dammit people! We finally have a stable version of GNU/Hurd [gnu.org] but it could have been out years ago if you didn't insist on forcing web technologies on the world requiring RMS to spend more time with lawyers than emacs.

    Ellison was able to turn him around durring a joy ride in one of his fighter jets. Apparently RMS doesn't like barrel rolls.

    • he just promised RMS he would get NASA to name the new Space Station Lab "Stallman" instead of "Colbert".
  • by Anonymous Coward

    ...news at 11.

  • by Saija (1114681) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @02:47PM (#27422885) Journal
    That's Seal in Spanish...
  • New depths of lame (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Tetsujin (103070) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @03:45PM (#27423587) Homepage Journal

    "The new CloudLeft Public License (CPL) is based on the ideas that data wants to be Free(TM) and all your Cloud(TM) are belong to us."

    Sorry, this is where I stop reading this one. Author has exceeded his lameness allowance.

  • by eison (56778) <pkteison@PERIODhotmail.com minus punct> on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @03:51PM (#27423639) Homepage

    I have had a client nix a deal done on an open source platform because they erroneously believed that the code being open source required their data to also be open source. I've seen actual legal briefs from practicing lawyers who somehow really thought that. Don't even joke about it.

    • by glenstar (569572)
      They should be scared! There are many projects out there that have "Creative Commons" clauses (see Laconica and it's implementation identi.ca for example) that force all content in the system out into the public ether. I won't go into detail about whether this is wrong or right (it is VERY wrong!) but any business that wants to use any project that exists out there already (particularly GPLed ones) should look very long and hard at the licensing ramifications.
  • 'In the past, I've said that "cloud" is complete gibberish, but while discussing fashion during my weekly squash game with Stallman he convinced me that this was a great opportunity.'

    Definitely a fake; Stallman and Ellison only meet once a week for a "Circle Jerk."

    However, after years of pumping effort, Ellison has become tired of waiting for the GNU Hurd "first emission."

  • by bitrex (859228)
    If you look at the word long enough it starts to look really weird. It starts to look all German. ACHTUNG, DAS IST MEIN FLAMSCHMEISSER! I'd like it if they brought back Friendster as it was before it became mostly for Asians.
  • of the stories posted today, yet not a lot of responses -too subtle??

    Oh well -I need to go check and see if this post shows up in 'achievements' in my profile

    -I'm just sayin'

  • I can see what the poster tried to do here, but something is weak here.

    Ah yes, it's the sauce.

    Can CADIE do something funny so that I can get more lolz here?
  • Welcome our new culumus overlords.
  • OK, I finally got it. You are talking about the weather.

What the world *really* needs is a good Automatic Bicycle Sharpener.

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