New Food-Growth Product a Bit Hairy 243
MeatBag PussRocket writes "An article from Marketplace.org reports, 'A Florida company has developed an all-natural product that it says could revolutionize how food is grown in the US. It's called Smart Grow, but it might be a tough sell. It's inexpensive. It eliminates the need for pesticides, so it's environmentally friendly, but it's human hair. Plant pathologists at the University of Florida have found the mats eliminate weeds better than leading herbicides and can also make plants grow up to 30 percent larger.'"
Other usages? (Score:5, Funny)
and can also make plants grow up to 30 percent larger.'"
Maybe someone needs to use this idea to make a super penis pill!
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Funny)
You've gotta tell them! (Score:5, Funny)
Smart Grow is people!
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Funny)
Agreed and THIS: more people than that die every hour from:
Pencil sharpener mishaps
Loose shoelaces
Ennui
Swine flu (aka Captain Tripps)
Paper cuts
Choking on midgets
Fox News
Staring too long at Rob Malda
Nail biting
Ugliness
Smoking cigarettes
Bad haircuts
Forgetting to breathe
Segway vs. Prius collisions
Snorting bleach
Coding in CSS
Auto-erotic asphyxiation
Cricket attacks
Playing cricket while intoxicated
E.coli
E.fail
Fork/toaster/musical chairs
Chair falls
Chainsaw juggling
Country music
Posting about POSIX compliance on Slashdot
Chewing tinfoil
=Smidge=
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:4, Funny)
"Oh, that pesticide is NASTY! It's like Zyklon-B or nerve gas! And manure is...is... POOP! It's full of GERMS! But: HUMAN HAIR? EeeEEEeeeewww! Gross! Gag me with a spoon! Give me the nerve gas or the cowshit! Now!"
RS
Bring the 80's rockers back! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Other usages? (Score:5, Funny)
And trimming the hair makes your penis appear 30% larger.
Re:Other usages? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Does it work only with human hair? (Score:3, Funny)
taxes (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Funny)
In China, hair is a commodity, used in wigs and even as an additive in food.
OK as an additive in food? That is gross. Wait, hair pie? Nevermind.
Why it is human hair (Score:5, Funny)
It's human hair because, being at the top of the food chain, all those nasty chemicals like herbicides, pesticides and fertilizers collect in our bodies in the highest concentrations. Thus our hair is chock-full-o-chemicals. It's no wonder human hair mats have all these wondrous properties -- they are really just recycling all those chemicals we've been putting into the environment for the last 50 years.
Re:Does it work only with human hair? (Score:5, Funny)
Galactic hunger could be solved with Stallman's beard!
Hair... factory? (Score:5, Funny)
So just where is all this hair coming from, exactly? Are there 3rd world hair factories where children will be surreptitiously filmed hanging from the ceiling with their hair attached to hooks to make it grow faster, videos of natives explaining just how many beads they get paid for a pound of hair which figures out to a monthly income equivalent of 63 cents, and the poor orphans trotting out missing chunks from their ear where the evil corporate barbers sheared just a bit too fast and cut them for squirming? Will we see Sally Struthers begging us for just $1 a day so the poor hairless masses CAN AFFORD WIGS?!?!
Re:Beowulf clusters of hair donors? (Score:4, Funny)
I will then have to put up with people asking if I'm ok, have I lost my job, why am I selling my hair for fertilizer?
Nature can be so cruel.
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:2, Funny)
"You should see the list of extremely toxic chemicals or "product" MOST people put in their hair."
Fixed that for you.
And for those who are in denial, look up the ingredients in your favorite personal care products, then look for the MSDS [wikipedia.org], and then stfu!
Re:taxes (Score:4, Funny)
I'm going to be rich! (Score:3, Funny)
This is just like Christmas, only better
Re:Eliminates weeds better than herbicides? (Score:1, Funny)
Reminds me of something from Jack Ass 2... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Other usages? (Score:3, Funny)
Chia-Plant? (Score:4, Funny)
This is like some bizarro world variation of a Chia-head, but I'm not sure how.
Great -instead of head lice... (Score:3, Funny)
I can see it now - there will be some weed that will adapt to grow on this stuff - something will make the jump. Then we will start to see people who "catch" an infection of dandelions on their head.
New! - Head & Shoulders with Ortho 5 weed killer!!
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:5, Funny)
Another exercise: look up the ingredients in SALT and then look up what happens when you mix Na with H2O. Can't believe people eat that stuff, ugh.
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:So let me get this straight... (Score:2, Funny)