Can Bill Gates Prevent the Next Katrina?

Can Bill Gates Prevent the Next Katrina? 380

Posted by timothy on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:01AM from the you-can-have-6-billion-guesses dept.

theodp writes "He once controlled the world's PCs. Now Bill Gates has set his sights on controlling the world's weather. And patenting it. On Thursday, the USPTO revealed that Gates and ex-Microsoft CTO Nathan Myhrvold have filed five patent applications that propose using large fleets of vessels to suppress hurricanes through various methods of mixing warm water from the surface of the ocean with colder water at greater depths. The idea is to decrease the surface temperature, reducing or eliminating the heat-driven condensation that fuels the giant storms. Hey, a guy can only play so much golf in retirement."

Can Bill Gates Prevent the Next Katrina?

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Next up! (Score:5, Funny)

by AltGrendel ( 175092 ) writes: <ag-slashdot.exit0@us> on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:03AM (#28647927) Homepage

He'll have an island in the middle of the ocean with a volcano that has a giant face on it that looks like him.

Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:04AM (#28647937)

I hope it doesn't blue sky on us.

Re:Next up! (Score:5, Funny)

by 2.7182 ( 819680 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:04AM (#28647939)

Actually, I think just about anyone would prefer it to be a skull on a volcano, rather than a face.

Re:So... (Score:3, Funny)

by noundi ( 1044080 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:05AM (#28647941)

"Where do you want to blow today?"

Oblig. Dennis Miller quote (Score:5, Funny)

by Chris Mattern ( 191822 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:07AM (#28647969)

"Face it - Bill Gates is a about a white Persian cat and a monocle away from being a Bond villain."

I already thought of this! (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:09AM (#28647975)

A co worker and I were already discussing this! Bill steals another idea and patents it... what's new?

Vaporware... (Score:5, Funny)

by ghostis ( 165022 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:15AM (#28648031) Homepage

Great - more vaporware from Bill Gates... ;-)

whatcouldpossiblygowrong (Score:4, Funny)

by dtml-try MyNick ( 453562 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:23AM (#28648083)

Where is the whatcouldpossiblygowrong tag when you need it?

I don't think there has ever been a more appropriate reason to use it....

Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)

by JustOK ( 667959 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:24AM (#28648089) Journal

I'd at least wait for the first service pack before I install it on my planet.

The first thing I thought ... (Score:5, Funny)

by krou ( 1027572 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:25AM (#28648099)

Weather man: The sky is lovely and blue today ...
Us: ZOMG! Blue skyz of deathz!

Proof of concept (Score:3, Funny)

by Kupfernigk ( 1190345 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:28AM (#28648107)

I hope that no patent will be granted until they produce a working prototype. On another planet, identical to this one.
The catch is that as Bill would have to visit Magrathea to get the planet built, it would be cheaper just to engage them to fix the global warming on this one. (and add a few more fjords while at it.)

Re:Whatcouldpossiblygowrong! (Score:5, Funny)

by __aayejd672 ( 1311191 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:31AM (#28648143)

Blue sky of death?

Easy (Score:3, Funny)

by mlush ( 620447 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:35AM (#28648169)

He just declares flooding as the new international standard

After the disaster that was Vista... (Score:3, Funny)

by kulakovich ( 580584 ) writes: <slashdot AT bonfireproductions DOT com> on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:41AM (#28648219)

... he owes us one.

kulakovich

Hurricane BSOD (Score:3, Funny)

by mc1138 ( 718275 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:41AM (#28648221) Homepage

I guess Bill is taking what he learned from Windows and applying it to the weather...

Uhhh oooh (Score:5, Funny)

by azav ( 469988 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:45AM (#28648255) Homepage Journal

GPF in Rainfall.exe. Abort, retry or ignore?

Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)

by MindKata ( 957167 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @08:45AM (#28648257) Journal

"wait for the first service pack"

Yes but what other "features" would be in that service pack?
(1) Clouds reformatted into Microsoft friendly format to show advertising for new products.
(2) Rains on Google offices 24/7
(3) Strong winds blows everyone toward huge advertising signs they cannot ignore.
(4) DRM infested sunshine we have to buy from Microsoft.
(5) Thunder storms raining chairs on Linux offices.
(6) Snow flakes spy on us all and then tell Microsoft what we like.
(7) Apple offices found 6 weeks later under mountain of huge hail stones.
(8) Profit.

Re:Next up! (Score:3, Funny)

by Panzor ( 1372841 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @09:29AM (#28648677)

The irony of your username is hilarious.

Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)

by maxwell demon ( 590494 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @10:10AM (#28649243) Journal

Microsoft seems to have taken "cloud computing" a bit too literal.

Re:How will they know.. (Score:5, Funny)

by bberens ( 965711 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @10:30AM (#28649535)

Looks like the EU hit Microsoft with one to many anti-trust rulings.

Re:Next up! (Score:3, Funny)

by rjhubs ( 929158 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @10:45AM (#28649763)

both represent death

Re:Next up! (Score:3, Funny)

by Alinabi ( 464689 ) writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @11:20AM (#28650331)

Finally. It was about time someone made tropical weather as stable as Vista.

Re:Oh, I don't know, but (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday July 10, 2009 @12:09PM (#28651077)

Brigham Young, leave 'em old.

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Can Bill Gates Prevent the Next Katrina? 380

Can Bill Gates Prevent the Next Katrina? More Login

Can Bill Gates Prevent the Next Katrina?

Next up! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Next up! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:So... (Score:3, Funny)

Oblig. Dennis Miller quote (Score:5, Funny)

I already thought of this! (Score:1, Funny)

Vaporware... (Score:5, Funny)

whatcouldpossiblygowrong (Score:4, Funny)

Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)

The first thing I thought ... (Score:5, Funny)

Proof of concept (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Whatcouldpossiblygowrong! (Score:5, Funny)

Easy (Score:3, Funny)

After the disaster that was Vista... (Score:3, Funny)

Hurricane BSOD (Score:3, Funny)

Uhhh oooh (Score:5, Funny)

Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Next up! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:So... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:How will they know.. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Next up! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Next up! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Oh, I don't know, but (Score:1, Funny)

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