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First post... (Score:5, Funny)
I see everyone else is catatonic from watching the video.
Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
After watching the clock on the oven behind them lurch around between 3:00 and 5:00 I have an awful headache, and my eyes and ears are starting to bleed. I think I need to find a constant.
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
There is a simple explanation. While you are watching the video time ceases to have any meaning. The laws of physics and nature are rent asunder and you are thrown into a reality in which only you and that video exists.
What you may, or may not, realize... is that the clock is different for every person. It represents an unconscious awareness of something very wrong.
Be happy you have seen the clock. Sadly, some people don't even see it and don't even realize what has happened to them. Like many poor victims they have been traumatically wrenched from this reality and cannot understand, will not understand, what has happened to them. Shoved violently across existence into a sea of un-time they will experience this state of agony forever.
A work of evil worthy of the old gods it is.
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
A work of evil worthy of the old gods it is.
They are among us and they are on the internet.
Let me tell you a story.
Stacy Griffith, 15, liked frequenting chat rooms online. One day, she met a funny, goofy boy who was deep and intelligent. They talked all the time and eventually, they decided they were going to meet up at a mall in Stacy's home town.
Only when they met, Stacy realized he was no boy.
It was motherfucking Cthulhu. Holy fucking shit.
5,000 Americal girls lose their sanity to Cthulhu each year. Stop online predatation from Great Old Ones before it can start. Educate your children about Cthulhu today.
(Seen on Wil Wheaton's blog [typepad.com].)
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
But seriously, what are Microsoft getting at? This is looking more and more like a cult thing than ever. Inviting friends over to preach to them about the virtues of Windows 7 so the unrepentant soul might offer sacrifices and money to the Microsoft god? I found the advert really eerie and unsettling...
I couldn't get the word 'scientology' out of my head when watching this... The church of Microsoftology - has a nice ring to it. Doctrines include Windowsology (overarching doctrine which includes many sub-doctrines and principals including DOSomatics, BSODology and Restartology) amongst many others.
Its Ballmerific!
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Insightful)
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Interesting)
In reality, there was a lot of fanfare with Windows 95 and 98. ME broke a bubble but Windows 2000, where DOS was finally dealt a death as an underpinning, was a comparatively big deal. There was fanboyism that in turn, gave Microsoft a lift into data centers where they'd never been allowed before. The rest of history is as we know it.
So yeah-- they had and even may have fanboys. Linux once really sucked, despite its philosophical underpinnings. Apple's MacOS wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, either. Things change.
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Insightful)
But as a matter of philosophy, Microsoft boldly claims "You will never need a shell" and a lot of people rejoice.
Yes, but then those of us who want a shell get... the freaking MS-DOS Command Prompt. Quite possibly the worst shell interface known to mankind. It's so bad that its suckiness has to be deliberate, Microsoft's way of "encouraging" people to think that clicking on icons is the only reasonable way to use a computer.
(yeah, I know there are alternatives. My point is that they shouldn't be "alternatives", something decent should be the default by now. It's 2009, not 1981, for God's sake)
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Insightful)
One thing that strikes me about my mac is that it doesn't treat me like an enormous retard. I don't have stupid little dogs popping up to "find" files for me, I don't have to click through 5 warnings about how what I'm about to do will end the world when I try to navigate out of my home directory, and the whole experience isn't dumbed down to the level of a 2 year old.
Yes, I know you can turn all that shit off in windows, but why do I have to? Every time I use a windows computer it leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Interesting)
I'm actually hosting one of these, but we're also going to be doing comparison demos of Ubuntu and Snow Leopard. In addition to the Windows 7 junk that comes in the party kit (including a free copy of Windows 7 Ultimate), I will be giving out LiveCDs and and discs of free software.
I think Windows 7 is a marked improvement over XP (I have been using it fulltime since the beta), but friends help friends find what's best for their situation. I have die hard Windows/Mac/Linux friends, so doing it this way is a chance for everyone to explore something new--even if I have to make an excuse like a Windows 7 party to do it.
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Interesting)
OMG no. You get balloons, a deck of cards, napkins (napkins?!) and free copy of Windows 7 Ultimate. You're suppose to install it on your computer and become familiar with and demo it, but since I've had a copy since the RTM was released last month, I'm just going to raffle it off.
Most of this crap isn't even going up, but here's the full list of junk:
-One limited Signature Edition Windows® 7 Ultimate
-One Deck of Playing Cards with Windows® 7 Desktop Design
-One Puzzle with Windows® 7 Desktop Design
-One Poster with Windows® 7 Desktop Design
-Ten Tote Bags with Windows® 7 Desktop Design for hosts and guests
-One table top centerpiece for decoration
-One package of Windows® 7 napkins
Also included in USA party packs:
-One package of streamers for decoration
-One package of balloons for decoration
Looks like the rest of the world gets the shaft, what with no balloons or streamers...
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
"One table top centerpiece for decoration"
A centerpiece? A fucking centerpiece? Really?
The BSD party kit is so much easier. Weed and sunglasses.
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Insightful)
I couldn't get the word 'scientology' out of my head when watching this
I was thinking "Amway"
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Insightful)
Uuuuuuuuuuuhuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh... drool, pass out. No wonder adding comments has been disabled for the video. This reminds me of anti-smoking ads that are so lame and stupid (usually directed at teens) that they make you want to smoke.
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
This is your party...
This is your party on Windows 7...
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:Clock! (Score:5, Funny)
It's the new episode from Brannon Braga!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/97929/flashforward-no-more-good-days [hulu.com]
"For 2 minutes and seventeen seconds, we all blacked out..." ... in the future!"
"We didn't black out sir, we were
"What did you see?"
"It was too horrible to talk about."
"Come on honey... What was it?"
"I was STILL at the release party!"
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Re:First post... (Score:5, Funny)
The clock on the oven kinda reminds me of the estimated-time-remaining clock on a windows file copy dialog.
xkcd:
http://xkcd.com/612/ [xkcd.com]
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Funny. (Score:5, Funny)
Come on, this video is complex, challenging art.
Re:Missed porn opportunity. (Score:5, Funny)
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Microsoft is pure genius (Score:5, Insightful)
Most advertisements only evoke one or two emotions. This one manages to make me feel despair, disgust, fear, and rage, all at the same time.
They've truly taken it to the next level.
Re:Microsoft is pure genius (Score:5, Funny)
wait until you try the OS.
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Re:Microsoft is pure genius (Score:5, Insightful)
wait until you try the OS.
I've been using it for several months, it's definitely not as bad as their marketing.
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Re:Microsoft is pure genius (Score:5, Insightful)
While you're likely to shoot me down without bothering to look at what's being said, I'd like to point something out to you:
when cifs said that he'd been using it for several months, and that it wasn't bad, you decided that because he installed a beta OS from MS, he automatically didn't count.
What you're overlooking is that you have no idea the circumstances under which he's using it. He could be using it in a virtual machine. He could be dual-booting with another OS. He could actually be using the beta for its intended purpose: to test it. To see if he can break it. To see if it's actually functional. You have no way of knowing what other systems he's using, or what other computers he's got.
And even if he is using it as his primary OS, has it ocurred to you to ask why he's using it over some of the alternatives? This is Slashdot. Is it really possible to be a user here and not know what Linux is, or OS/X, or BSD, or Solaris? Even in passing, I'd say that most of the reader base here has tried at least one of the above at some point in time, and that a significant portion of them are using one or more of those alternative OSes right now as we speak.
Considering that he's probably well aware of the options available to him, why is he using Win7? Honestly, chalking it up to fanboi-ism is selling yourself short. You'd do well to try it out in a VM and see what it's actually about before you spout off mindless drivel like you just did. If you're going to shoot down his choice to use Win7, do it on a point-by-point basis, explaining exactly why one of the alternatives is better. And "it's free" isn't really a dealbreaker... neither is DRM, really, since I can still play downloaded MP3's, downloaded OGG/Vorbis, downloaded divx and xvid videos, and was able to do all of the above without ever going off and finding codecs. When I opened the file, it was already associated with WMP, and WMP was able to find the codec for me. While there's DRM in the OS, it isn't slowing things down significantly for me, and it isn't interfering with my ability to do what I want with the computer. I could see it causing you issues if you were trying to rip DVDs or Blu-rays, but most of us won't be affected by it.
As for myself, I needed to do an OS reinstall on my gaming machine about a month and a half ago. As I've got an MSDN subscription (was a benefit from a job I had a while back, and they "forgot" to disable it), I downloaded and installed the RTM version of 64-bit Windows 7. It starts up faster than XP (MCE 2005) did on my machine, it's more responsive, and it's got a heck of a lot more eye candy. I decided to keep it, and have been using it, quite happily, on that system ever since. As for the tweaked/redesigned UI, I find that I'm quite comfortable with it, and that I really enjoy the updates they've made. It's not perfect, but no OS is. I would say, from experience, that it's about on a par with OS/X (only 10 years late!), as well as KDE4 and XFCE.
The thing is... for the first time, ever, in my experience with Windows, I don't feel like I'm fighting with the OS to achieve even simple tasks. Things just work. (on that note, every piece of my laptop's hardware worked out of the box, and the only driver I had to install was the video card). It's responsive enough, and it just gets out of my way and lets me do things, without cluttering up my screen with useless crap and warnings.
And the system in question is by no means top of the line, either. It's got a T5450 processor (1.66GHz Core2Duo), 2GB of RAM, a 120GB 7200rpm laptop hard drive, and a 256MB GeForce 8600M GT.
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Re:Microsoft is pure genius (Score:5, Funny)
What you're overlooking is that you have no idea the circumstances under which he's using it. He could be using it in a virtual machine. He could be dual-booting with another OS. He could actually be using the beta for its intended purpose: to test it. To see if he can break it. To see if it's actually functional. You have no way of knowing what other systems he's using, or what other computers he's got.
I originally had debian, xp, and openbsd running on my three main computers. I found that in order to hack the gibsons I needed more power, so I installed my zero-day windows 7 on all of them. With my newly acquired megahertz I just cruised right through the firewalls, disabled the ai, and floated off into cyberspace.
I hope this clears things up. Now can I come back to the Slashdot cool table?
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Re:Microsoft is pure genius (Score:5, Funny)
Read the Guardian article [guardian.co.uk]. What you're feeling is called "shitasmia".
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Ratings disabled? (Score:5, Informative)
I wonder why...
Re:Probably an emergency measure by Google... (Score:5, Funny)
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YouTube Comments Disabled (Score:5, Funny)
I like how they disabled comments on the video.
Because, of course, the video's obvious coolness needed no acknowledgment from the viewers.
Look at the Bright Side (Score:5, Funny)
So Microsoft will have to put with questionable content and I'll be there to vote it up and love it. Example:
*man sits behind TV set with only shoulders and head visible and upper arm working vigorously while expressions of joy cross his face*
Narrator: So there I was watching some kitten snuff films before my friends arrived for the Win7 Launch party.
*doorbell rings, narrator gets up to open door behind which are three guys with sunglasses on and a white powder visibly smeared across their upper lips*
Narrator: Guys, what's the deal, where are the hookers?
Christian Slater Sounding Partier: Yeah, Fred, about that, we had a little accident. One of the hookers got a bit lippy and they're not gonna make it.
Narrator: They're coming later?
Christian Slater Sounding Partier: Just make sure you don't leave any fingerprints on your dumpster if you go there tonight.
Narrator: Awesome, well, you all brought your stolen laptops so let's fire 'em up and start doing something better than snorting coke and killing hookers: installing Win7.
Remember, it's not just the comments that are impressively stupid on YouTube. There's also videos. Opening up your company to a video contest? Yeah, I'll be searching YouTube for "Win7 Launch Party REJECTED."
Re:Look at the Bright Side (Score:5, Informative)
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Re:Look at the Bright Side (Score:5, Informative)
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New Weight Loss program Discovered (Score:5, Funny)
This is nothing new (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft has been making crappy promotional videos for years and years.
Take a look at this MS-DOS 5 video promotion, YO MS Raps! [youtube.com]
Ballmer tries to sell Windows 1.0 [google.com]
This is the Windows 386 launch video with the crazy female office worker turning from Mission Impossible later on into a punk rock and Madona combo? [google.com]
It looks like even they know it sucks... (Score:5, Insightful)
Oh my god did that suck!!!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Tuppaware party? (Score:5, Funny)
It wasn't until I was 1/2 way through the video where it dawned on me that they were discussing throwing a party to introduce their friends to all the cool new things that Windows 7 can offer.
Either Microsoft is planning on selling Windows 7 like tuppaware or what I just watched was the introduction to a very bad porno.
Re:Tuppaware party? (Score:5, Insightful)
Either Microsoft is planning on selling Windows 7 like tuppaware or what I just watched was the introduction to a very bad porno.
Just think of how many different interests can be satisfied with this cast.
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S3x (Score:5, Funny)
Blue-Balls of Death, eh?
I think I just saw Microsoft implode (Score:5, Insightful)
well... start the countdown: implosion in 10,9,8,7...
this is easily the worst promotion I have ever seen. Microsoft, please for the love of god fire your ad agency. There is 'incompetent', and then there's this extra-special, groundbreaking new plateau of retarded-ness.
I didn't think it was possible to kill Windows 7 with a single video -- BUT IT JUST HAPPENED.
Obligatory XKCD (Score:5, Funny)
http://xkcd.com/51/ [xkcd.com]
Top 10 Windows 7 Launch Party games! (Score:5, Funny)
Apologies in advance to David Letterman:
* Pin the tail on the Ballmer
* Simon says "UAC needs your permission to continue"
* Monopoly
* Your files in a haystack
* Twenty clippy questions
* Musical thrown chairs
* Darl McBride pinata
* Red Light, Green Light, Blue Screen
* DRM may I?
* Phone Home Scruples
As per usual, nobody is getting it. (Score:5, Insightful)
People are asking, "How could Microsoft, with all its wealth and power, produce such a stupid series of ads?"
Because they're smarter than you?
--Because they have enough wealth and power to hire one of the smartest public relations firms on the planet. Waggener Edstrom is the same firm in charge of the Fox Channels. If there's any one thing they know how to do, it's identify a market and then lock down that market forever and ever and sell them whatever the hell 'truth' they feel like selling.
Here's a small clip from a page [zdnet.com] I found after about 10 seconds of Google searching. . .
Do they sound stupid now?
My guess is that they're doing three things with this ad. . .
1. They're trying to tap into a universal feeling of awkwardness that everybody feels when recalling a "PCP" party. (Parents, Chips and Pop). They're doing this because awkward, painful feelings open up memory centers. Information given during a period of high anxiety gets locked into place in the human mind. This is a well-known and often-used ploy in mind control. The information being served up in these ads is NOT how to run your software or all the features offered by their OS, but that "WINDOWS 7 EXISTS AND IT IS UBIQUITOUS AND YOU, AS A PACK ANIMAL HAD BETTER GET WITH THE PROGRAM OR RISK EXPULSION FROM THE HERD!!!!"
2. Trying to tap into the feeling of safety and love which people also feel when they think of their parents and the silly birthday parties thrown for them when they were little. Why? Because an OS is the bedrock upon which you ground your entire computer existence, --the same way your parents provided the bedrock for your adult behavior sets. You might think your parents were stupid and annoying, and you probably want to deny it, but the truth of the matter is that most people grow up to become their parents.
3. Go viral. --Using such deliberate tactics designed to rope in the lower echelon of geeks, such as stove clocks which are obviously bouncing around 'wrong' in exactly the kind of way geeks like to point out and be "Right" about. Fuck, fuck, FUCK! There's a whole sick cultural system through which people who like computer technology were warped into that "Look! I'm RIGHT!" head-space, and you had better believe that clock "error" was on purpose so as to lock them in. Low-hanging fruit.
So, please, for goodness sake, try to think outside of the bloody box when approaching the toxic waste which is advertising! If you fall for this kind of stupid shit, then you're nothing but slaves who deserve to be used and abused, and you WILL be.
Sorry for the harsh language, but this is important.
-FL
Fools (Score:5, Funny)
Windows 7 themed jello shots, strippers and potato cannons.
You can thank me later.
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Re:Im waiting for the President to weigh in... (Score:5, Funny)
A shooting spree at the local mall gets media attention too, but I wouldn't want it associated with my brand.
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Re:Im waiting for the President to weigh in... (Score:5, Interesting)
It got attention. Isn't that the point of marketing?
Not entirely. Take the Taco Bell Dog as an example. From Snopes [snopes.com]:
In July 2000 fast food giant Taco Bell (a subsidiary of Yum! Brands, Inc.) did the ostensibly unthinkable: it abruptly ended what appeared to be a highly successful ad campaign that had worked to establish this memorable brand identity. Seemingly out of the blue, the corporation announced it would no longer feature the wise-cracking Chihuahua in its ads. Though the Taco Bell dog might make cameo appearances in subsequent commercials, he was being retired as company spokespooch.
The reason behind the move was simple enough: the dog, though beloved of consumers, wasn't working magic on the company's bottom line. Though Taco Bell had succeeded in creating a cultural icon, the resultant symbol wasn't inspiring a great enough segment of the fast food-buying public to make a run for the border. Same-store sales were down 6 percent in the second quarter of 2000, a result the company could only regard as alarming and a certain sign that changes had to be made.
So while Microsoft's marketing may bring smiles to churro [seattlest.com] vendors everywhere, it doesn't mean the attention is really getting anything for Microsoft.
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Re:Good thing these bad commercials... (Score:5, Insightful)
Excellent point. Because, after all, Microsoft has such a hard time generating free press. What they really need now is to get their name out there no matter what connotation is involved with it. Once that happens, THEN they can worry about image.
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Re:What's the target audience think? (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft is the new Tupperware?
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Re:Ah Microsoft. (Score:5, Interesting)
Not even. Essentially what they are doing is kickstarting a quality viral campaign. Snigger all you want at the ad, that's what they want you do do. They produce ads that are so embarrassing that the message is really clear: "oh, did you see the lame ad, these guys should stick to doing what they do best, which is programming. Win 7 is actually quite good you know."
The implied contrast is: "Apple is all about good marketing."
Let's face it: we geeks all do the same thing. When you show up with your dirty beard, beer gut, suspenders, blackened coffee mug, you are telling the world "everyone values my competence so much that I don't need to sell myself via superficial means."
Same with Zunes and squirting and all that.
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