Subversive Groups Must Now Register In South Carolina 849
Hugh Pickens writes "The Raw Story reports that terrorists who want to overthrow the United States government must now register with South Carolina's Secretary of State and declare their intentions — or face a $25,000 fine and up to 10 years in prison. The 'Subversive Activities Registration Act' passed last year in South Carolina and now officially on the books states that 'every member of a subversive organization, or an organization subject to foreign control, every foreign agent and every person who advocates, teaches, advises or practices the duty, necessity or propriety of controlling, conducting, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States ... shall register with the Secretary of State.'"
not the first (Score:5, Funny)
Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Can I mail it in or what? (Score:5, Funny)
subversive? (Score:5, Funny)
Awwwww crap! (Score:5, Funny)
I thought my evil master plan for overthrowing the government was PERFECT! Nobody could have known what I was up to!
And now I have to tell them myself?
Oh well...
Well... (Score:3, Funny)
The story also states that it only costs $5 to register. At least it's not expensive to get on such an exclusive list!
But if they outlaw secretly being a Terrorist (Score:5, Funny)
Only criminals will secretly be Terrorists. :( ...
PANIC!
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Too bad England didn't think of this pre-1775. Jjust think we could all be speaking in smashing British accents like James Bond right now...
Re:Awwwww crap! (Score:5, Funny)
FTFA:
By "subversive organization," the law means "every corporation, society, association, camp, group, bund, political party, assembly, body or organization, composed of two or more persons
You'll be just fine if you keep it to yourself.
Murderers, bank robbers, and rapists too. (Score:5, Funny)
If you intend to do anything illegal you must register. If you litter and have not registered your intention to litter we're going to come down hard on you! Planning to kill your spouse? Register now, and get 20% off your sentence! Planning to rob a bank? Registration before Feb 15th gives you 10% off your sentence. Planning a terrorist act? Just call 1-900-TERR-RIST, and we'll go easy on you if you don't make it right away to your chosen form of heaven.
Seriously, what kind of bass awkwards government scheme is this? If your penalties for commiting a crime are too lax, tighten them. Otherwise expecting people to register their intention of breaking the law (and inciting the overthrow of the government isn't just simple free speech folks. If you think it is maybe you're so messed up this law will work on you) is pure nonsense.
The muppets coming up with this should be....oh wait I'd have to register to say that....
Re:Can I mail it in or what? (Score:5, Funny)
Do I have to register individually, or am I covered by the slashdot site licence?
Re:Too bad (Score:2, Funny)
Oh...so revolution is legal down there huh? You just gotta register before you do it? Makes total sense to me!
Re:Too bad (Score:4, Funny)
You mean you can become a subversive for only $5? (Score:3, Funny)
How awesome is that! Lets all go register!
It used to be you have to have a following buy guns or spend years spewing wacky ideas
Now you can just fill out a form and pay $5.
Re:subversive? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Too bad (Score:1, Funny)
Re:You mean you can become a subversive for only $ (Score:2, Funny)
Let's make it $10 and a T.shirt for me please.
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Can you imagine the intelligence of the voter to which this law was intended to pander? I can just imagine the debate during the next election cycle.
Mah opponent beeleeves that the Subversive Ahctevities Registration Ahct is unconstitutional. Ah beeleeve Ah speak for the GREAT people of South Carolina when Ah ask: 'Why do yoo support the terrorists?'
Re:Too bad (Score:1, Funny)
The first amendment doesn't end in the air.
Please go to an airport or board an aircraft and begin a discussion regarding the construction and utilization of explosive devices, return to us afterward and let us know how it went.
Re:New laws (Score:3, Funny)
Perhaps the future is to have a whole set of different laws which are applicable to different situations: crime + netbook; crime + laptop; crime + multi-processor desktop machine with at leat 1GB video card memory; or even crime + beowulf cluster.
Was i really the only one who thought "Subversion" (Score:2, Funny)
first thought: who's still using Subversion when we have GIT-Hub??
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Debate and oration is very 1950s. This is the age of marketing checklist:
- Tough on terror [CHECK!]
Vote against it? you aren't tough on terror! The commercial will sound like
"Senator Foghorn Leghorn voted AGAINST the Subversive Activities Registration Act, which would have enabled law enforcement to quickly round up terrorists.
Senator Foghorn Leghorn voted AGAINST America.
Vote for America, Vote Elmer Fudd.
Paid for by the people for Elmer Fudd foundation."
I For One ... (Score:3, Funny)
Why didn't the federal government think of this? We could have already had a beowulf cluster of airport security checkpoint imaging machines matching pre-flight body scans with names from the registration list.
Re:Too bad (Score:3, Funny)
This is South Carolina. It's being passed to set these groups up for state grants, not to get them arrested.
Shock and Awesome! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Dissuade
Disuede
Re:You mean you can become a subversive for only $ (Score:3, Funny)
South Carolina could make decent money selling "Registered Subversive" ID's Tshirts and buttons :)
Secessionism (Score:4, Funny)
What is this world coming to?
Re:First and Last solution? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Too bad (Score:4, Funny)
No, disuede is two tone leather apparel having a particular napped finish. What you want is dissuede.
what the applications really look like (Score:4, Funny)
Dear South Carolina,
As requested, we hereby notify you that we are a "Subversive organization" --a corporation, society, association, camp, group, bund, political party, assembly, body or organization, composed of two or more persons. We hope to directly or indirectly advocate, advise, teach or practice the duty, necessity or propriety of controlling, conducting, seizing or overthrowing the government the State of South Carolina and any political subdivision thereof by unlawful means.
Specifically, we wish to advocate doing so by (1) collecting money from business organizations, then (2) using this money to support the campaign efforts of a sufficient number of elected officials to obtain majority influence over the elected branches of the Government of South Carolina. We will solicit and accept donations from corporations subject to foreign control, such as Sonoco Products, SCANA Corporation, Bowater, Inc., and other corporate entities with major investments in both South Carolina and the rest of the world. They do not have to be Fortune 500 companies! We're willing to include profitable corporations of any size, regardless of the national allegiances of their stockholders, board members, or executives.
We will, by funding the continuation of the careers of elected officials in the State of South Carolina, hope to directly or indirectly influence them to pursue policies favorable to the business interests of our donors, particularly when these interests conflict with the rights provided in the constitutions of the State of Carolina and the United States. As we anticipate that these conflicts will be of a constitutional nature, this should suffice to be unlawful enough to warrant registration under your recent legislation. Hopefully you will find this suitably subversive.
Included with our registration fee you will find a 15% gratuity. Please consider this a token of our appreciation of your ongoing efforts to make the realization of our goals easier.
Looking forward to seeing you at the President's Day golf outing. Looks like the weather will keep us in the clubhouse!
Toodles,
-The Old Boy Network
Re:First and Last solution? (Score:4, Funny)
"Any law which isn't enforced and has no public record of ever having been enforced for a certain period of time, say 20 years or perhaps less, that the law in question simply is null and void."
Deputy Bubba: You wanted to see me, Sheriff?
Sheriff Leroy: Yep, Bubba, I just got a call from the state legerslature. It seems our anti-sodomy law is up for renewal.
Deputy Bubba: 'Bout damn time!
Sheriff Leroy: You betcha bygolly! We need to get crackin' on this. We only have a month.
Deputy Bubba: I'll tell the men to be on the lookout for sodomistic behavior.
Sheriff Leroy: Hop to it son. And tell the undercover sting teams to start greasin' up their backsides.
Re:First and Last solution? (Score:5, Funny)
Or, it could be a great defense.
"Your honor, I didn't register as a member of a subversive group, therefore the purpose of my group could not have been to overthrow the government of the United States."
Re:First and Last solution? (Score:5, Funny)
As always with a radical problem one needs a radical solution: to periodically take back power through whatever means necessary.
Hey wait a second, did you just advocate rebellion against the government? If you live in South Carolina, you better get your paperwork in order.
Re:Too bad (Score:1, Funny)
Remember to register before you wear your "the south shall rise again" shirt :O
Re:Can I register from a distance? (Score:3, Funny)
Capone (Score:2, Funny)