IOC Claims Olympian Lindsey Vonn's Name As Intellectual Property 399
gehrehmee writes "As usual, the International Olympic Committee is coming down on hard on people mentioning things related to the Olympics without permission. This time it's UVEX sporting supplies, which sponsors Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn. Without explaination, their front page was today updated to include a tongue-in-cheek poem about UVEX's interaction with the IOC. Can the IOC really claim an Olypmian's name as their own intellectual property?"
In a related story... (Score:4, Funny)
The IOC has claimed the term 'CANADA' as their exclusive intellectual property
Re:CANADA 4 THA GOLD (Score:2, Funny)
"I think you got an offtopic, troll, flamebait, and over-rated all in one go."
4 in one just like your mom last night
Re:In a related story... (Score:3, Funny)
It's a loose claim though, everyone is still allowed to use it, the just have to say it slowly, and write it out like this : C-A-A-N-A-D-A-A
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:2, Funny)
They're not claiming her name as their IP, through copyright or anything else. They've told this skeezy gear company that they can't start using an olympiad's name to sell their crappy products just because that olympiad happens to use their products.
They may make great ski gear... (Score:3, Funny)
...but they sure make lousy poetry.
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:3, Funny)
Sorry, but you just gave me this image of the judge telling the IOC lawyers, "I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!"
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:3, Funny)
I wonder when Adobe will pull a Google and protect their name by claiming Photoshop is not a verb (and therefore not an everyday term that might fall outside of copyright law). Or perhaps they'll just enjoy the fact (monetarily speaking) that people aren't saying, "Yah. That chick is gimped. You can see the floating pixels..."
Re:It depends... (Score:4, Funny)
Extremely viscous.
Not much chance of you slipping through the cracks at all.
Re:It depends... (Score:4, Funny)
I'm guessing you meant "vicious." Unless you're claiming that the Olympics have a high internal friction which resists deformation through shear or extensional stresses.
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:5, Funny)
Except possibly for the fact that the intersection of "People who purchase women's sporting gear" and "Slashdot readers" is going to be pretty close to a null set.
Re:It depends... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:2, Funny)
You jest, but given the last few years of IP cases, it's about time judges started using stronger phrasing when delivering their verdicts. Thus, I would have not problem with the following court exchange:
IP Lawyer: Your honor, it is blatantly obvious that the defendant's flagrant disregard for my client's rights under IP law is deserving of the highest punishment afforded by law, as it represents an egregious violation of the very foundation of our society.
Judge: Look here you cunt-faced anus head, get the fuck out of my court before I release the hounds. And don't be thinking I don't have hounds back here, I borrowed them from the groundskeeper at the country club. Oh, and don't forget to leave that stinking pile of neatly typed bullshit you call a legal brief behind, the lavatory is low on toilet paper.
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:3, Funny)
They can, if they make the olympians sign a contract.
[citation needed]
For the Beijing Olympics, Britain made their athletes sign a contract promising not to say anything political during the event.
Please explain to me how a contract between the IOC and an athlete can be legally binding on an unrelated third party.
Then after you do that, I will sign a contract with my neighbor stating that you owe me $1,000,000. Please send it to me via paypal.
No matter who wins... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:5, Funny)
Dangerous indeed.
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:4, Funny)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympiad [wikipedia.org]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympian [wikipedia.org]
Yes, this time every 2 years is very stressful for me.
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:3, Funny)
I'm waiting for Quentin Tarantino to come out with "Pulpier Fiction Vol. II", where he'll have some other pervert unchain a sexual deviant who he keeps bound and locked in a storage trunk, and we all discover that the deviant runs a 1-hour-photo place named Photo-Shop.
Then GIMP won't seem so bad.
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:3, Funny)
Re:IOC is barking up the wrong tree (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:5, Funny)
I think I would just start using the phrases they claim to "own" much more often. Maybe even in court, if it makes it that far, ending everything with one of their phrases.
Judge: "This claim is not only frivolous, it is devious, unethical, unprincipled, and I even dare say sociopathic!!"
IP Lawyer: "Your honor, I object!!"
Judge: "On what grounds?"
IP Lawyer: "On the grounds that we claim ownership of "devious", "unethical", "unprincipled" and "sociopathic". And not just the words under copyright, but we also claim patents as business processes, and the practice of being "devious", "unethical", "unprincipled" and/or "sociopathic" under trade secret protection."
Judge: "sigh....I really didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice...I hereby declare martial law!! Bailiff, shoot that piece of shit in the face!!"
Bailiff: "Gladly."
Bailiff's Gun: BLAM!!!
IP Lawyer: THUD!!
Judge: "Martial law rescinded. Call in the janitor. Next case..."
...and they all lived happily ever after. The End
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:3, Funny)
I hope whomever it is has a lawyer who will rip their head off and shit in their neck.
Isn't that how they get more lawyers, though? That would seem to be counterproductive.
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:5, Funny)
Wait, does this mean that you found the rest of the scenario to be realistic?
Re:IOC is barking up the wrong tree (Score:1, Funny)
Owning her name would be tantamount to owning her period.
I'd heard that many women who exercise that much no longer have periods. Though why anyone would want to own one is beyond me...
Re:Sure they can claim it (Score:3, Funny)
If he had mentioned that the IP Lawyer was wearing a red shirt, nobody on this site would have thought twice about his unrealistic demise.