Amazon Reviewers Take on the Classics

Not everyone is a fan of great literature. In particular, reviewers on Amazon can be quite critical of some of the best loved classics. Jeanette DeMain takes a look at some of the most hated famous books according to some short tempered reviewers. One of my favorites is the review of Charlotte's Web which reads in part, "Absolutely pointless book to read. I felt no feelings towards any of the characters. I really didn't care that Wilbur won first prize. And how in the world does a pig and a spider become friends? It's beyond me. The back of a cereal box has more excitement than this book. I was forced to read it at least five times and have found it grueling. Even as a child I found the plot very far-fetched. It is because of this horrid book that I eat sausage every morning and tell my dad to kill every spider I see ..."

Naked Lunch

[Anonymous Coward]

I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.

Greatest Opening to a book review ever:

[quantumplacet]

"A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith:

        This book is 3 words over and over again: MY LIFE IS BAD.

Re:Greatest Opening to a book review ever:

[WrongSizeGlass]

"A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith:

This book is 3 words over and over again: MY LIFE IS BAD.

I'm assuming you started counting at 'zero'. Once again the halo effect of arrays haunts our daily lives.

Re:Diary of Anne Frank

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually, I remember as a kid writing a particularly scathing review of the Diary of Anne Frank in English class (no Amazon back then). No, I'm not proud of it. But honestly, I do stick by my assertion that it's a boring book to force a teenage boy to read.

Perhaps the teacher should have assigned you a picture book to review instead.

Classic does not equal exciting

[Drakkenmensch]

Innovation is not always the same as entertainment. I had to read Madame Bovary as a college student, and while it is considered both a classic and an example of the great novels of its time, it has all the excitement and interest of being fed a heaping bowl of broken glass, one tiny spoonful at a time.

LOTR

[CompressedAir]

Why does it take three books for some guys to walk to a volcano?!?

Re:Bible review?

[eddy the lip]

Bigger point - I'm not sure that some people realize when they're reading a classic that they may actually be reading something that SEEMS derivative, but may have been pretty innovative for its day.

It entertained me that the review for "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" had this to say:

"It's exactly the same as any other book about a poor family with an irresponsible father and a child who manages to be alright..."

Followed by a list of three books that were written later.

Re:LOTR

[ColdWetDog]

Why does it take three books for some guys to walk to a volcano?!?

Because they are vertically challenged, you insensitive clod. They don't walk very fast.

Re:Classic does not equal exciting

[glwtta]

it has all the excitement and interest of being fed a heaping bowl of broken glass, one tiny spoonful at a time

Not to nitpick, but that sounds like it would be fairly exciting. It certainly wouldn't be pleasant, but I doubt you'd be bored during that procedure.

Re:LOTR

[Shivetya]

The same reason it will take three or more attempts to get the Extended version out on Blu-Ray

Because there is money in it.

Re:Bible review?

[PitaBred]

One man's "bad joke" is another man's "epic troll!" Rarely is making fun of The Holy Bible inappropriate, and in this case, it was hilarious.

There, fixed that for you

5 times? WTF

[Tablizer]

"I was forced to read it at least five times and have found it grueling."

Reviews by somebody who failed the same class four times are probably suspect.

Re:LOTR

[ElectricTurtle]

If I had overheard that, they would have turned to find out what the loud smacking sound was... I probably would have facepalmed hard enough to leave a mark. And I don't even like LOTR.

Re:Judging Art Is A Fool's Game

[bhagwad]

You can examine, for example: skill and technique, fulfillment of author's intent, uniqueness, meaning, and beauty.

Citizen Kane fulfills all of these criteria (except for beauty) and it's still a crappy movie.

Re:Diary of Anne Frank

[dbet]

It's okay, she doesn't want you reading it anyway [theonion.com].

Re:Bible review?

[retchdog]

I remember when I was looking for a Bible, the reviews were invaluable. In particular the one for the Oxford World Classics edition which described it as a satanic trap placed by the world's secular elitist intellectuals, and to be avoided by all true Christians at all costs. That pretty much clinched it for me and I've been quite satisfied with my purchase. :-)