The US Continues Its Reign As King of Spam 118
An anonymous reader writes "The United States continues its reign as the king of spam, relaying more than 13% of global spam, accounting for hundreds of millions of junk messages every day, according to a report by Sophos. However, most dramatically, China – often blamed for cybercrime by other countries – has disappeared from the 'dirty dozen,' coming in at 15th place with responsibility for relaying just 1.9% of the world's spam."
We're Number One !!!! (Score:4, Funny)
We're number one !!!!
U.S.A. !!!
King of Spam (Score:5, Funny)
I sent 2 terabytes of mail today
(Sold my soul right there)
It's the same old thing as yesterday
(Sold my soul right there)
I'm a black hat burning out a thousand bots
(Sold my soul right there)
Filtering's futile and I won't get caught....
chorus
They have blocked all your torrents, you can't even ping
They've been shaping your traffic into doughnut rings
But still they can't stop me 'cause of what I am
For now and forever I'm the King of Spa-am
King of Spam
I'll always be
King of Spam....
...With apologies to the Police.
Re:We're Number One !!!! (Score:5, Funny)
I am Liz Cheney duaghter of recenly deposed USA vice President Dick Cheney and I am seking your assitsance with confidential transaction. As you may know my father during his time in office amassed a firtune of $135,000,000 (one hundered thirty five million USA dollars) and I now need your assistantse to move it out of country. As a bionus for your help on this Transaction I can offer you "magic blue pills" guaranteed made in USA to enlarge your penis to massive unheard of USA propportions and also 1000s of young marriagebale USA women seeking to meet you for life in new country. Please contact me at +001 212 867-5309 or conact USA embassy in your Country.
With apologies to Weird Al Yankovic (Score:5, Funny)
It's all all 30% off from yesterday.
There's laetrile, nona juice, and ephedrine for speed.
Just a Visa or Paypal creds are all you need.
My partner's in jail, my staff is on the lam.
We've got botnets with petabytes of hijacked RAM.
And our ISP doesn't give a tinker's dam,
'Cause of our reputation as the King of spam.
Don't miss out on our giant online porno sale.
(Is my scam out there?)
We told Grandma she opted in for our e-mail.
(Is my scam out there?)
We got lawyers to help preserve our corporate veil.
(Is my scam out there?)
We got bullshit and horseshit, we've got tons of fail.
(Is my scam out there?)
No doctor will want a medical exam,
Our chiropractor's part of the insurance scam,
Get some herbal viagra and become a man,
'Cos we're known in this world as the King of Spam.
If you're hawking Chinese knockoffs of Nike shoes, (Is your scam out there?)
Some 419 scams, offers they can't refuse, (Is your scam out there?)
With their credit card's keylogged, they can sing the blues, (Is your scam out there?)
We do fraud, we do larc'ny, anything you choose. (Is your scam out there?)
Well, AOL shut down Spamford with a slam,
Alan Ralsky got nailed bigtime by from Uncle Sam,
But the flood's even bigger than the Hoover Dam,
'Cause we're known the world over as the King of spam.
King of spam.
King of spam.
King of spam.
We'll always be King of spam.
We'll always be King of spam...
- With apologies to Weird Al Yankovic, and of course, The Police :)
Re:We're Number One !!!! (Score:4, Funny)
As a bionus for your help on this Transaction I can offer you "magic blue pills" guaranteed made in USA to enlarge your penis to massive unheard of USA propportions
I nearly fell for this, but a deal genuinely this good wouldn't have been offered to every reader. Generally, I only respond to offers with a fair amount of built-in exclusivity, such as when I happen to be the 1,000,000th visitor to a site.
Re:Less spam on the weekend (Score:4, Funny)
Me too. I recently got an email with a subject "JAMES URGENT HELP REQUIRED FIRST THING TOMORROW. SHIPMENT NO 40" and it was only because I thought "hmm... I don't normally get spam at this hour" that I read it to find that it was actually a legitimate email. An all caps subject with 'URGENT HELP REQUIRED' in it is almost always spam.
Re:Less spam on the weekend (Score:4, Funny)
Woman to husband: "Please turn off the light so I can sleep."
World to USA: "Please turn off the computers on the weekend so we can get to work."
Re:FYI: A note on capitalizing SPAM... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Less spam on the weekend (Score:3, Funny)