RIAA Says LimeWire Owes $1.5 Trillion

An anonymous reader writes "LimeWire owes the major record labels one point five trillion dollars, at a conservative estimate. At least, that's what an RIAA lawyer says. He also wants LimeWire shut down and its assets frozen, says Ray Beckerman's Recording Industry vs The People blog."

1.5 Trillion?!

[jpedlow]

And I used to say MY lawyer was expensive.....

Deficit reduction!

[siglercm]

Good! Now the U.S. Gov't. needs to seize RIAA. That'll take a sizable chunk out of our $13+ trillion deficit!

HAHAHAHAHA

[kidgenius]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Wow.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA And they expect to get this money how? Are there any corporations around that even have a market cap above a trillion? They might as well ask for a BAJILLION!

Re:Deficit reduction!

[Captain Splendid]

What world do you live in? Obviously they're Too Big To Fail, and need to be bailed out to the tune of 1.5 trillion.

In other news...

[Lemental]

I am submitting a bill for 500 million to McDonalds, Phillip Morris and Jack Daniels for turning me into a Fat Alcoholic who smokes.

Respond appropriately

[pembo13]

The appropriate response to such a statement is a delivery of mint Monopoly® bills to the sum of 1.5 trillion.

Re:In other news...

[mcgrew]

Freddie? Is that you? [wikipedia.org]

Re:Deficit reduction!

[Jurily]

That'll take a sizable chunk out of our $13+ trillion deficit!

Meh. According to the RIAA, my hard drive is valued over $500 million, but I still have to work for a living.

Btw, anyone wanna buy a hard drive?

Re:1.5 Trillion?!

[sopssa]

It's not punishment. It's what they've calculated as the damage you've caused (allowing other users to obtain free copies from you). Now you might not agree with the $750 per song, but if you do something illegally you should pay the base price and also extra for the damages and trouble you've caused.

Re:Let's do the math here

[schon]

Well *obviously* they only made $50B/year because Limewire is stealing all their income! So if Limewire hadn't existed, they would have made every penny of that $1.5 Trillion. And don't try telling me that it's absurd that they would be owed 10% of the entire US GDP. GDP is only a measure of economic output, so obviously if Limewire hadn't stolen all that money, and it had gone to EMI instead, the GDP would have been $1.5 Trillion more than it was!

And since it's known that EMI's revenue is a tiny fraction of the US's GDP, we can only conclude that the GDP would have been several thousands of times higher than it was.

Conclusion: LIMEWIRE IS STEALING TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS FROM THE USA EVERY YEAR!!!!!

Re:Comparing the damages.

[bb5ch39t]

NO, NO, NO. BP does not owe anybody anything. The residents of the states owe BP for the oil that their land is illegally impeding from being delivered to Europe via a non standard shipping method!

Re:Deficit reduction!

[Captain Splendid]

See, there you go using logic. Don't do that. It makes the politicians and the businessmen afraid.

Hey RIAA!!!

[Progman3K]

I'LL pay your 1.5 trillion...
But first, you need to wire me some transfer money so I can send you the 1.5 trillion.
Wire me 2 million and it should be OK.
Then I will send you your winnings, I mean money.
Thanks

Re:Deficit reduction!

[Anonymous Coward]

You don't seem to understand economics. Individuals with their "civil rights" are worms, while corporations Too Big to Fail are emerging butterflies, ready to spread their wings and soar. The socialists like you who want to regulate companies are like a giant jackboot on a time traveller ready to squash the butterflies and end all hope for the future, and equally ready to trod underfoot the worms wallowing in their commie dirt like "health care" and "education." It's only the Republitarian Tea Party who wants to save our delicate butterflies from the vicious violations perpetrated upon them by the worms and the boots and the dirty Huns and REMEMBER THE ALAMO.

The economy is like a car: regulation is like how the engine keeps the gasoline exploding in the engine in tiny, controlled bursts that propels the whole car forward, so if you pour enough additives like nitroglycerin into the tank—that is, if you water the tree of liberty—you can liberate those propulsive explosions from the engine's control and blow the whole car up, which will make its individual pieces—individuals and individual responsibility and individual liberty—go much, much faster as the careen flaming across space.

Re:Not making shit up

[Anonymous Coward]

Any chance they can say "If you are suing me for $1.5T, then, smart people that you are MUST be right, we are going to take that $1.5T (that you say we have) and buy your companies. Thanks! Oh, by the way, you are all fired."

RIAA?

[Sarcileptic]

RIAA is an acronym designed to allow these companies to harm people anonymously. Can't we come up with a better acronym from the 'big 4': EMI, Sony, Universal, and Warner? How about: WSUE - all lawsuit radio

Re:1.5 Trillion?! huh

[AltairDusk]

Perhaps we'll get lucky and it will turn out they feed on record executives...

Re:1.5 Trillion?! huh

[Shakrai]

I wonder if, in the entire history of the music industry, if they have taken in that much.

They would have if it wasn't for the evil tape recorder/cd-burner/napster/p2p users. The record industry would have made trillions of dollars but for that technology and the taxes on their earnings would have paid off the national debt three times over by now.

Re:1.5 Trillion?! huh

[interkin3tic]

That value seems out of range, considering that you could finance two wars, clean up the BP spill and probably have enough left over to coat New Orleans in gold leaf...

That's their goal, it was going to be a nice surprise for the rest of us, but now you've kind of ruined it...

Re:1.5 Trillion?!

[Jurily]

That's ~$7.5M.

The other one trillion four hundred ninety-nine billion nine hundred ninety-two million five hundred thousand is for lawyer's fees.

Re:1.5 Trillion?!

[idontgno]

Dilbert on the subject of budgeting [dilbert.com]

Re:In case anybody still took them seriously...

[bcmm]

Yeah, you're having a pretty bad Monday, given that it wasn't Monday in any time zone when you posted that. Oversleep?

Re:That's 10% of the US GDP

[AndersOSU]

It's way more than the reparations paid out to holocaust survivors, even after inflation.

Nice.

New headline. "RIAA claims piracy more damaging than holocaust."

Re:1.5 Trillion?!

[AtomicJake]

The RIAA claims that if it wasn't for those meddling Limewire, they'd made more money than the entire population and industry of Canada in a year.

OK. Let's blame Canada.

Re:1.5 Trillion?!

[usrbinallen]

Here's another calculation: 200,000,000 x $150,000 = $3 x 10^13 This is the max they can go for. What's holding them back? Scientific notation?

Re:HAHAHAHAHA

[Anonymous Coward]

Sadly, we are fresh out of Iranian Reals. Can we interest you in some 1924 Marks?

Re:We've been laughing at you for years...

[ctsupafly]

It just gets scary when our leaders import daft ideas they hear from your idiots, so please keep them quiet. Our politicians keep on copying them and try to better them. Please don't give our politicians any more ideas.

Hello, I represent the BCAA (Batshit Crazy Americans Association) and understand that you are in violation of several of our copyrights...

Re:We've been laughing at you for years...

[ExE122]

Yeah, we should be more like the British! They don't ever come up with any silly legal ideas like us Yanks do! Oh, except the following:

• Under the reign of Elizabeth I, any person found guilty of "harboring a Catholic priest" would be tortured or even hanged. Any priest of the Catholic faith that was caught would be hanged, drawn, and quartered.
• With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.
• All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy. Explanation: This law dates from the middle ages when there was no standing army, so in times of war each gentry was required to produce a quota (depending on its size) of knights, archers, infantry, etc. As the church was the only centralized instrument of bureauacracy (the lords were independent for the most part), they were used for such tasks.
• London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats. Explanation: The London Hackney Carriage Laws covers hackneys in other towns too and have remained unaltered for over 100 years. Firms have been known to manufacture very small bales of hay to carry in a taxi during disputes during local councils (who license the hackneys everywhere except London). Also the vehicle has to be tethered at a taxi rank, and the council have to supply a water trough at said ranks (that could be fun on a Saturday night!). The one about urinating against the back wheel is a Hackney Carriage Law too, and has also been done, on mass, during taxi/council disputes (allegedly).
• The severest Penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House (enacted by George I).
• It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).
• It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person. Explanation: Introduced to outlaw "molly houses" which began to appear in the big cities of England in the late 16th Century. In these bordellos, homosexuals engaged in sex, sado
• masochism, transvestitism etc., and they were perceived as a threat to public morality, and so outlawed.
• Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).
• It is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks (enacted by Edward VI).
• Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated. Explanation: Chelsea Pensioners are entitled to enhanced state benefits and subsidized accommodation, so pretending to be one is simply fraud!
• A bed may not be hung out of a window.
• It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
• Mince pies can not be eaten on Christmas day. Explanation: Ingredients of mince pies and plum puddings were pagan in origin, and their consumption part of ancient fertility rituals. The law dates from the Puritan era, the same time that dancing in church, maypoles, and holly and ivy decorations were outlawed. The laws were never officially repealed because upon the restoration of the monarchy, (in the form of Charles II) all laws formed under the protectorate were ignored as invalid.
• Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin.
• It is illegal to leave baggage unattended. Explanation: Many terrorists in the UK favor the practice of placing a bomb in a bag, then leaving the bag to explode later. Since this became a real threat, this law was passed to deter the crime and prosecute those who commit it.
• Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism. See above.
• It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour. Explanation: The law dates from the renegotiation of royal/political power on the accession of Charles II, designed to stop the MPs storming the house if it makes a decision they disapprove of. The Monarch is not allowed to enter

Re:1.5 Trillion?!

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, we pay a tax, on all recordable media, to them already

Stop. Talking. Like. Shatner. People. Will. Believe. We. All. Talk. That. Way.

Re:1.5 Trillion?! huh

[Anonymous Coward]

and of course this will lead to limewire proposing a new final solution.

Re:Deficit reduction!

[TooMuchToDo]

Will you take movies in trade? I'll swear on their value! Perhaps we can get the MPAA to appraise them =)