Power Failure Shuts Down 50 US Nuclear Missiles 338
Pickens writes "The Atlantic reports that a power failure at F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Wyoming took 50 nuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs), one-ninth of the US missile stockpile, temporarily offline on Saturday. The 90th Missile Wing, headquartered there, controls 150 Minuteman IIIs. According to people briefed on what happened, a squadron of ICBMs suddenly dropped down into what's known as 'LF Down' status, meaning that the missileers in their bunkers could no longer communicate with the missiles themselves. LF Down status also means that various security protocols built into the missile delivery system, like intrusion alarms and warhead separation alarms, were offline. The cause of the failure remains unknown, although it is suspected to be a breach of underground cables deep beneath the base, according to a senior military official."
All your base (Score:5, Funny)
Oh god! Not 50 nuclear missiles! (Score:4, Funny)
Cause of the failure? (Score:1, Funny)
In other news, the Underminer was heard telling other evildoers at a sleazy subterranean bar that "The test run has been a total success" and "Soon, I shall be more notorious than Kim Jong Il."
His claim was immediately disputed by five carnivorous giant rats. At press time, it was not quite clear who had survived the ensuing bar fight (our photographer, sadly, had not).
Re:Oh god! Not 50 nuclear missiles! (Score:5, Funny)
(Why does Wikipedia have an article on the stupid band, anyway? *grumble grumble deletionist nazi sentiments go here, grumble*)
Re:This is just embarrassing. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:This is just embarrassing. (Score:3, Funny)
"Gore, I don't care about the penguins. Order the damned launch."
Re:This is just embarrassing. (Score:4, Funny)
But-- but-- what about the Mine Shaft Gap?
The mine collapsed a few weeks ago. It was in the news.
Re:ip addess (Score:3, Funny)
Do the nukes each have an ip address? what happens if I do a port scan? (besides having several 3 letter agencies show up and get a room at Gitmo?
A room at Gitmo isn't enough? What, you want to actually launch something? Greedy bastard.
Re:This is just embarrassing. (Score:4, Funny)
Well perhaps you're forgetting the provisions of plan R, sir.
Plan R?
Plan R is an emergency war plan in which a lower echelon commander may order nuclear retaliation after a sneak attack if the normal chain of command is disrupted. You approved it, sir. You must remember. Surely you must recall, sir, when Senator Buford made that big hassle about our deterrent lacking credibility. The idea was for plan R to be a sort of retaliatory safeguard.
A safeguard.
I admit the human element seems to have failed us here. But the idea was to discourage the Russkies from any hope that they could knock out Washington, and yourself, sir, as part of a general sneak attack, and escape retaliation because of lack of proper command and control.
Underground cable breach? (Score:3, Funny)
"The cause of the failure remains unknown, although it is suspected to be a breach of underground cables deep beneath the base, according to a senior military official."
Mole People working for Al Qaeda! How else can this act of sabotage be explained?
Re:Update to the story (Score:3, Funny)
Just a little test run of Israel's NEW version of the Stuxnet.
But I'm (almost) sure that Israel will ALLOW the US to launch a couple missiles when the time comes.
Maybe.
Re:Update to the story (Score:3, Funny)
This sounds an awful lot like a "swamp gas and reflections from Saturn" explanation.
Re:Oh god! Not 50 nuclear missiles! (Score:2, Funny)
400 nuclear missiles ought to be enough for anyone.
why is this on the news? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Oh god! Not 50 nuclear missiles! (Score:3, Funny)
To be fair, the far more frightening thing is that someone can take out a base full of nuclear missiles with a backhoe and a bottle of Jager.
Now we know what those Chilean miners were really up to.
Re:This is just embarrassing. (Score:1, Funny)
Minecraft is educating our citizens wrt the benefits of living underground as we speak!