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CIA Launches WTF To Investigate Wikileaks 402

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the that's-just-adorable dept.
krou writes "In an effort to investigate the impact of the leaked diplomatic cables, the CIA have launched the Wikileaks Task Force, commonly referred to at CIA headquarters as 'WTF.' 'The Washington Post said the panel was being led by the CIA's counter-intelligence centre, although it has drawn in two dozen members from departments across the agency.' Although the agency has not seen much of its own information leaked in the cables, some revelations (such as spying at the UN) originated from direct requests by the CIA. The Guardian notes that, 'WTF is more commonly associated with the Facebook and Twitter profiles of teenagers than secret agency committees. Given that its expanded version is usually an expression of extreme disbelief, perhaps the term is apt for the CIA's investigation.'"
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CIA Launches WTF To Investigate Wikileaks

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  • by devxo (1963088) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @09:55AM (#34640450)
    Personally I'm waiting for CIA to also launch an task force called NWO, just to have some fun with conspiracy theories.
  • by The Creator (4611) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @09:58AM (#34640470) Homepage Journal

    "CIA's counter-intelligence centre"

    I can't decide if this is redundant or an oxymoron.

    • by by (1706743) (1706744) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:24AM (#34640712)

      "CIA's counter-intelligence centre"

      I can't decide if this is redundant or an oxymoron.

      You know, intelligence about marble top counters, hardwood counters, laminate counters, etc.

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward

      It's practically a palindrome. Let's call it "anti-intelligence" and refer to it as CIAAIC.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by operagost (62405)
      You mean the Central Intelligence Agency's Counter Intelligence Center? I hear they're snooping your NIC card and reading your PIN number when you enter it at an ATM machine.
      • by corbettw (214229)

        Yo dawg, I hurd you like intelligence, so I put an intelligence in your intelligence so you can spy when you spy.

    • "CIA's counter-intelligence centre"

      I can't decide if this is redundant or an oxymoron.

      Nah, this is more in the same vain as "Intelligent Design". It is about CIA being against intelligence.

      • by drinkypoo (153816)

        Nah, this is more in the same vain as "Intelligent Design". It is about CIA being against intelligence.

        I took the lord's name in vein today and now I can't come down off of this cloud.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @09:58AM (#34640478)

    Welcome To Facebook, of course!

  • WTF? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by mcvos (645701) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @09:59AM (#34640490)

    But seriously, this sounds like a much more sensible approach than many other US responses we've seen so far.

  • Idiots (Score:4, Insightful)

    by santax (1541065) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:01AM (#34640512)
    First they give 3 million people access to this information and then they complain at a guy that has nothing to do with it. Given the way the US threats people I am sure that the poor soldier who has been in isolation for months has gotten 'an offer he can't refuse' to sign a fake testimony against Assange. The weirdest part about this all is that half the population seems to believe the threat of terrorism is coming from some Muslims living in the desert. Totally blind for the real terrorism we face everyday, put in place by the so called government. Don't believe? Start a blog, become a journalist or try to get on an airplane without having some dick take a look at your dick, or even worse, your 5-y/o dick. Terrorism from Muslims can be a threat, however, the only terrorism I actually witness everyday is from white guys in suits.
  • by OzPeter (195038) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:02AM (#34640516)
    Will there also be a website where you can get Daily WTF updates? This could be interesting. Add some crappy user commenting software are you are all set for a fun time.
  • Well... (Score:5, Funny)

    by d3vpsaux (587601) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:09AM (#34640582)

    I'm waiting for Operation OMGWTFBBQ myself... Oh My, Government Wikileaks Task Force Better Be Quick!

  • by Chrisq (894406) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:35AM (#34640818)
    I could make some more suggestions:

    GBT - Google Background Task-force (to look into the background data from wifi snooping)

    WANK - Wide Area Network Keeper (protect infrastructure from DDOS)

    SHIT - Secure Homeland IT (initiative against cyber warfare)

  • by Charliemopps (1157495) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:37AM (#34640838)
    If the group can't even decode the Acronym WTF, I have serious reservations about their ability to counter the efforts of the global geek community out to get them.

    "Ok 4chan, we were going to use 256-bit AES to transmit our instructions but it has recently come to our attention that if we simply use an encrytion schema called "Leetspeak" the CIA will be completely mystified and far less likely to crack the code."

    ***3 months later***

    President Obama: "Our Military leaders and Intelligence officials have asked that I request help from the American people in our time of need. We are in desperate need of translators. Specifically in the Swedish ethic language of "LeetSpeak." The also asked me to say 'U will pwn n00b haxors" and said you'd know what that means."
    • Okay, just for 38 special seconds, assume they're not dense. This is that "security through crowd-cover" on the search engines. So what do they gain by co-opting one of the top-five acronyms?

      • Besides scorn and ridicule? Not much... They could have called it "operation Double Rainbow" and have been laughed at less. At least it would appear they were intentionally trying to be funny rather than completely misunderstanding the very subject matter they were trying to investigate.
  • by John Hasler (414242) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:42AM (#34640896) Homepage

    ...the CIA's opinion of the rest of the government's computer security procedures.

  • by AgentSmith (69695) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:46AM (#34640926)

    We fade in on a low lit smoky government war room.
    Many high ranking CIA operatives are seated around a circular table.

    Task force chairman: Gentlemen, we have our network completely set. Operatives are in place and the funding is acquired.
                                              All we need now is . . .a name.

    [CIA Director walks in]

    Director: Well Hey Howdy boys! What are we all up against this time?!

    Task force chairman: Director, we just learned about the release of numerous secret diplomat cables from a website called Wikileaks.

    Director: WHAT THE F@$K?!! NEOTHEONENSFWBBQ?!!

    Task for chairman: Hmmmm. . . WTF. W. . .T . . .F . . .That's it! Gentlemen, we have our name! Congratulations, Director!

    [Cheers go out. Scotch is poured and toasts are made.
    Screen fades to black.]

    [Fade in on Julian Assange sitting in a British pub. A CIA operative, a couple MI5 operatives with some British Bobbies come
    walking in the door.]

    MI5 Operative: Julian Assange?

    Julian: Yes?

    MI5: You are being held for extradition to Sweden under allegations of rape. Please come with us.

    Julian: WTF?!

    CIA Operative: [Takes off sunglasses] Exactly.

    [Fade to black. Cue Credits. Roll End Theme]

  • by Phoenix666 (184391) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:49AM (#34640970)

    before the American people hit the reset button on the country? The government is obviously completely out of control. We have the TSA fondling children and strip-searching innocent citizens who simply want to travel from point A to point B. We have a Congress and Whitehouse who simply can't be bothered to do anything to help the Middle Class, preferring instead to concentrate even more wealth and power in the hands of the ultra-rich, ultra-connected, unaccountable, and demonstrably incompetent (eg. tax breaks for the wealthy and net neutrality). And thanks to Wikileaks the illusion that the government knows what it's doing has been shattered.

    It's almost like those in power are betting each other they can screw the American people indefinitely, unapologetically, right in front of them and no one will do anything. And amazingly, the most heavily armed populace in the world is letting them get away with it.

    Is there no steel left in the American soul?

  • by British (51765) <british1500@gmail.com> on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @10:50AM (#34640982) Homepage Journal

    ..some old fogey is working at the CIA who is 100% out of touch with modern slang came up with this name. ..or.. ..someone at the CIA has a great sense of humor. ..or... ..some 4channer is an insider at the CIA and thought they would do this for the ultimate lulz. It's not unlike Fight Club where you find out members of Tyler's gang work everyday jobs and can secretly add things to your meal.

    • by Minwee (522556)

      It's not unlike Fight Club where you find out members of Tyler's gang work everyday jobs and can secretly add things to your meal.

      Ahhh... So THAT'S why the sign says "Warning: Food may have come into contact with nuts".

  • by loafula (1080631)
    lol!
  • The fine line.. (Score:2, Interesting)

    by countzerobah (1963018)
    People, is this really transparency? Or is this espionage? Frankly I think that all the wikileaks documents fall on the side of espionage. Allow me a minute to elaborate my position. The government, private industry, and even individuals. Have private things that they want to keep private. By law, everyone's privacy is protected. When documents that are supposed to be private are "stolen" that is espionage and theft. How would you guys like it if the content of your hard drives was stolen and then p
    • Re:The fine line.. (Score:5, Insightful)

      by BobMcD (601576) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @11:42AM (#34641624)

      Yes I understand that our government has to be transparent. There are however, methods to get information in the properway. Using the law, one can subpena the governemet, private industry, and individuals. Using legal ways information can be forced to be released.

      Except that this isn't actually true because there's no one to enforce these rules and laws. There's zero oversight. Consider the cases of Jessica Lynch and Pat Tillman. In the former case they attempted to make a young woman a war hero against her will. They fabricated a 'Rambo from West Virginia' story out of whole cloth, and tried to force her to go along with it. In the latter case they assassinated a dissenter before his scheduled visit with Noam Chomsky, falsified the coroner's report, burned his uniform and his diary, then lied to the family. In these two cases we had people on the inside telling us the truth and STILL the military lied about it. What of the myriad other situations where there's nobody brave enough to tell the truth?

      Maybe Wikileaks is not the answer, but someone needs to do something, so at least in this way I support them. Stop the lies, end the secrets. Let's move together into a new era of being decent human beings.

    • The government, private industry, and even individuals. Have private things that they want to keep private.

      The government is answerable to the people. Private industry is answerable to government. The people are supposed to (for the most part) be free and able to live their lives without interference or constant investigation. This is supposed to be the cornerstone of American ideas of liberty.

      By law, everyone's privacy is protected. When documents that are supposed to be private are "stolen" that is espionage and theft. How would you guys like it if the content of your hard drives was stolen and then posted on the internet? How would you like it if they did it under the guise of keeping you honest? I am sure all would agree that even under this "explanation" you would still feel like and have the rights under the law that information was stolen.

      We do not need to justify ourselves to the government. The government needs to justify itself to us.

      Yes I understand that our government has to be transparent. There are however, methods to get information in the properway. Using the law, one can subpena the governemet, private industry, and individuals. Using legal ways information can be forced to be released.

      The government then claims "state secrets" and you get no information. Meanwhile, the NSA and CIA are this very second hav

  • I'm just waiting until the WTF creates its sister agency, the Operational Management Governing Bureaucratic Branching Queue.
  • Am I missing something? I thought it was some other guy, not related to Wikileaks who stole the documents? Shouldn't that guy/security hole be the target of an investigation? What's there to investigate with Wikileaks? They publish leaked documents. There, end of mystery. *sigh*

  • Maybe the CIA used OpenBSD. Damn those FBI agents. Damn them, I say.

  • by Tom (822)

    I actually like this reaction a lot more than the others.

    Seems someone in the agency has had the guts to realize that the horse has left the barn, and instead of yet another attempt at closing the door, is trying to figure out what the damage is and how to react to it.

    That's a lot more sense than most politicians make these days.

  • So now, the CIA is inspecting Barn Doors after the horses have left and are running down mainstreet?

    Well, apparently we now know the gov's more concerned about their image then about actually treating people decently.

    Wikileaks is made to keep government's honest. No threat in that.

    But the American Government? They don't want to be honest, shit, they don't even want to do anything for the people of the USA.

    They rather the sheeple, i mean, people of the USA kept their heads in the sand, while they (the go

  • WTF? (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anne_Nonymous (313852) on Wednesday December 22, 2010 @11:42AM (#34641616) Homepage Journal

    They should have called it the Secrecy Task Force Unit.

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