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Vatican To Digitize Prohibited Archives 121

Posted by CmdrTaco
from the mary-was-totally-hot dept.
tiltowait writes "Hot on the heels of their successful iPhone app and drive-through confessional, the BBC News reports that the has announced plans to digitize their pornography collection and make it available online to subscribers. Given what the church has planned for the project's , here's hoping they learn lessons from the the New York Times paywall loopholes. Is anyone in on the Indulgentia beta?"
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Vatican To Digitize Prohibited Archives

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  • Nice try though!

    • OMG PONIES!

      Ok, I am leaving the interwebs now. See ya tomorrow.

    • There is an interesting point though. The Vatican does own some porn.

      1) They cannot destroy it because its historically valuable.
      2) They cannot sell it because it would not exactly be appropriate to profit from selling porn.

      Obviously serious scholars need access, which needs to be free (no taking money from porn), so the best solution would be to digitise it and release it for others to redistribute.

      • by v1 (525388)

        but If they're only making it available to paying customers, isn't that selling it?

        • Nah, that's selling access to it. It's sort of like "If you pay me $50/hour, I'll let you enter this room at my super-sleazy motel. Also, while in this room, feel free to take advantage of the complimentary prostitute."
      • I heard they have fantastic statues by old masters of girls with fingers in each other.

        It makes sense. Before TV and the printing press, the only way to create pornography was through artisans.

    • I've been here long enough to remember when there were a few clever bits thrown in amongst the snark here on April 1.

      But this... this... vatican porn... WTF? Tasteless AND Tedious, nice job. And a new low.

      Taco, you guys make enough money on this site now, howzaboutmaybe you consider hiring some professional comedy writers once a year to script this site on April 1. Consider it a little give-back.

      As it stands now, you're just driving readers away in hordes...

      • by danguyf (631016)
        Yeah, this one is really offensive.
        • Why?
          • They're catholic. It's only funny when it's someone else's religion.
            • Well...I was brought up Catholic (not any more!) and would see that as all the more reason to find it funny. The problem is, it's not really funny. Maybe that is why it is really offensive. I am offended by lame humour!
              • by danguyf (631016)
                Yeah. It's lame and a total cheap shot.
                • Hey, I have no problem with a humourous shot at the Vatican, or indeed the seat of any organized religion but when it's not funny...well, best not bother with it. Let's have some funny jokes. But thankfully April 1 is almost at an end and comedic efforts will now be resumed by people who are (supposed to be) better at it - and not on /. We can all breathe a sigh of relief and a good lungful of computer fan exhaust!
    • Yeah, they almost got me on this one.
  • Why today? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by skids (119237) on Friday April 01, 2011 @09:14AM (#35688182) Homepage

    Why did I have to get mod points today? Useless.

  • by vbraga (228124)

    Every year ./ seems to get worse. Even the Aprils Fools joke are getting worse. Unfortunately there's a lack of decent alternatives.

    • You should try this new website called /.

    • by _Sprocket_ (42527)

      I just loaded the page for my morning coffee crawl and realized the date. Like previous years, I'm going to ignore the fact that /. exists until the date rolls over. The joke is stale.

      On the flip side, there HAS been interesting April Fools pranks. This micro-editing has some appeal (I can't say why), OMG Ponies, and the time they coordinated with a slew of other geek culture sites to imply that there was some big, bad IP lawyering hitting everyone stand out. But in.... what.... 10 or so years of Apr

      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by nschubach (922175)

        It's one day to have fun. Relax.

        • by _Sprocket_ (42527)

          It's one day to have fun. Relax.

          Which is fine if it's fun. It's not.

          Point taken - I probably sound like a killjoy (which I take with a personal sense of irony). This is a day for /. to essentially shut down and I'll treat it as such (with the occasional check to see if this particular thread has garnered any interesting discussion :P).

    • by hairyfeet (841228)

      Yeah you'd think with so many greybeards around here they could come up with better, like their OMG Ponies they had a few years back. So in the interest of furthering the irritation that is April first, allow your old pal Hairyfeet to come up with some suggestions:

      Piss off your users day. Since that is what you do on this day anyway, why not embrace it? make every other link go to something like Badgerbadgerbadger or get on my horse, just to fuck with people. Hell if you are gonna piss them off anyway, do i

  • That would have been perfect this year, with the new MLP show. Oh, well.

  • Oh please! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Opportunist (166417) on Friday April 01, 2011 @09:22AM (#35688254)

    Won't someone PLEASE think of the child... erh...

    better not.

    • by xMrFishx (1956084)
      In Catholic Vatican, God thinks about children.
      • Effin' pedo!

        I knew there was something fishy when I read Matt 19:14 and Luke 18:16.

  • April Fools Day is supposed to be able to trick "fools". This would not fool even the most extreme unthinking Pat Robertson types out there.
  • by proslack (797189) on Friday April 01, 2011 @09:24AM (#35688276) Journal
    What will Dan Brown write about now?
  • by siliconbits (943161) on Friday April 01, 2011 @09:26AM (#35688290) Journal
    Just check the URL I s'ppose... Hope there's no link to Malware in there
    • by Xugumad (39311)

      This is what got to me. The BBC normally do a rather good joke for April Fool's, but apparently that wasn't enough, now we need fake articles from websites faking being other websites...

  • CmdrTaco let the users submit there own MadLibs .. er stories! We won't inject badly behaving scripts! Please, I'll do my homework and go to bed early.

  • Someone smart, not me I'm an idiot, needs to create a browser plugin that makes April Fool story's disappear
    • by xMrFishx (1956084)
      Come back tomorrow and I'll have one for you that will work for years between 2010 and 2012. Unfortunately you'll need to upgrade for next years. I'll probably have it out by the second, or maybe the third of the month.
  • This one's not even believable in the least bit. If you're going to do April Fools at least make me wonder if it's true or not.
  • See you tomorrow (Score:2, Insightful)

    by cultiv8 (1660093)
    Almost forgot, I don't read /. on April 1st.
  • Insanity! The internet is useless, I'm giving up on slacking off and resorting to actually working.
  • I wonder how many people will post today just for the Accomplishment

  • I'd like the original version to be real.
  • Let's get the "man on the street" report at the Vatican about this shocking news:

    A passer-by said this about Dan Brown, "Poor Dan is in a droop!" about this story
    Another passer-by said about the Pope's fan boys about this news, "Won't lovers revolt now?"
    I heard the Pope's cook said to the doctor, "Doc, note I dissent: a fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.
    The husband of Rowena, the Pope's fashion manager, said "A new order began, a more Roman age bred Rowena."
    A Swiss Guard exclaimed "Draw, O
  • I guess they didn't look too close at some of the sculptures and painting the Vatican commissioned over the years.

    Apple breasted Madonnas, naked cherubs, etc.

    I guess the difference between pr0n and art is a few hundred years.

  • The timestamp on TFA is March 31. Screwy CMS?
  • I love it. It's like a Vatican Fool's Day Mad Lib!

  • Ignore TFA -- the radiation levels around the Fukushima plant are nowhere near Chernobyl levels. This is now an effective rebuttal to any slashdot post or comment.

  • my apology for propagating a silly meme

  • Godwin's law applies, unless it's April 1st.
    Then people will state the obvious, thereby losing the discussion, way before Godwin's law can be applied.

  • Does nothing happen in the news on the first of April?
  • by Tolkien (664315)
    If this archive really existed it would be the one place that would definitively debunk Christianity as whole and in all its forms. Then of course, millions of people would voluntarily ignore anything that comes of it and life would go on unchanged, with people just as ignorant as before.
  • I've read somewhere that commenting on an April's fool story gives an achievement.

Klein bottle for rent -- inquire within.

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