Help Rename the Department of Homeland Security 382
Hugh Pickens writes "James Fallows writes tongue in cheek that U.S. Department of Fear, led by Secretary of Fear Malcolm P. Stag III, is running a poll. To what should we re-name the Department of Homeland Security? 'Possibilities include Department of ScaredyCatLand Security, reflecting the prevailing mentality of an era, and Department of Fatherland Security, to make us sound strong,' writes Fallows. 'There are many more to choose from, plus you can write in your own nominees. But act now, because the polls close Tuesday.'"
Department of (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Gender of countries (Score:5, Insightful)
I think Ministry of Peace [wikipedia.org] would also be appropriate.
Department of Security Theater (Score:5, Insightful)
Seems like the obvious choice.
Gestapo (Score:4, Insightful)
As a person whose uncle was sent to Siberia... (Score:5, Insightful)
I say we just be honest and call it "KGB-lite". Gestapo has too many letters and STASI just sounds too unpleasant.
Of course, over time, it will outgrow the "lite" part of the name. They all do.
DIRT (Score:4, Insightful)
Department of Rights Termination.
The Nightwatch (Score:5, Insightful)
Babylon 5 reference.
BTW, if you like sci-fi and haven't watched B5, you're missing a pretty good story.
Miniluv, Ministry of Love (Score:5, Insightful)
Rename the War on Terror (Score:5, Insightful)
Let's rename the war on terror to be more accurate too ...
Virtual strip-searches, ball-fondling [boingboing.net], never-ending but ineffectual id checks [nypost.com], forcing women to drink their own breast-milk [usatoday.com], arbitrary rule enforcement [hotair.com], making everyone go bare-foot, singling-out people by the clothes they wear [nydailynews.com], forcing people to remove nipple rings with pliers [rackjite.com], torturing injured flyers [podiatry.com], making people piss on themselves [msn.com], the list is practically endless.
And yet the TSA hasn't caught a single terrorist.
But they sure are doing a bang-up job of destroying human dignity. Therefore I say we rename the War on Terror to The War on Dignity.
Re:In the red. (Score:5, Insightful)
Why hasn't it happened then? Because there is no terrorist threat.
This. Times a million.
If terrorists wanted to attack the USA there's nothing stopping them. Everything they need can be bought inside US borders and there's no shortage of targets to choose from.
The TSA is a magic tiger-scaring stone. A very, very expensive tiger scaring stone. Not just in the money sense but in the freedom sense and the inalienable rights sense.
Re:Gestapo (Score:4, Insightful)
Back when Bush was still in charge I came up with...
George's Electronic Security Transportation and Papers Organization
Re:Here's one (Score:4, Insightful)
For anyone not familiar with this particular organization, shorten it to Stasi and think back to before the fall of the Berlin Wall. I like it.
Re:The Nightwatch (Score:4, Insightful)
It is actually pretty scary how Babylon 5 predicted the DHS. In fact, the DHS basically is very, very much like the Nightwatch was shown. Reduce the Stasi-like use of "Informal Agents", but apart from that, you really have it.
B5 ran 93 to 98, it only took half a decade where this horror-ministry was actually put into action.
(The author added the armbands on purpose so every stupid idiot would what the Nightwatch was about. DHS should probably start getting some... might I suggest the colours red, white and black?)
Re:In the red. (Score:5, Insightful)
One might also argue that the TSA is doing exactly what it was designed to do. By making all but the richest Americans (the ones who can afford private jets) go through these searches, they are gradually wearing down the public, conditioning them to accept regular intrusive searches and limitations on travel. This was one of the first things the Nazis did, too. It makes it harder for the peons to rise up and overthrow the government after they start doing the really bad stuff.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that sort of thinking is happening (at least consciously) in the halls of Congress. What I'm saying is that the purpose for those freedoms that the DHS is pissing all over is precisely to minimize the chances of the really bad stuff happening later. As Thomas Jefferson put it, "A government afraid of its citizens is a Democracy. Citizens afraid of government is tyranny!"
The more we tear down those freedoms, the closer we come to being another autocratic or oligarchic hellhole instead of a democracy. It is precisely for that reason that every true, patriotic American has a duty to defend the Constitution against these attacks in whatever way he or she can, and to resist any government actions that go against its spirit to the maximum extent allowable by law and, if need be, with acts of peaceful civil disobedience that are not allowable by law as well.
God bless the USA.