USPS Discriminates Against 'Atheist' Merchandise 1121
fish waffle writes "Suspecting that their strongly branded 'Atheist' products may be treated differently by more religiously-oriented postal regions, Kickstarter success Atheist Shoes conducted an experiment. They sent 178 packages to 89 people in different parts of the U.S., each person receiving one package prominently branded as 'Atheist' merchandise, and one not. The results: packages with the atheist label were nearly 10 times more likely to be 'lost,' and took on average 3 days longer to show up when they did. Control experiments were also done in Europe and Germany — it's definitely a USPS problem."
Now I know... (Score:1, Funny)
what to label the feces I mail. 3 extra shitty days in transit.
Maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe they are simply falling prey to Acts of God.
More testing required (Score:5, Funny)
Need to post some boxes that say 'contains god' and see if it gets there quicker than the control.
Re:Much ado about nothing. (Score:5, Funny)
Something with good enough QA that you do not need to pray it keeps working.
Atheist Shoes? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's awesome (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's awesome (Score:2, Funny)
Yeah, for a god who is apparently such a petty asshole he wants people's mail to be lost if they don't believe in him, but is too fucking lazy to do it himself.
Re:Sorry if I sound dumb (Score:3, Funny)
shoes cant believe in god silly, they have no soul
Re:Sorry if I sound dumb (Score:4, Funny)
If your shoes have no sole you need to return them ASAP for a refund.
Re:Much ado about nothing. (Score:5, Funny)
but these are shoes. they can go to either heaven or hell 'cause they've got soles.
Kudos to Red Dwarf.
Re:Atheist Shoes? (Score:4, Funny)
No they are made out of atheists. The crazy bible belt people got it all wrong.
Re:correlation (Score:2, Funny)
Better pizza.
Re:That's awesome (Score:3, Funny)
Just like Hitler, they went for the Poles first.
Re:moral luxury (Score:5, Funny)
Cast off the shoe, Follow the gourd!
Re:Maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
"Control experiments were done in Europe and Germany". In theory that removes the God factor,
God only lives in the US now.
Re:Sorry if I sound dumb (Score:4, Funny)
It's a sandal!
Re:Maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe God hates USPS.
Well everybody else does
Re:Much ado about nothing. (Score:5, Funny)
Lister: Sometimes, I think it's cruel giving machines a personality. My mate Petersen once bought a pair of shoes with Artificial Intelligence. 'Smart Shoes' they were called. It was a neat idea. No matter how blind drunk you were, they could always get you home. But he got rattled one night in Oslo and woke up the next morning in Burma. You see, his shoes got bored going from his local to his flat. They wanted to see the world, you know. He had a hell of a job getting rid of them. No matter who he sold them to, they'd show up again the next day. He tried to shut them out, but they just kicked the door down.
Rimmer: Is this true?
Lister: Yeah. The last thing I heard, they sort of... robbed a car and drove it into a canal. They couldn't steer, you see.
Rimmer: Really?
Lister: Yeah. Petersen was really, really blown away about it. He went to see a priest. The priest told him... he said it was alright and all that, when shoes are happy that they'd get into heaven. You see, it turns out shoes have 'soles'.
Rimmer: Ah, what a sad story. Wait a minute.
[Thinks for a minute]
Rimmer: How did they open the car door?
Re:correlation (Score:5, Funny)
In a universe sadly not our own, someone resembling Morgan Freeman appears behind those people and asks them to guess which commandment they're breaking.
Re:correlation (Score:5, Funny)
USPS is the United States Postal Service, i.e. the government corporation that pretends to deliver crap.
So then, don't taunt them by putting tape with the word Atheist on it...
UPS = United Parcel Service, i.e. those brown-shirted dudes who intentionally smash your package with hammers to make it fit in the truck.
So then, don't taunt them by putting tape with the word Fragile on it...
Re:Maybe it was the labelling (Score:5, Funny)
I think you missed the point of the story - USPS cross-checked the packages and finding no cross, discarded them.
Re: Maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
Why do I only have mod points on the weeks when there's nothing to Mod up?????
Re:Maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
why not? the people @ atheist shoes obviously believe in soles.
Re:Maybe... (Score:4, Funny)
*I've lived in rural Oklahoma for nearly seven years and I have never met more maladjusted, sexually-closeted weirdos in my entire life...
Maybe that's why they lived in *sparsely populated* rural Oklahoma? Every place has weirdos, just look at the high concentration on Slashdot.
Re:Maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
Extrapolating those two data points, I predict that in about 80 years or so, there will be zero christians born.
Re:Maybe... (Score:3, Funny)
Yes, you're absolutely correct - my deep abiding faith in the complete lack of god sees me through difficult times in my life. I often say a prayer to the void where god is not in the hope that the absence of god will look over me and my family.
Faith means not wanting to know what is true. - Friedrich Nietzsche
Re:Maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
However, everyone knows that rainbows are actually the poops from the pink invisible unicorns. That's more than enough evidence that they exist.
Re:Maybe... (Score:4, Funny)
I'm forced to conclude that you wouldn't know a "statistical sample" if it bit you on the behind.
Umm... Got some numbers to back that up :-)
Re:Maybe... (Score:5, Funny)
Here's the beginning part of the Wikipedia article about faith:
Faith is confidence or trust in a person or thing, or a deity or in the doctrines or teachings of a religion. It may also be belief that is not based on proof.
People seem to have a lot of faith in Wikipedia...