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Microsoft CFO Quits 295

Posted by timothy
from the extended-family-is-a-new-twist-on-the-old-lie dept.
McGruber writes "NBC News is reporting that Microsoft's Chief Financial Officer Peter Klein is leaving the company to spend time with his extended family, as Microsoft 'struggles with sharply declining personal computer sales and a lukewarm reception for its new Windows 8 operating system.' Klein is the latest in a line of top-level executives to leave the company, following Windows head Steven Sinofsky last November."
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Microsoft CFO Quits

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  • by Leejjon (2342476) on Monday April 22, 2013 @06:25AM (#43514033)
    Yeah they received more money from licensing Android patents than ever before!
  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 22, 2013 @07:28AM (#43514259)

    My company supplies office furniture to Microsoft - like chairs - and ...and ...and... Balmer is NOT the problem. No Sir!

  • by Nerdfest (867930) on Monday April 22, 2013 @07:41AM (#43514307)

    Yes, because if there's one thing Chinese companies respect, it's patents.

  • by VortexCortex (1117377) <`VortexCortex' ` ... -retrograde.com'> on Monday April 22, 2013 @07:53AM (#43514357) Homepage

    Have you ever SEEN Ballmer? I have talked to him in person once and have seen a talk (incoherent rant) by him once. He is the bigges problem they have at MS. They have others but he is by far the biggest. He has the same reality distortion field Jobs had, but it affects only him.

    Hmm, sounds like he's such an ass that instead of a distortion field he's become large and dense enough to collapse into a singularity.

    Interestingly, it seems something like Hawking radiation is occurring at the edge of the singularity's influence: The Chief Officers begin radiating away from the company's event horizon giving one reason to those on the outside, while the actual reasons for departure fall back inward toward the singularity.

    If only there were a name for such phenomena where you become so dense and toxic that no intelligible thoughts escape you and everything within your reach turns to crap -- Sort of like a social version of a blackhole... hmm. Any ideas?

  • by Talderas (1212466) on Monday April 22, 2013 @08:00AM (#43514379)

    If only there were a name for such phenomena where you become so dense and toxic that no intelligible thoughts escape you and everything within your reach turns to crap -- Sort of like a social version of a blackhole... hmm. Any ideas?

    Politician.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 22, 2013 @08:09AM (#43514403)

    I saw Ballmer in Nashville a few years back. Someone mentioned Windows Phone and its failing market share. His response was **crickets**. At that dev meeting, he did sign a laptop - a Macbook Pro that had Windows in a VM.

  • by gtall (79522) on Monday April 22, 2013 @08:29AM (#43514517)

    Nah, Ballmer's doing to MS exactly like some of us would like to do to MS. MS deserves Ballmer.

  • by MBGMorden (803437) on Monday April 22, 2013 @09:22AM (#43514809)

    Hmm, sounds like he's such an ass that instead of a distortion field he's become large and dense enough to collapse into a singularity.

    Interestingly, it seems something like Hawking radiation is occurring at the edge of the singularity's influence: The Chief Officers begin radiating away from the company's event horizon giving one reason to those on the outside, while the actual reasons for departure fall back inward toward the singularity.

    If only there were a name for such phenomena where you become so dense and toxic that no intelligible thoughts escape you and everything within your reach turns to crap -- Sort of like a social version of a blackhole... hmm. Any ideas?

    Ideas? Sure. First idea: you ran with the metaphor WAY too long ;).

  • by Ksevio (865461) on Monday April 22, 2013 @10:17AM (#43515181) Homepage

    Several years ago I worked for a company that reported record profits for 6 consecutive quarters. What happened? The stock price went down 25%..

    Definitely not hiring you if my stock is going to go down 25%

  • by CanEHdian (1098955) on Monday April 22, 2013 @11:04AM (#43515561)

    Bill Gates is Chairman of Microsoft's Board of Directors and Microsoft's largest stockholder

    The solution is obvious. Gates needs to retire. I, for one, would say that Steve Ballmer has "Chair-man" written all over him.

    Mark Zuckerberg should be hired as the new CEO. One new project will be Microsoft ofFACE - the ultimate social office experience.

    Peter changed his status to: "Going home sick (wink wink)"
    Janice added "Sales Forecast 2016" to PowerPoint Gallery
    John is writing: "Peter termination letter.docx".

Byte your tongue.

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