Former NSA Chief Warns Hackers Will Attack US If Snowden Is Captured 413
Okian Warrior writes "The Guardian is reporting Michael Hayden speculating that hackers and transparency groups are likely to respond with cyber-terror attacks if the United States government apprehends whistleblower Edward Snowden. Hayden called the potential attackers 'Nihilists, anarchists, activists, Lulzsec, Anonymous, twentysomethings who haven't talked to the opposite sex in five or six years.'"
Old Married people? (Score:5, Funny)
Nihilists? (Score:5, Funny)
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
Meanwhile (Score:5, Funny)
This claim was made by a fossilised old fart who hasn't managed to get a rise out of his dick for thirty years and has decided to take it out on everyone else who isn't having a problem satisfying themselves and their partners sexually.
If Hayden hadn't been spending the last 20 years trying to fuck over the entire country en-masse, he'd still be able to get a hard-on for normal sexual thoughts about individual people.
Out of touch with reality (Score:5, Funny)
In other news: crotchety old man demands kids get off his damn lawn.
Hours of ad hominem fun. (Score:4, Funny)
Mod Hayden -1 Troll.
Slashdot (Score:5, Funny)
'Nihilists, anarchists, activists, Lulzsec, Anonymous, twentysomethings who haven't talked to the opposite sex in five or six years.'
Well, at least that excludes Slashdot. Slashdot is filled with thirtysomethings who haven't talked to the opposite sex in fifteen or sixteen years.
In advance of possible cyber attacks, (Score:5, Funny)
In other words, (Score:5, Funny)
In this day and age, the mighty United States of America has been reduced to feeling "terror" from "twentysomethings who haven't talked to the opposite sex in five or six years."
Wasn't that a standup joke 20 years ago?
Twentysomethings who haven't... (Score:3, Funny)
This country is terribly plagued with such a reprehrensible menace. The only solution is to mandate a free girlfriend to every twentysomething, to avoid their fall into tyranny and hackery. It will be a burden for us all, but I think we on Slashdot can manage.
Re:Nihilists? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Meanwhile (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Old Married people? (Score:5, Funny)
Wife: My husband hasn't spoken to me in years.
Husband: I know you don't like me to interrupt you.
Re:Old Married people? (Score:5, Funny)
The joke is on Mr. Hayden. Calling upstairs for your mom to bring you dinner totally counts as talking to members of the opposite sex.
calling people gay (Score:5, Funny)
"who haven't talked to the opposite sex in five or six years.'"
Really? Is calling people it doesn't like gay really the governments new tactic?
Re:Out of touch with reality (Score:4, Funny)
Re:grain of truth? (Score:5, Funny)
yeah so everyone and anyone might attack USA if Snowden is captured and might attack if Snowden is not captured?
soo? more surveillance a cure?!? what the fuck is he making this statement for "we're acting kinda like dicks so we're likely to be attacked by dicks".
in other news AQAP has figured out a new way to terrorize american interests - all they need to do is write messages to each other that "we'll attack with 100 militants sometime next month, RIGHT?!". so the surveillance that is based on just electronics is geared up for a big fail, they can spin up an entire fantasy terrorism empire that they'll be monitoring using massive resources... just by sending skype messages to each other they can shutdown embassy activities in multiple countries for far longer than a bomb would have.
Re:OT: Dehydration Question (Score:5, Funny)
OK, I know this is kind of OT for this thread and has little to do with Snowden, but I was flipping through channels last night and ran across this movie where everyone was in a life raft. I don't know what movie it was, but it went on for a while with people in a life raft, and they were fighting off sun poisoning, sharks, and dehydration. They tried to create an evaporation still with some saran wrap and a cup and lick the condensed drops off, the bottom of the plastic, but it didn't work. Here's the thing- so they were completely dehydrated, but the two women with larger boobs seemed OK. Why do they never talk about drinking boob milk when they're out there on a life raft or in the desert with no water or whatever? Big boobs have to carry at least a few quarts of liquid.
I think we just found someone who hasn't talked to the opposite sex in five or six years.
Re:Meanwhile (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Meanwhile (Score:5, Funny)
All praise the NSA, benevolent defenders of freedom.
Sincerely,
Little Girl