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FBI: $10,000 Reward For Info On Anyone Who Points a Laser At an Aircraft 445

Posted by timothy
from the issue-sunglasses dept.
coondoggie writes "Here's a good idea: The FBI has launched a targeted, 60-day program that will offer up to a $10,000 for information leading to the arrest of anyone who intentionally aims a laser at an aircraft. The FBI said the laser-pointing scourge continues to grow at an alarming rate. Since the FBI and the Federal Aviation Administration began tracking laser strikes in 2005, there has been ridiculous 1,000% increase in the number of laser pointing/aircraft incidents. Last year, 3,960 laser strikes against aircraft were reported — an average of almost 11 incidents per day."
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FBI: $10,000 Reward For Info On Anyone Who Points a Laser At an Aircraft

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  • by K. S. Kyosuke (729550) on Tuesday February 11, 2014 @02:55PM (#46220079)

    1) Own a Cessna.

    2) Aim a laser at it in the safety of your hangar.

    3) ???

    4) Profit!!!

  • by Timothy Hartman (2905293) on Tuesday February 11, 2014 @03:00PM (#46220149)
    Macintosh obviously.
  • Simple (Score:4, Funny)

    by The Cat (19816) on Tuesday February 11, 2014 @03:08PM (#46220275)

    Felony prosecution. 25 years to life. No parole. Must register on the "laser pointing offenders" list. Driver's license suspended. Credit Score cut to one. Automatic bankruptcy. All assets forfeited. House fuel air bombed, bulldozed, soil salted and paved over with pig iron, rocks and low grade cement.

    Must stand on a chair and sing the "I AM A VERY BAD PERSON" song while applying for any job. Five million dollar fine paid in equal daily installments for 35 years. Not allowed to date, marry or smile at anyone.

    Must appear in at least five television commercials a year (at own expense) to announce "I am a poopy face" while dressed up like a cartoon airplane and being physically kicked in the ass by a sunglasses-wearing security officer with a blinking overlay of name and social security number.

    If not 18 yet, then the parents and grandparents are all prosecuted instead.

    And no laughing.

  • by BasilBrush (643681) on Tuesday February 11, 2014 @03:38PM (#46220801)

    Just issue the pilots with anti-laser glasses. They can choose for themselves when to filter and when not to.

  • Re:So..... (Score:5, Funny)

    by NFN_NLN (633283) on Tuesday February 11, 2014 @05:08PM (#46222041)

    1. Find "80-IQ drooling moron to point a laser at an aircraft"
    2. Give them a laser pointer
    3. Show them an airplane
    4. Profit ~ $10,000

    The 'murican dream.

  • Re:So.... (Score:3, Funny)

    by NFN_NLN (633283) on Tuesday February 11, 2014 @05:12PM (#46222099)

    "Shouldn't they be looking at a different solution here?"

    What's wrong with the old system. Tell people they will burn in eternal hell fire if they point a laser at aircraft.
    Either that or start a rumour about hairy palms.

    Anyone smart enough to know this is BS probably isn't the type to do it in the first place.
    Children and morons will be too scared to do it.

    And they say religion has no place in modern society.

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