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Smart Car Tipping Trending In San Francisco 371

Posted by timothy
from the siphoning-next-the-gas-from-this-tesla dept.
First time accepted submitter hackajar1 (1700328) writes "Is it a crime of opportunity or another page in the current chapter of Anti-Tech movement in San Francisco? Either way, the new crime trending in San Francisco invloves tipping Smart Cars on their side. While they only take 3 — 4 people to tip, this could just be kids simply having "fun" at the very expensive cost of car owners. Alternatively it could be part of a larger movement in San Francisco against anyone associated with HiTech, which is largely being blamed for neighborhood gentrification and rent spikes in recent years." This sounds like a story that would catch the ears of veteran reporter Roland Hedley.
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Smart Car Tipping Trending In San Francisco

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @12:34PM (#46695215)

    Hooper: For years in this industry, whenever an African American character, hero or villain, was introduced - usually by white artists and writers - they got slapped with racist names that singled them out as Negroes. Now, my book, "White-Hating Coon," don't have none of that bullshit. The hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's descended from the black tribe that established the first society on the planet, while all you European motherfuckers were hiding out in caves and shit, all terrified of the sun. He's a strong role model that a young black reader can look up to. Cause I'm here to tell you, the chickens is coming home to roost, y'all. The black man's no longer gonna play the minstrel in the realm of comics and sci-fi fantasy. We keepin it real, and we gonna get respect by any means necessary.

            Holden: Ah, come on, that's a bunch of horse shit! Lando Calrissian was a black guy. You know, and he got to fly the Millennium Falcon, what's the matter with you?

            Hooper: Who said that?

            Holden: I did! Lando Calrissian is a strong role-model in the realm of science fiction/fantasy.

            Hooper: Fuck Lando Calrissian! Uncle-Tom nigger! Some white boy's always gotta bring up the "Holy Trilogy". But those movies is all about how the white man keeps the brotha man down, even in a galaxy far far away. Check this shit. You got cracker farm boy, Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god!

            Banky: What's a "Nubian"?

            Hooper: Shut the fuck up! Now, Vader, he's a spirtiral brother, down with the Force and all that good shit. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a lightsaber and the boy decides he's gonna run the fucking universe; gets a whole klan of whites together and they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now, what the fuck do you call that?

            Banky: Intergalactic Civil War?

            Hooper: Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy quote, unquote, "safe for white folks." And Jedi is the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!

            Banky: Well isn't that true?

  • by LordLimecat (1103839) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @12:37PM (#46695251)

    If it were Tesla Motors, the NHTSA would be starting an investigation.

  • by Control-Z (321144) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @12:48PM (#46695391)

    36MPG is not good gas mileage, especially for a tiny car like that. I think that's what is bothering the vandals.

  • by O('_')O_Bush (1162487) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @12:50PM (#46695435)
    And Elon Musk would be whining about how the media was unfairly targeting Tesla, making misleading claims about a correlation between toppings and high speed crashes, claiming Teslas are not tipped more than any other car in the city, all the while designing titanium tipping resistant body panels as implicit acknowledgment of reality. And Slashdot would be a boiling kettle of fanboys defending Tesla and group thinking (par for the course).

    I should say, I am biased, being a Tesla stockholder.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @12:56PM (#46695519)

    There is a shortage of cattle in San Francisco. These might be the only alternative.

  • Synergy (Score:5, Funny)

    by sjames (1099) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @12:57PM (#46695535) Homepage

    I've seen discussions of having electric cars play an audio track of engine noise to reduce accidents with pedestrians.

    And now, when the kids tip it, it will go "MooOOOOOOooo"

  • by The Grim Reefer (1162755) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @01:10PM (#46695697)

    No kidding. Back in the 80's 4-5 of us would pick up compact cars and move them onto the sidewalk out of drunken stupidity.

    One of my friends had an MG back then. A couple of people lifted the rear end off the ground right before he was getting ready to drive off. While they were all laughing, he put the car in reverse and stepped on the gas. While laughing himslef, he asked them how long they thought they could hold it.

  • by slinches (1540051) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @01:16PM (#46695751)

    If it were Teslas being tipped, I think the NFL and/or the military would be the ones investigating. Those things weigh over two tons and have a very low CG, making them nearly impossible to roll over without some heavy duty lifting apparatus.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @01:24PM (#46695847)

    Do American's detune their cars or something?

    No, the passengers just weigh more.

  • by ThatsNotPudding (1045640) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @01:28PM (#46695897)

    Gentrification to me means turning filthy, crime ridden ghettos [FULL OF POOR MINORITIES]
    into clean and safe neighborhoods [FULL OF RICH WHITE PEOPLE].

  • by BenSchuarmer (922752) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @02:21PM (#46696573)
    Mentos must be stopped.
  • by RivenAleem (1590553) on Tuesday April 08, 2014 @03:50PM (#46697763)

    Exactly, I did this in SimCity and eventually a volcano erupted in what was otherwise a geologically stable area. And simulations don't lie.

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