Rumors About Episode II Denounced 187
at0m writes "Here is an announcement on starwars.com denouncing the myths and rumors regarding casting speculations. It is in response to some bogus articles written about the casting process. A starwars.com newsletter also indicated that the first steps are being taken to begin creating Episode II."
Re:Everyone, meet Anakin. (Score:1)
Hmm, I followed that link to the Ain't It Cool News article about Jeff Garner. Now I personally have no interest in the subject, but I must say one thing:
Damn, the comments are funny!!
Check this shit out! [aint-it-cool-news.com] These guys flame and whine and bitch and swear so much, they make Slashdot look a garden party! Sorry guys, the AICN trolls are way better than any Slashdot trolls!
Re:Too busy to click thru? (Score:1)
"Help, help, I'm in a nutshell!" -- Jar Jar Binks?
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pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].
Re:Second Episode... (Score:1)
The last news I heard about Episode ][ was...
"...even though he's nine and she's 14, and he's prob'ly gonna marry her some day-e-a-eay-ee..."
(for those who don't know, that's Weird Al's parody of Miss American Pie, from his album Running With Scissors... ("My, my, this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader someday later right now he's a small fry...") It's good stuff, almost as good as "It's All About the Pentiums, Baby"...)
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pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].
Re:Second Episode... (Score:1)
Yeah. I think I saw it a while back on slashdot, actually, but I guess you get more points if you post your Trolls on the right story. Then it gets moderated up, and then the luser moderators notice it when they're browsing at 1 or whatever...
Thanks for the link... I'm just full of useless pop-culture references.
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pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].
Re:Then again (Score:1)
:-
glad to hear the rumors are false (Score:1)
I guess I should have appreciated the irony. In retrospect it was obviously a hoax sent to a gullible press and audience (such as myself). However, it seemed so believable because of the sort of stereotype-baiting casting decisions we saw in programs like Star Trek: Voyager.
It just goes to show, the press is just as gullible the rest of us are, sometimes.
-Dean
Re:Casting suggestion (Score:1)
Homer: ... What are you going to do? Release the hounds? Or release the bees? Or release the hounds that have bees in the mouths, so when they bark bees come shooting out? Well do your worse.
Burns: Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.
Re:Nice to see... (Score:1)
I want MORE!! :) (Score:1)
I dont care if people are pissed about this, MORE MORE MORE!! Give this Anonymous Coward a regular spot on slashdot! YES! MORE!!!
Casting suggestion (Score:1)
GO AWAY TROLL (Score:1)
Away with you!
Shoo! Beat it!
You're not fooling anyone.
Special deals = the price of 10% (Score:1)
Does everyone remember how pretty much everyone of those "underground" bands that were really all of a sudden weren't underground. Perhaps its time for a new slashdot.
racism? (Score:1)
Am I reading too much into this, or is this saying that no asians need audition for episode II and any native americans cast will have meek, atheistic characters. I expect to hear this next from lucasfilms:
"Sorry, we are only accepting muppets, Samuel L. Jackson, computer animations and caucasians for the next film. But we'll have more aliens with really bad japanese accents and are leafing through the protocols of the elders of zion for tips on how to present any jewish characters."
--Shoeboy
Re:Any Gay Characters? (Score:1)
I can't believe I'm posting to a Star Wars discussion...
Re:Oportunistic /.ers? Nahhh... (Score:1)
I don't like a lot of OPEC's policies, but I'm not about to give up my car...
You have to strike a balance. If someone somewhere has done something you don't agree with, and they are associated with a particular product or service, it's cool if you protest and stop using that product/service, but if you tried to do that with every single thing, you'd never do anything, and you'd starve to death.
Also, be careful of characterizing Slashdot as a whole. This site is filled individuals that have widely varying points of view. It's possible that there are a lot of people that agree whole-heartedly with the MPAA, and they are the ones posting to this story (not likely, but hey, I don't know). Unless you went back to the MPAA stories and compared user ID's, you don't know if people are really being hypocritical or not.
C
(feeling bitter and disgusted tonight)
That's cool, it happens... :)
"... message passing as the fundamental operation of the OS is just an excercise in computer science masturbation."
Re:Troll? (Score:1)
I think his films might lack a bit of variety in the race of the actors, but I think people went a bit far with the "silly voices" being linked to a certain race/ethnicity. I don't think that's a reason to believe that the studio would announce "we won't cast asians". C'mon, that was taking it a little far.
Second Episode... (Score:1)
I hope jar jar dies, there's some original content.
a guess... (Score:1)
Re:Oportunistic /.ers? Nahhh... (Score:1)
This is worth a 4 moderation?
Maybe be its just me and the fact that its 3:00am but I don't think that this post is THAT insightful. There were tonnes of postings in the recent DoS articles which were very good but didn't get moderated up because there were just too many of them.
Crappy moderation.
Too busy to click thru? (Score:1)
-------------------------
Lynne Hale : please fsck off and die.
------------------------
Re:Lucas needs to stop being a money-grubbing Jew (Score:1)
/me grumbles about underuse of avaliable characters...
Any Gay Characters? (Score:1)
As Star Wars seems (inexplicably, from my viewpoint) to stir the emotions of so many millions of people, doesn't George have a responsibility to represent all of us? Blacks, whites - ALL races - gays, lesbians, bi's, the transgendered?
And why are there no female Jedi's?
Re:Just how is this a valid /. topic? (Score:1)
Just my opinion...
Re:Just how is this a valid /. topic? (Score:1)
Re:An idea.. (Score:1)
-jeff
Re:Lucas needs to stop being a money-grubbing Jew (Score:1)
Re:An idea.. (Score:1)
Re:Oportunistic /.ers? Nahhh... (Score:1)
Boycott doesn't work well against a monopoly or against an industry where a certain unethical or disagreeable practice is pervasive. Yes, we can all choose to forego music and movies in protest, but that's really not the right solution.
There is a limit to what popular action can accomplish in the face of monopolies or deeply entrenched industry-wide practices. We can complain about them to let the powers that be know we don't like what they're doing, and we can encourage people to develop alternatives to offer a competing product. This is precisely what happened with Linux; it has grown the way it has in part because of the encouragement from a significant segment of the public for someone to develop an alternative that doesn't behave like everyone else. Simply boycotting Microsoft would have been impossible, since for most users there wasn't (and still isn't for many) a viable alternative to buying Microsoft products other than to simply eschew computing entirely.
The fight against the MPAA and its Anti-DeCSS activity is best fought in the courts and in the legislatures. It's a problem of an abuse of power, and we should use the proper mechanisms to defeat that abuse. Boycott Amazon; you can always go elsewhere and get the exact same books from a more responsible vendor. But trying to boycott the MPAA is fighting a lost cause, unless a _lot_ of people are willing to make what is effectively a major sacrifice, even if it doesn't sound like it.
Re:welcome to the new slash-dot! (Score:1)
To anyone writing this off as an AC, check out VA Linux's [valinux.com] homepage. It actually appears to be true. Scary...
Re:Any Gay Characters? (Score:1)
As Star Wars seems (inexplicably, from my viewpoint) to stir the emotions of so many millions of people, doesn't George have a responsibility to represent all of us?
Why should Lucas have to cast actors based on their ethnic/social backgrounds as opposed to their acting ability? Even better, why should he have to change his storylines so that his fantasy world falls right in line with what you think it should be?
The real point is this: a story is a story. It focuses on a set of characters and events. That the characters in a particular story happen not to be gay, or, as in the case of Star Wars, that the sexuality of the characters is of little relevence to the plot, doesn't mean that the author of the story has a bias against gays. It just means that the author didn't write a story about them.
If a story about homosexuality is what you're looking for, turn your TV on. Watch one of the many many shows with gay characters. Or buy a book or rent a movie with gay characters. There are literally thousands of stories dealing with the subject.
The points about race might be valid, but not in the way you describe. There's no reason Lucas should specifically seek out a diverse cast. What he should do instead is seek a talented cast.
However, since many roles don't specifically call for white actors, you'd think that more minorities would get big roles, just due to talent. This doesn't strike me as one of the world's most important problems though...
And why are there no female Jedi's?
Who cares why there are no female jedi? There are women playing prominent roles in ALL of the Star Wars movies.
Re:VA Linux, was this worth almost 1 billion dolla (Score:1)
Although this may be a case of "methinks that they protest too much" of course.
Re:90%!!!!!!!! (Score:1)
In that case please save these necrophiliacs from their nostagic Star Wars worship!!!!
Episode 1 was one of the worst movies ever made and it can only go downhill from there. I understand the desire to lay with that with which you are familiar (it keeps a lot of crappy marriages together and it keeps the Rolling Stones in a career) but lets put an end to lame "news" about Star Wars. I have utterly grave doubts about VA buying Andover and by default Slashdot, but if ever there were a case where the benevolent tyranny of VA could help these guys out, it is now!
Save Slashdot from wasting more headline space with inconsequential items about satanic George Lucas' attempt to turn our brains into mush!!!!
Larry, Stop these stories now!!!!!
Re:Any Gay Characters? (Score:1)
Ha ha, that's funny. And what's even funnier is that even if George Lucas put all those in his next film, it still couldn't have any less depth. Although I'm sure he'll come up with something to suprise us all.
Re:Any Gay Characters? (Score:1)
Why should Lucas have to cast actors based on their ethnic/social backgrounds as opposed to their acting ability?
...
What he should do instead is seek a talented cast.
LOL. George Lucas doesn't exactly have a good track record with the acting ability displayed by characters in his films. I can't say there's any emotive acting anywhere in the four films to date and chances are he will continue his unbroken run in the next two movies.
I heard Leonardo Dicaprio was gonna be in it.. (Score:1)
as the young Princess Leia
:)
death of slashdot (Score:1)
Excuse me, sir, but a content provider taken over by a hardware & service seller inevitably translates into censorship. Expect no articles highly critical of Vandover. Expect any critical articles to be spun in a subtly positive way. Expect that slashdot's days as a free forum for the interchange of ideas are numbered.
I've personally been part of too many electronic communities, be they on mailing lists, news groups, or web sites, that have been decimated by "new ideas" that, put in plain English, translate into fixing & limiting the topics of discussion, to fall for this standard line of crap.
Pardon me while I throw up. Augustin has credibility in the free software/open source community, but that will nosedive once slash starts to croak.
Please direct your flamage to /dev/null. And BTW, it's Commander Taco.
Special note to any moderator who reduces my "score": You know where to go.
Re:death of slashdot (Score:1)
Maybe he's been promoted?
Re:DID SOMEBODY SAY STAR WARS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (Score:1)
i think its ironic that this is finally ON-topic.
diverse ? (Score:1)
The diversity of actors who have appeared in Star Wars such as Pernilla August (Anakin's mother), Hugh Quarshie (Captain Panaka), Dhruv Chanchani (Kitster), and Kristina DaSilva (Rabe) were chosen for the talent they brought to their roles--not because they were Swedish, Ghanaian, Indian, or Brazilian.
www.ihatestarwars.com for an amusing disagreement
Worst movie of all time (Score:1)
Or how about Krull?
I think you were expecting too much (Score:1)
On the whole it was enjoyable. So maybe it doesn't say anything about Human nature and the inner struggle of the human soul between good and evil that a lot of people think it does. I don't care. I can enjoy a movie based on just the action scenes. Some people don't, and thats perfectly reasonable too. If you don't, it doesn't make your opinion that it sucks the truth.
BTW, Krull wasn't the movie with Kevin Sorbo in - That was the similarly named Kull. Krull was one of the many Sci-fi/mystical flicks inspired by Star Wars. A kidnapped Princess in Castle type story.
Nice to see... (Score:1)
It will be interesting to see who lands the job of Anakin. It will also be interesting to see what CG scences Lucas does this time around
Re:An idea.. (Score:1)
I guess they dont like to be confronted
/kevlar armour on
Re:Just how is this a valid /. topic? (Score:1)
Re:Just how is this a valid /. topic? (Score:1)
Remarkable insight! (Score:1)
I disagree... (Score:1)
Anything before that proves you are gay little Lucas lackeys, and, worse than that, hypocrites.
I disagree. Being a gay little Lucas-lackey is much worse than being a hypocrite.
Rest of the post seems fine.
welcome to the new slash-dot! (Score:1)
Dear Slash-dot user,
As many of you already know, Andover.net, Slash-dot's publisher, was recently aquired by VA Linux Systems [valinux.com] , the premier provider of Linux-based, high performance server solutions. I am taking this opportunity to personally welcome each and every Slash-dot user to the new VA-Andover.net team.
Over the next few months. our master developers will be working with the Andover.net and Slash-dot editorial staffs to improve this site with enhanced reliability and brand new features. VA has donated four StartX MP servers [valinux.com] , "tweaked" by the expert engineers who build these systems, to make Slash-dot a faster and more reliable service for all. These systems will be integrated with the current Andover.net hardware as soon as April 2000; look for an annoucement to be posted on the front page!
Some users have expressed some concerns about VA's aquisition affecting the content of news released on Slash-dot. Not to worry, as this has already been discussed, and in 90% of cases the final editorial control will rest with Rob Malda, or as you know him, Captain Taco! :)
With over six years of experience in the Linux world, VA Linux Systems is well suited to help bring Slash-dot into the 21st Century and make it the first stop on the Net for Linux news and discussion! I'm looking forward to it!
Yours truly,
Larry M. Augustin
President, Chief Executive Officer and Director
VA Linux Systems [valinux.com]
P.S. - In the next few weeks, look for links to special deals on VA Linux computers available only to Slash-dot readers! Just our way of welcoming our new team members!
VA Linux / Slash-dot Giveaway -- enter today! (Score:1)
As promised, VA Linux Systems will for a limited time be offering special deals on hot VA Linux computers to Slash-dot readers.
To kick off the promotional offers, we're having a contest drawing on March 1st. The winner will receive a VA Linux Systems StartX SP Workstation [valinux.com] with a blazing 400MHz Intel(TM) Celeron© processer, (approx $908.00 value)!
Five second place winners will receive a Linux / Slash-dot gift pack, including a "Debian GNU/Linux Box Set" and "Slash-dot" t-shirt (as seen on Copyleft.net), an estimated $40 value.
Remember, this contest is only open to registered Slash-dot users. Look below for instructions on how to enter.
In other news:
I must apologize for referring to Mr. Malda as "Captain Taco" in previous statements. I received over a dozen letters from Slash-dotters like yourselves informing me of my mistake, which brings me to this point: I encourage you to let me know your opinions (and correct me if I misspeak). Within a week a special e-mail address will be set up for this purpose. Only together can we make VA / Andover.net successful. Each and every one of you is part of the team.
Please look for my new weekly newsletter, starting on February 18th!
Sincerely,
Larry M. Augustin
President, Chief Executive Officer and Director
VA Linux Systems [valinux.com]
***"VA Linux/ Slash-dot Giveaway" Contest Instructions and Rules
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Prizes: There is one (1) "First place" prize consisting of one (1) "VA Linux Systems StartX SP Linux Workstation" with 400MHZ Intel Celeron processor, 64MB RAM, 6.4GB hard drive, and the VA Linux OS v.6.0 Software Kit. A 17" monitor, keyboard, and mouse are included. Five (5) "Second place" winners will receive a "Linux / Slash-dot gift pack" containing: one (1) Debian GNU / Linux software box set and one (1) Copyleft "Slash-dot" t-shirt. Estimated value of "First place" prize is $908.00**. Estimated value of "Second place" prize is $40.00**.
Disclaimer: VA Linux Systems assumes no liability for e-mail Contest entries not received. The Contest is not open to employees of VA Linux Systems and Andover.net, or their immediate relatives. VA Linux Systems reserves the right to reward alternate prizes of equal or greater value, defined by the value estimates stated above. All trademarks are copyrights of their respective owners.
Other: Note that the Contest is not mentioned on the VA Linux website. To receive a printed copy of the Official Rules, send e-mail to "info@valinux.com" with your mailing address. Please remember that because the Contest's short entry period, you may not receive the printing Rules until after the cutoff date (as defined above).
** All values are in US dollars and do not include state tax and shipping charges.
DID SOMEBODY SAY STAR WARS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (Score:2)
chapter vi
a story of tender love
natalie portman has returned to her home town of albany new york to rescue her friend, mae ling mak, from the clutches of the vile gangster, naked & petrified guy.
little does natalie know that the evil open source empire, led by esr, has begun construction on a new sendmail daemon even more powerful than the first dreaded sendmail.
once completed, this new daemon will spell certain doom for the natalie portman fan-club, ending their means of sending fan-mail...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
open source man arrives at the development house. workers are scuttling about attempting to look busy.
project leader: open source man, this is an unexpected pleasure. we are honored by your presence.
open source man: you may dispense with the pleasantries, project leader. i am here to put you back on schedule.
project leader: i assure you, open source man, my men are working as fast as they can.
open source man: perhaps i can find new ways to motivate them!
project leader: the new sendmail daemon will be completed on schedule!
open source man: esr does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
project leader: but he asks the impossible! i need more volunteers!
open source man: then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives here.
project leader: esr is coming here?!
open source man: that is correct, project leader, and he is most displeased with your apparant lack of progress.
project leader: we shall double our efforts!
open source man: i hope so, project leader, for your sake. esr is not as forgiving as i am.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
c3-rms and linus-d2 are walking down the sidewalk in albany new york, headed for the naked & petrified guy's palace.
c3-rms: of course i'm worried. and you should be, too. lando johansen and poor alan cox never returned from this awful place.
linus-d2: chirp, chirp.
c3-rms: don't be so sure. if i told you half the things i've heard about this naked & petrified guy, you'd probably short-circuit.
the two droids approach the gate of the massive palace.
c3-rms: linus, are you sure this is the right place? i better knock, i suppose.
c3-rms knocks on the iron door.
c3-rms: there doesn't seem to be anyone there. let's go back and tell mistress portman.
a small hatch opens in the middle of the door and an aibo head pops out.
aibo head: tnaw uoy od kcuf eht tahw?
c3-rms: goodness gracious me! yug deifirtep & dekan eht ot egassem a evig ot emoc evah ew. smr-3c ma i dna 2d-sunil si siht.
the aibo examines the droids, laughs, then returns to its hole.
c3-rms: i don't think they're going to let us in, linus. we'd better go!
the door opens and linus rushes inside. hesitantly, c3-rms follows.
c3-rms: oh, linus! linus, wait for me!
the giant door slams shut behind the droids. two naked and petrified statue gaurds close in on the droids.
c3-rms: just you deliver mistress portman's message and get us out of here.
out of the darkness, a naked & petrified lacey chabert enters the room.
lacey chabert statue: olleh
c3-rms: oh, my! olleh. we bring a message to your master, the naked & petrified guy.
linus-d2: chirp, beep, chirp.
c3-rms:
lacey shakes her head. lacey holds out her hand toward linus, who chirps in protest as he backs away.
c3-rms: he says that our instructions are to give it only to naked & petrified himself. i'm terribly sorry. i'm afraid he's ever so stubborn about these sorts of things.
lacey motions for the droids to follow her. lacey leads the droids into the naked & petrified guy's throne room. they stand nervously before him.
c3-rms: the message, linus, the message.
a projection of natalie portman beams out from the center of linus' head... the projection speaks...
natalie portman: greetings exalted one. allow me to introduce myself. i am natalie portman, hot young actress and friend to mae ling mak. i know that you are powerful, mighty naked & petrified, and that your lust for mae ling must be equally powerful. i seek an audience with your greatness to bargain for mae ling's life. with your wisdom, i'm sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation. as a token of my goodwill, i present to you a gift: these two droids. both are hardworking and will serve you well.
naked & petrified guy: there will be no bargain! i will not give up my favorite wall decoration. i like mae ling where she is!
the naked and petrified guy points to mae ling mak, naked & petrified and hanging on the wall.
c3-rms: linus, look! it's mae ling! and she's still frozen in carbonite!
the droids are taken away for processing.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
a party is underway in the throne room. larry wall and tom christiansen are topless and chained. the naked & petrified guy holds the chains as the two dance. the naked & petrified guy grows disgusted with the two constantly making sexual advances toward each other. he presses a button on his throne and the two dancers fall into a pit with a giant aibo. the aibo is equipped with a scientifically proven magic petrification ray. the aibo petrifies the two dancers. laughter fills the room full of naked & petrified teen girls.
suddenly, a blast from the hallway interrupts the merriment. a masked figure walks in with a large hairy handcuffed beast.
c3-rms: oh no! alan cox!
naked & petrified guy: at last, we have the mighty alan cox!
the naked & petrified guy motions for c3-rms to come translate. c3-rms complies.
c3-rms: the illustrious naked & petrified guy bids you welcome and will gladly pay you the reward of twenty-five thousand.
bounty hunter: i want fifty thousand. no less.
the naked and petrified guy becomes enraged. he knocks c3-rms back. c3-rms regains his footing.
c3-rms: uh, the mighty naked & petrified guy asks why he must pay fifty thousand.
the bounty hunter holds up a small brown ball.
c3-rms: because he's holding a ball of gnu dung!
naked & petrified guy: this bounty hunter is my kind of scum. fearless and inventive....
c3-rms: the naked & petrified guy offers you the sum of thirty-five and he'll throw in a cute teen girl naked and petrified.
the bounty hunter nods.
c3-rms: he agrees!
the bounty hunter joins in the resumed celebration as alan cox is taken away by a pair of naked and petrified cute teen girls.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
it is dark and quiet in the throne room. all of the cute naked & petrified teen girls are passed out from the drunken festivities. the bounty hunter steps quietly toward the petrified mae ling mak. the bounty hunter flips a switch on one side of mae ling's encasement. the encasement falls to the floor. the bounty hunter pulls a depetrification lever. a bright light shines through the carbonite. mae ling mak's naked body falls out of the shell and onto the floor. the bounty hunter lifts her up. mae ling regains consciousness.
bounty hunter: just relax for a moment. you're free of the carbonite.
mae ling mak: i can't see!
bounty hunter: your eyesight will return in time.
mae ling mak: where am i?
bounty hunter: the naked & petrified guy's palace.
mae ling mak: who are you?
the bounty hunter removes his mask... it's matalie, natalie portman's identical twin sister!
matalie: someone who loves you!
mae ling mak: matalie!
matalie: i gotta get you outta here.
as matalie helps mae ling mak to her feet, a deep cackle booms from a curtain next to them.
mae ling mak: i know that laugh.
the curtain opens to reveal the naked & petrified guy and his cronies, including c3-rms, whose mouth is being covered by lacey chabert, naked and petrified.
mae ling mak: hey, naked and petrified guy, i was just on my way to bring you some cute teen girls, but i got a little sidetracked. it's not my fault!
naked & petrified guy: it's too late for that, mae ling. you may have been a good provider of cute teen girls, but now you're highway pavement!
mae ling mak: look!
naked & petrified guy: take her away!
a couple of naked & petrified cute teen girls grab mae ling mak and drag her off.
mae ling mak: naked & petrified, i'll pay you triple... you're throwing away 24 cute teen girls here. don't be a fool!
mae ling mak is removed from the scene. the naked & petrified guy turns his attentions to matalie.
naked & petrified guy: bring her to me!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
all is dark and quiet in the entranceway to the naked & petrified guy's palace. the main gate raises to let in a bright white light from outside. the silhouetted figure of natalie portman enters the palace. two naked & petrified cute teen girls try to bar natalie's progress. natalie raises her hand and the guards fall back. natalie proceeds on to the naked & petrified guy's throne room. natalie portman enters the throne room and the naked & petrified guy awakes.
natalie portman lifts her skirt as her twin sister watches.
natalie portman: you will bring mae ling mak and alan cox to me.
naked & petrified guy: your sexual powers will not work on me, girl!
natalie portman: nevertheless, i am taking mae ling and her friends. you can either profit by this or be destroyed. it's your choice. but i warn you not to underestimate the powers of my hot young body.
the naked and petrified guy glares at natalie portman smugly. he presses the button to the trapdoor.
naked & petrified guy: there will be no bargain, young actress. i shall enjoy admiring you nude and imobile.
natalie portman falls into the pit with the giant aibo, equipped with the scientifically proven magic petrification ray. the aibo's ray warms up and it begins to fire, but not before natalie pulls a mirror from her purse and holds it up to the aibo. the ray reflects from the mirror and petrifies the aibo.
a naked and petrified cmdr taco and hemos come into the chamber. they are devastated at the loss of the aibo.
the naked & petrified guy is also infuriated.
naked & petrified guy: bring me mak and cox! they will all suffer for this outrage!
several naked & petrified cute teen girls scramble about. mae ling mak, alan cox and natalie portman are brought before the naked & petrified guy. c3-rms translates.
c3-rms: oh dear. his high exaltedness, the great naked & petrified guy, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately.
mae ling mak: good, i hate long waits.
c3-rms: you will therefore be taken to the dune sea and cast into a pit of hot grits.
mae ling mak: doesn't sound so bad.
c3-rms: there you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as your are slowly digested over a thousand years.
mae ling mak: on second thought, let's pass on that.
natalie portman: you should have bargained, naked & petrified guy. that's the last mistake you'll ever make!
the naked & petrified guy cackles evilly as the prisoners are hearded off.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
at the pit of hot grits, natalie portman, alan cox and mae ling mak are moved into position to be pushed into the pit from a small sail barge. matalie and linus-d2 watch from the naked & petrified guy's larger sail barge.
a naked & petrified cute teen girl moves natalie portman into position. natalie portman nods to lando johansen and linus-d2. they indicate acknowledgement of the signal. natalie is pushed over the plank, but she grabs onto it as she falls and bounces back. at the same moment, linus-d2 ejects a can of mace from a compartment in his head. natalie uses the mace to send various naked & petrified teen girls carreening into the pit of hot grits. the grits bubble in delight.
matalie takes advantage of the chaos. she grabs the chain connecting her to the naked & petrified guy and uses it to strangle him.
lando johansen frees mae ling mak and alan cox, who join natalie portman in the fight. natalie makes her way to the main sail barge, while matalie is freed by linus-d2.
linus-d2 and c3-rms dive into the sand. natalie portman grabs her twin sister and jumps back onto the smaller sail barge with lando johansen, mae ling mak and alan cox after setting off the large petrification ray on the main sail barge.
as the smaller sail barge collects the droids and flies away, the entire large sail barge is petrified and collapses under its own weight.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
open source man and the sendmail project leader kneal at the entranceway of the development shop. esr enters the room.
esr: rise my friend.
open source man and the project leader rise and walk alongside esr.
open source man: the sendmail daemon will be completed on schedule.
esr: you have done well, open source man. and now i sense you wish to continue your quest to open source young natalie portman.
open source man: yes, my master.
esr: patience, my friend. in time she will seek you out. and when she does, you must bring her before me. she has developed nicely. only together can we turn her to the open source side.
open source man: as you wish.
esr: everything is proceeding as i have foreseen.
esr laughes as they walk down the hallway.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
linus-d2 waits outside in the rain. natalie portman is inside a small hut with betty davis.
betty davis: hmmm. that face you make. look i so old to young eyes?
natalie portman: no... of course not.
betty davis: i do, yes, i do! sick have i become. old and weak. when nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not! soon i will rest. yes, forever sleep. earned it i have.
natalie portman: mistress davis, you can't die.
betty davis: strong am i with femininity. but not that strong! twilight is upon me and soon night must fall. that is the way of things... the way of the hot young actress.
natalie portman: but i need your help. i've come back to complete the training.
betty davis: no more training do you require. already know you that which you need.
natalie portman: then i am a hot young actress?
betty davis: ohhhh. not yet. one thing remains: open source man. you must confront open source man. only then a hot young actress will you be. and confront him you will.
natalie portman: mistress davis.... was open source man the president of my fan club?
betty davis: mmmm... rest i need. yes... rest.
natalie portman: betty, i must know.
betty davis: the president of your fan club he was. told you did he?
natalie portman: yes.
betty davis: unexpected this is. and unfortunate.
natalie portman: unfortunate that i know the truth?
betty davis: no. unfortunate that you rushed to face him... that incomplete was your hotness. not ready for a sexual relationship were you. remember, a hot young actress's strength flows from her hot young buttocks. but beware. anger, fear, agression. the open source side are they. once you start down the open source path, forever will it dominate your destiny. consume you it will. natalie... natalie... do not... do not underestimate the powers of esr, or suffer open source man's fate you will. natalie, when gone am i, the last of the hot young actresses will you be. natalie, hotness is strong in your family. pass on what you have learned. natalie... there is... another.... port... port... man.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
natalie portman wanders back outside. she is depressed.
natalie portman: i can't do it linus. i can't go on alone.
hedy lamar: betty davis will always be with you.
natalie looks up and sees the spirit of hedy lamar. hedy approaches natalie and they sit together on a tree trunk.
natalie portman: hedy lamar! why didn't you tell me? you told me open source man tied up and bludgeoned the president of my fan club!
hedy lamar: the president of your fan club was seduced by the open source community. he ceased to be anonymous coward and became open source man. when that happened, the good man who was the president of your fan club was destroyed. so what i have told you was true... from a certain point of view.
natalie portman: a certain point of view!
hedy lamar: natalie, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. anonymous was a good friend. when i first knew him, anonymous was already a great fan of yours. i was amazed at how obsessed he was with you. i took it upon myself to train him as the president of your fan club. i thought i could instruct him just as well as betty davis. i was wrong.
natalie portman: there's still good in him.
hedy lamar: he is more machine now than man. horny and desperate.
natalie portman: i can't do it, hedy. i can't kill the president of my own fan club.
hedy lamar: then esr has already won. you were our only hope.
natalie portman: betty spoke of another.
hedy lamar: the other she spoke of is your identical twin sister.
natalie portman: but i have no sister.
hedy lamar: to protect you both from esr, you were hidden from him when you were born.
natalie portman: matalie! matalie's my sister!
hedy lamar: your insight serves you well. bury your feelings deep down, natalie. they do you credit. but they could be made to serve esr.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Re:DID SOMEBODY SAY STAR WARS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (Score:2)
natalie portman joins the rest of the group at the fan-club headquarters. they are making arrangements for the upcoming final battle.
admiral katzbar: mae ling mak will lead a group to the open source code generator. there, they will deactivate the new sendmail daemon. this will allow us to communicate battle orders to the fan-club members attacking the open source development house and end esr's terrible reign!
the groups divide up and head out for battle. on the way out, matalie notices something is troubling natalie.
matalie: natalie what's wrong?
natalie: matalie... do you remember your mother? your real mother?
matalie: just a little bit. she died when i was very young.
natalie: i have no memory of my mother. i never knew her.
matalie: natalie, tell me, what's troubling you?
natalie: open source man is here, now, near this bunker.
matalie: how do you know?
natalie: i felt his presence. he's come for me. he can feel when i'm near. that's why i have to go. as long as i stay, i'm endagering the group and our mission here. i have to face him.
matalie: why?
natalie: he was the president of my fan club.
matalie: your fan club?!
natalie: there's more. it won't be easy for you to hear it, but you must. if i don't make it back, you're the only hope for the fan-club.
matalie: natalie, don't talk that way. you have a power i don't understand and could never have!
natalie: you're wrong, matalie. you have that power too. in time, you'll learn to use it as i have. being a hot young actress runs in my family. my mother had it. i have it. and... my sister has it.... yes. it's you matalie.
matalie: i know. somehow... i've always known.
they embrace before natalie portman leaves to surrender. mae ling mak approaches natalie portman.
mae ling mak: hey, what's goin' on?
matalie: i... i can't tell you.
mae ling mak: did you tell natalie? is that who you could tell?!
mae ling mak begins to leave, then hesitates.
mae ling mak: i'm sorry.
matalie: hold me!
mae ling mak and matalie embrace.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
two random open source developers enter the cat-walk holding natalie portman in chains.
random open source developer #1: this is the hot young actress who surrendered to us. although she denies it, i believe there may be more of them and i request permission to conduct a search of the area. she was armed only with this.
the random open source developer hands open source man a spray-can of mace.
open source man: good work coder. leave us. conduct your search and bring her companions to me.
the random open source developers leave.
open source man: esr has been expecting you.
natalie portman: i know, president.
open source man: so... you've accepted the truth!
natalie portman: i've accepted the truth that you were once anonymous coward... president of my fan club.
open source man: that name no longer holds any meaning for me!
natalie portman: it's the name of your true self. you've only forgotten. i know there is good in you! esr hasn't driven it from you fully! that was why you couldn't bludgeon me before. that's why you won't bring me to esr now.
open source man seems distracted by natalie's firm buttocks.
open source man: i see your figure has filled out. your development is complete. indeed you are alluring as esr has forseen.
natalie is unsure of what open source man plans on doing. she is a bit nervous.
natalie portman: come with me.
open source man: my girlfriend once thought as you do. you don't know the power of open source! i must obey esr!
natalie portman: i will not be open sourced. and you will be forced to bludgeon me with the open source gnu sausage.
open source man: if that is your destiny...
natalie portman: search your feelings, anonymous. you can't do this! i feel the conflict within you! let go of your lust!
open source man: it is too late for me, natalie.
open source man motions for an open source developer.
open source man: esr will show you the true nature of open source. he is your master now!
dissappointed, natalie nods her head.
natalie portman: then the president of my fan club is truly dead.
as the open source developer takes natalie away, open source man gazes longingly at her buttocks. he turns to look out the window, harkening back to his innocent youth, when he was president of the natalie portman fan-club. he sighs, deeply.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
back outside, mae ling mak, matalie portman, alan cox, c3-rms, linus-d2 and some natalie portman fan-club members are walking across the park, approaching the code generator. they run into a biker gang of lubricating midgets. they befriend the midgets and convince them to help in the attack. the midgets decide to wait in the bushes surrounding the bunker to ambush any unforseen open source developers which may show up.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
open source man and natalie portman enter esr's throne-room. esr is sitting in a chair at the top of a platform. open source man and natalie portman approach.
esr: welcome, hot young actress, i've been expecting you. you'll no longer need those.
esr waves a finger and natalie's hand-cuffs fall off.
esr: guards... leave us.
the gaurds leave.
esr: i am looking forward to completing your sexual development. in time, you will call me master.
natalie portman: you're gravely mistaken. you won't open source me.
esr: oh no, my hot young actress, you will find it is you who are mistaken... about a great many things.
open source man: her can of mace.
esr: ah yes. a hot young actresses weapon. much like the ones that have been used on me time and again. by now you must know your old fan-club president can never be turned from the open-source side. so will it be with you.
natalie portman: you're wrong. soon i'll be dead and you with me.
esr: laughs. perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your fans. yes. i assure you, we are quite safe from your fans here.
natalie portman: your overconfidence is your weakness.
esr: your faith in your fans is yours.
open source man: it is pointless to resist, natalie.
esr: everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. your fans are walking into a trap. it was i who allowed the natalie portman fan club to know the location of the code generator. i assure you, it is quite safe from your pitiful little band. an entire legion of my best coders await them. oh... i'm afraid the sendmail daemon will be quite operational when your fans arrive!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
mae ling mak, matalie, alan cox and several natalie portman fans storm the code generator bunker, taking everyone prisoner.
mae ling mak: all right! up! move! come on! quickly! quickly, alan!
the natalie portman fans herd the generator programmers away from their panels. matalie glances at a display screen.
matalie: mae! hurry! the fan club will be here any moment!
mae ling mak: charges! come on! come on!
outside, c3-rms watches from the bushes. he sees several open source developers storm into the bunker.
c3-rms: oh, my! they'll be captured!
lubie chatters something as he takes off into the forest.
c3-rms: wait! come back! linus, stay with me...
back inside the bunker, mae ling mak looks up just as an open source developer enters.
open source developer: freeze! you groovy chick!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
the natalie portman fan club is storming down the highway, close to esr's palace.
natalie portman fan #1: sir! we still don't have email contact with headquarters!
fan club president: retreat! all fans retreat! the sendmail daemon is still operational!
the fans turn and try to escape. an enormous wave of open source developers attack from the side.
fan club president: it's a trap!
a vicious battle ensues.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
inside esr's throne room, a large window allows easy viewing of the battle going on outside.
esr: come, girl, see for yourself. from here you will witness the final destruction of your fan-club and the end of your insignificant chastity.
natalie is in torment. she glances at her can of mace sitting next to esr's hand.
esr: you want this, don't you? the lust is swelling in you now. take your hot young actress weapon. strike me down with it. give in to your sexuality. with each passing moment, you make yourself more my love-slave.
natalie portman: no!
esr: it is unavoidable. it is your destiny. you, like open source man, are now mine!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
back outside the open source code generator bunker, the open source developers have brought mae ling mak, matalie, alan cox and the natalie portman fans outside. c3-rms and linus-d2 appear from the bushes.
c3-rms: hello! i say, over there! were you looking for me?!
the open source developers look up. while they are distracted, a mass of lubricating midgets attacks. a massive battle breaks out. the lubricating midgets begin painting the open source developers with melted oleo. they slide over each other. they become so aroused that they begin a giant orgy. mae ling mak, matalie, alan cox and the natalie portman fans take advantage of the opportunity to return to the bunker and deactivate the sendmail daemon.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
esr: your fans have lost. and your friends at the open source code generator bunker will not survive. there is no escape, my young sex-slave. the natalie portman fan club will die... as will your friends.
natalie loses control and grabs her mace. open source man sheilds esr from the spray. natalie runs and hides.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
though outnumbered, the natalie portman fan club is winning the battle. the open source developers are so exhausted from overwork that they are practically useless in battle. not to mention that the natalie portman fans are energized at the thought of meeting natalie portman face-to-face once they take control of the building. the natalie portman fan club president suddenly gets a mail message from the fan club headquarters.
fan club president: i've got mail! the sendmail daemon is down! commence attack on the open source development house!
the natalie portman fans roar with excitement as they beat back the few remaining open source developers and head toward the building.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
natalie portman is hiding in esr's throne room. open source man is trying to locate her.
open source man: you cannot hide forever, natalie.
natalie portman: i will not be open sourced.
open source man: give yourself to the open source community. it is the only way you can save your friends.
natalie portman strains to contain her thoughts.
open source man: ah yes, your thoughts betray you. your feelings for them are strong. especially for... sister. so... you have a twin sister! now your feelings have betrayed her too. your parents were wise to hide her from me. now their failure is complete! if you will not be open sourced, then perhaps she will!
natalie portman jumps out from behind a mainframe, wielding a can of mace. she begins beating open source man back with it.
natalie portman: noooooooo!
natalie portman sprays open source man in the face with the self-protection spray. he crumples to the ground, holding his arm out to protect his face from another attack.
natalie portman is crazed with the power of open source.
esr cackles evilly as he steps down from his platform toward natalie.
esr: good. good! your open-sourcedness has made you powerful. now, release your sexuality and take open source man's place at my side.
natalie looks down at the fallen open source man, breathing heavily as his sinuses sting from the mace. she harkens back to her youthful obsession with a hot young actor.
natalie portman: never. i'll never turn to the open source side. you failed your highness. i am chaste, like open source man before me!
esr: so be it, closed-source girl. if you will not be open sourced, then you will be bludgeoned with the open source sausage!
esr grabs a giant sausage with a taxidermied gnu's head mounted on the end of it. he begins to beat natalie with it.
esr: hot young actress... only now, at the end, do you understand! you have paid the price for your lack of vision!
esr thrashes some more... open source man shakes off the mace.
esr: your hot young femininity is no match for the power of open source!
esr beats natalie again. open source man pulls himself to his feet and stands next to esr.
esr: and now, young portman, you will feel the full wrath of the gnu!
natalie portman screams in horror as esr thrashes her harder.
natalie portman: aaaargghghghghgh! open source man! please! help me!
open source man looks fondly upon natalie's firm young buttocks. he looks at esr. with a final surge of passion for the hot young actress, open source man lifts esr over his head and carries him to the window. open source man tosses esr into the blackness of night, but not before esr gets several good whacks in with the open source sausage.
open source man collapses to the floor. natalie portman crawls over to him and holds his head gently in her arms...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
outside, the fan club has beaten back the open source developers. the few remaining developers are rounded up and taken prisoner. the fan club members have penetrated the development house and have begun dismantling it. they are tearing it apart with their bare hands.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
natalie portman drags open source man through the development house. esr writings are flying around everywhere in the turmoil. the building is about to collapse from the attack of the natalie portman fan-club alliance. natalie is trying to reach a cart to drive her and open source man out to safety.
open source man: natalie, help me take these pants off.
natalie portman: but you'll make a mess all over the floor!
open source man: nothing can stop that now. just for once, let me love you with my own genitalia.
natalie nods in agreement. she removes open source man's pants. he smiles with relief. natalie gazes upon the pale, disfigured genitalia with pity.
open source man: now... go. leave me!
natalie portman: i'll not leave you. i've got to let you open source me!
open source man: you already have! you were hot! you were hot, natalie! tell your sister, you were ho...
with that, open source man slips away into a coma of bliss. filled with sorrow and pity, natalie takes one last look at the exposed genitalia. the development house begins to crumble. natalie quickly drags open source man's carcass onto the cart and escapes before the building collapses.
natalie reaches the street-corner. she spots her parents waiting to pick her up as designated. she dumps open source man onto the sidewalk, under a power line. she scribbles her phone number on a piece of paper and lays it on his chest. as she walks away, the tremors from the crumbling of the development house cause the power line to snap. it lands on open source man and ignites him. wistfully, natalie watches as he burns to a crisp.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
matalie and mae ling mak watch as the development house crumbles to the ground.
mae ling mak: i'm sure natalie wasn't in there when it blew.
matalie: she wasn't. i can feel it.
mae ling mak: you love her, don't you?
matalie: well... yes.
mae ling mak: fine. when she comes back... i won't get in the way.
matalie: it's not like that. she's my identical twin sister!
mae ling mak experiences a moment of confusion. then joy as she realizes matalie is all hers. they embrace and kiss.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
natalie portman is at a party with matalie and the members of the fan-club. she harkens back to the previous week when open source man saved her. she looks out the window... open source man's blue-auraed spirit is standing in the front lawn, naked and aroused, warmly smiling at her. standing on either side of him are betty davis and hedy lamar. natalie smiles back before rejoining her friends...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
the end.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
starring
open source man
anonymous coward
natalie portman
natalie portman
matalie (natalie portman's identical twin sister)
natalie portman
esr
esr
naked & petrified guy
anonymous coward
lacey chabert naked & petrified
lacey chabert naked & petrified
mae ling mak naked & petrified
mae ling mak naked & petrified
mae ling mak clothed & mobile
mae ling mak clothed & mobile
c3-rms
richard m. stallman
linus-d2
linus torvalds
open source gnu sausage
farmland national headquarters mascot sausage + taxidermied gnu's head
with special appearances by
tom christiansen (sweaty topless male dancer #1)
larry wall (sweaty topless male dancer #2)
produced by
anonymous coward
directed by
anonymous coward
written by
anonymous coward
special visual effects
anonymous coward
sound design
anonymous coward
music
anonymous coward
key grip
anonymous coward
sausage wrangler
anonymous coward
This is not real, some practical joke. (Score:2)
Just so you know, this post is entirely made up and not from VA in any way. In any sort of public forum there are always those that will abuse it, as we have all seen fairly often here.
So there you go. While this is a creative post, it's not for real. Specifically stating it for those who need it, there is no sweepstakes that VA is doing. We will be doing a theme contest soon enough via themes.org, but other than that there is nothing going on.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at chris@valinux.com.
Chris DiBona
Linux Community Evangelist, VA Linux Systems
--
Grant Chair, Linux Int.
Pres, SVLUG
Someone took Variety _seriously_? (Score:2)
You know, I haven't even seen EpI yet. Maybe I'll rent it. I didn't like the "Special Editions". Someone should have told Lucas "Less is sometimes Better".
Sigh. I need more sleep.
Re:Any Gay Characters? (Score:2)
As far as the "responsibility" argument . . . what you are advocating contains implied positions on both the purpose of art (propaganda, whatever the purpose) and the aesthetics of art (Naturalism). I am of the opinion that propaganda is not the proper calling of art, and that Naturalism is a crime against art, and therefore disagree with you on both implied points; but you can find plenty of people who agree with you.
Steven E. Ehrbar
Re:Oportunistic /.ers? Nahhh... (Score:2)
Steven E. Ehrbar
Everyone, meet Anakin. (Score:2)
Then again (Score:2)
You see, by posting this in an entertainment related article (one which is sure to get our collective asses to spend money on movie tickets), the poster might be trying to make the point that there are too many commercially slanted articles since
This might be a cry of disgust, a call to arms, "Revolution! Revolution!". This man is our champion, trying to save us lemmings from falling off the VA cliff. He's our Catcher in the Rye, our Messiah, our Neo - reclaiming our lost souls from the Pied Piper of Andover.
Or maybe I'm giving the troll too much credit. Maybe I paid a little too much attention in English Lit, and am interpretting tea leaves for content.
Go back under your bridge.
Attn: George Lucas (Score:2)
Re:Troll? (Score:2)
I'm not trolling, it's just that a lot of Episode I left a very bad taste in my mouth.
--Shoeboy
less is better in this case (Score:2)
Wanna goes halvsies on the Laserdisc?
Pope
Re:welcome to the new slash-dot! (Score:2)
Troll? (Score:2)
C'mon, don't be dumb. It means what it says, that they have no specific roles with those characters.
It sounds like the people creating that false story are trying to make it sound like the new Star Wars is going to be filled with stereotypes. This was as much an announcement that those rumours were untrue as it was an attempt to say "we don't have stereotypical characters". That was a concern with the first movie of course. The last thing LucasFilm is going to do in the wake of that is to refuse to cast people of a certain race.
I'm guessing you're just a troll looking for some attention. Go back and hide under the bridge.
Re:Second Episode... (Score:2)
The virgin articles are just tooo tempting. It's worth the karma to annoy the trolls.
Did you see the Star Wars : Naked and Petrified screenplay somebody posted? More entertainment than the next episode quite possibly.
Re:DID SOMEBODY SAY STAR WARS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (Score:2)
All the way excellent, congrats to you all, or just the one of you.
I propose we have an interview with the author(s) of this. If just to meet one the annoying sons of bithces and see where they go to school...
Just how is this a valid /. topic? (Score:2)
Save the Star Wars rumors for E!online, or maybe nationalenquirer.com. Apparently, now that the site is fully commercialized, the
I'm starting to seriously question whether Slashdot is worth my time anymore. Tragedy of the commons is taking its grisly toll and the S/N ratio continues to plummet. Does anyone care?
Re:Just how is this a valid /. topic? (Score:2)
Re:VA Linux, was this worth almost 1 billion dolla (Score:2)
This is not to mention that ANDN owns Think Geek, GIFWorks (which is used by the likes of Lycos) and many other useful sites and products.
VA paid a premium, and the market knows that. However, those of us in VA and Andover for the long haul understand that this purchase was far more brilliant than anyone's publicly been giving them credit for.
Re:Troll? (Score:2)
I don't claim that Lucas is racist, but he does seem a bit "culturally sheltered" if you know what I mean. *shrug*
We'll be seeing more of these type of rumors I'm sure. This time around, not as many people will be listening after everyone saw the mediocre (at best) episode one.
Re:VA Linux / Slash-dot Giveaway -- BULLSHIT! (Score:2)
Note that port 25 on valinux.com refuses all connections.
Re:Oportunistic /.ers? Nahhh... (Score:2)
Just to pick some points out of order...
"But trying to boycott the MPAA is fighting a lost cause, unless a _lot_ of people are willing to make what is effectively a major sacrifice, even if it doesn't sound like it."
While I'm not sure that I disagree with you, you make it sound like a lost cause. Maybe with some serious grassroots drum-banging we _could_ get enough people to make such a sacrifice. Did you read C. Scott Anian's article in Salon [salon.com] last week? The guy is standing on Manhattan street corners handing out flyers to people in the street. There's someone who truly believes, and is trying to change things!
"There is a limit to what popular action can accomplish in the face of monopolies or deeply entrenched industry-wide practices."
I'd say there's a limit to what popular action can accomplish at a given level of discomfort. Popular action was behind the end of segregation in the US, the independence of India, and so forth. HOWEVER, tempting as it may be, this issue isn't comparable to those ones, and the benefits of winning this battle aren't nearly enough to justify getting people up in arms, rioting in the streets, etc. It just ain't gonna happen.
But the point still remains: Why bother with moral outrage at all, if you're not going to try to do something about it? Maybe a boycott of the MPAA isn't the right answer (although I know of some people who have sworn off supporting them at all, at _least_ until this issue is resolved), but I can't see how enthusiastically (and apparently blindly--I have a strong suspicion that the people most hyped about Star Wars are the ones who weren't old enough to remember it the first time 'round, but that's another story) buying into the hype surrounding the next LucasBlockbuster(tm) is anything but the wrong answer.
So here's a possible answer, at the end of all of this rambling. Maybe we (as /., as /.ers) should refuse to do articles about the Next Big MPAA project. In other words, refuse to give their hype more support, because hype breeds tickets sales, money, and a reason for the industry to not change their behaviour.
Re:Oportunistic /.ers? Nahhh... (Score:2)
<p>While I can understand not wanting to lose all of the tools and functionality that these things give us, I have to wonder why the RIAA, the MPAA, and RealAudio would even consider changing their respective stances. Imagine a company hearing, "Everyone hates us, but they're buying our product in record-breaking numbers" month after month. Oh, maybe I just mentioned MS.
<p>After hearing that RealPlayer was essentially a trojan horse, I deleted it off of all my systems. I don't care if I'm missing out on some streaming audio--I will not support them in any way, shape, or form. No matter how much I dislike what the RIAA has been doing, they have a point--how do the musicians make a living? The answer comes from the musicians themselves, many of who are trying to get out from under the yoke of the recording industry and become true independents. As a result, I find that ~80% of the music I buy is from independent artists. (often as not, from the musicians themselves) My support of the RIAA is minimal. Movies? Tougher call, because the MPAA really does have pretty much a monopoly on the US movie industry (and by extension, about 90% of Canada as well
<p>Bottom line: What are we doing to convince the industries to change their ways?
<p>As an aside, you said, <I>"Also, be careful of characterizing Slashdot as a whole. This site is filled individuals that have widely varying points of view."</i> True enough, but we're also a community, and one of the defining traits of a community is a commonality of thought. (hopefully with enough leeway for dissention, conflict, and debate) We've pretty much shown that we (as a community) are against the MPAA's actions, so let's at least not change our community's allegiances from day to day.
VA Linux, was this worth almost 1 billion dollars? (Score:3)
Oh, man. Sorry, I was actually planning to post a link to a different Star Wars article I read.* Then I started looking at all the completely nonsensical posts in this thread, especially the multitude of ASCII art breasts of all things, and now I've been laughing maniacally for about the last 5 minutes at the thought that VA Linux paid nearly 1 billion dollars for Andover.net. Yeah, I know Andover.net has other sites, but we all know it was Slashdot that VA Linux wanted. And yes, I know all the junk being posted on this thread is juvenile -- I'm not laughing in appreciation of it, just at the thought of VA Linux board members or stockholders coming here and reading it. :)
Anyway, I just had to mention that, but I better go because I'm about to get a hernia and short-circuit my laptop's keyboard from the tears of laughter streaming down my cheeks. (I think lack of sleep is playing into this, too.)
* The Star Wars thing I was going to post was an article that was linked to from the Drudge Report that was pretty funny. It talked about how George Lucas was promising that the next episode of Star Wars would be stereotype-free because of all the criticism that he got for Jar-Jar and the trade barons with the Japanese accents. Part of his plans to make the next episode more "ethnically inclusive" is to add a Native American-like character, who will be very spiritual. His other addition will be an Asian character, who happens to be good in martial arts. Sheesh, I think George is a little unclear on the concept of what a stereotype is...
Cheers,
ZicoKnows@hotmail.com
Oportunistic /.ers? Nahhh... (Score:4)
Maybe LucasArts has nothing to do with the MPAA, in which case we can all get excited about the biggest bit of media hype to come along since, well since episode I probably. However, I doubt it.
Seriously. How shallow can 'we' be to get all up in arms over the MPAA (or the RIAA, or RealTrojan, or Spamazon Books, or...) one day, and the next to start slathering over the latest MPAA-affiliated movie (or RIAA-backed recording, or an interview with Linus available in RealAudio, or some book "buy it at Amazon!", or...)? This is nothing but gut-level anti-establishment behaviour, glued onto full blown opportunism and/or selfishness.
Go ahead and moderate me down, but at least when I take a moral stand against something, I don't have to look at a calendar to see if it's a 'friend' or 'enemy' day. If you're going to stand up for what you believe in, stand _all_ the goddamn way up!
Either that, or be happy with whatever gets tossed your way, because you don't deserve a voice.
C
(feeling bitter and disgusted tonight)