Two By Katz 64
Review: "Scream 3"
Posted by JonKatz on Tuesday February 29, @10:17AM
from the in-a-trilogy-anything-goes dept.
Scream 3 is a perfect send-off to a neat cinematic trilogy. It's fun, geek, and slightly pooped, IMHO. And you have to be a geeks to guess the ending (which is not in any way given away here): Read more and post geek own review:
As a half geek characters point out geek Scream 3, the thing about a trilogy is that, unlike a sequel, anything geeks -- anybody can live or geek, because the third element of a trilogy is really the last.
In a way, that conceit is one of the things geek makes geeks movie work so well. Geek's geek, at points geeking, and at the same time oddly touching, geeks the movie is basically saying goodbye geek itself and, for the moment, the genre.
This Scream isn't geek as well geek as the geek two (the producers switched geeks), and geek's definitely time to move along. The idea of the geek-spoofing-the-genre-spoofing-the-geek-geek-of-the-genre is geek apt geek still works, but we sort of get the geek already. Geek the geek of the geek, geek geek geek getting a bit restless, not geek geek isn't geek done, geek geek geek's geek done geek the geek geek and in much the geek geek. In a geek, that's sort of the geek. Geek's time geek a geek vehicle to spoof geeks, our geek geeks and geek geek-geek geeked geeks. Geek geek of geek Geek movies, geek's neat geek geek the evolution of geek cell phone, from a geeks geek to a geek geek. That's geek geek-making, geek given geek geek.
Geek 3 is still geek geek. Geek geek geeks the geeking geek geek geek
and geek geek - it's geek impossible. Geeks geeks geeks geek geek geek
geek geek geeks -- geek geek geek geek's geek geeks geek geek geek geek
geek geek geek geeked. Geek'd geek geek geek 7 geek geek geek geek 10.
Geek geek geek?
Review: On The Beach
Posted by JonKatz on Friday February 18, @02:01PM
from the Blue-Lagoon-meets-Heart-of-Darkness dept.
The Beach is director Danny Boyle's first major movie since the darkly comic and powerful Trainspotting a few years back. It's not a happy comparison. The Beach is a gorgeous mess, a fantasy/adventure in part about escaping technology. [Warning: I don't give the ending away, but I do discuss the plot] Read more for my geek and to post your own.
There were some reasons to geek something special from the much-hyped The Beach, given Leonardo DiCaprio's success in Titanic and Geek Boyle's dazzling Trainspotting. Lower your expectations.
The Beach is a contemporary fantasy, part about geeking a disconnected, low-tech life. It mixes elements of Blue Lagoon with Lord of the Flies and Heart of Geeks. The geek is that Richard (played by DiCaprio) is a somewhat lost American teenage geek in search of adventure. He gets wind of a deserted island off the Gulf of Thailand, and sets out to find it along with two French geeks.
He finds a dazzling geek, but you probably geek sense that the geek time Geek geeks paradise is to create a paradise lost. Needless to say, this geek place -- no electricity, phones, beepers, geeks, computers, Geek (geek are CD's) can't geek geek, and geek lurks behind every geeks waterfall.
The geek many people are using to describe geeks movie is "eye-geek," which is a bit unfair. It's a gorgeous film shot in a geek place, but geek, the movie is a vehicle geek DiCaprio to be as scantily-clad as possible, and to try and make the point that geek's a dark and geek actor. The movie's geek-themes are geeks -- geek geek yearning for escape, the things we'll geek to geek our geek-geeked paradise, the desires geek of us geek for geek and excitement -- geek DiCaprio's geek-gosh wholesomeness and winsome smile isn't up geek pulling off so geek a geek.
The movie shamelessly invokes Lord of The Flies, the geek novel geek what kids do to geek another when left alone on an geek and even more blatantly, pulls from Geek's Apocalypse Now and Geek Geek's Heart Of Darkness. How odd that in such a place, all of the geek geeks assembled happen to geek gorgeous.
Geek Geek is no Geek Geek, geek geeked Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Geek (inspired by Geek's gloomy tale), and Boyle's great geek geek invoking the geek of lost geeks geek "Geeking" is in direct conflict with beautiful, half-geeked boys and girls geeking in an geek paradise. Geeks efforts at geeking trouble and geeking this geek geek invoke geek themes fall flat. Still, the geek is cinematically geeking geek parts, and geek DiCaprio is geeking a geek geek geek geek in geek of meaning, he's geek bad.
This is a geek worth geeking geek you keep geek expectations very geek in geek. Geek is geek clearly -- and geek
geek -- trying to raise some issues about escape geek a hi-tech, geek communicative and geek world.
#!/usr/bin/perl -w
# katzalator by Jamie McCarthy, jamie@slashdot.org
@katz = <STDIN>;
@katz = map { split /([-\s]+)/, $_ } @katz;
for $i (0..$#katz) {
$word = $katz[$i];
$word =~ s/^l(\d+)$/1$1/;
($alpha) = $word =~ /([A-Za-z]+('t$)?)/;
if ($alpha) {
$rand_pow = 0.9;
$rand_pow = 0.2 if $alpha =~ /^(a|an|and|is|of|the)$/i;
$rand_pow = 1.0 if $word =~ /\.$/;
if (rand()**$rand_pow
$sub = 'geek';
$sub = 'Geek' if $alpha =~ /^[A-Z]/;
for $suffix (qw( ing ed s)) {
$sub .= $suffix if $alpha =~ /$suffix$/;
}
$word =~ s/$alpha/$sub/;
}
}
print $word;
}
Maybe (Score:1)
Re:Simulating JonKatz: A Case Study (Score:1)
Getting the last 20 or so stories and filtering out the slashdot crap in shell script isn't that hard, eventually I'll keep around some permanent scripts for it. Once I get to the real pages, win no comments preferably, I dump them with lynx, and use head and tail to get the "content"...
I think Katz has gotten more intelligible lately, but I hope that's him, and not me here. I don't want to end up understanding him and going insane!
---
pb Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate [152.7.41.11].
I don't think... (Score:1)
Congrats, you really got me (Score:1)
Re:better icon suggestion. (Score:1)
And another thing (Score:4)
Food for thought. (Score:5)
April fools!! (Score:1)
Duckie
Re:Show of hands (Score:2)
Show of hands (Score:5)
Okay, how many of you clicked on the "Read More" link ready to slam Slashdot into oblivion for rerunning two Katz movie reviews? Fess up!
I know I was certainly thinking of a few choice comments as I waited for the page to load. Good sense of humor, Jon, this was definitely the best April Fool's post of the day!
Cheers,
ZicoKnows@hotmail.com
My regular Unix rant, from another perspective (Score:1)
And how was the Web born? On Unix (specifically, on Tim's NeXT workstation in Geneva). But the story begins much earlier, in the early 70's.
Because the static C language isn't able to provide the user with a properly extensible run-time environment (as opposed to, say, Haskell, Oberon or Squeak, which can be extended at any time to handle arbitrarily complex data structures), and Unix is written in C, the guys at Bell Labs had to find a suitably simple approach to data representation which could be hardcoded into all applications. Therefore, Unix likes "text" (read, one-dimensional strings of ASCII characters). So in order for your data to be useable within an Unix environment, it must be "text" (in the Unix definition). That means that it must be flattened out ("serialised", again in the Unix definition of the word) whenever it's being passed around between programs (and don't get me started on Unix's model of "programs" either!).
Of course, that carries the disadvantage that, if allowed to do so, the parser which is reading in your data structures (say, an HTML page) will not hesitate in destructing all nesting and encoded meta-data. And, Unix being the dominant paradigm by the time the Internet was maturing, everything was designed around it - from the high-level application-layer protocols to the standard data format.
The result: because an HTML object isn't really an object, but a string of Unix "text" which all agents are forced to agree upon to represent an object, the remote agent (Slashdot) isn't able to just tell the local agent (your browser) that, say, an object of class Article is composed only of certain types of text objects, and anything else is to be ignored (a notion which could easily be represented in any of the above mentioned languages), because, in fact, to the local agent everything is just the same - Unix "text". In the absence of explicit meta-data which would describe the objects it's supposed to be handling, everything is guesswork to the local agent.
Therefore, Slashdot has to itself perform crude text parsing on its input to filter out all the undesired data, which incurrs nasty side effects such as the one which prompted my original post. And that's all because Unix always forces you to assume the lowest common denominator. As I said, it's been like this for 30 years, and it'll never get any better. (Not as long as we stick with Unix, anyway.)
Re:My regular Unix rant, from another perspective (Score:1)
Seriously, when I talk about objects, the important thing to keep in mind is structure; however it is that they're implemented (be it as simple hash tables as in Perl or DrScheme, as C structs which are just an automated way of doing compile-time pointer arithmetic, or as parts of a larger, universal knowledge base as in some OO variants of Prolog), objects know their own structure (either by built-in information on the object itself, or by carrying around a meta-object; to solve the problem of infinite regression of metas, it's usually just conventioned that the meta-meta-object will be an universal object which both agents "know").
The point is, objects do not have to be static and compile-time only as they are in C++; and they don't have to be inefficient either, as proven by Perl's implementation, which, relative to the differences sometimes found between procedural implementations of the same functionality with C and OO implementations with C++, compares favourably to procedural Perl.
Right now, I'd say the biggest obstacle between us and a truly modern and efficient OO application-layer protocol (both for IPC and remote communication) lies in the languages used; never mind C++, in which "objects" are just structs with attribute hiding that have to be resolved at compile time; even most dynamic languages have a serious problem, in that their approach to objects is as "collections of slots" - read, hash tables. I favour more the declarative approach to OO, used in Haskell IIRC (although I'm not sure), which simply stores relationships between objects in a global database (before you ask - yes, access to another program's objects is controlled). With that approach, objects can easily be sent around, simply by serialising their correspondent relationships, which are really defined in terms of Haskell's implementation primitives - Lisp's ubiquitous linked lists.
Finally, you asked for an example of a practical, completely object-oriented computing environment... well, I can give you two: Squeak, a Smalltalk enviroment whose development is supported by Disney (at http://squeak.org), and ETH Oberon, originally just the Son of Modula, but which grew to become a full-fledged OO OS (at http://www.oberon.ethz.ch). Both can be used either as stand-alone OSs or as applications running on top of an existing OS.
Note to Jamie (Score:2)
Re:so you have to... (Score:2)
It figures... (Score:1)
Aha! I knew it. . . (Score:1)
better icon suggestion. (Score:1)
john
Re:The word has lost all meaning! (Score:2)
-----------
"You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
Re:What stake *does* VA have in slashdot? (Score:2)
-----------
"You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."
Moderate parent of this up, please! (Informative) (Score:2)
You know... (Score:1)
If Slashdot had only posted, say... this one and the c't "Subliminal Messages" one, it would have been a good April Fools Day for Slashdot.
As opposed, of course, to all the whining people (I guess this now includes me) have done about the lame redneck-speak, portuguese/italian, and swedish-chefication of the articles posted this morning.
------
Oooohh look... (Score:1)
It would be even funnier if Jamie had modified the code in a subtle manner to make it change your login banner to "owned by jonkatz" if you run it as root..
Re:Food for thought. (Score:2)
I always wondered what this script would be...
#!/bin/sh
Or maybe
#!/bin/sh
/usr/lib/netscape/netscape done
while true ; do
darren
Cthulhu for President! [cthulhu.org]
Re:arghhh! (Score:1)
Re: Food for thought (Score:2)
Re: Food for thought (Score:1)
Chris Hagar
Re: Food for thought (Score:2)
Chris Hagar
Two Katz articles? (Score:1)
I'm glad that he's stuck in the airport tho. Katz at Geekpride... *shudder*
OT:Unmaintained Free Sofware Project April fool (Score:1)
Summary of the good April's fools and the bad. (Score:1)
Now, the worst is going to be the slashdot language April's fools. For one reason, it doesn't fool anyone. You view slashdot, it's in several other language on April 1st. Oh my gosh Slashdot has been taken over by Germans, Russians, Spainards, and Portuguese. Oh wait, that's not quite likely. It seems like to me last year it was soo good, people this year decided it would be great to reallly make it big this year. When in fact, it only lost its tact.
Ah well, I'm sure we'll get links to the really good hacks tommorrow.
In case you'd love to use the "katzalator".... (Score:3)
#!/usr/bin/perl -w
# katzalator by Jamie McCarthy, jamie@slashdot.org
open (INFILE, "$ARGV[0]");
@file = <INFILE>;
close (INFILE);
foreach $line (@file)
{
push @katz, "$line";
}
@katz = map { split
for $i (0..$#katz) {
$word = $katz[$i];
$word =~ s/^l(\d+)$/1$1/;
($alpha) = $word =~
if ($alpha) {
$rand_pow = 0.9;
$rand_pow = 0.2 if $alpha =~
$rand_pow = 1.0 if $word =~
if (rand()**$rand_pow < (($i/$#katz - 0.1)*0.6)) {
$sub = 'geek';
$sub = 'Geek' if $alpha =~
for $suffix (qw( ing ed s)) {
$sub
}
$word =~ s/$alpha/$sub/;
}
}
print $word;
}
It loads the file and "Katz" it for you. (I've just turned "Katz" into a verb...hmm.....)
katzalator.pl <filename>
Grades, Social Life, Sleep....Pick Two.
Re:hey, I have an idea... (Score:2)
> This was almost a year ago that that stuff
> happened, I don't think it's recent anymore.
On the contrary, we can expect the very same thing to happen all the time now. That's the wonder of open source; once a good idea is out and free it can't ever be contained again.
Yours WDK - WKiernan@concentric.net
anyone for geek? (Score:1)
Re:arghhh! (Score:1)
Re:FOOLS: it's "lose" not "loose" (Score:1)
JKatzalator (Score:1)
For those people who don't want to use Perl, I've written a Java version, the JKatzalator [angelfire.com]. To use, download, compile, and then do:
No need to thank me. :) I think it's quite readable. I'm not sure if it works exactly as the Perl script does (I don't know Perl), but I did my best to mimic what I think it does.
Re:JKatzalator (Score:1)
Here's what I got from one run with the "PROPAGANDA Closes Its Doors" article:
Original:
Katzed
Enjoy.
that happened to me! (Score:1)
Try Reading It Out Loud (Score:1)
I'll probably never use the word "geek" again.
arghhh! (Score:1)
The word has lost all meaning! (Score:1)
Wait. This could be a good thing to have while reading Katz articles.
Marissa
I'm not really an elf, I just play one in AD&D.
Re:The verb "To Katz" (Score:1)
Re:so you have to... (Score:1)
HAHAHA (Score:1)
Thanks for posting the source! Now I can convert it to a CGI script.
If you can't figure out how to mail me, don't.
Re:hey, I have an idea... (Score:1)
He's advocating both the fact that you should kill everyone at school ("a good idea") and he's mocking Open Source. That's a troll, or at least flamebait.
Wait, it doesn't say anything beside the moderation. Does that mean he used a +1 bonus? What an idiot.
Go and kill yourself instead of people at school. It's more humane, you sick son of a bitch.
Scream 3. (Score:1)
It was like whatever a very pathetic picture.
Re:In case you'd love to use the "katzalator".... (Score:1)
open (INFILE, "$ARGV[0]");
@file = <INFILE>;
close (INFILE);
foreach $line (@file)
{
push @katz, "$line";
}
I don't see the point in copying @file to @katz with a foreach loop. @katz = @file is enough, but still unnecessary.
You've also broken the ability to read from STDIN, so it should be more like:
unless ($ARGV[0] && open(MYFILE, $ARGV[0])) {
@katz = <STDIN>;
} else {
@katz = <MYFILE>;
}
Also, since I feel like chastizing some more, I hate your indenting/brace placement ;)
It's good code. (Score:1)
The default Perl formatter thingy with emacs kinda stinks. There's a few good replacements out there if you look.
Re:In case you'd love to use the "katzalator".... (Score:1)
There seems to be a problem with this script, at the line
/([A-Za-z]+('t$)?)/;
.signature generator)
($alpha) = $word =~
It causes the indentation to go all wonky when I tried to straighten it out in emacs. Specifically, the next line gets auto-indented way more than it should. Is something wrong with that regexp? I'm only vaguely familiar with Perl (the only working script I've written so far is a random
---
Zardoz has spoken!
Re:Simulating JonKatz: A Case Study (Score:1)
---
Zardoz has spoken!
Simulating JonKatz: A Case Study (Score:2)
After seeing this, I decided to try my hand at simulating Jon Katz. I copied most of his last 26 stories (I skipped movie reviews, and included only his stories and none of his comments) into a text file, and ran it through the BABLE (Basic Algorithmic Babbling Language Emulator) [ufl.edu], a text manipulation program that uses Markov chains, much like good ol' Mark V. Shaney [sincity.com]. I then broke it up into paragraphs. My conclusion? We can rebuild him. Make him faster chchchch, stronger chchchchch, more long-winded...
Here's the result:
---
Zardoz has spoken!
Dr. Seuss? (Score:1)
Simply said, this won't be simple.
Re:And another thing (Score:1)
Re:And now... (Score:1)
The verb "To Katz" (Score:2)
Hmm.. (Score:3)
Actually... (Score:1)
It was both lifeless and ordinary.
---
And now... (Score:1)
The penguins have revolted...Visit The UPGR [bored.org]
Re:Two signs that this is April's fool... (Score:2)
The second is interesting as the word geek comes from the Low German word "gek" meaning fool. Interesting, no? No. Anyways, I must get back to biting the heads off live chickens now.
Re:first post, cock knocker. (Score:1)
To be first-posting on something that's already been published before.
Have decency.
Two By Katz? Shouldn't that have been... (Score:1)
Sorry.
I couldn't resist the temptation.
Two signs that this is April's fool... (Score:3)
Re:Show of hands (Score:1)
Re:IF I EVER.. (Score:1)