Critics Pan Nemesis 1058
Reader NCC1701E submitted a short write-up on the movie:
"First, the executive summary: wait for the video. Now, the Gory Details, in all their splendor. I somehow received an email invitation to an advance screening to the Paramount Theater in Times Square, here in NYC. I had to wait in line for 30 minutes, and there was some confusion in swapping my email print out for a pass. But they didn't even check names against a list; it was basically first-come, first served among those who had been inveigled there through various means. In the end, there were even some empty seats. The movie itself? Basically disappointing. IMHO, the weakest entry yet in the series. Production values and special effects were excellent. And it was great to see the movie in a big theater with Dolby sound. But NEMESIS is little more than a Western type "shoot out" movie. The bad guys attack. The good guys fight back, Then, there's more attacking and more fighting back. Then it happens again. And again. You get the idea. I'm a sucker for the hokey humanism that was the hallmark of Star Trek at its best. There was very little of that on display here. In fact, there was very little in the way of a plot. Just some mildly amusing cutesy scenes, plus some murky musings about the nature vs. nuture debate re: a Picard clone. So I didn't much care for the movie. And judging by the subdued response in the theater, neither did the audience. BTW, NY audiences can be cruel. This one snickered at corny lines that weren't supposed to be funny. The phrase "derisive laughter" leaps to mind. I predict NEMESIS will be a huge box office hit. But long-time fans may be as disappointed as I was."
can't be worse than (Score:3, Funny)
Harsh criticism? (Score:2, Funny)
the WORST? (Score:5, Funny)
Then again, the plot reads like they're merging the "Picard's son" ep of TNG with the plot of Wrath of KHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN! So it just might be that bad.
The worst of the bunch? (Score:5, Funny)
"The 10th entry in the Star Trek movie franchise ... is the dullest and drabbest of the lot
So I take it that I'm not the only one who has repressed the horrible memory of seeing Star Trek V.
The Preview release (Score:3, Funny)
"It's not even a good two-parter," he sobbed.
Re:The worst of the bunch? (Score:4, Funny)
*yawn*.. (Score:5, Funny)
ENGAGE!
You're right and wrong (Score:5, Funny)
Leonard Nimoy versus William Shatner as directors -- the choice is logical.
V was so bad it made the fairly forgettable III and VI look epic and skillful. Apparently Shatner did not get to do in the climax of V what he's wanted, and if he had, the movie would have at least been funny.
Re:Wesley could have saved it with Open Source! (Score:3, Funny)
You mean Earth would have been in safe mode
Re:Worse than The Final Frontier? (Score:2, Funny)
That's, right. He is. A great actor!
*waits for a -1 under "Offtopic"*
READ THIS! Leaked portion of Nemesis script (Score:4, Funny)
RIKER: I'm so goddamned drunk I can't even see straight. Give me another gin and tonic.
PICARD: Make it so. Mr. LaForge, do you have any ideas?
GEORDI: Well, we just might be able to decouple the iambic pentameter from the refrombulatory cryo-units in order to cause a temporonucleic disturbance that just might break us free.
PICARD: Good god, Geordi, that's the craziest goddamned idea I've ever heard! No, strike that. Pure genius! Capital! Do you think we can actually make it work?
RIKER: Gin and tonic, God damn it!
GEORDI: I don't see that we have a choice, Captain. We have to try.
PICARD: Make it so. Mr. Worf, please accompany Mr. LaForge to Engineering in order to try out that crazy idea of his. And make sure to shut the watertight doors so that the water doesn't spill over the top of the bulkhead at E deck.
WORF: Roger.
WESLEY: I sure hope that this works, captain!
TROI: The fuck are *you* doing here?
[ Worf and LaForge leave bridge ]
PICARD: Data, what do you calculate our odds are at getting out of this situation alive?
DATA: I'm afraid they don't look good, Captain. The computer is claiming that they are only 5% or so.
PICARD: Jesus jumpin' Christ! I told you we should have upgraded to Mandrake 12.0.
RIKER: Who do I have to blow to get a gin and tonic around here?!?
GEORDI (on tricorder): Captain, I think we've done it! If you yell "Warp one, ENGAGE" right now, we will escape from Nemesis with approximately 0.01 seconds to spare!
PICARD: Holy moly! What are the odds? Helm, warp one, ENGAGE!
[ Enterprise zooms off. ]
[ Credits roll ]
Straight from the desk of Brannon Braga.
50%? (Score:4, Funny)
For comparison, Star Trek IX, Insurrection, got 59%. So basically, if you loved Insurrection, you'll like Nemesis. If you thought Insurrection was crap, Nemesis will make your eyes bleed.
Re:Gotta agree with Ebert... (Score:2, Funny)
Picard: Now A'm gonna get right in there with'em. Ah she's a beauty, look at the coloration.
*Romulan lunges*
Picard: CRIKEY she's mad. Calm down there, there's a good girl.
Well, I'd pay to see it...
Re:It all went downhill when Gene died (Score:2, Funny)
You can aways trust Amazon.. (Score:5, Funny)
My fave comment .... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Not a chance (Score:5, Funny)
You were looking for hard sci-fi in a Trek movie?
Isn't that like looking for filet mignon at McDonalds?
</joke>
Re:who believes critics (Score:4, Funny)
Nah, that happens in this movie [imdb.com].
Re:Can someone explain Star Trek V (Score:4, Funny)
People loathe it for many reasons, several of which include Sybok, Spock's supposed half-brother. But it's just a terrible film overall- the scene with Uhura dancing on the ridge was probably the nadir as far as I'm concerned.
However, Star Trek V did have what I thought was the best line ever delivered in a Star Trek film (well, there's a few contenders for the title, but I've always liked it): "Excuse me, but what does God need with a starship?"
Re:can't be worse than (Score:3, Funny)
I don't want my pain taken away. I NEED my pain. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The worst of the bunch? (Score:3, Funny)
Wow. Nearly-talented? You're really generous.
Re:It all went downhill when Gene died (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Not a chance (Score:5, Funny)
You were looking for hard sci-fi in a Trek movie? Isn't that like looking for filet mignon at McDonalds?
Exactly. More precisely, it's like looking for filet mignon and a nice salice salentino at McDonalds.
The idea behind Trek is that it's supposed to be fun. You want hard SF, or at least serious SF, look to Solaris (no, not that Solaris, Tarkovsky's Solaris), 2001, or Alien (maybe Pitch Black; though a lot of it smelled like warmed over Ridley Scott, it did have a good idea behind it and some very interesting performances). If the SF you want is filet mingon, remember that Trek is junk food. Filling, but lacking in sophistication.
Sulu made it! (Score:3, Funny)
I believe that in "the Undiscovered Country", cheesy as it was, Sulu did get a captaincy (sp?). Checkoff... well he probably never made it 'cause he couldn't pass his written test:
Desired Rank: Keptain Experience: Starships and Nuclear Wessels
Nuclear Wessels (Score:5, Funny)
Remember where we parked.
Ahh, the classics.
I don't even have your number.
Computer, on.
Re:the WORST? (Score:5, Funny)
NERD ALERT!! NERD ALERT!!
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
But if it did happen, here's the plot synopsis:
Star Trek V (Never Happened): God and Kirk compare egos. God loses.
Re:Worse than The Final Frontier? (Score:3, Funny)
Highlander 2 - the original release
Escape from L.A.
ahem...
Battlefield Earth I
Re:50%? (Score:2, Funny)
Anyone remember Gurney Halleck? Now there's a real sci-fi hero. "Young Pup!"
Re:Data goes wiggy? (Score:3, Funny)
Lets see you can lose the ship to:
Imagine the fun if Dr. McCoy was with Next Generation folks. "Dammit Picard this is the third time in a month you've lost the Enterprise to (insert Data/Q/Holodeck/new life form/etc. here). You're a ships captain for godsakes, not a taxi driver!"
Re:I don't want my pain taken away. I NEED my pain (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds like the marketing people at Netscape used to work for Paramount too.
Re:Too bad (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Too bad (Score:3, Funny)
In First Contact, the Borg sprouts a queen, she gets her nipples hard over Data
In First Contact, the Borg sprouts a queen, she gets her nipples hard over Data
In First Contact, the Borg sprouts a queen, she gets her nipples hard over Data
Dude, you awnsered your own question you know...
Re:The point of the movie (Score:4, Funny)
Everybody knows that alien energy beams aren't for vaporizing oceans: they're for anal probing. If species loss continues at its current rate, in 30 years nobody will be able to sit down. The ironic thing is that increased vaseline use will probably just accelerate the species loss...
Maybe it's me (Score:3, Funny)
"You get the easy missions Jean Luc."
Sure Janeway... "Now tell me Kathryn, how many lights do you see?"
"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!"
Re:Can someone explain Star Trek V (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Too bad (Score:2, Funny)
Klingon - "What do you do when you see a yellow light on the Genesis device?"
Kirk - "Slow down."
Klingon - "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat doooooooooooooooooo yoooooooooooooooooou doooooooooooooooooooo wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
JoAnn
Re:the WORST? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Too bad (Score:5, Funny)
Would this be... wait for it...
A borgasm ?
Re:Romulan Apples and Organian Oranges (Score:4, Funny)
In other words, "Enterprise" and "Babylon 5", respectively.
Re:You, AC. You're kidding, right? (Score:3, Funny)
You P'Tak!
And no I didn't look up that Klingon, so if the spelling is wrong, I don't want to hear about it!