MTV Movie Awards - Gollum's Acceptance Clip

tinderbox writes "Tolkien fansite TheOneRing.net has a Quicktime clip of Gollum - and Andy Serkis - accepting the golden popcorn for Best Visual Performance at the MTV Movie Awards. It's hysterical." No joking, this is probably the funniest acceptance speech I have ever seen. Yoda had a speech for winning "Best Fight", but it wasn't anything close to this.

MTV

[jargoone]

Remember when they used to play videos?

Re:MTV

[Servo]

My memory is a little fuzzy that far back.

Re:MTV

[yoshac]

Best Simpsons opening blackboard line ever:
"I no longer want my MTV"

Re:MTV

[duckpoopy]

I'm even older than you:
I remember when they didn't even show commercials.

Back then HBO showed movies too. Cable TV used to be good.

Re:MTV

[tiny69]

I remember the first show they started that didn't show videos, "120 Minutes". All I could think about was, "OMG!! Two whole hours without music videos!! What are they thinking!!!"

And the only commercial they showed advertised themselves, "I want my MTV!" Which was kind of funny, if you could see the commercial, you already HAD MTV!

Re:MTV

[Surlyboi]

120 minutes was mostly videos. It was their
"alternative music" show back in the early 90s.

Maybe you're thinking of something else?

Re:MTV

[LBArrettAnderson]

starts out with andy serkis: "hi everybody, my name's andy serkis, and i'm delighted to recieve this award on behalf of everybody who brought gollum to life. i can't actually blah blah blah blah blah thank you to mtv fans lotr fants and blah blah blah marriage" then gollum comes in and steals the popcorn "you're a liar and a thief! it's mine, i won it, it was me! we won because of me.... and me, mtv is my friend, my friend! you don't have any friends, nobody likes you... blah blah dobby likes me! dobby?

Re:MTV

[Svenne]

Andy Serkis: Hi every body. My name is Andy Serkis, and I'm delighted to receive this award on behalf of everybody who brought Gollum to life. Can't actually be with you this evening because we're down in New Zeeland completing more shots on Gollum for the Return of the King. I'm actually in the motion capture studio where we do a lot of Gollum. Eehmm... I would like to say a big thank you to all the MTV fans, to the Lord of the Rings fans, and to everybody who worked on Gollum. It is a complete marriage of skills-

Bad Gollum: You're a liar, and a thief. It's mine! I won it! It was me! You only won because of me!

Good Gollum: And me. MTV is my friend. My friend.

Bad Gollum: You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.

Good Gollum: Dobby likes me!

Bad Gollum: Dobby? Dobbs's a *BEEP*cking *BEEP*.

Andy Serkis: That's enough, Gollum.

Bad Gollum: Piss off, Serkis, you stupid fat worthless *BEEP* turd.

Andy Serkis: I'm not fat.

Bad Gollum: We're not gonna thank anyone, oh noo. Not you, not MTV, and not those pigs at WETA digital, or Peter Jackson my precious. Who do you think you are, you *BEEP*ng hack? Shame on you! Shame on you! Go f*BEEP* your self.

Good Gollum: Not listening. Not listening.

Bad Gollum: Frankly, nothing can compensate for the long hours and low pay and miserable experience we've had making this *BEEP*ing movie. And if you think *BEEP* you getting this top of gold popcorn is going to remotely make up for everything we've suffered, you're sadly *BEEP*ng mistaken. You're all bastards! MTV sucks! We hate you all!

Good Gollum: Good night.

Re:MTV

[eclectro]

I am not sure that he says "and not those pigs at WETA digital."

I think he says "and not those pixel pushing pigs at Weta digital."

Though I'm not sure he calls them "pigs", but something else.

Re:MTV

[Anonvmous Coward]

"It's "pixel pushing pinheads""

I heard "pin dicks".

Re:remember when.....

[Darby]

Dude,
you can't say pigfukr in front of Jesus.

Re:MTV

[daeley]

they'd pretty much decided the M in MTV didn't mean anything anymore.

Yes it does, and it rhymes with Money. :)

Better than Yoda's, IMO

[Skyshadow]

The Gollum speach was the best one of the evening. The Yoda speech was lame -- looked terrible trying to do it live, no emotion, even the jokes were flat (not unlike Episodes 1&2, come to think of it).

Re:Better than Yoda's, IMO

[Reglar_Joe]

"Speach" is used because it rhymes with "compleat."

Re:slashdot

[KDan]

It's not even an english-speaking community.

Daniel

Congrats

[CausticWindow]

Finally some real and proper glory to Weeta.

Don't care about the Oscars or the BAFTA. It's the voice of the underground subculture that counts.

Re:Congrats

[Have Blue]

MTV is an underground subculture? That must be why they play all those music videos from independent artists with an innovative sound.

Re:Congrats

[powerlord]

MTV Plays music videos?

I thought all they gave us now was awards shows, and lots of "Reality" programming.

Re:Congrats

[CausticWindow]

That "independent artist" crap is starting to get trite.

Admit it, you're secretly loving all those Justin Timberlake songs.

Re:Congrats

[Lumpy]

Huh?

MTV has been reduced to the Shiny things network.

They are as far from the underground as you possibly can get.

Hmm, when was the last time you saw a chemical brothers video on MTV.. or a TMBG video? How about something other than HIP-HOP, top 50, or pop?

MTV=lame and it has been for over 6 years now. They used to be innovative and entertaining... How about Liquid Television? Head Bangers Ball? the things that MADE MTV not the crap like TRL and the real world...

Re:Congrats

[EpsCylonB]

I'm not sure I would call the Chemical Bothers underground, they are fairly mainstream big beat dance music. And haven't had a record out for ages, so you wouldn't expect MTV to play them anyway.

Re:Congrats

[tedrlord]

Yeah, they're fairly mainstream, but not nearly mainstream enough these days. And their newest CD was released in 2002. It's just that nobody heard about it since they don't play it on the radio or MTV.

Re:Congrats

[goon america]

No, but the way they currently run probably makes them a lot more money.

Haven't you ever realized that dumb 12-14 year old girls run the economy?

Re:Congrats

[bj8rn]

Haven't you ever realized that dumb 12-14 year old girls run the economy?

Whoever made the decision to hire them was drugged or something, as the girls certainly are not doing well at their job...

Re:Congrats

[Salamander]

MTV has been lame for six years? Try fifteen, and it was only slightly un-lame before that. If you think MTV was *ever* more than a slightly less tedious than average way to pass time between classes, you're nuts.

fyi, headbanger's is back

[stego]

and playing some good stuff [lamb-of-god.com]

Re:Congrats

[duckpoopy]

This kid I work with said he likes "Industrial" music, "like Tool and Linkin Park." I just couldn't stop laughing. He hadn't heard of Throbbing Gristle or Coil or Einsturzende Neubauten.

Re:Congrats

[nathanh]

This kid I work with said he likes "Industrial" music, "like Tool and Linkin Park." I just couldn't stop laughing. He hadn't heard of Throbbing Gristle or Coil or Einsturzende Neubauten.

Similar thing happened to somebody I know. 14 year old punk told him Korn was heavy metal.

If that punk had said it to me I'd have beaten him to death with a Black Sabbath CD.

Just watch MTV for it again

[pimpybra]

All you have to do is watch MTV for another day or two... The awards show will be on about 32 times in a week.

Re:Just watch MTV for it again

[tcdk]

I would rather kiss Gollum than watch MTV for a day or two.

Oh, and download speed from theonering.net has gone from 25kbps to 1kbps during the last five minuts.

If everybody else would please stop - I'll finish my download and put it on bittorrent and emule/donkey. :-). I promiiiise. Good /.'ers. We wantss it.

Arrghh...

[avalys]

I think the editors are launching their own DOS attacks to supplement the Slashdot effect in order to get more people to subscribe. Four posts in and the server isn't even responding.

cache - http://www.streamload.com/steve/gollum_mtv

[signal914]

I've cached the 8.2MB version (highest-quality) here in my Streamload account:

http://www.streamload.com/steve/gollum_mtvawards_B band.mov [streamload.com]

Re:cache - another mirror

[traid]

http://pr0n.biz/stuff/movies/gollum_mtvawards_Bban d.mov mirrored 8 meg version on my 100mbit webserver.

Re:cache - another mirror

[imtheguru]

works aok, fast too.

clickable link [pr0n.biz]

Re:cache - http://www.streamload.com/steve/gollum_

[JaredOfEuropa]

Thanks for that... I can't play it though. Better get the latest codec. Why is it that these stupid codecs have to change every other week?

Re:cache - http://www.streamload.com/steve/gollum_

[Darby]

Better get the latest codec. Why is it that these stupid codecs have to change every other week?

Worked fine with Crossover and I haven't updated it in like 6 months.

Re:cache - http://www.streamload.com/steve/gollum_

[KDan]

Sweet+++ :-) Thanks

Daniel

... and the direct links are....

[Anonymous Coward]

[8 MB] [theonering.net]
[5.6 MB] [theonering.net]
[1 MB] [theonering.net]

Brought to you by anonymous karma-whores for peace!

MTV & LOTR

[gmuslera]

This is a good complement to the previous spoof [ifilm.com] of LOTR done in the MTV movie awards last year, that even was included in the Fellowship of the Ring DVD. I suppose that this one will be included in the DVD of the The Two Towers.

Re:MTV & LOTR

[joFFeman]

nick zedd's spoof is better [imdb.com].

Re:MTV & LOTR

[garver]

If you are referring to the one with Jack Black, it's already on the Extended version of Fellowship as an easter egg. How to access it for region 1 [dvdeastereggs.com] and region 2 [dvdeastereggs.com]. It's pretty damned funny, in a Jack Black sort of way.

The long TTT trailer is also hidden on the Extended version.

Being cynical

[Suffering Bastard]

With all due respect to CmdrTaco, I find it difficult to see much humor in watching Gollum say "fsck!" and spew a bunch of banal insults. Call me a curmudgeon, but I don't think that speech was very clever OR funny.

Okay, I'll admit I might have let out a slight "heh".

Re:Being cynical

[Flamerule]

Okay, I'll admit I might have let out a slight "heh".

That initial outburst of "... Dobby's our friend!" / "Dobby!? Dobby's a fucking fag!" (assuming that is what he was saying under the bleeps... fucking censors) had me on the floor for about half a minute. My best laugh in a week or so. Plus, I had refreshed and noticed the story just 5 minutes after it came up, so I managed to skate in right ahead of the /.-ing!

Now, gentlemen, I believe my day is complete. I think I'll take a nap and linger over my gl

What I never understand is ...

[zonix]

(assuming that is what he was saying under the bleeps... fucking censors)

This may be flamebait, but I've never understood why saying fuck has to be censored with bleeps and all that.

Maybe everybody has just gotten used to it through all the years of censoring, and have forgotten to ask themselves why? I mean, you know what he's saying right?

z

Re:What I never understand is ...

[bj8rn]

I remember an X-Files expisode, where people actually said bleep and bleeping instead of shit and fucking and the other words (I think it was because Scully was telling the story to someone else). It was quite funny.

I think the censorship is to keep kids from learning these words. Which is pointless, as at least I learned most of my *censored* vocabulary from other kids in preschool.

Re:Being cynical

[TopShelf]

And having just seen Chamber of Secrets, I'd have to agree with Gollum (not Smeagol) on that one! To be honest, that's what I was thinking while watching the movie - what a lousy Gollum knockoff...

Re:Being cynical

[waterford0069]

Okay, you're a curmudgeon.

Yoda's speech was predictable. I would see the 'jokes' lining up from about 10km away. Not very clever OR funny.

The Gollum speech was much better. They showed the duallity in Gollum really well.

• They introduced us to the general rudeness of Gollum's bad side at the beginning of the acceptance.
• They demonstrated the innocence of Gollum's good side. "Dobby's my friend"
• The venomous tirade at the end was the shock and awe. It was so wrong, but yet so right for the character of Gollum.

My wife, who is neither a StarWars nor a LotR TrueFan, gave Yoda a 'heh' - but was howling at Gollum.

Re:Being cynical

[Gudlyf]

Not to mention, you gotta love the slight dig at Michael Moore's Oscar speech ("Shame on you! Shame on you!").

To misquote Mel Brooks...

[Digital Mage]

Comedy is when you say fsck, tragedy is when I say fsck.

Re:To misquote Mel Brooks...

[wheany]

I'm pretty sure Mel Brooks has never used the word fsck.

Re:Being cynical + anyone got an unedited version?

[pointwood]

With all due respect: Taste differs. I don't there is something that everyone thinks is funny - there's nothing wierd or insightful in that, IMHO.

Personally, I found that clip absolutely hilarious - I just wish I could get hold of an "non-american" version because all those stupid beeps kinda ruins it IMHO. It's not like there's a lot of people that don't know what he's saying anyway, so what's the point? I'm glad they don't edit everything like that here.

Another question: What exactly is he saying in the

i know its karma whoring (torrent link)

[Neophytus]

and i know i dont need the karma, but could everyone who already has the vid seed the torrent [bytemonsoon.com]. Everyone else can start now :D

Re:i know its karma whoring (torrent link)

[Jucius Maximus]

OK, it's coming down at 35 K/s for me, which will grab this 8 MB .mov in no time.

There, I am seeding.

Re:i know its karma whoring (torrent link)

[p3d0]

Too many connections

Good grief, we slashdotted BitTorrent!

Seriously, isn't this what BT was supposed to prevent??

Re:i know its karma whoring (torrent link)

[acidrain69]

Well, actually they just slashdotted the host with the torrent file, not the actual distribution network. It's a small enough file, all they need to do it up the max links and put a REALLY simple HTML with a text link to the torrent file.

Re:i know its karma whoring (torrent link)

[acidrain69]

There is, but I don't quite understand how it works. And most of the time you only see it on huge servers, like Microsoft or Yahoo or Google. You get redirected to the appropriate IP to balance the load, I think it happens at the DNS level.

Re:i know its karma whoring (torrent link)

[Neophytus]

if the tracker cannt cope then downloading the torrent from another site won't help. the achilles heel of BT is the tracker :(

Erm.. no.

[PhrostyMcByte]

When this first came up on the awards, I laughed. But then gollum quickly started cussing up a storm and it ruined the humor and turned it to annoyance. Saying negative things against LOTR I'm sure I'll get modded to hell and back for this ;)

Yep

[Dr. Evil]

It wasn't very creative. Slagging Dobby was funny, but going on like that was over the top.

On the other hand, there are probably many real people who say very similar things after such award ceremonies...

I still think that although Gollum was a cool effect, the character was over-acted. They were pandering to the masses. Just imagine if Boromir had scenes where he were talking to himself about how much he wants the ring. It would be utterly stupid.

I would have been suprised if somebody tried to wr

Re:Yep

[Slowping]

I would have been suprised if somebody tried to write an acceptance speech which would have been in-character


you mean something totally obnoxious, uncreative, and unfunny like Eminem's "I got male I got male I got male I got male now you go now you go I got male I got male I got male....." ?

Re:Yep

[Naikrovek]

They were pandering to the masses.

yep, that's how companies make money. did you know that? LoTR would never have been made if it weren't for the masses, which YOU ARE A PART OF.

so yes, they did do it for the masses.

Re:Yep

[Dr. Evil]

So when Christopher Lloyd says that he always wanted to act in the Lord of the Rings, he really meant that he always thought he could make lots of money from a Lord of the Rings movie?

Ditto for Peter Jackson, the special effects people and everyone else involved.

Saying that the movie was created to make money is not quite accurate. The movie would have been stopped if they felt it couldn't make money.

And so saying that Golumn was pandering to the masses is saying that the director, actors etc, all de

Re:Erm.. no.

[anthony_dipierro]

C'mon now. Most slashdotters don't realize that this speech was scripted. They think Gollum just started going off and MTV just couldn't cut to commercial quick enough.

Ah hell...

[Realistic_Dragon]

When I started downloading the 8mb file it was running at 25K/sec - it's now down to 4K/sec and still dropping.

I hope they have a fire supression system in their sever room :o)

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

oh god

[hype7]

"peter jackson, you ****ing hack!!"

ROFL!! :)

That was great... does anyone have a link to the Yoda acceptance speech?

-- james

here's the .torrent

[soliaus]

http://66.209.86.84/gollum_mtvawards_Bband.mov.tor rent [66.209.86.84]

Re:here's the .torrent

[Marx_Mrvelous]

Wird, I have bittorrent installed, but Apple Quicktime keeps trying to load this file! I wonder if IE only looks at the first .extension?

Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[SlashdotLemming]

Yoda is no longer cool.
Quoting Yoda will no longer result in (5,funny), but instead (-1, Offtopic)
Appropiate Gollum quotes should now be used in place of Yoda quotes.

Re:Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[TheRaven64]

Yoda is no longer cool.

A dark day for slashdot, this is.

Re:Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[fizban]

Yesss, my preciousss, Yessssss!

Re:Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[Anonvmous Coward]

"A dark day for slashdot, this is."

Uh ohhhhh Spaghettios.

Re:Addendum to Official Slashdot Behavior Guide

[zonix]

Appropiate Gollum quotes should now be used in place of Yoda quotes.

Oh crap, you realize that quoting Gollum is a lot harder! Yoda just swaps some of the words in his sentences, but Gollum, now there's a challenge. Word mangling, hisses, not to mention the duality of his personality. Oh well!

z

alternative source

[emoeric]

you can download it off kazaa if you'd rather do that. just search for videos with the name gollum

Here's Another Download Link

[Ignorant Aardvark]

I am a mirror. Click on me. [earthlink.net] It's in .mov format, by the way.

Re:Here's Another Download Link

[Jugalator]

No access to Quicktime player have I.

And in my case, "no access to Quicktime player want I."

Grr... Someone need to hack the Sorenson codec or whatever is the usual codec for .mov files, to make it a standard DirectShow thingy that can be used in Windows Media Player / Winamp or any other player supporting those codecs.

I hate to install new players just to play a new codec. :-(

Re:Here's Another Download Link

[mabu]

Grr... Someone need to hack the Sorenson codec or whatever is the usual codec for .mov files, to make it a standard DirectShow thingy that can be used in Windows Media Player / Winamp or any other player supporting those codecs.


Hear Hear! I'm so sick of the Quicktime nagware and the way that player as well as the Realplayer continues to re-install it's spyware every time you run it regardless of the configuration settings.

People should standardize on mpeg and refuse to support all these other goofy for

Torrent

[heli0]

I see there are already a couple of mirrors, but in case they don't hold up here is a BitTorrent: Gollum%27s%20MTV%20Acceptance%20Speech.torrent [bytemonsoon.com]

Re:Torrent

[heli0]

Looks like this link was already posted. Guess that's what I get for browsing at +3.

Re:Torrent

[DFX]

thanks for raping my site :)

Re:Torrent

[Neophytus]

bahahahahahhahaha i'm just so evil. i wrote a note about it in my journal DFX. *looks about innocently*

Re:Torrent

[Neophytus]

When will it come back? I was actually seeding some other files on it :(

A .torrent slashdotted?

[Henry Stern]

Hell has frozen over. The BitTorrent server's slashdotted too!

WTF?

[anthony_dipierro]

Too many connections? What the hell is the point of bittorrent if you can have "too many connections?"

uhm....uh....

[Etrigan_696]

Sorry, I didn't notice Gollum because there was 100 HALF NAkEd LESbianS IN ThE WAy!

MTV link

[Anonymous Coward]

http://www.mtv.com/onair/movieawards/ma03/clips/

Props to Andy

[PovRayMan]

I'm especially glad they did a short intro to the speech with Andy Serkis thanking everyone. Probably most of MTV never saw the man behind gollum and I'm glad they have now.

Bleeps

[ehiris]

All I heard was bleep bleep bleep.
What's up with this bleep thing? Can't we evolve a little? All the kids know more dirty words then mature people anyway. The only thing they have to do is catch an episode of Southpark that I miss. This bleep thing just shows how big of hypocrites we all are. On the second hand maybe the bleeps got so much into life that we always assume the worst when we hear it and that's what really turns us on.

Does anyone have a text of the speech without the bleeps?

Another Torrent link

[koreth]

Since the main one seems to be down, I've put up a tracker on my server. Here's the .torrent file. [midwinter.com]

Wow, it is just so great...

[suntse]

... to be able to watch one of Tolkien's timeless characters turned into a whore for MTV.
I wish they'd never made the damn movies.

Mod Parent Up (Underrated)

[Little Brother]

Note, this is the first time I've posted a request to mod parent up or down. I am not posting as A.C. This rating was totaly unfair.

(note at the time I'm writing this post, parent is modded 0 flamebait)

Suntse is posting an opinion about how commercialism has ruined, or at least tarnished, a great literary work. Many of regaurd Tolkien's work as, if not sacred, at least worthy of respect. Many of us will also agree that commercial exploitation is a bad thing(tm) So why is this flame bait? Because the

Sssssss! Gollum!

[jd]

Yessssss, my precioussss! Wese haveses a nasssssty time on MTV! Wantssss fishhhhhh! Wants fishhhhh NOW, and keepssss those nasssty chipses! Gollum hungry. Gollum will ssssneakses up on MTV producer goblin and eatssss it!

Yeah but...

[wfrp01]

Why slashdot gave gollum billing over the skimpily clad dancing lesbians that shortly followed is beyond me. This is news for nerds, after all.

Re:Animation kinda crappy...

[malex23]

No, but you're probably the only one who thinks that decent lipsynching can be whipped out in twenty minutes for a lousy MTV special.

Personally, I was more distrubed that "Kangaroo Jack" was included in the nominees...

Re:/.ed

[djward]

There are actually 2 ways to destroy TheOneRing, apparently... casting it into the fires of Mt. Doom, and linking it on Slashdot. ...was that kinda like what you were looking for? ;)

Re:prearranged award ?

[Neophytus]

And you think acceptance speeches from half way around the world, with the award being conveniantly there for the winner, are live?

Re:prearranged award ?

[cybermace5]

How difficult would it be to do it with the golden popcorn, I mean, this is Weta we're talking about here. It's not like a cup of golden popcorn is that difficult to duplicate, I'm sure MTV would have provided enough information to make a 3D model or even sent an actual trophy. They could have made all of the nominees create an acceptance clip, possibly paying them for it. It would be obvious anyone that an acceptance clip would have to be prerecorded, so I'm sure that all the nominees would have one.

Howev

Re:so so...

[wo1verin3]

>> gc@a20p gc $ rm gollum_mtvawards_Bband.mov

Well thats the problem right there, you're watching it on an IBM computer!

Re:One Guy's Opinion

[soliaus]

Todays culture is more accepting to the usage of curse words in the media, atleast most of the younger people are. Some people would see this as something bad, but if you really think about it it is a good thing. How? Simple, it encourages and supports the fact that openness is becoming a reality in todays culture. Yes, that is a good thing

Not only does Jesus save, he makes nightly off-site backups.
He uses NTFS though, so whats the point?

Re:I don't want to install quicktime

[rezza]

You can get the quicktime alternative from www.k-lite.tk. it lets you watch quicktime and realmedia movies with media player classic, a homemodded version of microsoft's media player 6 series.