U.S. Army to d00dz - We're Coming for You

Thanks to cdagobah for mentioning a post up on the America's Army game site. Executive Producer Phil DeLuca posts a message updating the community on a recent anti-hacking campaign they've initiated, and has a clear message for would-be wrongdoers. From the post: "Allow me to speak directly to the bad guys for a moment: When you get banned, know that we know and have records showing you were doing something that's a violation of terms of service, breaks your EULA, and also happens to be against the law. We know who you are, and can track down where you play from. We have incontrovertible proof you did something illegal. The Army is angry, and we're coming for you. "

YEA!!

[Squatchman]

.... and we know you have weapons of mass destruction hidden somewhere! Come Clean!

Give me a fucking break...

[EnronHaliburton2004]

We know who you are, and can track down...
The Army is angry, and we're coming for you.

Nice to see that the Army is doing something useful. I wouldn't want any of these teenagers walking around the streets.

First they break the EULA, next they're killing babies. Gotta stop this evil when it starts!

They don't know the "extend" of what we know

[pnice]

They dont know the extend of what we know, and moreover how we know it. They used up all the knowledge that could have been put towards proofreading.

but...

[Moustache N Tits]

... will the army rangers who come to arrest me use techniques they learned in the game? Will they all be little camping sniper whores? how many grenades do they get (or am I thinking too much CS here...)??? I took the tutorial, I think I can hold my own.

You can get anything you want

[quandrum]

It's illegal? They're coming after you? What they really mean is if you try and join the army, the future will look like this.

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I just got a temp ban from the official servers." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" And I said, "Wallhacking." And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench.

Re:Give me a fucking break...

[Ayaress]

These aren't just teenagers. These are cheaters, trolls, and in general, assholes. Nothing the army will do to them will fit their sins. I for one would endorse a policy involving locking them in cages with silver back gorillas overnight, but that's considered cruel, and gorrillas are expensive, so I guess this is better than nothing.

Call the marines

[Usquebaugh]

Dear GI Joe,

wake up and smell the coffe, war is not about obeying rules. It's about winnning.

The US army is going to use lawyers because it cannot police it's own servers. I do so look forward to you explaining that to the press.

Given that once again the US Army cannot deal with problems in a rational, pragmnatic and effective manner I suggest you always do what the army does in this situation. Call for the marines.

This might be a good thing...

[Datamonstar]

Cause we all know that only terrorists cheat at online games...

yeah, geez!

[cbrichar]

c'mon guys, this is war! Play fair!

Speaking of proof

[Henry V .009]

We have incontrovertible proof...

Raise your hand if you've heard that one before [slashdot.org].

Re:Give me a fucking break...

[crazyphilman]

Cruel? I'll say.

Gorilla (about midnight): "Look, old chum, I've already told you at least a dozen times that I don't happen to HAVE a Magic: The Gathering deck. I prefer chess. Now, bugger off like a good chap and let me read my Milton."

Dear army.

[arcanumas]

Dear United States Army.

I have been playing Enemy territory for some time and have noticed a lot of cheaters ,aimbots and wallhacks.

It has come to my attention that you have undertaken the role of punkbuster, only with rifles and live ammo.
Could you please um, 'solve' the problem on the Enemy terrirory servers please?

Maybe send these people to obligatory service in Iraq or something?
Thank you.

Re:YEA!!

[identity0]

Oh yeah? You and what Army?

Re:Now I'm scared

[QuantumG]

Not only are they Above The Law, but they're also Hard To Kill and I think it's obvious that these kids are Marked For Death now that the army is Out For Justice. So remember, if you mess with the army your parent's basement may well be Under Siege and you'll be standing On Deadly Ground.

That could hurt

[AvantLegion]

You thought K-line kicks were bad, see what a JDAM kick is like.

Re:YEA!!

[Jorkapp]

Obligatory Family Guy Quote:

Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school today, but some guy said I couldn't.
Peter: Oh ya? Him and what army?
Chris: The US Army!
* US Army points all guns at Peter's house *
Peter: (Shocked) Oh thats a good army.

Re:I hope they do!

[tonsofpcs]

shut them up (v.): See draft.