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Star Wars Prequels Media Movies

Water Spectacular in Episode III? 441

Posted by Zonk from the that's-something-you-don't-see-every-day dept.
An anonymous reader writes "From StarWars.com: 'With the prequel trilogy lacking in elaborate musical numbers, Aaron McBride and the rest of the Art Department were given the task to create visuals for a new spectacular in Episode III.' Lucas didn't piss off enough people with Jar-Jar?" The link is to an image of a Mon Calamari(?) woman in some sort of performance outfit. A water spectacular ala Esther Williams, perhaps?
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Water Spectacular in Episode III? More

Water Spectacular in Episode III?

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  • Water spectacular?! (Score:5, Funny)

    by bersl2 ( 689221 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:17AM (#12184994) Journal
    Somebody cue Ackbar.

  • Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

    by hyperm0g ( 867446 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:18AM (#12185005)
    It's a trap!

  • Comment removed (Score:5, Informative)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:19AM (#12185010)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion

    • Re:Mon Calamar (Score:5, Funny)

      by Fjornir ( 516960 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:23AM (#12185040)
      Why would a humanoid squid have breasts?

    • Re:Mon Calamar (Score:5, Funny)

      by C10H14N2 ( 640033 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:52AM (#12185495)
      Actually, it would be "mon calmar."

      "Calamari" is Italian.

      Proof yet again that Lucas is a pretentious know-nothing hack. "Mon Calamari," being a bastardization of both French and Italian isn't, even forgiving that, gramatically correct as it uses a singular possessive with a plural noun. Lucas, you ignorant slut...

      • Re:Mon Calamar (Score:3, Insightful)

        by gl4ss ( 559668 )
        well, lucas is a hack, but he can call his own creations whatever he wants.

        it's not like some guys in space far far away would have heard anything about earthly languages anyways..

  • Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)

    by teiresias ( 101481 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:19AM (#12185015)
    and nothing says that like a musical number. Get those legs up padiwans!

    • Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)

      by Seumas ( 6865 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:55AM (#12185262)
      As someone who couldn't care less about Star Wars, I have to say I am really loving Lucas. The more he and others bastardize Star Wars (darth potato happy meal figure!) the more pissed off and upset Star Wars gits become. It's great entertainment.

      I hope Lucas continues to screw with various Star Wars bits far into the future. Maybe redo all six episodes with some new technology and add/remove things. Maybe replace all the light sabers with walkie-talkies, ala Spielberg's ET. And if he does the next three movies, it'll give us another decade of pure enjoyment watching all these guys growing into their 50s, still bemoaning the more raping of their "childhood" by Lucas.

      Pure gold. Pure frigging gold!

      • Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:18AM (#12185371)
        I agree with this post. As a long time fan of the, far superior, Star Trek: The Next Generation franchise, I have to say that it brings me great joy watching the idiots who believe in a fantasy get upset over the desecration of their childlike vision of the universe. There is no predestined "chosen one" as the Star Wars series seems to fixate on. In reality, the people who are vaunted as the "chosen ones" are typically egomaniacs or members of the elite ruling class. These people have no interest in really helping the common man. They only pay lip service to those functions of their position. The pope is our most recent example of this fallacy. The only way for humans to evolve to the next level is for us to put away greed and fear. Once those negative traits are eliminated from humanity, we will make the next step to being a new kind of human. This is what the Star Trek franchise is all about. It is a celebration of what man CAN be. Not a child's fantasy about far away, great places with noblemen. So, for those of you with a brain, put away your childish fantasies of the Star Wars joke and instead broaden your minds to the maturity and integrity of the Star Trek universe. If you want role models, there are plenty of great ones in Trek:

        1. Captain James T. Kirk
        2. Scotty
        3. Spock
        4. Data (I relate to him the most as I really consider myself to be more a machine than a human)
        5. Captain Jean-Luc Picard
        6. Captain Katherine Janeway
        7. Tuvok

        If you model your life after any of these characters you will server yourself much better than if you try to become Anakin or Luke. Wake up people. Star Wars is a joke that only pathetic losers are into. Star Trek is for those of us who have grown up and have an open mind to reality instead of fiction.

        • Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Insightful)

          by secolactico ( 519805 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @03:16AM (#12185587) Journal
          A Star Trek fan (Trekky? trekker?) telling Star Wars fan to go get a life.

          Only on slashdot.

          But you do have a point. Let's stop looking for role model in blockbusters or almost any movie in general.

          Star Wars is entertainment. Cool coreographed battles. Lots of special effects. Plotlines that have been done many times over.

          Let's watch and enjoy the movie. But don't go looking for the meaning of life on them (insert Monty Python joke here). Same goes for Star Trek, the Matrix and The Lord of the Rings.

        • Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)

          by coaxial ( 28297 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @12:27PM (#12187903) Homepage
          Where's Quark? Nothing epitimizes rising above greed and fear more than Quark. I know he's not human, but I relate to him because I too like to be surrounded by naked women chewing my food and spitting it in my my mouth.

    • Re:Ep 3 was suppose to be dark and gritty (Score:5, Funny)

      by Haeleth ( 414428 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @05:37AM (#12186100) Journal
      Yes, folks, it's "Springtime for Vader"!

  • Proof (Score:5, Insightful)

    by CypherXero ( 798440 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:20AM (#12185019) Homepage
    Further proof that George Lucas has lost his mind...actually, he can stop with the proof now, this is like the 200th thing so far...
    • omg... quit bitching!

      Let's see the movie first.

      Of course, I predict the next Slashdot meme to be "WTFM".

      • Re:Proof (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Karma Farmer ( 595141 )
        omg... quit bitching! Let's see the movie first.

        I saw "Phantom Menace" and I immediately wanted my $10 back. Why the hell would I ever give Lucas another dime as long as I live?

        The movie may or may not suck. I assure you I will never know for myself.

        (Here's my prediction -- if you paid money in the theaters to see Clones, you will probably pay to see this one too. If you skipped clones, you'll skip this one too. You may or may not enjoy watching this movie. You will eat too much popcorn.)

  • It's like.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by OmgTEHMATRICKS ( 836103 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:20AM (#12185020) Journal
    It's like Lucas, Michael Jackson, and the guys who did the Matrix Reloaded rave got together and brainstormed. If that's even physically possible.

  • Better obligatory (Score:4, Funny)

    by FuturePastNow ( 836765 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:20AM (#12185022)
    It's a boob!

  • Imperial Skinny Dipping (Score:5, Funny)

    by Ohreally_factor ( 593551 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:21AM (#12185026) Journal
    That's not a moon!

  • Prior Art Ripoff (Score:3, Funny)

    by Barkmullz ( 594479 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:22AM (#12185035)

    That is the most blatant example [ucsd.edu] of a prior art rip-off I have even seen...

  • What kind of software is used for high budget special effects like those seen in the latest Star Wars and well every other movie? What OS, and if Linux, is Blender capable of this?

    • Re:How do they do this? (Score:5, Informative)

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:42AM (#12185180)
      Well, if you need to ask you can't afford it, so I'm guessing this is curiosity. The companies that make this software will make a custom installation for the needs of one moviehouse -- and often a single movie. The price of the software will include n techs working for you throughout the life of the project, training for your artists, and so on... Basically hiring a software team to complement your software team to and work subordinate to the true artists.

      Most often you'll be looking at Mac workstations (a recent change from SGI) and linux for the renderfarm (often SGI in the past as well, but SGI had less of a stranglehold outside of the workstation).

      Yes, you could do this with Linux and Blender provided you had a full-time development team to tweak Blender to do exactly what you want, a big enough cluster to render a single preview frame fast enough that the artist doesn't loose their rythm, and another full-time development team working on the tools to move the objects (plot the arc for the ball when it's thrown, and so on).

      • Actually only the texture artists use macs, even at Pixar. Most animation and effects work is done on either linux or windows based pcs. Remember the graphics card in your standard power mac is still nothing compared to the really highend 3d accelerators used in professional studios. Though this may change as time passes.

    • Re:How do they do this? (Score:5, Informative)

      by albieomoss ( 770819 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:45AM (#12185211) Homepage
      I love Blender to death but it is by no means capable of the kind of effects you are seeing now in films. I'd say most movie special effects are done in Maya right now. The MEL scripting makes it very easy to program custom behavior and huge crowd scenes like those in The Lord of the Rings. Some studios use Softimage|XSI, some, like Pixar, use custom software developed in house to work on their computer systems. But I'm just talking about 3D animation packages, half of it is the compositing software. As far as OS goes it varies. You'll probably see a lot of Irix and UNIX boxes. Lots of clusters. Render Farms.

      • Re:How do they do this? (Score:4, Informative)

        by jackbird ( 721605 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @12:10PM (#12187801)
        Most big shops largely use Maya, but not as much more than a plugin loader for custom code that handles most aspects of the pipeline, and tons of custom MEL to handle routine tasks, so it's hard to say with a straight face that most film effects shots are "done in" any package. They'll also split a shot between several applications/renderers sometimes, though, to get the strengths of each (a few shots in the Incredibles used 3ds max with the Brazil renderer, for example, for generating matte paintings - and this is at Pixar, the home of Renderman).

        Smaller shops might use more (but still not entirely) off-the-shelf Maya, XSI, max, Houdini, Lightwave, etc. seats, to get the job done.

        I think very few places use blender at all, however(other than the FX house that wrote most of it) because its UI and workflow are so very different than most other 3D packages, which makes it harder to throw extra artists at a particularly big job or farm out work.

        You also see less and less IRIX around, as the SGI hardware is becoming hopelessly outdated. Hence the interest in Linux by the big studios.

    • Re:How do they do this? (Score:5, Informative)

      by The boojum ( 70419 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:35AM (#12185438)
      Often some combination of Maya on the front-end with lots of custom scripts is used to generate RIB data which is rendered by a RenderMan interface compliant renderer. You won't get PRMan (Pixar's implementation) very cheaply, but there some other good implentations. You may still be able to dig up a copy of the Blue Moon Rendering Tools (BMRT) somewhere. RenderDotC [dotcsw.com] has a resolution limited evaluation version. There's also Aqsis [aqsis.com] and which is GPL, but I haven't used it so I can't really speak on its quality or how complete it is. Pixie [berkeley.edu] is another GPL renderer which seems pretty cool. All of them can run on Linux.

      Part of the reason that RenderMan renderers are so popular is that they let you write custom shader scripts which they interpret to shade and deform the geometry. It's kind of the equivalent of GPU pixel and vertex shaders (which are partly inspired by RenderMan, by the way.)

      If you want books, Advanced RenderMan [amazon.com] is excellent. (My copy is well worn.) The RenderMan Repository [renderman.org] has some examples and some good basic information on RenderMan. They also have a nice collection of PDF's of the course notes [renderman.org] from the RenderMan SIGGRAPH courses over the years. Those typically have chapters by folks from the studios describing how they accomplished certain effects. I highly recommend it for getting the flavor of the the thing. Lastly, there's the RenderMan spec [pixar.com] itself from Pixar, though I certainly wouldn't recommend it as an introduction to all this.

      My suggestion to start trying this stuff out would be too Google for RIB export scripts/plugins for Blender (I know they exists, but I don't use Blender), grab one of the GPL renderers out there and pick up a copy of Advanced RenderMan to start learning the shading language. Good luck!

  • Even more frightening... (Score:4, Funny)

    by Lars T. ( 470328 ) <Lars.TraegerNO@SPAMgooglemail.com> on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:24AM (#12185046) Journal
    The "previous image" shows a vehicle with wheels.

  • OK (Score:2)

    by kamapuaa ( 555446 )
    The dancing aliens fit into "Return of the Jedi" pretty well, at least in the original version (the muppet playing harmonica in the revised version was too goofy). So it could work, who knows?

  • That suit's about as useful as. . . (Score:5, Funny)

    by kfg ( 145172 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:25AM (#12185056)
    . . .tits on a squid.

    KFG

  • No imagination (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:28AM (#12185075)
    Why do all female aliens have boobs?

    • Re:No imagination (Score:5, Insightful)

      by NitsujTPU ( 19263 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:42AM (#12185177)
      For that matter, why are they humanoid.

      What if there were just giant planets inhabitted by slime-mold, or intelligent creatures that just didn't give a damn, and so they never developed useful society?

      Where the hell is Planet Hollywood!?!

      Why do these creatures want to form governments anyway. With drastically different evolutionary timelines, one creature has propably evolved past war, another so evolved that all of the others seem more like suitable pets, another so unevolved that it's unaware that the others exist.

      Why do people in the future right with light sabers?

      Why do people in the future fight in person, if there are autonomous robots capable of doing so?

      Why do space ships need pilots at the helm rather than computers?

      Why is future technology so bad it always needs fixing?

      Why does C3P0 handle machinery with his hands, rather than some sort of networking?

      When R2D2 connects with machinery, why isn't it wirelessly? Why does it require physical manipulation? For that matter, when he's in Cloud City, why does he move so slowly when hacking into that computer, how many bits could he really encode a second through physical manipulation?

      Probably, because it makes a better movie. My bet is that, if we ever talk to life somewhere else in the universe, that they are literally nothing like us. It won't be humanoids in space suits breathing nitrogen... it will be giant amoebas in polymer bags that prevent them from splashing apart in the low atmosphere of the earth.

      • Re:No imagination (Score:5, Funny)

        by Cryptnotic ( 154382 ) * on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:00AM (#12185295)
        Probably, because it makes a better movie.

        Bingo!

        Don't you feel silly for typing all that?
      • OK...I will take a shot.

        For that matter, why are they humanoid.

        Sexual attraction to the characters in the movie may increase the likelyhood they will be liked. Although Alf [wikipedia.org] may prove this to be untrue.

        What if there were just giant planets inhabitted by slime-mold, or intelligent creatures that just didn't give a damn, and so they never developed useful society?

        While it may possible that all *giant* planets have nothing other than slime-mold it does not eliminate all other forms of intelligent lif
    • Why are all the intelligent aliens humanoid? Because it's Lucas.
    • Funny, i don't remember seeing any on the alien queen in Aliens.

    • Re:No imagination (Score:5, Funny)

      by Sloppy ( 14984 ) * on Saturday April 09, 2005 @03:39AM (#12185708) Homepage Journal
      Why do all female aliens have boobs?
      So you have something to look at while you're talking to them?
    • Because in Earth-based biology females traditionally care for the young (at least in mammalian organisms). So, breasts are required for feeding the young. And since these "aliens" are invented by Earthly mammals, well, you get the idea.

      But what I'd like to know, is why the hell to egg-laying aliens in sci-fi have breasts?! On Earth, egg-laying organisms don't nerse their young! WTF?!

  • Not only is this a downright stupid idea on any number of levels, the linked image looks oddly similar to the Diva Plavalaguna from The Fifth Element, except with more exposed skin.

    Now if they were getting Carrie Fisher to do it at age 50, or however old she is these days, that'd be sweet. :)

  • Porno Spectacular? (Score:5, Funny)

    by NitsujTPU ( 19263 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:31AM (#12185095)
    Forget the water spectacular. This phallic image [starwars.com] is sure to have feminists commenting the male dominated society that the Rebels promote.
  • Isn't that the same type ofalien who piloted the Falcon when Solo was away? (I forget which movie now..)
    • Yes, he is a top ace pilot from Rogue squadron. Also note Admiral Ackbar, a chief strategist of rebels is a mon calamari and calamari class cruisers, of which the Liberty is most excellent, are backbone of aliance fleet. This race is essential for SW universe history.
    • No. The standins for Han and Chewie were Lando Calrissian and some weird-looking guy with about 3 sets of lips. The name of his species escapes me, but he was most definitely not Mon Calamari.

  • It's on the trailer (Score:5, Informative)

    by cy_a253 ( 713262 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:40AM (#12185161)
    You can briefly see the water dancing after about 1/4 of the length of the trailer, after Obi-Wan says "We are at war, Anakin".

    http://www.starwars.com/ [starwars.com]

  • Fits With Classic Trilogy (Score:5, Informative)

    by goMac2500 ( 741295 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:42AM (#12185174)
    I hate to show my Star Wars geek side but...

    The dancer shown is a Mon Calamari. They were very important in Return of the Jedi. The giant pod looking ships in the Rebel fleet were Mon Calamari Star Cruisers, and the attack was led by Admiral Ackbar, a Mon Calamari. You can see him in Return of the Jedi. Admiral Ackbar also made a cameo in the X-Wing game. He's the guy who orders "Launch the X-Wing fighters!" (I loved the game, what can I say).

    So, Lucas isn't pulling this out of his ass. It is consistent with Episode 6. Whether or not having a Mon Calamari dance is a good idea, thats a different story.

    • Re:Fits With Classic Trilogy (Score:4, Funny)

      by otis wildflower ( 4889 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @01:51AM (#12185240) Homepage
      The dancer shown is a Mon Calamari. They were very important in Return of the Jedi. The giant pod looking ships in the Rebel fleet were Mon Calamari Star Cruisers, and the attack was led by Admiral Ackbar, a Mon Calamari. You can see him in Return of the Jedi. Admiral Ackbar also made a cameo in the X-Wing game. He's the guy who orders "Launch the X-Wing fighters!" (I loved the game, what can I say).

      But the most important question is...

      Cocktail, Marinara, or Garlic sauce?

      IT'S A TRAP!!!!!!!!

  • It's a watery tart.... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:02AM (#12185304)
    Does she hand out lightsabres?

  • Bring back the bar band (Score:5, Insightful)

    by planckscale ( 579258 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:05AM (#12185323) Journal
    I know it's too late now but I wish Lucas would have spent just a fraction of his budget on location shoots and puppets. Bring back the puppet bar band from the first Star Wars movie. I swear, all this blue screen green screen crap will make this next movie crap. Instead of spending 20mil on a fiber optic digital rendering, spend 10 mil and spend the rest on an actual location shoot. Don't expect to see real dirt when someone falls on the ground. Nor real grass, real fog, or real water. It'll all just be some digital rendering. Even though that trash compactor in the first movie looked kind of fake, at least the actors hair would get wet and princess lea's makeup would run. These water willy extravaganzas will be entertaining maybe but half the fun of the first star wars was the "that's clever" factor; now it's just adventure-less story telling, set on a sterile lifeless digital backdrop. I guess a dollar doesn't go as far anymore but I can't blame Lucas wants to sit in a studio with a mochachino and watch a plasma screen instead of spending a week in the Gobi desert. Oh well, at least I still have the Clone Wars animated series DVD to look forward to.

  • I told you, darling... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Jonathan Burns ( 717637 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:13AM (#12185355)

    no capes!

  • Say it isn't so... (Score:4, Funny)

    by Neopoleon ( 874543 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:14AM (#12185357) Homepage
    George murdered my childhood with Episode I.

    Then he dug up the corpse and slapped it around a bit for Episode II.

    Now it looks like he's preparing to dig it up once more to further defile its memory by fucking it right in the mouth with a god damned water sequence in Episode III.

    Somebody should have taken his camera away after the first Ewok adventure was shot.

    I mean, anybody could have made that mistake once... But *twice*?

    There is no excuse.
    • Just a small, insignificant, negligible suggestion: DON'T BOTHER WATCHING IT IF YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO HATE IT. Stick with yout memories, age well, live long and prosper. I for one don't want to see IV, V and VI remade for a new generation, I want to see the story GL wants to tell. Whether I like it or not, I'm in no position to blame a filmmaker for destroying my childhood.
      • "DON'T BOTHER WATCHING IT IF YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO HATE IT."

        My dear, angry friend...

        What I want/believe/etc. is irrelevant here.

        Most junkies know that smack isn't good for 'em, and yet they continue to intravenously inject concoctions of questionable purity into their bodies, risking things like Parkinsonian conditions, sickness, and good old fashioned death all for the possibility of feeling That High again.

        I know George Lucas isn't good for me, but I keep duping myself into believing that he's fina

  • For the love of god... (Score:3, Funny)

    by Lord_Dweomer ( 648696 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:19AM (#12185377) Homepage
    Oh please.....for the love of God George......

    NOBODY LOOK! It's a trap!

  • Stop all yer belly-ache'n (Score:5, Insightful)

    by pdxdada ( 684092 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @02:24AM (#12185397) Homepage
    What absolutely kills me about the Star Wars prequels is that despite all the bitching and moaning I read here about Jar-Jar, and the excessive digital effects and bad dialog and whatever, episodes one and two have still grossed over 1.5 billion. Everyone I know who actually cares enough one way or the other to bitch about the movies has seen both multiple times. I personally feel, and this may just be me, that after you've paid to see a movie for the fifth time you lose the right to complain about how bad it is. So lets just all calm down here and if you don't think you're going to like the Episode III, this may seem drastic, but do keep in mind you're free not not to watch it.
    • What absolutely kills me about the Star Wars prequels is that despite all the bitching and moaning........Everyone I know who actually cares enough one way or the other to bitch about the movies has [still] seen both multiple times.

      You mean Star Wars is the Microsoft Windows of Sci Fi?

  • Natalie Portman (Score:3, Funny)

    by isny ( 681711 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @08:56AM (#12186818) Homepage
    Slashdot has really gone downhill when Admiral Ackbar in a swimsuit makes the front page before this [starwars.com] does... Bring on the grits!

  • George Lucas == Andy Kaufman? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Logic Bomb ( 122875 ) on Saturday April 09, 2005 @12:35PM (#12187940)
    Ok, obviously not. But even though all his public statements make it seem like Lucas really takes Star Wars seriously, I wonder if really he's laughing his @$$ off as he purposely makes fans get crazy upset. It's just the sort of emotional manipulation Andy Kaufman thought was hilarious. It's not like Lucas has to worry about commercial success. People are going to see this movie no matter how awful it is, and even if it's a total flop Lucas is, shall we say, "independently wealthy". Anyone else get the feeling he's just having a good time screwing with people?

  • ... just.... stupid... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Spy der Mann ( 805235 ) <spydermann.slash ... com minus distro> on Saturday April 09, 2005 @03:19PM (#12188779) Homepage Journal
    Can anybody tell me why the **** a fish woman has BREASTS? OK the hyperspace stuff, the droids, the lightsabers are tolerable to the logical mind. But THIS?

    And I thought the Startrek sequels were bad...

  • Riddle me this (Score:3, Insightful)

    by LPetrazickis ( 557952 ) <leo,petr+slashdot&gmail,com> on Sunday April 10, 2005 @10:41PM (#12197588) Homepage Journal
    Okay, WTF does an amphibian have lumps that look a lot like mammalian breasts? Someone ought to pound some biology into Lucas' orifices.

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