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George Carlin Dead of Heart Failure 583

ashamanq was one of many who noted that comedian George Carlin has died of heart failure. Most famous for his "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" routine which resulted in a landmark supreme court ruling, he was a true voice against censorship, and also one of the funniest men ever. He was 71.
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George Carlin Dead of Heart Failure

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  • by davidpack01 ( 580365 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:51AM (#23902033)
    I think he's up there now, smiling down at us.
    • Re:Smiling down. (Score:4, Insightful)

      by suso ( 153703 ) * on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:54AM (#23902043) Homepage Journal

      Um, I think you mean. May his body decay into the earth as nicely as fucking possible.

      Anyone who mentions "up there", "god", or "soul" in this article should be modded down.

      • by Gordonjcp ( 186804 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:05AM (#23902181) Homepage

        Obviously, his soul is smiling down from Joe Pesci's roof, where it got stuck.

        • by oneiros27 ( 46144 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:34AM (#23902529) Homepage

          And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.

          So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.

          For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.

          So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.

          --George Carlin

      • Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Informative)

        by cayenne8 ( 626475 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:05AM (#23902189) Homepage Journal
        "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

        --George Carlin

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by Pvt_Ryan ( 1102363 )
        He is officially an Ex-Carlin
      • Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Informative)

        by sorak ( 246725 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:23AM (#23902387)

        Um, I think you mean. May his body decay into the earth as nicely as fucking possible.

        Anyone who mentions "up there", "god", or "soul" in this article should be modded down.

        Hey, George Carlin has a bit about that phrase. GP's reference is not disrespectful.
      • by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:47AM (#23902693)

        Reminds me of Vonnegut talking about Asimov:

        I am honorary president of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great, spectacularly prolific writer and scientist, Dr. Isaac Asimov in that essentially functionless capacity. At an A.H.A. memorial service for my predecessor I said, "Isaac is up in Heaven now." That was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of humanists. It rolled them in the aisles. Mirth! Several minutes had to pass before something resemble solemnity could be restored.

      • "Greetings my excellent friends!" Rufus

        "George and Sam exceeded my expectations of simple humans." GODDDD

        The 4D GoDDDD will always be greater than the parochial 3D GoDDD, never as shallow as the 2D GoDD, and really the 1D GoD is just a human word/acronym sort of thing meaning Go-Dogma and totally open to local interpretation/spin.

        "Dogma affected never reason effective." Oldhawk777

        Final words: "Party on and be excellent to one another." George

        George was one of the best of US with the "Right Stuff". %~G

        Sanity by mandate is highly over-rated by US.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by harks ( 534599 )
        Mr Conductor has gone to that great train station in the sky.
        • Re:Smiling down. (Score:5, Interesting)

          by CastrTroy ( 595695 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @11:06AM (#23903671) Homepage
          Isn't that the funniest thing about this guy? His comedy routine is quite vulgar, and not anything for children to see, yet he did some time playing Mr. Conductor on the Thomas the Tank Engine show. It's really weird when you think about it. Also reminds me of Bob Saget. His actual stand up comedy routine stuff is quite a far stretch from his Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos stuff.
      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by phpWebber ( 693379 )

        To those who don't get the reference:
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PiZSFIVFiU [youtube.com]

        You may unsaddle your high-horse now.

      • Re:Smiling down. (Score:4, Insightful)

        by LS ( 57954 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @11:32AM (#23904031) Homepage

        First, i recognize that the GP is joking and that George Carlin was an athiest. Anyway, if this article was about a christian, would you say that "Anyone who mentions "decaying into the earth" in this article should be modded down"? Or if it was a buddhist would you attack athiestic or christian beliefs? I'm actually agnostic, but my point is that what happens after death is not decided by the beliefs of the dead, it's in the mind of the living, as no one really knows...

    • Re:Smiling down. (Score:4, Insightful)

      by thegrassyknowl ( 762218 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:54AM (#23902059)

      Excepting for the fact that he would have called you a fucking moron for even suggesting that there is an "up there".

      • by cayenne8 ( 626475 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:58AM (#23902107) Homepage Journal
        I just heard about this....man too bad. I spent much of my youth memorizing his records.

        I've only got 7 things to say about this tragic loss of one of my favorite guys for humor and social commentary:

        Shit......piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker....and tits.

        R.I.P. George.


      • by XorNand ( 517466 ) * on Monday June 23, 2008 @11:03AM (#23903649)
        I once had a first date with this *very* right wing girl I met at a party. When I picked her up, there was a typical uneasiness in the car so I switched on the radio for background noise. I immediately jumped to turn it off when I realized that I had left my Carlin CD in my CD player. She'd never heard any of his stuff and prompted me to turn it back on. I warned her that his stuff isn't for everyone but she insisted. Well, ok then...

        ::sound of audience clapping as Carlin takes the stage::

        (slight pause as he waits for the applause to die down)

        "Why... Why is it that most people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"

        That was truly one of the greatest facepalm.jpg moments of my life. Suffice to say that the rest of the evening was a bit awkward.
      • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Doctor_Jest ( 688315 )

        Even in all his rantings (he got a little less jovial after his wife died) he really didn't mock the individual specifically for believing something... he mocked the powerful, the privileged, and those who wanted to make a buck off the spritual nature of man... (the Pope included.) In other words, he poked holes in the pompous blowhards who think they know better than we do about ourselves and our own lives. If I got anything from his comedy (besides a sore side from laughing so hard), it was this: You ar

    • by TapeCutter ( 624760 ) * on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:02AM (#23902151) Journal
      "I think he's up there now, smiling down at us."

      And God is patting him on the back saying: "Thanks for trying to clear up the 10 commandments thing".
    • Re:Smiling down. (Score:4, Insightful)

      by HungSoLow ( 809760 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:04AM (#23902169)
      We need a '-1 Dumbass'
    • Re:Smiling down. (Score:4, Interesting)

      by cashman73 ( 855518 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:09AM (#23902211) Journal
      Having just watched his March 2008 HBO Special, he's certainly not, "smiling down at us." I think he's got better things to do now,...

      Jeebus, though! Tim Russert is barely in the ground and then the greatest comedy legend of all time goes belly up! This is turning into a lousy month!

      Carlin was certainly one of the best. I can remember seeing him at ODU back in the early 1990s ('93 or '94?). He was as funny then as his recent tours today. The world will be a different place without him. R.I.P., funnyman!

  • Those seven words... (Score:3, Informative)

    by sakdoctor ( 1087155 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:55AM (#23902063) Homepage

    Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits.

    Tits is now depreciated.

  • Sad :( (Score:5, Insightful)

    by TimeForGuinness ( 701731 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:55AM (#23902071) Journal
    A philosopher who was funny...he will be missed. (lifts glass) Cheers, TFG
  • by Nursie ( 632944 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:56AM (#23902077)

    He's just gone into the future to the time when the Wyld Stallyns music forms the basis of society.

  • by thegrassyknowl ( 762218 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:57AM (#23902089)

    We held a little ceremony here before. Carlin was a truly great man. A voice against censorship and generally against rampant stupidity as well.

    May his memory live long and someone crop up and continue on in his great tradition of telling the 'system' to go fuck itself.

  • by copponex ( 13876 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @08:58AM (#23902111) Homepage

    You will be missed, pal.

    "In the Bullshit Department, a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman. 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks. When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.

    Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

    But He loves you.

    He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!"

    -George Carlin

    • by elrous0 ( 869638 ) * on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:15AM (#23902273)
      One of the few comedians who stayed completely relevant over the span of many decades. He was also able to reinvent himself on several occasions, and each time very effectively. In the early 60's he was part of a vanilla Lewis and Martin-type comedy team, in the late-60's/early 70's he became a cutting edge counter-culture comic, and in the 80's he became a great comic actor. Truly amazing.

      I was watching him in Dogma [imdb.com] just this weekend. That opening with him introducing the "Jesus Wow!" campaign still cracks me up.

      He'll be missed.

  • Semantics (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Darth_brooks ( 180756 ) <clipper377&gmail,com> on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:01AM (#23902135) Homepage

    "Get 'on' the plane, get 'on' the plane..."

    "Fuck you, I'm getting *IN* the plane."

    I started listening to "Class Clown" in 3rd or 4th grade. I always liked his insight, even if he did seem to get quit bitter over the past few years. I always liked his take on growing up in Morningside Heights. He always said that saying you were from a place like Morningside Heights would get you beat up, so he liked to say he was from "White Harlem."

    His routine on "Shell Shock vs. Post Traumatic Stress-Disorder" rings very true.

    • Re:Semantics (Score:5, Informative)

      by Alzheimers ( 467217 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:13AM (#23902255)

      Good choices, though I was always a fan of the Baseball vs. Football [baseball-almanac.com] routine.

      And he's right on about Hockey: [boredatuni.com]

      Hockey comes to mind. People think hockey is a sport. It's not. Hockey is three activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around with a puck, and beating the shit out of somebody.

      RIP man.

    • by Praxx ( 918463 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:24AM (#23902411)
      His airplane bit is a classic.

      "I listen very carefully to the safety lecture, especially that part where they teach us how to use the seat belts. Imagine this, here we are, a plane full of grown human beings, many of us partially educated, and they're actually taking time out to describe the intricate workings of a belt buckle."

      "'In the unlikely event of a water landing...', Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to crashing into the ocean?!"

      "Which brings me to terminal - another unfortunate word to be used in association with air travel. And they use it all over the airport, don't they? Somehow I just can't get hungry at a place called the Terminal Snack bar. But, if you've ever eaten there, you know it IS an appropriate name."

      The great thing about Carlin is that it's obvious when he goes overboard for comedy's sake, so his comedy about the obviously overboard is always relevant. Rest in peace, George.
  • God Damnit! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by squarefish ( 561836 ) * on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:07AM (#23902195)
    I had to convince my girlfriend a few weeks ago that we should get tickets because he's one person I would really like to see before he, ahmen, dies. So we spent ~$160 for great ticket to see him at the Chicago theater on Oct. 11. I have no more words for this.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:08AM (#23902203)

    With nothing but contempt for modern humanity and politics, I highly doubt he'd want anyone to mourn.

    So I'll tell it like it is.
    Today an great man died.
    He was a foul-mouthed rat-bastard hippy conspiracy theorist.
    May his soul be blessed by whoever gives a damn.

  • by badfrog ( 45310 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:11AM (#23902233)

    Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat.
    Sixty nine assholes tied in a knot.
    Hooray, lizard shit, fuck!

  • Cock-Sucker (Score:3, Insightful)

    by pcguru19 ( 33878 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:19AM (#23902323)

    Well fuck. Who's going to call everyone on their bullshit now?

  • by wcrowe ( 94389 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:30AM (#23902479)

    "Two minutes... get your shit together..."

    May he rest in peace.

  • Words to live by (Score:5, Insightful)

    by InadequateCamel ( 515839 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:38AM (#23902583)

    He's moved on, departed from the Big Electron. He was a giant and will be missed. I have taken one of his phrases to heart:

    "Think about how stupid the average person is. Now, realise that half of them are dumber than that."

    RIP Mr Carlin.

  • by MrKaos ( 858439 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:49AM (#23902743) Journal
    Fuck the children... [youtube.com]

    RIP George, now you really are a fucking legend

  • by mlwmohawk ( 801821 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @09:57AM (#23902839)

    Don't get me wrong, I loved Carlin all my life, but one of the things that was pissing him off lately was the fact that people weren't questioning government or religion as much as they used to be, and by all measure, things are getting worse.

    Maybe this shock will wake up some people. Maybe the inevitable memorials will spark a renewal of the rebellious spirit.

    I only hope so.

    As a fellow atheist, I have come to accept that people only live on as the effect they've had on the world. For a relatively brief time in history, the world had a great jester and poet, lets all take time to remember him in or lives.

  • I'm a modern man, A man for the millennium, Digital and smoke free.

    A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

    I've been uplinked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading.

    I'm a high tech lowlife. A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker, And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

    I'm new wave but I'm old school, And my inner child is outward bound.

    I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer, Voice activated and biodegradable.

    I interface from a database, And my database is in cyberspace, So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, And from time-to-time, I'm radioactive.

    Behind the eight ball, Ahead of the curve, Riding the wave, Dodging a bullet, Pushing the envelope.

    I'm on point, On task, On message, And off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge.

    I'm in the moment, On the edge, Over the top, But under the radar.

    A high concept, Low profile, Medium range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top gun bottom feeder.

    I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.

    I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic. A working ragaholic. Out of rehab, And in denial.

    I got a personal trainer, A personal shopper, A personal assistant, And a personal agenda.

    You can't shut me up, You can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless, And I'm wireless. I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.

    I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever. Laid back but fashion forward.

    Up front, Down home, Low rent, High maintenance.

    Super size, Long lasting, High definition, Fast acting, Oven ready, And built to last.

    I'm a hands on, Foot loose, Knee jerk, Head case.

    Prematurely post traumatic, And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

    But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.

    My output is down, But my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.

    I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.

    I'm gender specific, Capital intensive, User friendly, And lactose intolerant.

    I like rough sex. I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the f word in my email, And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.

    I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane.

    I'm toll free, Bite sized, Ready to wear, And I come in all sizes.

    A fully equipped, Factory authorized, Hospital tested, Clinically proven, Scientifically formulated medical miracle.

    I've been pre-washed, Pre-cooked, Pre-heated, Pre-screened, Pre-approved, Pre-packaged, Post-dated, Freeze-dried, Double-wrapped, Vacuum-packed, And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

    I'm a rude dude, But I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff.

    I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride.

    Drivin' and movin', Sailin' and spinnin', Jivin' and groovin', Wailin' and winnin'.

    I don't snooze, So I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal, And the rubber on the road.

    I party hearty, And lunch time is crunch time.

    I'm hanging in, There ain't no doubt. And I'm hanging tough, Over and out.

    -George Carlin, Life Is Worth Losing, Beacon Theater, HBO

  • by FunWithKnives ( 775464 ) <ParadoxPerfectNO@SPAMterrorist.net> on Monday June 23, 2008 @11:20AM (#23903851) Journal
    This would be shitty news to wake up to any day, but it's even worse on your birthday.

    Along with Bill Hicks, George Carlin was my absolute favorite comedian. What they did was much more than just comedy, though. The reason I loved George so much, just as with Bill, was because, in the process of making you laugh so hard, they also made you think. George had the ability to make you see how ridiculous certain things really were, even if you didn't want to.

    So long, George. You're irreplaceable.
  • Bwahahahahaha.

    Thanks George for all the laughs.

    make sure to ask Jesus for the big porkchop.

  • by TJamieson ( 218336 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @11:56AM (#23904473)

    ...and enjoyed his past material should look at themselves. Maybe you've become the very thing George satirizes?

  • by jollyreaper ( 513215 ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @12:24PM (#23904877)

    I'm not claiming to have an insight line on the mind of George Carlin but it seems like he'd be the kind of person to announce his death a little early, just so he can stick around for all that follows. And if he didn't do this, he really should have. Nothing would be funnier than seeing his response to comments like "he must be up there now smiling down on us." "What the hell? Who the fuck are you to promote me to your vision of an afterlife just because I made you laugh? Let me tell you something, asshole: when I really do snuff it, if I find out I've got wings and a halo because you liked my seven dirty words routine, I'm coming back and cramming my harp right up your ass."

Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to execute a job? A: Four; three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.