Is the Yellowstone Supervolcano About To Blow? 877
An anonymous reader writes "Apparently, Yellowstone National Park has been having a very unusual number of earthquakes. Many of the most recent tremors have been deeper underground, an ominous sign. Combine that with a rapid rise in elevation over the past three years, and the possibility that earthquake activity from surrounding areas could trigger such an eruption on its own, and you've got the possible warning signs of a supervolcano eruption that would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental US, plunge global temperatures, and wipe out a very significant chunk of world food sources. Here's a little more info to make your New Year brighter!"
Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (Score:5, Funny)
After all, if we are going to have the sun blocked out by a huge cloud of dust, it would be fantastic to have as much heat trapped on earth as possible!
It WILL blow up on... (Score:5, Funny)
Dec 21, 2012
Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years events (Score:5, Funny)
Why not? All the mathematical models claimed that the US Financial credit market and the Housing Bubble wouldn't burst at the same time- they calculated that was a once in 75 million years event. Given the luck of the United States lately, a 1/600,000 year event going off right now would just be the icing on the cake.
Warning (Score:4, Funny)
Well, if it's going to be the apocalypse (and I'm not going to be responsible, much to my chagrin), can you just make sure I get a few weeks' notice? There are... things... I want to do.
Re:Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Suddenly... (Score:5, Funny)
Are you nuts?!? With 2/3 of the country gone, my 401k is going to be completely ruined! RUINED! It would be a financial catastrophe (in addition to an actual catastrophe)!
Re:Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Well, if it's going to be the apocalypse (and I'm not going to be responsible, much to my chagrin), can you just make sure I get a few weeks' notice? There are... things... I want to do.
Those 'things' are girls and they've already told you they wouldn't have sex with you even if the world were ending.
Oh wait on second thoughts this is slashdot. You do realize that at the end of the world, no one's going to care if you put out a new beta of your new Robocode [sourceforge.net] robot, even if it is unbeatable.
Look at the bright side... (Score:4, Funny)
... when the global cooling occurs, it'll get Al Gore to STFU for once.
Re:drilling (Score:1, Funny)
Well damn... (Score:5, Funny)
"would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental US" (Score:5, Funny)
No boom today. (Score:5, Funny)
Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow.
Re:Warning (Score:3, Funny)
So it's the end of the world as we know it?
But I feel fine!
Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (Score:5, Funny)
History books will refer to late 2008 as The Year God Decided He Really Hated America.
(This is only true if the volcano blows within the next 5 hours, and I have to say - if it's going to blow, it should do it then, just for the humor value.)
Good thing I have been using the simulator... (Score:2, Funny)
With a apocalypse right around the corner, its a good thing that I am spending many hours in the perfect post-apocalyptic simulation, Fallout 3.
Super Volcano or Nuclear War, the net effect is the same, just one has less radiation.
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, but only if someone hears it.
Re:Can't decide (Score:2, Funny)
When should I start to panic?
My friend Ford Prefect says, "Don't panic"
Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (Score:5, Funny)
2012 (Score:3, Funny)
Nah, won't happen till Mayan doomsday. Enjoy your New Year. (Though at least we won't have to fix the 2038 bug).
At times like these (Score:5, Funny)
At times like these, I feel it's appropriate to start rocking back and forth singing:
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
Re:GW linked to volcanic activity ?! WTF (Score:5, Funny)
"Climate change may actually increase the probability of volcanic and earthquake activity!"
Come on get off the fence, does it or doesn't it.
Re:"would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental (Score:1, Funny)
Given the expected result of an eruption, that would be 1.0 or so Libraries of Congress. ;)
Re:Somebody call Crono! (Score:4, Funny)
That's just the sort of "bend over and take it up the arse" that has gotten you Americans into the mess you're in right now. You should be out protesting in the streets about this impending supervolcano! If you aren't part of the solution you are part of the problem. Won't someone _please_ think of the children? Maybe next time you'll vote in a government with a firm policy platform on the whole supervolcano issue. If this supervolcano goes off then the terrorists win.
I've got plenty more!
Taco Department (Score:4, Funny)
Figured taco would post this story from the "maybe the volcano might warm me up dept"
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Totally (Score:5, Funny)
Hell, I could be so bold as to state some asinine comment on Slashdot and not care about Karma or mod points:
I love MS, hate Apple, think Linux is cute but just a toy, and man enough to admit I own a copy of the Joy Luck Club on DVD. ...I feel liberated.
Re:Can't decide (Score:5, Funny)
Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
Re:Somebody call Crono! (Score:5, Funny)
And all this time I thought that if you weren't part of the solution you were part of the precipitate...
Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (Score:5, Funny)
Our models of vulcanism are incompletely understood
We just need to think more logically.
Re:It WILL blow up on... (Score:3, Funny)
You Americans... always thinking that "half to 2/3" of the USA is the same thing as the whole world... :D
Our schools aren't that bad. It would be like 2/3 of the world. Duh.
Re:It WILL blow up on... (Score:3, Funny)
Urgent: sell 2-story home, 4 BR, 2 BA, on 25000 sq. ft property. Located in beautiful Wyoming next to Yellowstone National Park. Grab it while possible !
Re:Suddenly... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (Score:5, Funny)
7. 17. Twenty one. Three point one four. Eighteen thousand, seven hundred and sixty two. Zero point zero three percent.
Re:It WILL blow up on... (Score:5, Funny)
Those Mayans were a smart bunch.
Yup - they figured out how to design a calendar system that would provoke all sorts of speculation and running around in circles in the future.. I nominate the Mayan calendar system for "best troll ever!"
This is Darl McBride's fault (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Somebody call Crono! (Score:3, Funny)
What's even funnier is that my post is moderated 'Insightful'. Pay attention moderators!!! There was nothing 'Insightful' in my post - it was one of those things you do in the morning when you haven't had your caffeinated energy drink yet.
Re:Um no (Score:3, Funny)
there will be an immense disruption of the electrical and telecommunications grid, immense expense from ash damage and removal
Now that's what I call a shovel-ready WPA project!
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Yep. Major rhyolitic, non-huge-caldera-forming eruptions have a far more statistically significant record than anything you could call "supervolcanic", and are only once every ten thousand years or so on average. Far more common. And most earthquake swarms at Yellowstone have nothing to with upcoming volcanic eruptions.
Sorry to ruin everyone's doomsday fun. ;)
Re:No boom today. (Score:4, Funny)
"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom!"
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Sometimes typos are beautiful!
Re:Global Warning (Score:2, Funny)
Yeah, I spotted that in the preview but let it pass anyway. :P
Re:It WILL blow up on... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It WILL blow up on... (Score:5, Funny)
No, that one's going to go to the Bible or the Quran.
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
If I am warmed and cooled at the same time how will I know what to complain about?
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Two multiple hundreds of thousands of years eve (Score:5, Funny)
God: "Pull my finger..."
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
The deaf won't. But there will be people from the govt going around making the "BOOM" asl sign.
DO NOT NAME YOUR DOG TOBA! (Score:5, Funny)
We did, and she's spent her entire life trying to live up to the destructive power of her namesake.
Dude (Score:3, Funny)
You owe Bush so much, for keep us safe and for keep the crisises that have happened from going realy bad.
Re:Um, no. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
People tend to eat nearly as much ice cream in winter as in summer, when the body tends to crave the fat in response to harsher environmental conditions.
But just to be safe, better add espresso. And liquor. And cigars. And porn.
You could call it "The Little Vice Age"
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Kind of makes the California smoking ban useless.
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
It's more likely to cause global cooling, as TFS and TFA state.
<VallyGirlVoice>What eeeever. Magma is HOT, dummy.</VallyGirlVoice>
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (Score:3, Funny)
Think you meant you'd have to kill 10,000 people. The downside is you won't go down in history as a great conqueror for it.
If you switch to a diet of long pig then you'll be more efficient and won't have to kill as many people.
Re:Global Warning (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (Score:4, Funny)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure!
Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (Score:5, Funny)
4 8 15 16 23 42
Now, just type that in every hour, and the eruption won't happen.
Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (Score:5, Funny)
Geothermal time, people! (Score:3, Funny)
Seriously, dedicate a portion of the land towards geothermal power. Any good cook, and any good engineer will tell you that when you want to keep heat under control, you reroute it elsewhere. Build some geothermal plants on the spot, you know how deep the magma is, then building vent/transfer systems around the caldera will in fact cool it down to prevent an eruption, AND you can sell the electricity generated for, well, generations.
Sheiss, it's so simple, should I really be the one suggesting this? I'm a high school dropout (intellectual as I am), and it's really that obvious.
Good time to start pumping out bullets then! (Score:3, Funny)
"I also grew up training in martial arts which, after a while, typically includes some medical training (along the way I've ended up helping to treat everything up to and including a gunshot wound)."
I knew we should be keeping our eyes on Ninjas. Now they're throwing bullets.
Some sobering moves. (Score:4, Funny)
"They will happen and when they happen there's a good chance they'll wipe out all human life still on the Earth. Events like these don't have to wipe out mankind. We can choose to not let that happen. Or not."
That's it! I'm moving to Mars, where it's safer.
Re:Global Warning (Score:2, Funny)
People tend to eat nearly as much ice cream in winter as in summer, when the body tends to crave the fat in response to harsher environmental conditions.
But just to be safe, better add espresso. And liquor. And cigars. And porn.
in fact, forget the espresso and the cigars
Re:Global Warning (Score:1, Funny)
Soylent green is... rice?!
Re:Good time to start pumping out GHG then! (Score:5, Funny)
none of the roofs are rated to carry that. All the planted crops, except trees, are killed. All trees less than a few meters die, naturally. You can't plow it. Most plants won't grow in it. Cars won't run for very long when it's in the air and nobody's digging a car out of a few meters of ash without patience, and if you did there's no where to drive it where you won't get bogged down in soft crunchy ash. The ash is suffused with toxic gases, some of which precipitate as acids. When it rains it kills all the life in all the rivers, and the silt changes the course of major rivers and minor streams. When it gets to the Atlantic and the Gulf it kills almost all of the fish in the ocean. It interferes with cell phone reception, TV and radio. A few meters of ash is enough to clog every hydro power plant, every nuclear power plant in the country. It blocks all the railways and all the highways of course, and that's how we move food around. And if you're not directly affected but you don't like America, that would be a fine day to attack.
Shit, will it really affect my cell phone reception?
Last! (Score:3, Funny)
Last Post!
Re:Global Warning (Score:5, Funny)
personally, i'd travel to the nearest university where there are the highest concentrations of:
progressive civic-minded & altruistic individuals
intellectuals and knowledgeable experts in assorted fields
innovative freethinkers and fresh young minds
Awesome. I'll travel to meet up with some hunter friends of mine who have guns and wilderness survival skills... we'll shoot you and your newly found progressive buddies, eat your vegetables, and have a long pig BBQ!
Re:Global Warning (Score:2, Funny)
<VallyGirl2Voice>But then it would all, like, cool down, like food does when its, like, heated. Maybe it would, like, cool too much? Oh no! What if I'm not hot anymore? (feints)</VallyGirl2Voice>
Re:Global Warning (Score:3, Funny)
Of course, our problem here is we can be bussed a maximum of about 150 miles before we run out of land :)
Re:"would wipe out half to 2/3 of the continental (Score:2, Funny)
The three last eruptions [yellowstonepark.com] were 6000, 700, and 2500 times Mt St Helens 1980 (MSHE), which released 1.67 exajoules [wikipedia.org] (1.673 x 10^18 Joules). According to the esteemed Christopher Thomas [slashdot.org] 1 Burning Library of Congress (BLoC) is equivalent to 4 petajoules (4 x 10^15 Joules). Converting MSHE to BLoC gives 1 MSHE = 418.25 BLoC. So the last three eruptions were 2509500 BLoC, 292775 BLoC, and 1045625 BLoC, respectively. Since we don't know how big the next eruption will be, let's just assume the mean of the last 3, and that's 1282633.3 BLoCs, or 39% of the total solar energy that strikes the surface of the Earth [wikipedia.org].
So the energy crisis is solved? What a relief!
I for one welcome our new supervolcano overlords (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Global Warning (Score:1, Funny)
So I take it my recent venture into the ice-cream business could have been a mistake?
Your production costs will be minimal, at least.
Re:Global Warning (Score:3, Funny)
In Unrelated News ... (Score:2, Funny)
Relax everyone, the Germans will survive (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Global Warning (Score:3, Funny)
Which will keep you alive for what?
Six weeks, six months?
Guns need powder and ammunition. Lubricating oils. Spare parts.
Game becomes hard to find. Edible plants, fruits, nut and berries become hard to find.
You will need to forage constantly across greater and greater distances.
Are you sure that mushroom is safe to eat?
Captain John Smith, who knew something about survival, published a list of provisions he thought essential for every immigrant to Virginia: basically, a year's supply of everything.
Enough food to eat, so you will never be tempted to dip into to your seed stocks. The hunt will be hard work, not sport, and you are not as good with a gun as you think you are.
Bring fishooks. Learn how to fish.
Bring clothes for all seasons. Hammer and nails, axes, planes and saws. Build quickly and build well. The winter will be longer and harsher than any you have known.
Bring animals. Layers. Breeding stock. Shelter them. Protect them.