Stolen Maple Syrup Found and Returned To Strategic Reserve 255
First time accepted submitter bmxeroh writes "Remember the tragic maple syrup heist? Police have seized more than 600 barrels of maple syrup they say are related to the missing syrup. It was transported back to Quebec via a 16 tractor trailer, heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed) convoy Wednesday."
Sounds like (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Sounds like (Score:5, Funny)
The cops are no doubt celebrating the sweet smell of success - with pancakes for breakfast....
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Ahhh, sweet victory.
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Re:Sounds like (Score:4, Funny)
A Lead on the Culprit (Score:5, Funny)
So far, the only significant bit of evidence found at the scene where these barrels were retrieved was the cryptic phrase B. Worth, written in syrup on the floor.
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Mrs. Butterworth's syrup contains no maple syrup.
Re:A Lead on the Culprit (Score:4, Funny)
So someone is trying to frame her? I heard there is a Log Cabin near the scene that may warrant investigating.
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Re:A Lead on the Culprit (Score:4, Funny)
Let's not take too much stock in it. It's possible her Aunt Jemima is trying to frame her.
Carmel Colored Corn Syrup... (Score:2)
Neither one of them use actual maple syrup, so the frame job would appear to trying to make the other one less of a fraud...
Re:Carmel Colored Corn Syrup... (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:A Lead on the Culprit (Score:5, Interesting)
Are they sure that the syrup they're returning hasn't been contaminated?
Stealing something and then making it easy to recover seems to be a perfect trojan horse.
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I was thinking the same thing. Better check for urine, saliva, and...other fluids.
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THANK GOD (Score:4, Funny)
Thank God! This could have turned into a real sticky situation!
Did they test it for poison? (Score:5, Insightful)
Did they test it for poison, or did they just put it back in the reserve without testing? There was no chain of custody during the time it was missing, after all.
Sorry but... (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Sorry but... (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm from Europe too, but I can Google: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/09/why-does-canada-have-a-strategic-maple-syrup-reserve/261869/
Re:Sorry but... (Score:5, Funny)
I'm from Africa, but I can make a clickable link [theatlantic.com] ;)
Thanks for the article, btw. It answers the question quite nicely.
Re:Sorry but... (Score:5, Funny)
I'm from America. Can someone click that link for me and tell me what it says?
Re:Sorry but... (Score:4, Informative)
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They've been known to ferment the semi-concentrated syrup. Never exported so it must be good.
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Nice article. The Atlantic glosses over the bit, though, where the syrup cartel *causes* a calamity that threatens their industry, before they wise up.
Re:Sorry but... (Score:5, Informative)
For the same reasons you stockpile any commodity: it makes you less susceptible to price swings in the marketplace. When prices are low, Quebecois producers can have the reserve buy up excess inventory, then later sell it when prices rise, to protect consumers. The U.S. has strategic reserves of oil, corn, and wheat for similar reasons. Like all complex systems, it helps to have some capacitance to buffer transients.
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producers can have the reserve buy up excess inventory, then later sell it when prices rise, to protect consumers.
T... what?
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Re:Sorry but... (Score:5, Insightful)
Stockpiles don't create scarcity, they help avoid scarcity; it brings the price down in poor years, and push it up in good years.
Only if they were systematically destroying maple syrup would it create scarcity.
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Maple Syrup is a major industry for Canada. However it is a fickle industry.
You can't grow hundred year old maple trees in a greenhouse, they are exposed to normal weather conditions. Also they can only harvest for a short period of time a year. So having the reserve will allow them to keep supply all year long, and cover when there is a bad year. If supply get too low the prices will go too high, and the market will switch to substitutes. American Vermont, Maine, New Hampshire, and New York Maple Syru
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You will soon find a line millions of people long forming in front of you. Each will in turn tell you "That's not a very nice thing to say, you know" and then yield to the next in line. It could be a few years before you've fully served your penance.
Let's not get carried away (Score:2)
The stuff's really valuable, right? That's why they keep a strategic reserve in the first place, after all. So the motive is o
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About the only thing missing are the sharks with frickin laser beams.
I don't see why that couldn't happen; http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/swimming-in-syrup-minimyth.htm [discovery.com]
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I agree.
We as a culture needs to work harder to separate fantasy from reality. We are living in a world of potential fear because every bad guy seems to have these devious plot to make our lives miserable.
We can't let our kids outside without intent supervision (heck laws are getting in place that the parent is in trouble if they let their kids go out and play without supervision) because there could be a Sexual Predator just around the corner ready to snatch your child. Or a teenager who is pushing you
No reason to poison it to poison people (Score:3)
Once it's in the reserve, who owns what drop of syrup is no longer pertinent. It's just as believable that someone would do it for the same reasons as that Tylenol was poisoned http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Tylenol_murders [wikipedia.org] (least likely) or to drive up the price, given that there's no price/production floor for producers (good for producers in general as plowing under a large percentage of the corn crop was at one point, and as milk-dumping in 1939 and the late 1970's; by the 1980's, the government
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Re:I just don't understand.. (Score:5, Funny)
Diamonds! That's where it's at!
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No wonder they did it in an armed convoy. The recovered syrup increased in percieved value by 12 times! And dammit, I was gonna have pancakes this morning, too...
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My bet? They profited from the syrup properties.
It was an insider operation. Workers of the reserve dipped inside the vats each day; when they arrived home they just had to remove from their bodies and clothes and into the vat.
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You get a hold of a tanker.
Heck the guy could have worked for someone security recogonized, and worked twice as hard. One tank for the company one tank for me.
You drive up and say, I am here for a drop off. You go in and instead of pump to your truck to the reserve you go the other way.
Being only Maple syrup, I doubt there was massive security.
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They are canadians. they don't lock their doors. I saw it on TV.
Where do the Presidential Candidates stand? (Score:5, Funny)
Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.
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Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.
Strawberry or the old stalwart bacon and lingonberry haven't been used to jam radar for decades. Nothing beats maple syrup.
Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand? (Score:5, Funny)
We've been Jammed! (Score:3)
Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand? (Score:5, Funny)
Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.
It is a serious issue that threatens to rend the social fabric of society. Women make breakfast for men. That's as traditional as church on Sunday, Real Marriage, and meth-fuelled sex with male prostitutes - all cornerstones of the Republican Party, and what made America great.
What do women do when there's no breakfast to make? Right, they get ideas! Can you imagine a world in which men, weakened by a lack of bacon and maple syrup, lose control over women? A world where women are free to use their in-built pregnancy prevention mechanism, not only to protect themselves from impregnation during rape, but also during normal marital sex? Obama can, and with another term that's exactly where he'll bring America. Romney for traditional values. The black guy for feminazis, socialism, and failing to keep open factories that had already been closed under Bush.
P Ryan.
(Borrowing my friend's account.)
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Since when did Canada have a president? Did the Queen die or something?
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Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.
At least the eggs should be safe. We've been spending way too much money on the DHS (Department of Henhouse Security) for anyone to touch our eggs! Anyone who's had to stand in line there knows how slow the DPS (Department of Pigsty Security) is, though.
Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand? (Score:5, Funny)
For Cooking Up Some (Score:2)
Old school hoser meth,
This is clearly an injustice! (Score:4, Funny)
News for nerds? (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:News for nerds? (Score:5, Informative)
Re:News for nerds? (Score:5, Insightful)
Easy to like anything more than most people when you don't like people.
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Re:News for nerds? (Score:4, Insightful)
Here's a hint, if you see the summary and it doesn't interest you, skip over it. I do it all the time, probably only making it to the comment section on 10-20% of the articles.
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I just don't understand why some people assume that because a story isn't interesting to them, it's not slashdot worthy.
Because it has nothing to do with technology or science. It's not "news for nerds" and it doesn't matter to anyone except those who work in the syrup industry.
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nerds like maple syrup more than people
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Quit whining. Just go to Settings -> Topics and uncheck "syrup" and you won't see these stories anymore. :-)
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Yo momma's so fat that she stole 600 gallons of syrup just to get through breakfast!
Re:News for nerds? (Score:4, Insightful)
Should you be worried about the food you buy? (Score:3)
From the article:
Etienne St-Pierre said his usual suppliers, small producers based in Quebec, sold it to him.
This made me think: basically, a foodstuff was sold to someone who'll sell it to the public later on. He didn't ask about the source of the foodstuff, didn't check for quality, didn't check for adulteration, didn't check for chemical or biological contaminants - NOR DID HE KNOW SHIT whether anyone has done such tests.
He could have gotten maple syrup laced with anthrax, and would have sold it forward, and noone would have been the wiser.
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I think if your food was laced with Anthrax you'd know about it, eventually.
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Do you test the food you bring home from the supermarket every single week? I mean, they could sell you food laced with anthrax and you would be no wiser.
If there is no guarantee of who the source is, then yes, that's exactly my fucking point!
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And, because the chain of custody has been violated, the Canadian government doesn't know shit about it, either.
Exactly.
My comment was more general, though. It's about the fact that, generally, it is plausible that food sold at grocery stores could come from untrusted sources.
Re:Should you be worried about the food you buy? (Score:4, Funny)
SWEET! (Score:2)
Stickyfinger (Score:2)
Fort Knox had Goldfinger. Who is Quebec's Stickyfinger?
party time! (Score:2)
Breaking Bad (Score:2)
Reminds me of an episode [tv.com] of breaking bad (about a heist to pilfer some precious liquids).
How much syrup is that? (Score:2)
Is the 600 barrels a measure of volume, 42 gallons to a barrel? Did it mean 600 drums of unknown capacity, perhaps 55 gallon drums? But it's a Canadian story and wouldn't they use metric? Perhaps the barrels are made of maple wood, charred inside and used for aging the syrup, eh?
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Is the 600 barrels a measure of volume, 42 gallons to a barrel? Did it mean 600 drums of unknown capacity, perhaps 55 gallon drums? But it's a Canadian story and wouldn't they use metric? Perhaps the barrels are made of maple wood, charred inside and used for aging the syrup, eh?
A barrel (used in a liquid measurement context) is usually approx 120 liters. However, there is some variation, and each commodity tends to have it's own "barrel" measurement. For example, a barrel of oil is about 160 liters, but a barrel of beer is a bit light of a standard liquid barrel (except in the UK where it's a bit bigger).
The history of the "barrel" measurement is that it is defined to be 1/2 a hogshead (a really big barrel 4ft tall, 30inches diameter), 1/4 of a pipe, and 1/8 of a liquid tonne.
Hello, we're Canadians (Score:5, Funny)
Our military expenditures are a tiny fraction of our Southern neighbor's
Less likely to carry guns
Have better healthcare and are therefore more relaxed
We emphasize coordination and and compassion and getting along at the U.N.
Our labor rights are more sound, so we're less agitated
Our commitment to education is high, we see ways to resolve conflict in wise ways rather than brutal vicious ways
We're polite to a fault, we stop our cars in the street so you can cross, we let you go first in line if we both arrive at the same time, and we express in low tones the thinking behind our disagreements
BUT DON'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EVER FUCKING MESS WITH OUR MOTHERFUCKING MAPLE SYRUP
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Or insult our beer [youtube.com]!
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Better healthcare? That seems like a statement of perspective. I would bet that a majority of your neighbors to the south have better healthcare than a majority of Canadians.
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Better healthcare? That seems like a statement of perspective. I would bet that a majority of your neighbors to the south have better healthcare than a majority of Canadians.
Rich Americans have better healthcare than most Canadians. Canadians will not die in poverty to pay a Cancer health bill.
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As a Canadian who has lived in the US for 20 years, I can rebutt this pretty well. I have what would be considered one of the best plans in the US, and it pretty much matches the health care I received in Canada when I was growing up. At age 15 I walked myself into an ER for a broken finger, and never had to think about what it might be costing my parents. It was just dealt with.
My father-in-law (US) and my father (Canada) both hit the hospital at the same time 5 years ago, the former for pancreatic blockag
Re:Hello, we're Canadians (Score:5, Insightful)
There are plenty of problems with Canadian healthcare. And you will find that not in a billion years will a single Canadian prefer our broken dysfunctional wasteful system over theirs.
What the USA excels in is critical care: when you have the heart attack. Why? Because IT MAKES MONEY. What is there no money in? Preventive care. Because it's cheap. You also live longer.
Wouldn't you prefer to prevent the heart attack for $100 than maybe live through the heart attack for $100,000? Well guess what: your stupid healthcare system doesn't agree with you. It is made so some asshole CEO can sit on a gold toilet, it's not made so you actually live a longer healthier life and spend far less on your healthcare.
Because some complete fucking retards in this country actually believe the profit principle has a place in a healthcare system. What is the system for? Your health? Or a shareholder? Why the fuck do so many ignorant fucking Americans not see the problem therein? You can't have both. No really: you cannot have a system to maximize profit, and a system that maximizes your health, at the same time. Those two goals are diametrically opposed to each other. But the cult of the unicorns and rainbows free market fundamentalism is so strong in this stupid fucking country common sense does not prevail.
Oh and "FREEDOM!" As in FREEDUMB: people who believe freedom means freedom from responsibility. "How dare you make me buy health insurance!" (And then they break their arm and avoid the bill because they can't afford it: freeloading, irresponsible ignorant assholes.)
You can make giant volumes of the problems in the Canadian healthcare system. In Great Britain. In France. In all of our economic peers on the world stage. And none of them, not a single citizen of those countries, with all of the problems in their health systems, would change it for the far, far worse system we have here. Go ahead, ask your friend. They look on our "healthcare" system with a mix of revulsion and disgust. Because our system is far far far more expensive, and we live shorter lives, because our system is made to profit off the attempt to MAYBE you save you from the heart attack, while the other systems are made to save the country, and you, money, by preventing you from getting the heart attack in the first place with screenings and cheap drugs (as opposed to expensive drugs with marketing campaigns and fashion model sales reps visiting doctors offices to get them push that instead).
A healthcare system doesn't mean a fucking thing if you can't afford it.
It blows my mind how Americans can be so utterly propagandized and so fucking retarded on how they are being shafted by paying so much and living shorter unhealthier lives. Oh but "EVIL SOCIALISM WHARGGARBBLBBLLE." Good for you retard, you hate the word "socialism." Now live a shorter life and pay a heck of a lot more for your healthcare, you dumb ignorant moron afraid of a silly word. That asshole CEO getting paid by policies that trade your lifeblood for his gold toilet thanks you.
Wake the fuck up America.
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20121003/REVIEWS/121009995 [suntimes.com]
MItt Romney did write this post (Score:3)
as governor of Massachusetts
then he disavowed his greatest legacy to pander to the ignorant propagandized wing of the hysterical right
Romney abandoned probably the greatest piece of legislation he will ever be identified with, to win the vote of the kind of douchebag that will vote against policies that means cheaper healthcare for him and a longer life. because some CEO brought enough of the right sort of propaganda on Fox News to appeal to his low IQ prejudices
i can't fathom a retard so fucking stupid he
Article a signal to one of our intelligence agents (Score:2)
He was informed that if an article appears in Slashdot that doesn't quite fit in the News For Nerds category, that the operation has been green lighted. He is to move at once, while the world is distracted by hot gossip about the Kardashians (local operatives in the mainland as well).
Nothing to see here, fellow /. readers; move along now.
Mr. Prime Minister! (Score:3)
We simply cannot allow a maple syrup gap!
Die Hard 5 (Score:3)
If this isn't the most obvious plot EVER for a Die Hard movie, I don't know what is. ;^)
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
I dont believe it (Score:3)
Whats next? Columbian coke reserves damaged by mice? Chinese slave labor stolen? American military bankrupt?
I never thought I'd hear... (Score:3)
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heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed)
Woah, woah, woah... It isn't the USA, put those guns away.
I figured it was heavily armed for Canadian standards. One of the guys had a knife.
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Yummy, that sounds almost as appetising as sea cucumber.
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No, you read that wrong. The syrup was on a trailer pulled by sixteen tractors.
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Sounds like the leaked Ocean's 14 script.
Those Canadians really are serious about their maple syrup.
Liquid gold, baby!
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It was worth about $20 million, that's serious business.
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Yeah, like 10 years ago. The tables have turned and now Canadian dollars are actually worth more than ours.
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