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Leak Reveals Government Conspiracy, Atrocity 37

First time accepted submitter Sigmon writes An unauthorized wave recently broadcast on the Cortex has revealed not only the existence of a previously unknown settlement on a far away border world called Miranda but also that the entire population of settlers was inadvertently wiped out by a top-secret Alliance program. Miranda was purportedly used as a testing ground for G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate, or simply "Pax" — a chemical agent designed to calm the population and weed out aggression. It seems the test did not go as planned. Also, reporters have been dispatched to the location of a battle not far from Miranda's location where the Alliance fleet has apparently suffered significant losses. It is unknown if the two events are related at this time. When contacted for comment on these events, government officials were very tight-lipped, however one official responded with a confusing statement about "Damming a river."
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Leak Reveals Government Conspiracy, Atrocity

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  • We frequently have more profound conspiracy theories on the front page of slashdot than this. This not only isn't interesting but it also doesn't encourage immediate removal of President Obama. I find this disappointing, and I'm sure other slashdot readers do as well (albeit perhaps for different reasons).
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 01, 2015 @02:56PM (#49388079)
    I would like to sincerely thank the /. editors for lightening up an otherwise mundane day with these hilarious stories that take famous sci-fi settings and extend the story with almost sitcom-y type situations. I kept laughing and laughing, and all my coworkers were asking me what was wrong, why I kept snickering. Each story was more uproarious than the last, and just when I thought that surely these jokers couldn't outdo themselves, they would go and prove me wrong. Kudos for another phenomenal year and what was obviously a lot of time and trouble coming up with first-rate tomfoolery. It's what keeps me coming back here consistently. Salut!

    (Now that was an April Fools joke!)
  • STOP (Score:2, Troll)

    by StikyPad ( 445176 )

    N/T

  • This cannot touch me.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    But... But... Did Kaylee ever get to have the Doctors baby?
    Sid Mal ever get to satisfy the needs of Inara?
    Will the Amazon woman ever get to kill some Reivers?
    Will there be a sequel? TV? or Movie??

  • ...when it is safe to come back to /. again...
    • by Troy Baer ( 1395 )

      At least they didn't turn Slashdot a Tiffany Grant approved shade of pink this year.

  • by msobkow ( 48369 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2015 @03:14PM (#49388173) Homepage Journal

    I remember when Slashdot used to put an effort into coming up with some story that was just plausible enough to have people wondering whether it was an April Fools joke or not. But today, this year? No attempt at plausibility whatsoever. Just lame summaries hashing out old Sci-Fi plot lines.

    It's weak, man.

    Even from dice-droids I expect better than this.

  • by mwvdlee ( 775178 ) on Wednesday April 01, 2015 @03:14PM (#49388177) Homepage

    We all know who the real April's fool is today; Slashdot editors.
    April's fool jokes are supposed to trick people into believing something which is obvious nonsense in hindsight.
    The Slashdot editors have been fooled into believing these stories were believable, even though they obviously aren't.
    Seriously, you can't think up a story about Apple announcing an iRing that controls other devices or CERN's LHC having found the flogiston particle?

  • by Anonymous Coward

    In an unprecedented parallel to a take off from Serenity, a group of slashdot posters lacked creativity to come up with something new, and
    hence attempted to "bait" the online world with a plagiaristic attempt that flopped badly.

  • by Anonymous Coward

    It's not funny any more, not even by april fools standards. Just please stop so we can forget this wretched day for another year.

    • by Anonymous Coward

      yep for fucks sake stop. i keep accidently clicking on your bookmark forgetting that you're only posting shit today.

      irony is there seem to be more postings today than usual. Shame you can't put that much effort into the everyday running of this site.

      perhaps thats why the site is dying on its arse.

  • Yeah, it's April 1st, we get it - post a joke and move on. An all day event is pointless and a little annoying. I'm going to browse elsewhere, see you guys tomorrow.
  • How come this isnt on the front page? http://slashdot.org/submission... [slashdot.org]
  • Quad-Core Arduino, Intel-powered Raspberry Pi, Apple making the iMessage protocols free and open source, IBM buying back the ThinkPad brand...

    Enough with the same joke over and over again. It was fun once, maybe twice. After that it's just painful. Are you going to stop or will you go through all the classic science-fiction movies/TV shows/books?

  • Seriously, today's /. April Fools' things have been gangrenous post-rotten.

    Yes, I love FireFly and everything about it.
    Yes, I even liked Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

    Today's /. April Fools' things have been atrociously stupid.

    If you don't fool anybody it's not an April Fools' joke... you're the fool.

    E

  • by Anonymous Coward

    There is no evidence that Pax is at all harmful to humans, you could drink a glass of it and be fine. Rumors of a space battle are preposterous. The Alliance Fleet was doing routine maneuvers when it was struck by an asteroid storm.

    • The Browncoats are probably responsible for this, I'd bet. Can't trust the rebel scum. (Or was that some other movie?)

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