Al-Qaeda's Job Application Form Revealed 149
HughPickens.com writes: ABC News reports that the Office of the Director of National Intelligence has released a list of English-language material recovered during the raid the killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan in 2011 including one document dubbed "Instructions to Applicants," that would not be entirely out of place for an entry-level position at any American company – except for questions like the one about the applicant's willingness to blow themselves up. The questionnaire includes basic personal details, family history, marital status, and education level. It asks that applicants "answer the required information accurately and truthfully" and, "Please write clearly and legibly." Questions include: Is the applicant expert in chemistry, communications or any other field? Do they have a family member in the government who would cooperate with al Qaeda? Have they received any military training? Finally, it asks what the would-be jihadist would like to accomplish and, "Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?" For the final question, the application asks would-be killers that if they were to become martyrs, who should al Qaeda contact?
The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"
The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"
When watching GI Joe (Score:3, Funny)
I always wondered where the Cobra employees came from. Now I know.
Re:When watching GI Joe (Score:5, Funny)
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"Killing those Cobra motherfuckers!"
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I always wondered where the Cobra employees came from. Now I know.
Actually, this was answered in the GI Joe comic (written by the guy that had the idea for the new GI Joe IIRC). Cobra employees typically came form the slums of the world. They would find gang members, poor, the dispossessed. Move them to Cobra facilities where they are inducted into a new gang, clothed, fed, socialized into a new family, given education and training, entertainment, healthcare, and even plans to send some of their salary back to their families and help elevate them out of poverty. The typic
business of mass-murdering innocent people (Score:1)
That is hardly exclusive to Al-Qaeda. You are tagged by the direction you point your gun.
Re:business of mass-murdering innocent people (Score:5, Interesting)
They are a nasty bunch, treat civilian casualties as a feature not a bug, etc.; but they don't have nearly the resources or the direct combat assets; much less specialized infrastructure that must either be carefully hidden or sited in an area where you are the de-facto government, to do 'mass murder'.
They do terrorism: that tends to include a good deal of violence; but calibrated with an eye to maximum psychological impact, attacks on culturally salient targets, that sort of thing. In terms of straight body count, they rank well below more-or-less-strictly-business drug cartels, and even a fair percentage of the 21st century bush wars in countries that aren't interesting enough to even attract a few foreign correspondents; much less the sort of stuff that made the 20th century so notorious.
The numbers get a bit fuzzy because of the various more-and-less-actually-connected 'franchise' operators, some of which were actually collaborators to some reasonably close degree, some of which were little more than unrelated thugs with a taste for trademark infringement; but Al-Qaeda's body count just isn't that big. It's well weighted for psychological punch, lots of Americans in important buildings, fewer peasant conscripts in ethniclashistan; but in absolute numbers? Chickenshit. ISIS and Boko Haram are almost certainly well ahead; and let's not even talk about how quickly the professionals working for established nation states can stack up bodies...
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...and let's not even talk about how quickly the professionals working for established nation states can stack up bodies...
Now you're talking about 21st century Bush wars.
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...and let's not even talk about how quickly the professionals working for established nation states can stack up bodies...
Now you're talking about 21st century Bush wars.
Bush Wars
Obama Wars
Hollande Wars (Libya)
The French are as devious and cruel as the Americans. They just like to kill with no tv's around. Especially in their old time African colonies.
Re:business of mass-murdering innocent people (Score:5, Interesting)
Beer and circuses my friend. It appears you know this, which is good. Today it is televised sports and beer. Circuses are not so common any more but the result is the same. A lethargic and mostly satisfied or entertained populace does not seem to inspect or criticize their government (or those who have power over them) nearly as much as a disenfranchised group with neither satisfaction or entertainment.
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Once or twice doesn't make a sustainable business.
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Totally agree. I suspect that if the Al Qaeda affected somehow the interests of a traditional Mafia or of a large drug cartel, they would not survive long.
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ISIS, now known as Da'esh, started out as Al Queda in Iraq. Eventually, there were some management disputes and Al Queda kicked them out.
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I see Al-Qaeda as more of an agency, or employment center. They are definitely little more than one of many middlemen that executes(?) a purchase order from the nation states that need their services, a procurement office for weapons and personnel, passports, credit cards, you name it. They might even have an iStore. Either way it is a facade, a front, in the global terror business. They attract everybody's attention, while their financiers are off to Monaco!
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Well, and who you point it at. And whether you use teenagers to kill as many innocent people as is possible. It's a bit like saying there's no difference between a civilian getting killed on the battlefield and herding people into gas chambers. At some point, yes, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.
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mmmm... ot to different that any corporation that hires untrained people and puts them into deadly situations with poor safety. Such as coal mining, oil field work, handling agricultural chemicals, chemical refineries, etc. One does it for Allah, the other does it for profit.
Truth be told... (Score:5, Interesting)
These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family
The unemployment rates are 27% with even higher rates for people in their twenties
The application takes advantage of their desires to have a 'real' job and twists it into continuing strife that does nothing to improve their economic conditions
BULL FUCKING SHIT (Score:2, Informative)
These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family
The unemployment rates are 27% with even higher rates for people in their twenties
The application takes advantage of their desires to have a 'real' job and twists it into continuing strife that does nothing to improve their economic conditions
BULLSHIT.
Jihadi John [wikipedia.org]:
Emwazi was born Muhammad Jassim Abdulkarim Olayan al-Dhafiri[15] on 17 August 1988 in Kuwait[1] to Jassem and Ghaneyah.[14] The family, who were Bedoon of Iraqi origin,[14] moved to UK in 1994 when he was six.[16] They settled in inner west London, moving between several properties in Maida Vale,[17] later living in St John's Wood and finally in Queen's Park.[17][18] Emwazi attended St Mary Magdalene Church of England primary school, and later Quintin Kynaston Community Academy.[3]
In 2006 he went to the University of Westminster, studying Information Systems with Business Management. He secured a lower second-class BSc (Hons) on graduation three years later.[3] At age 21, he worked as a salesman at an IT company in Kuwait and was considered by his boss as the best employee the company ever had.
You are one addle-brained moron.
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Clearly, most/all 'applicants' have similar qualifications as Jihadi John.
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And Osama came from a wealthy family and was wealthy himself. So? You realize that your post includes a link to Wikipedia? The reason there is an article about him specifically is because, well, they are an outlier and their exception to the rules makes them noteworthy enough to have an article to start with. Occam's Razor ring a bell? Yay! You found an exception and that somehow disproves, "...applicants' would probably never consider the path..."
At risk of going a bit too far I would highly recommend a Cr
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And see post http://news.slashdot.org/comme... [slashdot.org] where I decided to actually research this and learned something new. My sincere apologies. In my defense I know, for a fact, that I read a study that stated otherwise but I am unable to find it thus will concede the point and consider the benefit as having learned something new.
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Trading papers, I will see yours and offer:
"This paper also suggests that the Gini Index of economic inequality may also have a significant correlation with terrorist risk. The results overall imply that exclusion from the economy can be a motivator for terrorism just as exclusion from politics can be, regardless of the overall wealth of a country."
http://digitalcommons.iwu.edu/... [iwu.edu]
I will even go on to say that it is the political control over the economy (whether the military control of Egypt or Pakistan, o
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I was unable to find a study that supported that side though I knew that I had read the opposite (like the one you linked) view in the past. I also think that I followed the link from a comment here. The one you link is not the same though but reaches similar conclusions. My guess is the data can be interpreted either way depending on how you choose to view it.
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It is a wise man--or woman--who can admit error.
Fortunately, **I** am never wrong.
Oh, yeah, :-)
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He has ties to the Saudis and the 'war on terror' has been described as a civil was inside the Saudi ruling class.
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That's all too true, and this is described in The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright (who later wrote Going Clear about Scientology). The big Q paid a decent wage with health benefits and a hefty compensation package to your family, especially upon "martyrdom." The fanatics were in the top-middle of the organization; the rank-and-file were mostly just desperate young males with a lot of social/familial obligations and nothing to lose. Depressing, really.
Re:Truth be told... (Score:5, Insightful)
On the one hand, as you say, the terrorist grunt supply is heavily drawn from frustrated young men(inconveniently, lots of prime recruiting grounds have demographics that skew fairly young, so there are lots of them), with limited economic prospects, often compounded by a culture where you probably aren't getting laid unless you've achieved enough economic stability to get married. The miscellaneous 'insurgents' who raise hell when you attempt to occupy their home sand trap; but lack international ambitions and/or capabilities are mostly these guys. Some of the lower-skill terrorists proper are as well(particularly for the Israelis, since Gaza's festering-prison-slum atmosphere provides an endless supply of the angry and hopeless; and you don't even need to buy them plane tickets to have them go do a 'martyrdom operation'.
On the other hand, a lot of terrorist leadership, and high-skill recruits(if you want to blow stuff up, it sure helps to have some real engineers and chemists around), are not driven by economic desperation. Bin Laden himself was basically a trust-fund fundamentalist, and a lot of the more influential and logistically important figures are people with decent university degrees, often in marketable subjects, who are financially stable; but alienated by some aspect of the injustice of the world, or disaffected by secularism or the wrong sort of religious practice, exactly which one varying by person.
They come in both flavors.
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I agree on both flavors, and I suggest that they are rooted in the same cause, which is an attempt to prevent internal revolution due to lack of opportunity
Even bin laden was relegated to some son-of-the-boss position if he had toed the line, so he traded that away for leading his own quasi-government
By design, this was outside the borders of his birth and in no way threatened the people who actually limited his ambitions at home
Soft bigotry of incomprehensibly low expectations (Score:3, Interesting)
Come on. If a bunch of people are one layoff away from going jihadi-apeshit, then there is a problem here quite distinct from whatever economic woes they might face.
And
Re: Soft bigotry of incomprehensibly low expectati (Score:1)
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a maximum benefit cap of roughly $4000 (maximum for the year. Not per-payment max.)
WTF? State law or you only worked a limited time? Republican in office? That is entirely unacceptable, seriously. I would almost suggest posting a PayPal address but I got bitched at the last time I suggested that though I still made use of it much to the chagrin of the naysayers.
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I wouldn't complain if someone mentioned a good entry level position for a math-y major thinking about jumping into CS/IT, but I suspect there would be competition.
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It may be worth clicking the Jobs link at the bottom of the page.
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trying to address that overblown ultra-echochamber-progressive concept of poverty being the main driver of religious terrorism.
Hunger drove the "Arab spring" not Facebook. Everybody seemed to forget that there were rolling food riots in cities like Cairo and Aleppo shortly before the outbreak of hostilities. They were brought on by skyrocketing food prices due to record breaking droughts that were occurring in Australia, Russia, and the Fertile Crescent during the 2000's. In Syria alone, 2M people abandoned their farms and moved into the city looking for jobs, in a nation of 20M people it's not surprising that such internal displac
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Also, it is worth focusing on the middle and upper classes, because they are primarily the ones creating all of these organizations and ideologies (Osama bin Laden, Sayyid Qutb, Abu Bakr al-B
Clarificiation for clueless moderators (Score:2)
a. The differences between American assistance for the lower classes and the unemployed vs. British assistance (even under a Tory government)
and
b. The statistics describing what American Muslims believe vs. what British Muslims believe
Or, you know, you can just mod me troll because I'm too lazy to post
Re:Truth be told... (Score:5, Interesting)
Dear moderators: "Troll" is not a synonym for "I disagree with this".
That said, I disagree with this.
We've known since the investigation of 9/11 that suicide bombers are not necessarily dead-enders except in the literal sense. Economic powerlessness might play a role in the political phenomenon of extremist violence, but it is not a necessary element of the profile of a professional extremist. These people often come from privileged backgrounds and display average to above average job aptitude.
Mohammed Atta's life story makes interesting reading. He was born to privileged parents; at the insistence of his emotionally distant father he wasn't allowed to socialize with other kids his age, and had a lifelong difficulty with relating to his peers. At university he did OK but below the high expectations of his parents. He went to graduate school in urban planning where his thesis was on how impersonal modern high rise buildings ruined the historic old neighborhoods of the Muslim world.
That much is factual; as to why he became an extremist while countless others like him did not, we can only speculate. I imagine that once he decided modernity was the source of his personal dissatisfactions Al Qaeda would be attractive to him. Al Qaeda training provided structure which made interacting with his new "peers" easier than ever before. And martyrdom promised relief from the dissatisfactions of a life spent conscious of his own mediocrity. Altogether he was a miserable and twisted man -- but not economically miserable.
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Hey,
I would argue that Atta, and many of the well educated 'forefathers' of this movement were facing their own glass ceilings, and would never reach the levels of social success in their own countries (as compared to what they could expect in the western countries they were educated in) due to the members of the royal families that got all of the sweet positions
One solution to their problem would be to mount an internal revolution
To prevent this they were intentionally radicalized by royally-supported Wahh
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Why would any other armed force, regular or otherwise be any different. You want to attract highly skilled people for highly skilled work, you need grunts for grunt work and there is a lot of grunt work to be done.
The only real difference is tha
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Because we live in a simple world of right and wrong where everything is in black and white...
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These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family
The unemployment rates are 27% with even higher rates for people in their twenties
The application takes advantage of their desires to have a 'real' job and twists it into continuing strife that does nothing to improve their economic conditions
The 9/11 hijackers included an architect, a law student and a school teacher. A significant number of suicide bombers have technical backgrounds, have families and have had a pretty good life. They have found solutions to the problems of jobs, food and home life and choose to focus on a perceived evil in the world that they don't think they can change in any other way.
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I opted to school myself on quickly via the mighty Google. I learned something today and it is surprising.
Perhaps surprisingly, our review of the evidence provides little reason for optimism that a reduction in poverty or an increase in educational attainment would meaningfully reduce international terrorism. Any connection between poverty, education and terrorism is indirect, complicated and probably quite weak. Instead of viewing terrorism as a direct response to low market opportunities or ignorance, we suggest it is more accurately viewed as a response to political conditions and long-standing feelings of indignity and frustration that have little to do with economics.
Citation: http://www.uvm.edu/~wgibson/PD... [uvm.edu] (Note: PDF)
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The psychological examination of terrorism has shown the good news that it's not really linked to how poor, religious, or mentally unstable the people are. The poorest countries are not the ones that create the most terrorism, many terrorists are educated and middle class or higher (with respect to the countries they came from, anyway), and unsurprisingly, a lot of terrorists aren't devoutly religious. Terror cells require secrecy and organization, so while crazy guys might seem easier to persuade to do cra
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"and unsurprisingly, a lot of terrorists aren't devoutly religious"
I think that it may be a similar phenomenon to Born Again Christians in America, where people are deeply indoctrinated when they are young, put aside their beliefs for lives of debauchery in their young adult years, then fall back to their original beliefs (or influence of religious leaders who represent those beliefs) in later years or when facing some emotional hardship
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These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family
Sadly, not true there was a study that showed the terrorists, at least in the middle east, tend to come from relatively upper class backgrounds. It's more a bunch of privileged apsies who think they know what God wants and have no human empathy. People who are struggling depend on other people enough to learn a little empathy and have other worries than "what does God want"
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Good job w/the research, but I think it misses a point. You could substitute those two w/GWB and Cheney. Sadly, the people cheerleading for everybody to go fight will not be the ones to go bleed. I think (somewhere along the thread) the point was made that if people had access to a decent economy then a career in jihad would be a tough sell.
Of course there are examples of western youth who come for the "adventure" of combat. I have no glib answer for this save "Darwin".
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I thought that too and recall a study (from a comment on this site - I am near certain of this being the source of the link and I am certain about the study's conclusion in the abstract) but I decided to verify this and do some searching. I can not find the original study that I read but I did find this and a number of other studies that support that economics and education are insignificant. Link/citation: www.uvm.edu/~wgibson/PDF/kruger_mal.pdf
Needless to say, I am surprised with this (and others) study's
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They all have a glass ceiling, that is to say that they lack the room to grow their ambitions and are being sent out to find it
In the case of the notable FEW that you bring up, they were relegated to becoming fat lapdogs, servants of the royal family who could never rise above their 'place'. These were people with ambition who could have taken places of political or corporate leadership in a country that did not give all of those away to the royal family.
Of course leaders need foot soldiers and those come f
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And how many Westerners are that highly educated? How many of the US military troops, besides the higher ranking officers are educated at all? A military requires it's peons, the higher ranking officers, generals and most leaders are highly educated.
Al Qaeda/ISIS was/is the only standing military force in the region but their claimed 'land' is currently divided. They have a cause and a mission, not surprising they're organized. After Hussein, Iraq didn't have much of a military and the US paying a m
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All officers have a college degree, most if not all senior NCO's have at least an AA degree , most Mid Level officers have masters degrees.
Re: EVEN ***MORE*** BULLSHIT (Score:5, Informative)
Doctors? Hardly
Mohammad Sidique Khan: aged 30, worked as 'learning mentor' in a primary school for immigrant children
Shehzad Tanweer: aged 22, worked part time at his father's fish and chips shop
Germaine Lindsay: aged 19, worked part-time as a carpet fitter and supplemented his income by selling covers for mobile phones at a local market
Hasib Hussain: aged 18, a recently graduated student who was living with in-laws and had a recent arrest for shoplifting
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Yeah, I think the AC was getting confused with the people who thought that light a fire under gas bottles would cause explosions - some of them were doctors. Ironic that the more educated ones were more inept. I saw it more as a sad indictment of British education - they'd all been schooled over here but didn't understand basic science.
Cause and Effect (Score:1)
Are we sure corporations didn't get their recruiting style from jihadists and crusaders?
Corporations just tend to be a little more subtle about their attitudes to the human pawns they exploit to subvert enlightened civilization.
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And kill them when they put them into dangerous situations. See my comment re: safety regulations and getting low wage workers killed on the job. Corporations do not even see them, and probably us, as human.
I forgot to ask (Score:5, Interesting)
Why is "business" in quotation marks? This is a business. Al-Qaeda and ISIS are brand names, just like DuPont and AT&T. Financed by big money from around the world. That would most likely include your favorite financial institution.
Benefits (Score:2)
"Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?"
So what's the state of their pension scheme and healthcare package?
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"Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?"
So what's the state of their pension scheme and healthcare package?
For Al-queda? I'm not sure. For Hamas and the PLO attacking Isreal, it was probably more money than they would every be able to save in their lifetime donated to their families. Used to be paid for by Iraq, but now Iran has stepped in to pay the price last I read. I can only imagine that Al-queda had a similar deal if nothing else.
Re:Benefits (Score:5, Funny)
Actually, the fine print would probably resemble: "You will receive stated number of virgins in the afterlife, but Al-Qaeda and its affiliates cannot guarantee the quality, skill, sexual preference, or the species of the virgins. Nor do we offer substitutions."
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Virgins are generally unskilled.... duh!
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So are people who think virgins are better, but it's what their market seems to want.
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which company you are talking about? Most have matching 401Ks
No suprise (Score:2)
Its not like corporations are a democracy anyway.
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SubjectsInCommentsAreStupid (Score:2)
Life Assurance (Score:2)
looks fake (Score:2)
This form poped up on net about a week ago and looks fake as hell ..al Qaeda is like grampa with the old ass computer with a dot matrix printer that family has to hunt cartage's down for and isis 4k HD video makeing high gloss pdf magizine makeing teen
FFS (Score:2)
Al-Qaeda and ISIS are manufactured FUD, why does media like /. want to further that crap?
A Primer:
http://coursesa.matrix.msu.edu... [msu.edu]
A snippet:
This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.
In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the militaryindustrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.
Akin to, and largely responsible for the sweeping changes in our industrial-military posture, has been the technological revolution during recent decades.
In this revolution, research has become central; it also becomes more formalized, complex, and costly. A steadily increasing share is conducted for, by, or at the direction of, the Federal government.
Today, the solitary inventor, tinkering in his shop, has been overshadowed by task forces of scientists in laboratories and testing fields. In the same fashion, the free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research. Partly because of the huge costs involved, a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity. For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers.
The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present
and is gravely to be regarded.
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Secret Pentagon Report Reveals US "Created" ISIS As A "Tool" To Overthrow Syria's President Assad
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/... [zerohedge.com]
Saudi Arabia-funded Islamic State
http://www.thedailybeast.com/a... [thedailybeast.com]
CIA-funded al Qaeda
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03... [nytimes.com]
Start with the top link it leads to all the others, and there are a LOT of them.
Sadly I already answered in this topic (Score:2)
Or I'd mark you and your parent as "overrated." We don't need this kind of bullshit here or anywhere.
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But if you still don't believe me, then let me throw some numbers at you! Five! Twenty three! Eight hundred six!
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Al-Qaeda and ISIS are manufactured FUD,
I'm really interested......do you realize that the link you posted does not logically support this statement? Eisenhower could be right, and Al-Qaeda/ISIS could not be manufactured. They can both be true.
Seriously, are you saying the government orchestrated the crash into the twin towers? Because if you are, you need to get your head screwed on straight.
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I don't believe I mentioned 9/11, What I am trying to say is that every bit of this terrorism you see today is manufactured.
I was pretty specific about this.
As far as 9/11 goes, well maybe it was a straight forward attack maybe it wasn't, but the people in charge needed something like 9/11 to put their agenda into action.
Little chance the US would have gone to war and occupation of Iraq without it, and no way you get the PATRIOT act and the NSA issues without it.
By the way if you're under 30 I really don't
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There are only 2 paths of discussion for the majority of the people out there.
A: The government told the truth.
B: Conspiracy nuts.
There is no "in between" has been my experience, no room for conjecture or debate.
You find this to be true because you sound too much like the latter. Change the tone of your writing and you'll end up with better conversations.
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1) The government only acts for the interests of the wealthy few.
2) George Bush only wanted to help his rich friends.
3) Obama only wants to help his rich friends.
4) Rand Paul only wants to help his rich friends.
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Pearl Harbor could have been predicted by a modern intelligence agency, of the sort the Department of War created in January 1942 (the timing is not accidental). In fact, nobody was in charge of putting top secret intelligence together. In fact, it was no secret that war with Japan was imminent, and Pearl Harbor received two warning messages ten days before the attack, which were pretty well ignored by the authorities there. General Short, in charge of the defenses, was a fossil who disregarded the impo
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It's a really good idea to have some sort of safe place where warships can be, and Pearl Harbor was supposed to be that sort of base. It was the Army's responsibility to protect the Fleet while in harbor, and in fact the Navy was on higher readiness against air attack than the Army was. One destroyer shot down several torpedo bombers that were attacking the battleships.
Sample questions (Score:5, Funny)
a) Did Al-Faruq's vest weight go up or down?
b) How many infidels can each send to hell when they're a martyr?
Awan-Afuqya and Al-Suq Aweenr can destroy 1,000 feet of priceless ancient artifacts in 3.5 hours. Awan-Afuqya alone takes 6 hours. How long would it take Al-Suq to do the job alone?
M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?
Divide 80 infidels into 3 groups such that the second group will have twice as many as the first, and the third will have 5 less than the second.
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There was a famous math book for small children used in Lebanon and probably Syria that had questions like:
You have twelve Jews to kill, you kill five of them, how many Jews do you have left to kill?
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Those sound like school math test questions, not job interview ones.
Estimate how many infidels there are in the middle east right now that need killing.
Please talk about a time you had a disagreement with a Shia colleague and how you handled it?
How many sticks of dynamite can you fit in a Peugeot sedan? Before the suspension starts to visibly sag?
Explain Jihad to an 8-year old in 3 sentences or fewer.
Brought to you by dice.com (Score:5, Funny)
This story has been brought to you by your dice.com overloads.
Which makes it even more disturbing...
Wonder that the health benefits are like. :P
HR? (Score:1)
I wonder if they have a fat-ass HR clown drilling them on stupid questions like "well, we are looking for somebody with X years experience in suicide bombing"
Innocent is a relative term here (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Naw, they just don't think of people who are unlike themselves as people, and they're sure God agrees and will reward them for killing them.
One question (Score:1)
How do you get references from dead martyrs?
Likely True (Score:2)
I Applied (Score:5, Funny)
I applied, but the recruiter insisted I already have five years experience in suicide bombing before he could get me a decent placement.
Re: (Score:1)
At least it's not Java
Listen, if you wanna join Al Qaeda... (Score:2)
Listen, if you wanna join Al Qaeda, you have to really hate the Americans.
"I do!"
Oh yeah? How much?
"A lot!"
Right, you're in.
Available Job titles (Score:1)
Dinghy 'Captain'
Box truck 'Driver'
Fuse lighter
Foot switch operator
Parking lot attendant briber
U.S. Navy public access schematic reader
skiff load capacity mathematician
HR (Score:2)
Bureaucracy (Score:2)
In other news: Bonsai Kitten (Score:2)
Seriously!
Do you remember the 90's widespread hoax of a company selling kittens grown up inside glass bottles as "bonsai"? I consider this to be on the same level of hoax - but for some possible state-intelligence level sponsoring that could be used to stir even more the rage against "the terrorists". Just to keep the wars going, you know.
"Please write clearly and legibly." (Score:3)
So, does this mean that somewhere out there is someone who wanted to join Al-Qaeda and become a terrorist and blow themselves up and all that jazz but got rejected for poor penmanship?
"Well, Ahmed, you scored high in fanaticism and lack of moral scruples, but this application is frankly a mess. I could barely read the thing. I'm afraid you're just not what we're looking for, sorry. Have you tried Amway?"
"They sent me here."
Re: (Score:2)
Except maybe hijacking strike drones.....
Re: (Score:2)