Children To Parents: 'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me' (nytimes.com) 80
HughPickens.com writes: Sites like Facebook and Instagram are now baked into the world of today's families. Many, if not most, new parents post images of their newborn online within an hour of birth, and some parents create social media accounts for the children themselves -- often to share photos and news with family, although occasionally in the pursuit of "Instafame" for their fashionably clad, beautifully photographed sons and daughters. Now, KJ Dell'Antonia writes in the NYT about the growing disconnect between parents and their children and the one surprising rule children want their parents to know: Don't post anything about me on social media without asking me. "As these children come of age, they're going to be seeing the digital footprint left in their childhood's wake," says Stacey Steinberg. "While most of them will be fine, some might take issue with it." Alexis Hiniker studied 249 parent-child pairs distributed across 40 states and found about three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media. "Twice as many children as parents expressed concerns about family members oversharing personal information about them on Facebook and other social media without permission," says co-author Sarita Schoenebeck. "Many children said they found that content embarrassing and felt frustrated when their parents continued to do it."
When researchers asked kids what technology rules they wished their parents would follow -- a less common line of inquiry -- the answers fell into seven general categories: 1) Be present -- Children felt there should be no technology at all in certain situations, such as when a child is trying to talk to a parent. 2) Child autonomy -- Parents should allow children to make their own decisions about technology use without interference. 3) Moderate use -- Parents should use technology in moderation and in balance with other activities. 4) Supervise children -- Parents should establish and enforce technology-related rules for children's own protection. 5) Not while driving -- Parents should not text while driving or sitting at a traffic light. 6) No hypocrisy -- Parents should practice what they preach, such as staying off the Internet at mealtimes. 7) No oversharing -- Parents shouldn't share information online about their children without explicit permission.
When researchers asked kids what technology rules they wished their parents would follow -- a less common line of inquiry -- the answers fell into seven general categories: 1) Be present -- Children felt there should be no technology at all in certain situations, such as when a child is trying to talk to a parent. 2) Child autonomy -- Parents should allow children to make their own decisions about technology use without interference. 3) Moderate use -- Parents should use technology in moderation and in balance with other activities. 4) Supervise children -- Parents should establish and enforce technology-related rules for children's own protection. 5) Not while driving -- Parents should not text while driving or sitting at a traffic light. 6) No hypocrisy -- Parents should practice what they preach, such as staying off the Internet at mealtimes. 7) No oversharing -- Parents shouldn't share information online about their children without explicit permission.
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> glad I didn't have that open up at work.
You must be in the US. DO they still make breastfeeding mothers go hide in a special room at your work?
Not sure how this is relevant though. I think TFA talking about social media posting that might embarrass the *child* in future. Not the mother (should she emigrate to a more conservative culture.)
Re:children To Parents (Score:4)
You must be in the US. DO they still make breastfeeding mothers go hide in a special room at your work?
I'm in the US, in Texas no less, which tends to still have that nonsense...
Yea, people here are sexually repressed, which is probably why we have so much sex in advertising.
But movies with huge violence are still PG-13 while movies with naked boobies are rated R.
Yes, our "religious right" is nuts, what can you do?
BTW, I watched part of that video. While the mother has very nice breasts, there is nothing sexual about that at all. It is a very loving act by a mother feeding her child.
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PG-13 is 'huge violence' now? How soft and spineless we've become..
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Have you seen Lord of the Rings? You would take a 13 year old to that? Or worse, a 10 year old, which I've seen happen as well.
Avengers is not violent? Transformer is not violent?
This is not spineless, this is non-stop violence that is not good for young minds that cannot process it. The last 30 min of the third Transformers movie basically never stops, it is nothing but explosions and mayhem.
This is not good for kids. It is probably not good for adults either, but we at least have a chance to put it i
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Violence is normal and accepted. Everyone knows that.
Sex is abnormal and shunned. Everyone also knows that.
Also, nakedness leads to sexiness, so we can't have any of that either.
But evisceration and mutilation? That's fine. People do that all. the. time.
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When Winslet posed nude in a screening of Titanic, there was a 8yo instructed by his parents to turn around and not look. Sacramento CA, not the butthole of the US.
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When Winslet posed nude in a screening of Titanic, there was a 8yo instructed by his parents to turn around and not look. Sacramento CA, not the butthole of the US.
Well that just goes to show you that "progressives" in the US aren't so progressive. :)
I'm in Texas, both my 7 year old daughter and 10 year old son have watched that movie. The parts that I was most worried about was the shooting (both at Kate and the suicide of the officer who shot the passenger), which we paused the movie and talked about.
The boobs? Don't bother me or my kids a bit, I talk to my kids about that sort of stuff and put it thus: "God made us all in his image, naked and perfect. Humans are
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Have you seen Lord of the Rings? You would take a 13 year old to that?
I saw Aliens and Predator around the age of 7. I was running around blowing up demons in Doom when I was 8. I don't get the issue.
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I don't care what bodily function you're doing, don't let me see it. Gotta shit? Go find a private room. Piss? The same. Vomit? If you can make it...I realize some times you can't. Nobody wants to see any bodily function, really. It's because we all live in this thing called a "society", where we all agree to work together so that we can all live well. What pisses us off the most? When individuals think they're better than everyone else and the rules don't apply to them.
Don't want to live in our
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I don't care what bodily function you're doing, don't let me see it.,
You know breathing is a bodily function too, right?
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Do you mind seeing people eat?
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Your sheltered upbringing is showing. Live sex shows (full penetration, various genders, anatomies and species) have been a popular form of entertainment for millennia.
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I don't care what bodily function you're doing, don't let me see it.
While you're welcome to that viewpoint, you aren't likely to get very far. After all, eating is a bodily function.
Just because you want something doesn't mean you're right or that you should get it. Maybe you're a racist. Fine, but that doesn't mean you get to discriminate when you hire people. You live in this thing called society, where we all agree to work together so that we can all live well.
One of those things is respecting a woman's right and need to breastfeed her child without making a big deal
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The mothers in my office that pump while at work would not want to do it at their desk. In Europe is it common for mothers to pump while sitting at their desk?
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Well of course it is. Everything is an 'offense' in hyper lefty countries. Such dainty peoples. Like almost anything else that involves bodily functions, typically, mothers here WANT privacy for that.
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Yes. For the same reasons we make people go to special rooms to defecate, change clothing, and prepare meals. I realize in your country people defecate in the street, nurse their babies in cesspools, and let diseased livestock wander aimlessly...
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Can someone explain to me why /. doesn't ban URL shorteners? ... calling out site domains between [brackets], to be strict in this regard.
It would be nice to show the dereferenced link domain for url-shorterners, but in this particular case it would not help you. It would be [youtube.com], which is safe as youtube blocks porn etc quite quickly. Poster could have used a youtu.be url too. /. could somehow block links to unlisted youtube videos, which are more likely to offend, but ... you know .. its just harmless G-rated boobies, not goatse.
Maybe
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Or this [youtube.com].
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It's even worse than that. There are people out there now who just watch for any picture-taking... not of them specifically, but anywhere in their general vicinity... so that they can be offended by it. On multiple occasions over the last several years, I've taken pictures of or with friends, or of events taking place in public (Not just random happenstance events, mind you, but also planned public events like the SF Pride parade & festival.); and had some random unknown person come up to me, demand t
Both ways? (Score:2)
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I find it amusing to spark them into a chain of excuses as to why 'that is different!', until they are willing to talk instead of demand.
Take the pictures and movies of your kids (Score:5, Funny)
But don't post them. Use them for blackmail when they don't do their homework or clean their room.
Kids will have plenty of time... (Score:5, Insightful)
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Breaking news... teenage kids are embarrassed by oblivious parents!
In other stunning news, people, including many parents, post waaay too much personal crap on Facebook.
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In my case, it goes the opposite way. I don't have Facebook and I ask my kids to not post pictures or anything about me online - in a way that's identifiable. They understand and (I think) are willing to do so. So long as it's not identifiable to random strangers, I don't care. I've been doxxed and quasi-stalked before and the kids experienced that so they're also rather wary. It's not been a problem but it is a discussion that we've had.
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Breaking news... teenage kids are embarrassed by oblivious parents!
In other stunning news, people, including many parents, post waaay too much personal crap on Facebook.
It's not just teenage kids. I was in my 40's when my mother discovered Facebook. It took several serious discussions to get her to understand(*) that "her" anecdotes about things that happened when I was a kid violated *my* privacy.
(*)Actually, I don't actually believe that she technically understands it yet. But she does understand that if she doesn't learn to filter herself, family members are not going to communicate with her.
Won't someone please (Score:2)
'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me'
Won't someone please stop thinking about the children?
Same thing in reverse! (Score:2)
Parents to children! :P
Grandmothers are terrible... (Score:2)
Oh shut up (Score:2)
If I want to post about you on Facebook, I'm gonna go ahead and post about you on Facebook. I brought you into this world and by god I will take you out again.
And stop eating all the cereal.
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Rules 2 and 4 conflict (Score:2)
2) Child autonomy and 4) supervise children. I wonder if those two came from the same children, or different ones. I hope that parents are smart enough to be the parents, and choose the right option. Sorry kits, you have to grow up to have autonomy.
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Not necessarily. The key is that the supervisory rules are concrete and laid out beforehand rather than "I don't like this so I'm forbidding it, I know it when I see it." It can't be seen as arbitrary.
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There should be a gradual move from Rule 4 to Rule 2.
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Facebook is already used in investigations. Hope there will be no regime investigating against YOU. Or Jews. Or people with beards. Who every is the new target.
Don't circumcise them without asking them, either (Score:1)
Braggarts (Score:1)
Negotiate With Children?! Madness! (Score:2)
I dunno about other countries, but in AMERICA, we make use of our chattel however we damn well please! I did 'build that' therefore it's mine! /s
Help help I'm being oppressed! (Score:2)
Seriously every kid finds photos of them older than about 1 year from their current age embarrassing. OMG don't post that I had braces then! OMG don't post that I had long hair and wore pink all the time! OMG don't post that I'm still in the womb!
If anything the wide distribution of photos may show kids that the world doesn't end and it's nothing to be embarrassed about.
In Australia showing these photos has been a traditional right of passage. When you're 21 friends and family will attempt to dig out the mo
Not a new issue (Score:4, Insightful)
Yes, this is truly ground breaking material (Score:2)
"three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media"
Yes and three times more children than parents think there should be rules about parents coming to school dances; and about parents talking to said child's friends; and about what parents wear; and about parents dancing or singing.
Having raised two children myself, I have no doubt in my mind that there are several such topics kids feel more strongly about than the parents. And several such topics
It's not just about 'Childish' Embarrasment... (Score:2)