Companies Wake Up To the Problem of Bullies At Work (wsj.com) 217
Reader cdreimer writes: According to a report in The Wall Street Journal (possibly paywalled), two-thirds of Americans have reported being bullied in the workplace in the last year (up from half in 1989) and boorish behavior by bosses and coworkers are causing companies in lost productivity. The report reads: One of the first things visitors notice when they enter the Irvine, Calif., offices of Bryan Cave LLP is the granite plaque etched with the law firm's 10-point code of civility. The gray slab, displayed in the law firm's reception area, proclaims that employees always say please and thank you, welcome feedback and acknowledge the contributions of others. Such rules may seem more at home in a kindergarten than a law firm, but Stuart Price, a longtime partner, says they serve as a daily reminder to keep things civil at work. Incivility -- and its more extreme cousin, bullying -- is becoming a bigger problem in workplaces. Nearly two-thirds of Americans reported that they were bullied at work last year, up from roughly half of workers in 1998, according to research conducted by Christine Porath, a management professor at Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business. These people reported they were "treated rudely at least once a month" by bosses or co-workers in the past year -- which Prof. Porath defined as being bullied.Bullying costs companies in ways large and small, cutting into productivity and turning off customers, management experts say. Workplace behavior is under the microscope after recent allegations of sexual harassment in Hollywood, technology and media. Some companies have found, as a result of investigations into harassment claims, that bullying and boorish behavior are more common than suspected.
Lies, damn lies, statistics (Score:5, Insightful)
"treated rudely at least once a month" by bosses or co-workers in the past year -- which Prof. Porath defined as being bullied.
That explains the ridiculous result right there. In other words, a load of garbage.
Rudeness is not bullying (Score:3, Insightful)
But, "being treated rudely at least once a month" is NOT the same as being bullied.
Re:Lies, damn lies, statistics (Score:5, Insightful)
I agree. Someone who defines bullying as rude behavior has never actually experienced bullying. I can deal with a few rude coworkers. One actual bully would be enough for me to leave a job.
Physical violence, physical intimidation, or threats of physical violence is definitely bullying. Bullying can be verbal, but that is harder to define. Verbal bullying can take the form of a boss or coworker yelling, swearing at, and insulting someone. For example, if you go into work every day and have your boss yell at you saying that you are a f***ing idiot and can't do anything right, I would classify that boss as a bully.
Having coworkers fail to say please and thank you is definitely not bullying.
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For example, if you go into work every day and have your boss yell at you saying that you are a f***ing idiot and can't do anything right, I would classify that boss as a bully.
Unless, of course, you are an idiot, having sex, and can't do anything right (including the sex you're having).
Aside from that unlikely circumstance, yeah, this guy's a delicate snowflake incapable of functioning as an adult.
Re:Lies, damn lies, statistics (Score:4, Insightful)
What you are talking about is a hostile work environment.
You do not need that to be bullied. I see people going out of their way above your heads to get fired, work sabotage, those laughing and humiliating you in front of coworkers, and even customers.
I have seen managers give me 80 hours a week of work at me and laugh because they think it's funny and mention I know you are not good standing with your boss. Do this or I will call him etc. The work didn't even need to be done. This was very bad as it was constant and was done to fuck with me.
These can all be bullying. NO snowflake as not everyone has the ability to quit bad environments like this. I went on medication and therapy from that job.
Thankfully the assholes left after 2 years but the damage it done to my reputation was irreparable and after I had experience on my resume I was happy to leave.
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I've experience several of the above myself; in one case the manager was complicit with the perp and I had to leave. In the other the perp was used to stack ranking and was given a promotion; I had to find a different group to work with.
My current company has explicit anti-bullying policies. Mostly it works, but with some individuals it's still there.
One correlation is that often but not always the perps have purchased graduate degrees.
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I have seen managers give me 80 hours a week of work at me and laugh because they think it's funny and mention I know you are not good standing with your boss. Do this or I will call him etc. The work didn't even need to be done. This was very bad as it was constant and was done to %%%% with me.
And you wouldn't consider that a hostile work environment?
Re:Lies, damn lies, statistics (Score:4, Insightful)
Your examples are also very direct. Let's not forget those people who gaslight, steal credit, spread rumours, and otherwise attempt to subtly sabotage your career.
You don't even need to be present to be bullied.
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I agree. Someone who defines bullying as rude behavior has never actually experienced bullying. I can deal with a few rude coworkers. One actual bully would be enough for me to leave a job.
Physical violence, physical intimidation, or threats of physical violence is definitely bullying. Bullying can be verbal, but that is harder to define. Verbal bullying can take the form of a boss or coworker yelling, swearing at, and insulting someone. For example, if you go into work every day and have your boss yell at you saying that you are a f***ing idiot and can't do anything right, I would classify that boss as a bully.
Having coworkers fail to say please and thank you is definitely not bullying.
It can also be bullying by isolation. Someone wants you to suffer, so meetings are held where you are not invited, and the topics concern your responsibilities or areas of expertise. In corporations, there is a lot of jealousy, and jealousy breeds bullying.
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I gotta agree. You can get whatever results you want if you redefine words enough.
"100% of those surveyed reported being paid their wages, which Prof Dumbass defined as child pornography."
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Really? YOu never worked with assholes, insane psychopathic VPs or project managers, or coworkers who shout loud how they love pussy and picking girls while you and your whole department look bad?
I don't believe you. I experienced it all and I guess unless I did programming (I was dumb enough to listen to slashdotters 15 years ago say India would take my jobs so drop computer science) and went into a more high demand field I can't do jack about it like 90% of most people.
We have bills to pay. I have quit on
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If I'm correct about which comment you're replying to, I think you've misread it. He didn't say there is no workplace bullying, he said that rudeness is not bullying.
Re:Lies, damn lies, statistics (Score:4, Insightful)
Ok, wow....just....wow.
The snowflakes have really come into full bloom.
I mean, someone being rude or not saying thank you, is now bullying????
I mean, I actually try myself, to be the friendliest, easiest going and helpful person at work.
But every once in awhile, we're all human, and some idiot (and yes, they *do* exist) does something to fsck up a conference with all the bosses on, or messes up a systems doing stupid shit, and well....you just hit your boiling point and perhaps are a tad less than polite....now, you are considered a bully and subject to HR??
You know..often, by doing this, you are leaving the stupid folks around and getting rid of the smart employees, that actually have zeal and passion for their job and their work (hence they lose it occasionally when blocked with idiocy).
And then they wonder....why is productivity and innovation going down?
You know, I've been asking for years what will happen when all the kids that got a trophy just for showing up get into the work force.
I had originally thought they'd have to learn some tough life lessons and adapt to adult life.
Instead, it appears the workplace is caving and worrying more about feelings, safe places, diversity and so forth than they do about WORK and winning in the market.
At least..if the definition of bullying is brought down to this level....ugh.
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You're mistaking the definition of bullying for the measures taken to avoid it. There's an office code of civility that is intended to create an atmosphere that discourages bullying. If bullying costs productivity, and in my experience it does, then trying to avoid it is a very reasonable thing to do.
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My son's previous school claimed sarcasm was bullying.
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Or fall for taunts of 7-digit, 5-million ID, 6-post trolls.
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My usual trick to is so what no Slashdot troll would ever expect and read TFA, but in this case it's paywalled. I say we ban paywalled articles.
Thanks for flagging this one up.
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If I'm rude to a colleague, that's almost certainly not bullying. If a colleague's manager is rude to a colleague, that could well be bullying, since the colleague usually has no choice other than to shut up and accept the rudeness. Depending on the rudeness, this can get serious.
Re: Lies, damn lies, statistics (Score:1)
That's cool. Keep buying that ransomware insurance.
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Right. The problem here is that "shouldn't be" is not synonymous with "isn't". Some people like to behave in certain ways disregarding what it does to the company and company goals.
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TFS said nothing about a moment of rudeness. It said monthly for a year. If your boss is rude to you once or twice, that doesn't count. It has to be a pattern.
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There is another kind of asshole. The one who won't work unless you are an asshole to him/her.
If you employ persistent assholes, of any kind, the best move is just to fire them. That's often the employee, not the manager/coworker forced to be an asshole to get the persistent asshole to do any fucking work.
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Sure. And, if someone's underperforming for that long, don't continue to employ that person. It beats nagging at them for a year and getting nowhere.
Is this really new? (Score:1)
It's not a secret that a toxic work environment reduces productivity. What exactly is taking place here that's new?
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Define "toxic". I have worked in numerous environments where superiors were blunt, curt, and insistent. That could easily be interpreted as rude behavior by some, but in many environments that increases productivity by "encouraging" people to be more efficient and more productive. Steve Jobs was famous for being someone unfun to work with.
Re:Is this really new? (Score:4, Interesting)
Just because abusing people has benefits for the company doesn't make it right. The kind of environment you describe treats employees as disposable tools.
If also point out that it didn't prevent major gaffes at Apple anyway. It makes you wonder if engineers knew about things like the iPhone 4 antenna but didn't want to tell Jobs for fear of his reaction.
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Haters gonna hate. [tumblr.com]
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Apple sans Jobs had a decade long joke of a project called Copland (and other names). Apple with Jobs wasn't perfect, but Apple without Jobs just couldn't execute.
Do you remember emulated code in the file system and network stack? It was a bad, unfunny joke. At least until the MacIdiots started talking about how superior MacOS was, then it became really funny.
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There was one person in my company who I didn't report directly to, but who would publicly and loudly berate his staff whenever they did anything wrong. Messed up in any way? He'd loudly yell at you so that everyone could hear. I always dreaded when I had to deal with him out of fear of getting the treatment despite not reporting to him. I'd define that as a toxic work environment. Screw ups happen and sometimes an employee needs to be taken to task for it. But doing it as loudly and publicly as you can sho
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The definition of "bullying" apparently meaning "being treated rudely at least once a month", with "rudely" apparently meaning "not saying thank you".
"Always say please and thank you" (Score:2)
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It sounds to me like something of an experiment. The idea appears to be that normal respectful behavior will likely cut down on bullying. It's not completely out there. We know that, when attitudes cause external effects, changing the external effects can change the attitude.
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Standard for bullying (Score:1)
When I look at what was considered bullying 20 years ago versus today I see a completely different standard. With all of the new perceived micro-aggression for bullying it is no wonder that the rate of it has spiked.
Re:Standard for bullying (Score:5, Informative)
Bullying, at least the schoolyard kind, has also spiked because of social media. When I was in high school, I was bullied mercilessly. A group of kids would follow me around taunting me and blocking my entrance to class. Individually, they would leave me alone, but in groups they got brave. This might not seem like much, but repeat this after every class. Every day. For three and a half years. I was getting paranoid to the point that I thought anyone who laughed was laughing at me. I never contemplated suicide or lashing out with mass violence, but had things tipped one way or another I can, in hindsight, see how it could have led there. (A friend of mine finally talked to them and they claimed they didn't realize what they were doing was hurting me because they were "just having fun.") The one solace I had during this time was that I would be left alone once I stepped off the bus and entered my house. The bullies couldn't reach me there. I was safe.
Fast forward to today. My son is entering high school. If he were to encounter a similar bullying group, the bullies could "follow him home" via social media. They could taunt him online or, if he's not on social media (which he isn't yet), they could set up fake pages purporting to be him and posting messages intended to embarrass him. Bullies today can wipe away any safe space that a bullying victim has and make their torment 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. This means the bullying victim can reach the "lash out violently" or "kill themselves" point much quicker - especially if the taunting includes the bullies "having fun" by telling their victim to kill themselves.
Then there's the higher prevalence of reporting bullying. When I was in high school, my options to respond to my bullying were "shut up and take it" or "punch the bullies." They outnumbered me so I figured that fighting them would only wind up, at worst, with me beaten up and taunted for it or, at best, sent to the principals office (and taunted for that). So I kept quiet and took the abuse. Today, bullying is recognized much more as an issue and more outreach is done to let victims know they have a third option of telling an adult who can handle the situation.
I'll agree that the idea of "microaggressions" is garbage, but that isn't the only source for the spike in the rate of bullying.
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And yet your first paragraph is a perfectly decent description of them. Don't you even see that?
Re:Standard for bullying (Score:5, Insightful)
You think a group of kids following someone around and taunting them is a "microaggression"? A microaggression is "brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults toward people of color."
These kids weren't just shouting one insult as they passed by me one or two times in the halls. They would follow me no matter where I went. If I tried to lose them in the crowd, they'd stick with me and taunt me for trying to get away. When they didn't follow me, they would go to my next class (which meant they needed to know my schedule) and would block my entry (letting other kids through). While I tried to push past them, they'd verbally abuse me more. They would do this EVERY day between EVERY class for three and a half years. That's classic bullying behavior, not saying something that was insulting to me without realizing it. For all their "we were just having fun" claims after the fact, they KNEW they were targeting me for abuse and actively engaged in this behavior.
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So given that, why do you object to the term?
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You didn't have to win the fight, you just had to HURT them.
But for almost everyone, high school ended at age 17-19.
Bullying doesn't mean what it once used to mean. (Score:1, Flamebait)
Back when I was in school, bullying was what an older kid did to the small nerdy ones like myself until I got some balls and went down on the ground. Bully never tried to mess with me again.
Nowadays, it sounds like bullying is someone getting mad at you for whatever reason. If you're underperforming at work, not showing up on time, delaying delivery of products, and/or costing the firm money you shouldn't be surprised if someone gets angry at you and tells your lazy ass to do work.
To be blunt, most of the "
My experience of workplace bullying (Score:5, Insightful)
(This is a repost of a comment from a previous bullying discussion.)
If you've experienced workplace bullying first hand then you know what a destructive force it is. Your workplace becomes a place of dread and fear. The stress becomes not just a part of your daily life, but a part of who you are as a person. It changes you.
My own experience of being bullied began when I took a job with a company that had just promoted a long-standing employee in to a management position. He had no experience of managing people, he received no training, and he openly said that he didn't want the job. He was visibly stressed almost constantly, and resented that he was still expected to work and not just manage other people's work.
Very early in the job I was shouted at in the middle of a busy office for completing a task that should have been cancelled. It was a foul-mouthed and very personal tirade of abuse, accusing me of being untrustworthy, and came totally out of the blue. Then my manager realised that he had forgotten to mark the task as cancelled, and quietly in a private room away from other staff, he apologised and promised never to speak to me like that in front of people again.
The details of bullying incidents are generally repetitive and boring, so suffice to say, this was just the beginning of what became regular abuse: Shouted at in the middle of the office for things I had allegedly done wrong, and then apologised to in private.
I put up with the abuse for way too long. I'd spoken to my union rep and kept a bullying diary as advised, but I never started a grievance procedure. Colleagues said I should, and one day I ended up talking to the company secretary about it, but I backed off, determined to resolve the issue myself. Ultimately, I told myself, this is a case of two grown men having a clash of personalities, and I should be able to resolve it. But of course I couldn't.
After about a year I had to take time off work for an unconnected health reason, which seemed to go on a lot longer than one might expect. After a week back at work, I was off again with flu, which seemed to go on forever. My doctor was puzzled and I was sent to the hospital for tests. But in conversation with my doctor one time I mentioned about how it was actually quite nice to be off work because it was an escape from the bullying, and it was as if I'd said the magic word. My doctor was certain that the stress of being bullied was the root cause of my poor health. It explained everything. It turns out that a year of sleepless nights and constant anxiety isn't very good for you.
When I finally had to take formal action against my manager, the company was combative, and handled it on the basis that I was making it all up. I opted for the least "official" form of grievance, third-party arbitration, and my manager held his hands up to what he'd been doing and promised to change. Whether he could or not, I don't know, as I've not been well enough to return to work yet.
(Iâ(TM)ve since left that job and my career has gone from strength to strength ever since.)
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Re: My experience of workplace bullying (Score:2)
Thanks. I left the company about 3 years ago. There are still some residual health problems, but Iâ(TM)m doing well. Iâ(TM)m now freelancing for a small number of very good clients, including the one company that I always wanted to work for. So Iâ(TM)m in a good place :-) Leaving that job was one of my best decisions.
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Many folks have been there to some degree or so...
But really man...and I have done it....if someone gets in my face THAT badly, and keeps doing it (everyone blows it some time)....I would tell the dude off and tell him FUCK YOU if he started that shit on me in public.
At best, you gain some respect standing your ground...at worst, well, you find another job, and if it is hell you work at, why do you stay there?
Re: My experience of workplace bullying (Score:4, Informative)
In theory I agree 100% and Iâ(TM)d say the same thing. In practice itâ(TM)s different.
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Some people just are wired that way. Getting the nerve to tell a "superior" (I use that term loosely here) to fuck off and die might be easy for you but that would be impossible for others. This runs the risk of getting fired, and depending on how that is handled by the company that can mean not getting unemployment insurance and make it difficult to find other work. That alone can be quite stressful.
I can't say that I've seen bullying in the workplace but I have seen conflicts of personalities. This ca
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In other words, you live your life in this little bubble where you don't do anything that could be a risk. Bad idea.
Children, in particular, are necessary for the future of the species, regardless of the consequences. It's a really good thing that people in general don't follow your advice.
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It's there any possibility of a good outcome of you do that? I can think of only bad ones.
- You get fired, now you need a new job fast and won't have a good reference from your previous employer, plus stress and potential relocation.
- It escalates the situation and it gets worse.
- The boss backs down but your working relationship is destroyed, and you may well get some kind of retaliation like a poor review or bad assignments.
This is why there are employment laws, arbitration and HR procedures. It's not you
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I've seen it done to others and experienced it myself. It is sometimes very hard to determine exactly what harassment is, especially when the boss picks out one or two people and only treats them badly.
One manager I had, harassed many of us, but ultimately was let go only after sexual harassment claims. My coworkers could see what he was doing, but pinning down exactly what he was doing was nearly impossible. The c-suite knew him longer than most of us, and just figured it was a bad fit for the first 20
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Thanks for sharing your story. I've had similar stuff happen and just had to get out. Like you that turned out to be a good career move too. Left me with permanent poor health though, it's no joke.
Re: My experience of workplace bullying (Score:2)
Iâ(TM)m sorry to hear that you had a similar experience. The health implications arenâ(TM)t something you think about at the time. Youâ(TM)re just trying to get through each day. Itâ(TM)s only when the damage is done that you know about it.
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Thanks. You are right, and the health issues come on so slowly that it's usually too late by the time you even notice them.
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That sounds more like a societal problem and crappy labour laws than bullying. They felt they could get away with it because you society is biased against the worker in favour of the employer. In other countries of your boss goes nuts like that, the worker is likely to hand the abuse straight back ie defending themselves as workers and the boss is likely to be in trouble both civilly and criminally (dependent upon what was said). As such behaviour like that rarely happens and in turn, it tampers down social
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Your bullying story sounds very familiar to me. Only mine wasn't a workplace one, but back in junior high school. I had a kid I was friendly with until one day when he started stabbing me in the back - literally, using a sharpened pencil. Then he'd blow spitballs at me. After a few weeks of abuse, he'd apologize and say that some kid told him I had said something mean about him. We'd be best friends again for awhile and he'd repeat his abusive behavior. Then he'd apologize again and - stupid me, I'd forgive
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After about a year I had to take time off work for an unconnected health reason, which seemed to go on a lot longer than one might expect. After a week back at work, I was off again with flu, which seemed to go on forever. My doctor was puzzled and I was sent to the hospital for tests. But in conversation with my doctor one time I mentioned about how it was actually quite nice to be off work because it was an escape from the bullying, and it was as if I'd said the magic word. My doctor was certain that the stress of being bullied was the root cause of my poor health. It explained everything. It turns out that a year of sleepless nights and constant anxiety isn't very good for you.
This literally happened to me also, not as long as you, but enough to affect me physically. I vowed never to allow myself fall into such a situation. Like you, my work life has gone from strength to strength.
I'm glad that you got out of that. It was for the better (it always is.)
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Why do so many people use "pussy" as an insult? I've very much enjoyed every pussy I was privileged enough to interact with. And using it as a term of weakness? Have you seen what can come out of them? If you don't have one, think about putting a softball through one of your orifices intact.
This Just In ! (Score:5, Funny)
Two thirds of American's are little bitches.
USA contrasted with... (Score:4, Informative)
Re:USA contrasted with... (Score:4, Informative)
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I live in the USA and you're mostly treated as a disposable liability.
But, but, but ... "Employees are our most valuable asset." - says every company ever.
[ They always forget to mention the part "Until you're not." ]
Re:USA contrasted with... (Score:4, Insightful)
asset
An asset is not a person. It's a thing. A resource. A human resource, which can be leveraged and used up.
I'd love to see more places go back to personnel offices and staff support offices. I'd love to hear companies speak of employees like something other than a lump of coal to be tossed into the boiler.
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" I'd love to hear companies speak of employees like something other than a lump of coal to be tossed into the boiler."
Not going to happen until you people start getting a clue that your masters don't even practice what they preach, you guys need to stop licking the balls of capitalist ideology so hard and ask tough questions about whether rule of law can even exist in a high tech society. How is one to hold a big company accountable when you are hundreds of miles away from it? I have serious doubts most
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I live in the USA and you're mostly treated as a disposable liability. It's sad how in America they pay lip service to making workplaces safer and friendlier but they only do this to comply with some law, regulation, or trend. It's all token. Any time you take any action, it's assumed that you're the problem child. Not good at all.
And that is why we are supposed to keep a diary or some other means to track everything significant that happens so we can defend ourselves when the time comes. It also behoove us in this country to be proactive (whenever possible) in our professional network so that we can jump ship as soon as possible instead of having to deal with shit.
At one point or another we have to deal with shit. It is unavoidable. What is not avoidable is to have to deal with shit longer than necessasy.
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...Spain, where they have clearly defined legal definitions of what constitutes work place bullying.
That's cool. What definition do they use?
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in the military it's called a code red (Score:2)
in the military it's called a code red and it's for training.
Get Even (Score:2, Insightful)
If you're getting legit bullied by an entrenched malicious psychopath or sadist, don't go to HR. They're in management's pocket and probably know the person is a SOB anyway. Get a body cam. Record that motherfucker. Create a montage of his or her patterned behavior. When you've had enough, make it understood that social media is a very powerful tool.
Re:Get Even (Score:5, Insightful)
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The problem too is many poorly run HR departments consider YOU the problem as well. There would be no paperwork if you and Jack couldn't get along right?
It reminds me of school as children. If you stand up for yourself the principle nails your ass too for defending yourselves. After all you started it right?
Also it sends a scary message to the rest of the employees not to cause trouble or end up like this guy over there etc. Yes, this happened to me at a previous job when I had to defend myself and confront
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Note that if you record the audio without their permission, it is illegal and you could go to jail for it.
Correction. "Could be illegal". It depends on the state you are in. If it is a single person consent state, then the fact that you know you are recording it makes it legal. If it is two party consent, then all people being recorded need to be notified.
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Even in a two party state, you can record in a public place.
In a private place, notification isn't generally enough. They have to consent. You want to record them consenting.
Whining can be bullying too... (Score:5, Insightful)
People that are prone to be sensitive and have increased leverage for political correctness reasons are themselves frequently bullies. Anyone that has been 6 years old will remember the child that cried to get another child in trouble. Anyone that watches sports will be aware that on occasion someone will pretend to be injured to encourage a referee to punish the opposing team.
We all know this because I assume we've all been 6 before and are aware of professional sports to some extent.
This plays out in the work place in much the same manner in that some people will pretend offense or emotional injury for personal gain or to spite someone they don't like.
There is a movement to discourage awareness of this element of the work place. And while some feel this creates a more welcoming environment for people to express problems... it also encourages abuse by those that don't mind pretending to manipulate their coworkers and employers.
One must be skeptical and reasonable either way. If you get a report... use your best judgement and try to appreciate what is possible and what you know. Naturally you don't want a hostile work environment. But you also don't want a hair trigger whine fest environment because that is also quite hostile.
In the one case you have some bully beating people up for their lunch money... in the other case you have your little sister Susie pretending some imaginary offense to get your mom to punish you... yes... I am intentionally using childish analogies here to get the point across.
What absolute bollocks. (Score:2)
People that are prone to be sensitive and have increased leverage for political correctness reasons are themselves frequently bullies.
What absolute bullshit.
Bullies prey on the weak and vulnerable. Bullies will not act without overwhelming support because they are inherently cowards.
Pointless rant against "teh Pee Cees gone madddddssdzzzss" is pointless. You have no idea what bullying is, especially bullying in the workplace.
Bullying amongst colleagues is easy to define, saying or doing something you've been told not to because it's annoying, upsetting or interfering with a colleague. If you think that the colleague is being irra
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Very aggressive statement you made there. I'm frankly feeling a little bullied by you right now... this is not feeling like a safe environment.
Please watch your tone. You words scare me.
And if you don't find that credible... consider that you're arguing against yourself.
Its heads I'm right or tales you've contradicted yourself.
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stoicism has its weaknesses as well... I prefer cynicism.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... [wikipedia.org]
General principles in a nut shell:
1. Keep a clear view of what is actually going on.
2. Let people be people and understand that everything has to operate according to human nature.
3. Foster self direction and freedom in people so they can do what they want to do without artificial barriers.
4. Encourage people to be individuals and not get trapped in hive minds. All this PC crap is group think garbage.
5. Sacred cows mus
I must be getting old... (Score:1)
If someone is curt or rude on occasion, it's not bullying. We're all human and have bad days. Of course no one should take out their personal problems on their coworkers or subordinates.But it's going to happen from time to time. No one is perfect. If your boss looses his temper from time to time, it really sucks. But unless they are doing this on a regular basis and/or actually threatening you, it's not bullying.
I know I can't be the only person on /. old enough to remember the grade school adage, "St
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I've been on the receiving end. (Score:2)
Ok hold on a minute.... (Score:2)
If being "rude" to someone is considered bullying then where does the passive-aggressive BS fall? Because I have worked with loads of people that might seem as nice as can be but that PA behavior is absolutely toxic. It is sneaky, underhanded, disingenuous and clearly designed to hurt and embarrass people. Yet it is tolerated, and sometimes even encouraged and rewarded, because on the surface it seems polite.
Sometimes I long for the days when you could just tell someone to fuck off. None of this "ohhh than
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I answer 'Anything is possible'.
People that know me (everybody in the team that can make a decision) understand that their is a silent second phrase...' but that's the stupidest thing I've heard in a LONG time'. I sometimes phrase it as ' but their has to be a better way that that!' when cluing people into the 'code'.
Pineapple on Pizza (Score:3)
I mean REALLY Evil.
The most EVIL of all the Pizza toppings including the dreaded Anchovy.
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Artichoke hearts. Spit.
Not on pizza!
Irvine, Calif (Score:2)
California. Of course.
How its handled in NJ (Score:2)
I have yelled at coworkers (Score:2, Insightful)
not because I'm a bully, but because they're dumb as a fucking rock and the only way they finally get the point to stop asking the same GD questions is if I growl at them.
I don't mind the first question. Second time I'll tell you to write this down. Third time I'll tell you to refer to your notes and anytime after that, I'll probably yell at you for being stupid.
So I'll quit being mean to them when you quit hiring idiots.
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not because I'm a bully, but because they're dumb as a fucking rock and the only way they finally get the point to stop asking the same GD questions is if I growl at them.
I don't mind the first question. Second time I'll tell you to write this down. Third time I'll tell you to refer to your notes and anytime after that, I'll probably yell at you for being stupid.
So I'll quit being mean to them when you quit hiring idiots.
I did that once after being verbally abused for an hour.
HR kept the abuser and let me go for yelling to teach the other employees a lesson on proper behavior. I am still suffering to this day from the damage of the reputation done.
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It's like cancer or Alzheimers, or any other awful thing: If you haven't lived through it, you really don't understand it. And it's real easy to sit around saying "why, little kid, why'd you let your father beat on you? if it had been me, I'd have punched him in the face and walked out!"
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Implying I don't understand it?
Not sure I have the time to write it alldown: But here's a taste.
I was an effeminate boy child. Silky hair, delicate features. Cried easily. Got to live pretty much from as early as I can remember until late high school being mistaken for a girl accidentally ("and what will your daughter have to order?") to constant, pervasive bullying.
How about getting on the bus as a FIRST grader, proud of the new hat I got for Christmas, only to have a senior high schooler tear it from
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Total agree. In the old days, priests would fuck altar boys in the ass and no one would report it.Today, it's fashionable to complain about it rather than working with the person in a position of power, or in certain cases, around them.
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Only a loser Omega thinks Alpha equals bully.
Bullies are generally shitty leaders, but with some people the only way to get any work out of them is be an asshole. Your best bet is just fire them and concentrate on building a strong team of adults. 'Identify the root asshole' is key. Accept that everybody is an asshole at times.
Which isn't to say I don't have complete disrespect for 'leaders' that specialize in bullshit (e.g. 'Give us 110%') and are often bullies. In that case your best bet is quit.
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