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The Almighty Buck The Courts

Bad News for 500K Crypto Investors: They Don't Own Their Accounts (msn.com) 178

"More than half a million people who deposited money with collapsed crypto lender Celsius Network have been dealt a major blow to their hopes of recovering their funds," reports the Washington Post, "with the judge in the company's bankruptcy case ruling that the money belongs to Celsius and not to the depositors." The judge, Martin Glenn, found that Celsius's terms of use — the lengthy contracts that many websites publish but few consumers read — meant "the cryptocurrency assets became Celsius's property."

The ruling underscores the Wild West nature of the unregulated crypto industry. On Thursday, New York Attorney General Letitia James moved to impose a kind of order, or at least legal repercussions, on Celsius founder Alex Mashinsky, whom she accused in a lawsuit of defrauding hundreds of thousands of consumers.... And while Glenn's ruling won't affect FTX, whose terms of use were different, some analysts saw the ruling as spreading beyond Celsius.

"There are many other platforms that feature terms of use that are similar to Celsius's," said Aaron Kaplan, a lawyer with the financial-focused firm of Gusrae Kaplan Nusbaum and co-founder of his own crypto company. Customers need to "understand the risks that they are taking when depositing their assets onto insufficiently regulated platforms," he said.

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Bad News for 500K Crypto Investors: They Don't Own Their Accounts

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  • Yawn (Score:5, Insightful)

    by dontbemad ( 2683011 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @03:39PM (#63187818)
    Another day, another story about crypto "investors" getting fleeced. What will we find out next, that these "financial instruments" don't actually have any underlying asset or material value?!
    • They invested in education, specifically to learn that you can get nothing for something. ... is what I would say if I didn't know most of those "investors" are just plain folk just who were hoping to get a little break in life and trusting that the people who make the technocratic class work for the benefit of everyone.

      • Re:Yawn (Score:5, Informative)

        by 93 Escort Wagon ( 326346 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @03:57PM (#63187856)

        Hopefully at least a few people (whether investors in this particular scam, or not) are learning that maybe, just maybe, financial regulations exist for a good reason.

        • I am just curious with crypto (not trying to take sides), but can someone explain to me why these exchanged actually hold coins? Is it that people were to lazy to buy a physical wallet that are sold a lot, or could not be bothered to install a wallet software on their local device? My understanding is exchanges go from one coin to another. You bust out your wallet, you send them 1x bitcoin, and get 5x etherium or whatever back. Why are so many coins actually held here by theses exchanges?
          • Re: Yawn (Score:5, Informative)

            by gweihir ( 88907 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @05:49PM (#63188106)

            The main reason for exchanges to be needed is that all crapcoins have laughably low transfer speeds and ridiculously high transfer fees. An exchange can short-circuit that by pooling everything together and not doing the actual transfers on the blockchain. The only time an exchange may go to the blockchain (but does not have to) is when a victim/customer wants to withdraw their funds or when they pay in crapcoins. That is also one of the reason why it is typically very easy to buy in at an exchange with real money but far harder to get real money back out.

          • by ceoyoyo ( 59147 )

            It's not an exchange, it's a "lender." It's right in the summary. Lending stuff that doesn't belong to you is generally frowned upon. Lending stuff that you don't have also.

          • by AuMatar ( 183847 )

            Do you think the average person knows what a wallet is? Or has the technical ability to use one? Or has the technical knowledge to secure and back it up effectively, and the computer on which it resides? Especially given that a major crypto developer just proved he couldn't as he lost over 3 million USD to a compromised PC? Banks exist for a reason- to safeguard and protect money. The same reasons you don't hide your dollars in your mattress are the reasons why people would use an exchange.

        • Re:Yawn (Score:5, Insightful)

          by gweihir ( 88907 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @05:45PM (#63188094)

          One of the core reasons financial regulation exists is to protect non-experts. It is actually not good for society and the economy when regular people lose all their savings. Usually, there are very little and only rather obvious scams for regular people to "invest" their money outside the protection of regulation. The accomplishment of the crapcoin industry undoubtedly is that they managed to scale up their scam so fast that regulation did not catch up to them before they began cashing out massively and falling left and right. Of course, laws on fraud may and will still get some of them, but that is far too late for those non-expert "investors" that were arrogant enough to think they understood what they were "investing" in.

      • The problem with this education is the same as with the rest: A lot of people get it, but won't learn a thing.

        • by gweihir ( 88907 )

          Unfortunately true. Most people are not even really capable of learning facts. And mechanisms? Forget it. Apparently only about 10...15% of the population are "independent thinkers" and these are the only ones that can really learn things with reasonable speed and effectiveness. The rest either follows what those around them do or have their own fantasies about how things work.

          As a corollary of this mess and others the human race is in, this mix does not work and this installment of the human race is an obv

      • Re:Don't forget. (Score:5, Informative)

        by Opportunist ( 166417 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @04:13PM (#63187898)

        But not the stupid.

        There is a fine line between bravery and stupidity. That line usually is knowing when to be it and when not to.

      • Fortune favors the brave, while Forbes caters to the stupid. Hence, a plethora of articles about cryptocurrency.

      • Fortune favors the wealthy.

        Destruction favors the brave.

        While it's true that only a brave knight can slay the proverbial dragon and claim its horde... history tends to overlook the corpses of the hundreds of equally brave and skilled knights that fell before one was finally also sufficiently lucky to succeed. Not many knights are famous for *two* dragon-slayings.

        High risk investments are indeed where all the big money is to be made, but they're called high risk precisely because you will almost certainly l

  • by atrimtab ( 247656 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @03:40PM (#63187822)

    Let's all trade our real money for some digital bits and give it to scammers!

    Wow! If you are holding crypto you are about to find far far fewer greater fools to sell to.

    • And I was already puzzled by gift certificates and why people are stupid enough to buy those things.

      I mean, think about it. What do people say when buying these? "Here is 50 bucks. This is legal tender anywhere. Could you rig it for me that I can get a token that is only redeemable in here and only for a limited amount of time?"

      • by Kernel Kurtz ( 182424 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @05:41PM (#63188082)

        "Here is 50 bucks. This is legal tender anywhere. Could you rig it for me that I can get a token that is only redeemable in here and only for a limited amount of time?"

        Yeah, actually. My sister-in-law loves to read. We have some overlapping tastes in genres, but I really don't know what particular book to get her for Christmas. What if she has already read it? Or somone else gives her the same title? Careful interogation about her current reading status might help, but that seems kind of lame in itself - basically "tell me what book you want for Christmas".

        So I give her an Indigo-Chapters gift card (specifically not an Amazon gift card), certain that she will buy a book that she wants to read, but does not have yet. It will still be from me, and hopefully she enjoys it.

        I'd rather someone give me a gift card specific to one of my interests that I can narrow down myself, than give me something they chose because they know I like cars, audio, etc, but in the end I is something I really have no use for. Like the stereotypical Christmas sweater is to clothing.

        • I have a more pragmatic approach to gift giving. Ask me what I want and then buy it. I'll ask you what you want and then buy it. We exchange gifts, we are both happy because it's exactly what we always wanted.

          • I have a more pragmatic approach to gift giving. Ask me what I want and then buy it. I'll ask you what you want and then buy it. We exchange gifts, we are both happy because it's exactly what we always wanted.

            Begs the question why bother exchanging gifts at all then if the outcome is prearranged? "Once or twice a year we each charge a purchase to each others bank account/credit card." Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas!

            I remain unconvinced that is a better show of caring than the chain encumbered token (unless the person recieving your gift can't fix thier car or pay the rent or something, I suppose. There is always that).

            At least I can give my sister-in-law a gift card for the local gardening store ins

        • Okay, I can kinda see the personal touch angle if you're buying a gift card to a sufficiently narrowly-focused merchant that they are actually interested in.

          But frankly, cash with even a brief personal note proving you put the thought into it - "I figured there's probably a book you've been wanting..." - is going to be superior in every way. Unless they're so compulsively frugal that they have trouble spending gift money to indulge themselves (I've been there), in which case "It's not possible to spend thi

        • Money works well also and it's not restricted to an interest.

    • by bjwest ( 14070 )

      Let's all trade our real money for some digital bits and give it to scammers!

      Any money not in your wallet or under your mattress is nothing but digital bits in the ether of the banking industry's computers.

      • by ceoyoyo ( 59147 )

        Yes. There's a notable part of the GPs sentence that you are studiously ignoring, however.

        • by bjwest ( 14070 )
          I hope you're not referring to the word scammers, because anyone who charges you a fee to hold your money or loans your money out for five to ten times the interest they pay you to "hold" it is the definition of a scammer.
          • Nope. A scammer is someone who misleads you for their benefit. Banks are quite upfront about what they do with the money that you put in your account, and what they do to protect you from a run on the banks. So, they are not scammers.

            It is true that there are far better things you can do with your money than leave it sitting around in a bank account. That's why wise investors keep only a small percentage of their wealth in such accounts. They refer to it as "liquid assets" because of how easy the money

          • The part you miss is the more transparency there is, the less the word "scammer" is accurate. There is far more transparency in banking, their regulations, and what they do with your money than there is in unregulated investment schemes. I know my bank is doing that with my money. So why is it a scam?

    • No one gives money to scammers. The whole point of a scam is that the people handing over the money consider the transaction / person legitimate.

  • hilarious? My sides hurt from laughing so much.

  • ... the judge in the company's bankruptcy case ruling that the money belongs to Celsius and not to the depositors."

    The judge, Martin Glenn, found that Celsius's terms of use ... meant "the cryptocurrency assets became Celsius's property."

    Pwned and boned at the same time. [*golf clap*]

    Time to actually read those Terms of Use/Service, especially when your money is at stake -- lest it become their money.

  • by octagon ( 13923 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @03:53PM (#63187848)

    One critical information that doesn't seem to be highlighted in the in the summary is that the depositors agreed to allow celsius to invest the crypto on their behalf in exchange for a high yield interest rate. This promise was contingent upon the solvency of celsius.

    Always read the fine print.

    High yield != no risk.

    This scenario isn't unique to crypto.

    • Were they "depositors"? Based on this ruling I'd guess they were legally what we normally call investors. When you buy 100 shares of Apple, you don't own the money you spent on the Apple shares any more. What you own is the shares. If they go up, yay, you can sell them for more money than you spent to get them. But If they go down, you don't get to "withdraw" your $USD "deposit" any more.
      • by butlerm ( 3112 )

        The problem is all interest bearing accounts should not really be considered deposits either. There is real risk involved and interest bearing accounts ought to be considered a special type of investment. It is only government protection that allows banks to run de facto hedge funds with your government guaranteed "deposits".

        Privatize the profits, socialize the risk. Is there a better example of that out there? Do FDIC deposit insurance rates come anywhere close to covering the systemic risk in the "depos

        • Well I'm not sure FDIC is the right target for criticism, because 1) FDIC-insured deposits have earned interest at far less than the rate of inflation for many years now, and 2) the FDIC insures the bank's depositors, not its creditors. If the bank invests unwisely and goes bankrupt, what's supposed to happen is the banks owners lose their investment and its employees lose their jobs, but the FDIC pays the people who had deposits there. Depositors have no say in how a business is run. I don't think anybo
  • 500M? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by bill_mcgonigle ( 4333 ) * on Saturday January 07, 2023 @03:57PM (#63187854) Homepage Journal

    8% of the world's population doesn't have a Celsius account. 500M? Really?

    • Re:500M? (Score:5, Interesting)

      by laughingskeptic ( 1004414 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @04:19PM (#63187912)
      My guess: Money laundering. Celsius did not charge transfer fees, so mixing using Celsius accounts could be done with no gas fees. Many accounts were also probably used for just one crime and discarded. This number represents the scale of criminal activity occurring not the actual humans having accounts.
    • It's Editor David being inaccurate, to put it mildly.

  • Crypto is a scam, but this is troubling. How are your accounts, in which you have put in money, not your accounts, based on lines in the ToS?

    Almost seems like someone was bribed
    • they are not banks with laws the cover accounts that is why crypto let's launder money as it's not an bank so that law does not cover us

    • by gweihir ( 88907 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @05:36PM (#63188066)

      These scammers are not covered by banking regulation at all. In fact what they offer you is unregulated commodity trading. Hence you have not "put in" anything. You basically bought an option on something with fictional value instead. Perfectly fine on the financial side, although these financial instruments do normally not get sold to non-experts. I believe at least in some banking systems, it is even illegal to sell them to non-experts (because these are not equipped to understand what they are actually buying), but that is a limitation that applies to banks and regulated financial institutions. With DeFi, you lose any and all protection. Which is kind of what the DeFi fanatics wanted. Oh and look, they cannot competently handle their money when the protections are gone. No surprise.

  • Keys (Score:5, Insightful)

    by blackomegax ( 807080 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @04:07PM (#63187880) Journal
    NOT YOUR KEYS, NOT YOUR COIN.

    Say it out loud. Then keep repeating it until it sinks in.
    • by gweihir ( 88907 )

      NOT YOUR KEYS, NOT YOUR COIN.
      Say it out loud. Then keep repeating it until it sinks in.

      With the complete disconnect from reality that the average crapcoin "investor" routinely demonstrates, they will need several lifetimes until that sinks in....

  • They own fuck all, why their accounts of all things?

  • An unregulated miasma
    • by gweihir ( 88907 )

      Yep. Just another instance of "Be careful what you wish for.". Pretty good one either. Also demonstrates nicely that simple models of reality have gross inaccuracies and these can and often do kill all predictions made using that model.

  • Whoever has the wallet is the owner
  • Oh no! "I centralized my de-centralized currency and now it's all gone"

    • by gweihir ( 88907 )

      Yep.

      Crypto-"investor": "All my Apes! Gone!"
      Sane person: "No, there is one left..."

      With apologies to all real apes.

  • I mean this has been clear for like half a decade. Have these people been completely ignorant as to what they were doing with what was formerly their money?

  • by BytePusher ( 209961 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @05:17PM (#63188026) Homepage
    All crypto exchanges are a scam. Every business fails, gets bought out, or integrates with the government. For crypto exchanges it means:
    1) account holders lose their balance
    2)Account holder lose their balance when the buyer realizes taking the balances is more profitable than the business itself.
    3) Account holders lose their balance when the government decides youâve committed wrong thought.

    If you own crypto, you have to own your wallet and have the key hidden/encrypted. Also, nowadays, sanctions are making some crypto funds 'dirty' meaning you'll never be able to convert them to fiat at market rates. So, you need a ZNK proof crypto for value storage, not a mixer crypto.
  • But an obscure paragraph in the wall-of-text terms of service lets it bite like an aligator.

    • by Ed Tice ( 3732157 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @08:26PM (#63188472)
      It neither walked like a duck nor quacked like a duck. Celsius was promising returns an order of magnitude higher than what banks were paying. There simply weren't assets out there that would generate this type of return. You would have to be pretty blinded by greed to think that any money going to Celsius wasn't an obscenely risky investment or a fraud.
  • by nsaspook ( 20301 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @05:43PM (#63188088) Homepage

    https://cointelegraph.com/news... [cointelegraph.com]

    Other community members echoed the sentiment and highlighted that if it could happen to Dashjr, there would be âoeno nopeâ for their grandma. A Twitter user also brought mass adoption to the conversation. They believe that if a top Bitcoin developer cannot keep his wallet secure, mass adoption is a âoepipe dream.â

    • A top Bitcoin developer *can* keep his wallet secure. Convert what's in the wallet to cash and deposit it at an FDIC insured bank. I'll gladly help him for free.
    • I trust myself to manage my own BTC keys far more than an exchange. At least I have control of if I screw up or not, but with an exchange, there is nothing I can really do to protect myself. Until the holdings are moved or spent, all I basically have with an exchange is an IOU.

      For example, if I am hodling stuff, having an offline wallet is my best best, where the private key is split among m of n shares, in multiple locations, and so on. That way, it doesn't matter how compromised my local stuff is, the

  • They Don't Own Their Accounts

    It was already funny when withdrawals were halted.

    They. Ahahaa. Don't. Hehheh. Own. Pffffteetee. Their. Bffffffffffft. Accounts! AHAHAA HAA HA HA HAHAHAHA!!!!!

  • amazing how quickly new currency standard collapsed
  • by Meneth ( 872868 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @07:50PM (#63188412)
    Of course, you never own any account. That's the whole point of them, to let companies own things for you.
  • win stupid prizes.

  • Leonine Contract (Score:4, Interesting)

    by cowdung ( 702933 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @10:26PM (#63188692)

    This sounds like fraud to me. But at least it sounds like a leonine contract.

    A contract cannot favor one party completely without giving any recourse to another.

    This judge seems to be missing a screw.

  • by Petersko ( 564140 ) on Saturday January 07, 2023 @11:16PM (#63188776)

    I know it's a back alley, and I'm wearing sunglasses and a trenchcoat at night, but I'll look after your money. It's still yours - I'll just hold it temporarily.

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him. -- Bion

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