DIVX is dead 284
Breakdown was the first to send the word that DIVX is dead. Hooray! Now, I think I might finally be able to get off of their mailing list. And, if you purchased a system before June 16, 1999, you get a 100$ rebate.
Update: 06/16 01:09 by CT : They cite
lack of interest from studios and other retailers. They also say
that most Circuit City consumers bought DivX (they gave away 5 free titles
and the cost difference was almost negligible so I found
that amusing). All I can say
is R.I.P. DivX.
PT Barnum is spining in his grave (Score:1)
INSTRUCTIONS FOR DIVX CUSTOMERS! (Score:1)
Or was a selling point for DivX not those five free DivX movies?
Let me tell you about the time we had a customer return a one-year old computer for full refund because the salesman told her the machine would not go out of date that quick. Or the time I heard of a man who returned a fully-paid for Lexus because it kept having engine trouble.
Now, surely CC can give you five movies for this major fuckup? Here's a tip, absolutely demand you get the movies, you may have to talk/yell at each successive level of management. Where I worked, I was the third level of management. If I could not get the customer happy, and passed them to the next level (General Manager), the GM gave the customer whatever they wanted to be happy.
Most retail stores implement 3-4 levels of management before you get whatever you want to make you happy. Work the system.
Go for it!
Some other ideas for requests:
-full refund
-new DVD-only machine (to replace poor-quality Divx DVD playback)
-ten DVD movies
Don't let businesses screw customers.
Re:Circuit City (Score:1)
Circuit City pushed DIVX like there was no tomorrow. It was quite disgusting. Their sales people would show DIVX players if you asked to see a DVD player or sometimes even a VCR. And, at least at my hometown Circuit City, every single computer in the store had a screensaver saying "ASK ABOUT DIVX!" (of course it had a password... ;)
Re:Open Standards and Closed Failures (Score:1)
However, you can tape DVD->Beta, and not get Macrovision troubles, which is cool.
-----------
Yep, this is true (Score:1)
Re: "dead" formats (Score:1)
Alex Bischoff
---
Vinyl: not dead. (Score:1)
- A.P.
--
"One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promotional Ad
Direct Drive is not superior. (Score:1)
- A.P.
--
"One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promotional Ad
ha ha (Score:1)
Let's define "beta"... (Score:1)
Taco says RIP? I say Burn in Hell! (Score:1)
I've noticed the members of the pro-DIVX crowd often argue that it beats going to Blockbastard and having to worry about late charges. I don't get this. Doesn't a DIVX disk cost more than a rental? Isn't that like having the late charge built right in?
Also, you gotta be pissed if you 'silvered' your DIVX disk for unlimited viewing and it expires in two years. Doesn't sound very unlimited to me.
Re:But check Circuit City's web page! (Score:1)
They must have seen your response.... but look at their page again and see the total turn around... gotta love it... back-pedaling dolts....hehehehe
L8R
Re:No foreplay ==death (Score:1)
What don't they understand is that people need the neat blockbuster house and piles of video paper boxes to work up their appetite. If you don't have to go back to return the tape, then you don't have enough reason to convince yourself that you need a new tape either. There are some titles you never thought you would rent when you are doing the selection at you sofa.
Moral of the story: Foreplay is good, return is good, repeat after me.
CY
Re:Future DIVX Only releases (Score:1)
That means Titanic and Star Wars and all that cool Fox movie will be released in DVD.
CY
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:1)
1.) You buy a DIVX disc for a bit more than the price of a rental.
2.) You "activate" it and watch it.
3.) It expires.
4.) If you want to watch it again, you can "rent" it again at a later date. If not, it makes a stylish
coaster.
1) That's not good. Besides, mom and pop video rental is a lot cheaper than DivX/Blockbuster. Nobody goes to blockbuster to rent tape unless he/I want a really rare one.
4) Just image storing piles of old useless CDs at your home at you can't throw out. It's not a problem if it's Maltese Falcon or such, it's the stupid Godzilla/Batman and Robin/Speed2/*Silver*/hook/Flubber/ that you rent on a soulless afternoon that giving you headache. Oh yeah it's not a problem if you are a neat person. But a lot of people aren't.
Basically DIvX is an all around bad idea, it introduce stupid multiple choise to consumer.
cy
Don't be dissin' Laser Disc (Score:1)
DVD has the region coding, which means that I can't buy Japaneese imported DVD's and play them without brakin' the law, and they also have the macro encoding, which even if you don't want to make illegal copies is inconvienient if you don't have enough inputs on your TV, and need to use the ones on your VCR.
I can also get LD's really cheap now because all the fools are replacing their whole collections with DVD's. There are also many many titles which are on LD but will never see the light of DVD, at least not any time soon.
Re:Don't be dissin' Laser Disc (Score:1)
Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:1)
Re:Don't be dissin' Laser Disc (Score:1)
Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:1)
Re:Morons, care to comment? (Score:1)
And if I wanted to take the bus into the next town, I could rent five laserdiscs for five nights for five bucks. Can't beat that.
Re:Future DIVX Only releases (Score:1)
As for Disney, just take a look at recent releases: A Bug's Life, Mighty Joe Young, The Parent Trap.... I don't think there's any danger that they (or any other studio) are going to drop DVD just because DIVX died a much-deserved death.
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:1)
"Sir you have five dollars in late fees."
"No, I have no late fees due."
"Sir, you have no late fees due. Have a nice day."
Re:Faith restoring! (Score:1)
Consumers choose DIVX? Maybe it was because the salespeople at Circuit City would flat out lie about DIVX. They would sing its praises and if you asked them the right questions, such as whether you could watch the movie at a friends house, they would either lie or change the subject. I actually did this a couple times just to see what they would say. I hate morally bankrupt salespeople. DIVX deserved to fail and I hope Circuit City took a good hit to the wallet.
Expires on 20010630? Well, isn't THAT special!!?? (Score:1)
1) That all existing discs can be viewed only for the next two years, and (even more so)
2) That "upgraded" discs ALSO have that limit!
So it sounds like there's an "end of the world" switch built into DIVX, or else there's a fair bit of remote reprogramming that can be done on those things. Not Very Nice.
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:1)
The press release says it all. Disks that were upgraded to silver will still play until Sept. 2001.
The 'Silver upgrade was advertised as a 'purchase', and was to last forever.
The other factor is that a 'Silver' disk only works on your own machine, take it to a friend's house, and you have to pay the rental fee. OTOH, pay the same amount for a DVD, and watch it anywhere. If the company you bought it from folds up tomorrow: still watch it anywhere.
There were also issues of quality, and the DivX encoding wouldn't allow for alternate audio, and various other extras that DVD can have.
Then there's the millions of plastic disks going into the landfills since you only wanted to rent, not own that particular movie.
Other than that, it was great.
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:1)
Re:Massive DIVX returns... (Score:1)
Why not a lawsuit. In this case, there's a very specific and real consumer issue. They sold people the DivX player based on a specific feature which is now going to be shut off by remote. I'm sure they were very quick to assure the potential buyer that DivX would be around forever.
In short, specific feature claims were made that just aren't true.
The real reason DIVX is a bad choice.. (Score:1)
Re:Geeks To Consumers: We Were Right After All (Score:1)
Why the fsck would I (or anyone) want to pay-per-use across the internet to an Adobe Software server for Photoshop, rather than simply buy the CD, and install it on my local HD, and use it on a non-internet-connected machine?
That whole scheme is doomed to failure.
"The number of suckers born each minute doubles every 18 months."
-jafac's law
Re:PT Barnum is spining in his grave (Score:1)
Folks are still buying intel chips.
"The number of suckers born each minute doubles every 18 months."
-jafac's law
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:1)
Blockbuster can have their little database of how many times I've rented Blade Runner, or that time I kept The Truman Show two days past the due-date.
But I'd be an idiot to rent porno from Blockbuster anyway. There's other video rental stores than Blockbuster, there's still lots of little mom-n-pop shops that don't keep a national centralized database.
"The number of suckers born each minute doubles every 18 months."
-jafac's law
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:1)
$3.50 for a movie, 5-day rental.
If you return it within 24 hours, you get a $1.00-off coupon.
Now THAT'S an improved rental model!!
"The number of suckers born each minute doubles every 18 months."
-jafac's law
Strong Customer Support? (Score:1)
I think on my lunch break I'll go down to circuit city and point and laugh!
They're still trying to put a spin on it (Score:1)
Ha ha.
--
Re:Top X Things You Can Do With Your DIVX Disks (Score:1)
Geeks To Consumers: We Were Right After All (Score:5)
All Divx discs, including those previously purchased by
consumers and those remaining in retailer inventories, can be viewed on
registered players anytime between now and June 30, 2001.
The significance of this cannot be overlooked. This is empirical proof that any system that places consumer property under the access control of a remote body can, will, and just did repossess control of those goods, despite the (promised!) expectations of the customer.
Told you so.
The Geek Community was quite clear on this: DiVX gives corporations excessive control over the viewing habits of customers, and was generally an awful idea. Truly, we have the media outlets and electronic stores--corporations in their own right--to thank for realizing the inevitable result of any technically dependant system such as DiVX and protecting as many consumers as possible from what the Geeks always recognized as Bad Mojo.
What can we learn from this? SDMI--the MP3 competitor--is flat out doomed to fail if it attempts any sort of protection dependant on contacting anyone anywhere for permission to play a song.
After decades of ripping off artists, lets hope they don't move onto ripping off consumers. (Again. Spoiler Signal What?)
Yours Truly,
Dan Kaminsky
DoxPara Research [netpedia.net]
effugas@best.com [mailto]
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.
Yes... (Score:1)
...I knew Divx would not stay in the market for too long. Lesson learned? \begin{mode}{RMS from Hell}The proprietary technology is no match for the superiority of open standards. Muhahahahahhahahahahaha....\end{mode}
Re:At last, a stupid idea dies! (Score:1)
So it's like rentals, but you never have to return the item.
Maybe an ok idea in concept, but horrible in practice. Expecially if someone keeps playing the same movie over and over at your house without knowing that you'd be paying for it (amoung other problems)
Four thousand DVD titles isn't enough for you? (Score:1)
Re:Top X Things You Can Do With Your DIVX Disks (Score:2)
Re:Circuit City still advertising Div-X (Score:2)
hole punch (Score:1)
I have the collector's edition of Fantasia on LD which has a hole punched in it. It was in the "clearance rack" at a store that was clearing out of some of their LD stock a few years back. All clearance items were marked in such a was so as to denote no-return.
At least they were smart enough to take the contents outside of the box before putting the whole in it. The extra's(picture book, etc) would not have survived the drill very well :-)
So true (Score:2)
I've been picking up movies on Laser Disk(LD) for $5-7 a piece.
A couple comments on LD and DVD
* Resolution comparision based on NTSC. For NTSC, all images have 525 lines of vertical resolution. Horizontal resultion varies with the source material: VHS=240, Broadcast=330, LD = 420, DVD = 480. Resolution information from Secrets of Home Theater [sdinfo.com].
Re:DVD Compatible? (Score:1)
Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:1)
DiVX was never a format. Even 8 tracks enjoyed a few years of market share and lots of software. DiVX had neither, and thank your preferred deity for that.
Re:Open Standards and Closed Failures (Score:1)
| is completely unaffected by macrovision!
You'd see the same thing with many old VHS VCRs (and some new ones).
YYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!! (Score:1)
Hey I have one! (Score:1)
Today's English Lesson: Oxymorons
Re:Open Standards and Closed Failures (Score:1)
It'd kick ass to be able to go rent Matrix at blockbuster, take it to the studio, make a copy on one of the $20,000 decks, and add it to my collection.
Now I gotta get the vcd, convert the mpg to a mov for better playback on the G3, then just copy it on VHS or SVHS, doesn't matter though, by now its already what, 4th generation?
Re:Let's define "beta"... (Score:1)
BETA's only dead in the country where people think RAP is cool and geeks are freaks (popular opinion, not mine).
Hell, the euro's gonna squash the dollar anyway, right?
Brainwashing employees (Score:1)
I wonder if he'll believe me now.
Panasonic A120 (Score:1)
Get the A120 and upgrade your receiver to DD. You want DD in the receiver for neat future stuff like digital TV broadcasting with AC-3 sound. The A120 also features DTS (I _like_ DTS audio discs) and component video out.
I've got the A110 and I love it, though I suppose when I go to the FPTV I'll need component..
And yeah, Panasonic kicks some serious ass, their stuff is helluva tough... (loving my A110 + 32SF35)
Re:Panasonic A120 (Score:1)
(and I actually quite like DTS CDaudio, particularly the Steely Dan album)
ps: IIRC the Crutchfield price is $US349..
Re:Open Standards and Closed Failures (Score:1)
Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:1)
They might be in the consumer area, but aren't in the commercial area.
Re:Future DIVX Only releases (Score:1)
Are Porn movies coming out on DVD yet? If so, then DVD will NOT die...
Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:1)
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:1)
(Fortunately, there was that FCC thing a while back which was supposed to have opened the way for TVs and VCRs to include tuners for digital cable, so there is hope.)
Re:Two MORE words (Score:1)
GOOD RIDDANCE!
That about sums up my feelings on Divx.
Chas - The one, the only.
THANK GOD!!!
Divx was BORN DEAD (Score:1)
The message just wasn't registering within the ranks of the Divx-victims till now.
Let's face it. Inferior video quality, fewer features, less support, completely proprietary to one company, HAS to be hooked up to your phone, gives that company complete access to your credit card, viewing habits, etc.
It couldn't be worse if it was come up with by a bunch of suits and their lawyers!
...........
Waitaminute! It WAS thought up by a bunch of suits and their lawyers! No wonder it sucked so bad!
Chas - The one, the only.
THANK GOD!!!
No, DON'T Go buy a divx player! (Score:1)
Reread the article. The cutoff date is today.
Plus, I'm not going to burn my hard-earned cash on a dying horse like Divx, just so I can tell people I got a $100 back. That's like buying a Pinto so you can sue Ford after getting rear-ended and blown into the next area code (in little, itsy, bitsy pieces).
Chas - The one, the only.
THANK GOD!!!
Re:But check Circuit City's web page! (Score:1)
Two words (Score:1)
Christopher A. Bohn
Re:At last, a stupid idea dies! (Score:1)
Christopher A. Bohn
Re:Top X Things You Can Do With Your DIVX Disks (Score:1)
Christopher A. Bohn
Re:Massive DIVX returns... (Score:1)
Don't vaguely threaten a class action law suit. Instead, tell them you'll take them to small claims court. If you convince them you're serious, they're likely just to give you your money back insted of having to deal with hiring a lawyre et al. Also, in some states (like Massachusetts), you can actually sue for double or triple damages in small claims consumer cases, so they'd be even more inclined to just give you your money back rather than risking having to pay you three times its value.
good-move on (Score:1)
Re:Let's define "dead"... (Score:1)
Americans are just finally realizing MD exists (Score:1)
I think it is just beginning. We Americans are just a bit slow!
Future DIVX Only releases (Score:1)
'... and by the way - we were screwing you' (Score:1)
So when they said unlimited what they really meant was 'for as long as we feel appropriate'. We (and when I say we I mean 'them' who acutually bought this stuff) come out relitivly unscathed 'cause the whole deal fell apart so quickly. If Circuit City stopped supporting DIVX in 10 years time would i still get a refund on my 'unlimited' silver edition? Yeah right. But more telling - even when 'unlocked' silver divx needs to run home to momma for authorization? Sure it was unlimted but we were still tracking you - so there.
Of course - now it's dead and we can gloat but next time? Trick me once shame on you...
AdamT
Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:1)
Died a lot earlier than I had expected. (Score:1)
Now the big question is this: Since Divx is dead, will Eisner finally remove his cranium from his rectum and release Di$ney movies on standard DVD? I was pissed when they announced that "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" would be a Divx-only release.
Re:no... RIGHT (Score:1)
Quantity was, and is, more important than quality
to many people. When VHS and Beta were battling it out, lots of people had 8-tracks in their cars.
Now that it's possible to take digital music
for granted, it's less of a problem, but it
was a nuisance to me the low sound quality people
would settle for back then.
Re:Sad to see it go. Tired of BlockBuster (Score:1)
program to play the media. "
If I understand correctly, we have the very same
problem with DVD. In this respect, DIVX and DVD
do not appear to differ.
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:1)
You have to have this for digital cable in
my market. Calls to TCI did not result in
straight answers.
Good to see it go! (Score:1)
Re:Top X Things You Can Do With Your DIVX Disks (Score:2)
Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:2)
Laser Disc is alive and well. Perhaps you are thinking of those RCA Video Discs which were played with a needle?
--
Beta Myths - was Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:2)
Yes, the original Beta was slightly (not "a LOT") better than VHS in terms of recording quality (resolution). But how good can you get when you're limited by composite NTSC anyway? VHS won out because (a) it was a more open standard (Beta was closely held by Sony), and (b) you could put a full length movie onto a single tape.
The Beta that is used in TV studios and commercial camcorders these days is Digital Beta. Same tape cassette mechanism but a totally different recording technique, and utterly incompatible with the old Beta tape decks. It's the digital aspect that gives it the higher resolution than the old 3/4" UMatic cassettes they used to use (and are still used somewhat).
Re:Geeks To Consumers: We Were Right After All (Score:2)
Does this remind you of anything? Like the provisions in the proposed revision to the Commercial Code (I forget the new acronym) that allows just that with software licensing?
What can we learn from this? SDMI--the MP3 competitor--is flat out doomed to fail if it attempts any sort of protection dependant on contacting anyone anywhere for permission to play a song
Here's hoping that also applies to software that tries to go the rental or time-expired licensing route, as is rumored for upcoming versions of MS Office. (Don't pay the monthly rental, and Word locks up on you. Holding not only your app, but your documents hostage. (You don't actually believe that the default
Re: [Don't!] Go buy a divx player! (Score:2)
This announcement is great -- I laugh, ha ha! -- but I'm still not planning on shopping at Circuit City. Not until July 1, 2001, anyway...
(As an ex-military associate of mine is fond of saying, "defeat is in the pursuit". Or as an ex-fighter pilot puts it "don't stop firing when you see smoke, follow him down to the ground". We want to make sure DIVX is not just dead, but is buried, with a large wooden stake through its heart and a bundle of garlic around its neck. To remind others who might come up with similar schemes.)
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:2)
"Cut by more than half"? How do you figure that?
And in any case, it isn't necessarily true. There are far, far more video rental places than Circuit Sh.., er, Cities. When I return a video I just drop it off in the drive past drop-box, and the video store is on my way to work. No special trip involved. And the rental price is typically about half the price of a DIVX disc, which seems to have the late-return fee built in.
(Or I can rent a movie - VHS or DVD - at my local supermarket and return it next week when I'm back for next week's groceries. Only a buck for the tape, and the DVD rental is still cheaper than buying a DIVX.)
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:2)
The "great" pricing model just built the usual late fee (and then some) into the initial purchase price of the disc. Unless you're the type that routinely keeps rentals for a couple of weeks past due date, it doesn't win you much. If you usually return rentals on time (easy for me, I drop 'em off on the way to work), it penalizes you.
Around here I can rent two DVD's for a week for what a single DIVX would cost me for 48 hours. Worse than that, if you count mileage to the nearest Circuit City to buy the DIVX.
Re: [Don't!] Go buy a divx player! (Score:2)
Oh, and as for folks looking for a bargain when they sell off DIVX player back stock, keep in mind that no DIVX player sold on or after today will ever play DIVX discs, because you won't be able to register it (see the news release). (Even if you bought one last week, if you haven't registered it yet you're SOL as far as DIVX discs go.) It'll still play DVDs, but poorly.
Faith restoring! (Score:2)
We now have compelling evidence that the public isn't as stupid as some corporations think they are!
My favorite line (probably most people's):
"Sales at participating Divx retailers reflect strong consumer interest in the Divx feature," said Richard L. Sharp, chairman and chief executive officer of Digital Video Express and of Circuit City Stores, Inc. (NYSE: CC, KMX), the majority partner in the Digital Video Express venture. "The majority of customers purchasing DVD players in Circuit City stores have selected players that include the Divx option. Unfortunately, we have been unable to obtain adequate support from studios and other retailers. Despite the significant consumer enthusiasm, we cannot create a viable business without support in these essential areas."
"Strong consumer interest..." "significant consumer enthusiasm". Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.
Tell ya what DIVX dudes... If the consumer support was there, support from other retailers would have been there. Duh!
Hey DIVX, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of marketplace!
[gidyness] [grin]
Re:Hee Hee Hee (Score:2)
That would be the 8-track. The 8-track and the cassette were released almost simultaneously (1964, yes the formats are REALLY that old). Despite extreme marketing on the part of the 8-track camp, consumers finally figured out that cassettes had dramatically less wow-and-flutter, lasted much longer, and could be rewound and fast-forwarded forcrissakes!
As far as the other formats mentoned:
Laser Disks: Excellent format in it's time, superceded by a technologically more modern one, DVDs.
Vinyl: Ditto laser disks. An excellent format for it's day, superceded by newer technology.
Betamax: Actually dramatically superior to VHS in most respects. Killed by awesome marketing by the VHS camp (and Sony keeping the beta format so closed).
MiniDisk: Format that still has it's strong niche, and is likely to for a while.
The ABSOLUTE WORST aspect of DIVX (Score:2)
IMHO the overriding, super-duper, most appallingly horrendous thing about DIVX was this:
The disks are married to the player.
Buy a new player because you want do upgrade or, worse yet, because your old one broke and your collection of disks that you fscking BOUGHT just became a bunch of coasters.
Can you imagine if when you bought a new CD player, either as a replacement or a second one (a portable in addition to your home unit for example) if all your CDs wouldn't play on the new player and you had to buy second copies of them for the second player?
How outrageous can you get!?
Re:Expires on 20010630? Well, isn't THAT special!! (Score:2)
Yes, It's true.
And since I can think of absolutely no technological reason for this, I can only assume it was deliberate sabotage to attempt to cause people who bought DIVX players to have a preference for the "superior quality" DIVX releases.
Re:Top X Things You Can Do With Your DIVX Disks (Score:2)
Re:Could someone tell me why it was bad? (Score:2)
I didn't think this was true. I understood that the player would connect to a server through the phone line to charge you for additional viewings after the initial 48 hour rental. I didn't think this happened before any/every viewing. Sounded more like it kept track of your pay-per-views and connected at regular intervals.
Not that I think this is a good idea either, just seemed like the way this was stated was incorrect.
Re:Go buy a divx player! (Score:2)
No, not by most accounts.
And as far as saving $100, these players typically cost $100 more than DVD so you are getting no bargain. Now, if you could wrangle one for $100 total, but I would rather not give Circuit City any freebies buy taking one off their hands. Let them realize the full impact of this gaff and pay thru the nose to dispose of all these aborted devices.
So now I'll buy DVD player, any recommendations? (Score:2)
Re:So now I'll buy DVD player, any recommendations (Score:2)
That's a given
Now if I could figure out how to use a PC DVD to play movies and output the signal over to my TV, I'd be set.
Holding out until there is (better/widespread/any) support for DVD rom in Linux, tho...
(Father's day is this weekend, my wife is bugging me for ideas, Best Buy has the Panasonics on sale... hmmm)
Re:Go buy a divx player! (Score:2)
"This week only at Wal-Mart - get a free DiVX player and 100 free discs with any purchase of $100 or more!"
haahaahaa, assholes - serves them right
Re:Go buy a divx player! (Score:2)
"This week only at Wal-Mart - get a free DiVX player and 100 free discs with any purchase of $100 or more!"
haahaahaa, assholes - serves them right
Not weird at all (Score:2)
DIVX favored the licensor too much. (Score:2)
I celebrate this as a victory, because if DIVX suceeded, this type of arrangement may have spread elsewhere. It is very closed-system, inconvenient, and money-hungry. It'd work great for a monopoly.
Top X Things You Can Do With Your DIVX Disks (Score:2)
2) Coasters.
3) Frisbees.
4) Put one on your head and pronounce yourself the DIVX Angel. (4b: Join the circus)
5) Goes great with cabbage!
6) Amaze your dim friends by telling them that the disk will explode 48 hours after they watch it. 48 hours later, tell them the trigger must have activated but that there was some problem in the ignition system.
7) Keep them above your bed, so the first thing you do in the morning is giggle about the incredible stupidity of DIVX.
8) Label 52 of them differently and start playing DIVX poker at school. Guaranteed to befuddle just about everyone.