'I Was a Human Crash-Test Dummy' 71
kris writes "Salon.com has a gross story titled I was a human crash test dummy about a professor who gave his body for human impact-survival research -- and lived to tell the tale. 'We needed some information on what the human body could stand." This is what retired Wayne State University biomechanics professor Lawrence M. Patrick will tell you if you ask him why he agreed to be slammed in the chest by a 22-pound metal pendulum, to hurl one knee repeatedly against a metal bar outfitted with a load cell and to undertake some 400 rides on a rapid-deceleration sled that mimics the effects of a car crashing head-on into a wall. From 1960 to 1975, Lawrence Patrick was a human crash-test dummy.'"
Football Players (Score:4)
Who knows? Some people are junkies for pain, and some people subscribe to the 80's skater creed; "Chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever".
And there was me thinking... (Score:2)
(sorry, couldn't resist...)
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A real Crash Dummy (Score:1)
Although come to think of it, this professor's actions show that he is pretty much a dummy, after all.
Mike Eckardt [geocities.com] meckardt@yahoo.nospam.com
Darwin Awards nomination anyone? (Score:1)
Mmmmm (Score:2)
I'd pay money.
is that WSU as in Wayne, Nebraska? (Score:1)
If so, I'll have to tell my girlfriend about her alma mater. I'm sure she'll be thrilled.
CT
Stupidity is always painful? (Score:2)
Dates (Score:3)
-cpd
Bones heal, Chicks dig scars (Score:1)
Then again so are mine, but I'm too old to ollie anymore, and the only grinding I do is with women who dig the scar on my chin.
guess not... (Score:1)
Oh I guess hers was College. Hmm. OK, so where is WS University?
CT
and uh, other things (Score:2)
Didn't he mean lack of other things?
Re:No way. (Score:1)
CANCEL that please!! (Score:1)
Would you guys stop it with your cadaver argument? (Score:1)
Oh yea, this makes me feel A LOT better! (Score:3)
Can you imagine the reports collected from this? Maybe something along the lines of...
"After applying the collision test with various different animals, the following speeds much be achieved to severely maim or kill the following animals:
Chimpanzee: 34 mph
Pig: 41 mph
Dog: 38 mph
Horse: Could not fit in viechle
--Note: Remember to warn passengers horse can't fit in viechle
Cat: 47 mph
Hampster: Could not keep strapped in seat belt
--Note: Optional cage in viechle for hampster?
Guinea Pig: Inconclusive
--Seat belt strangled Bob's pet Guinea Pig, Chippy...may he rest in peace in the name of science
--Note: Jack lost the bet and paid Bob $10 since the innards of a Guinea Pig were pink, not grey.
Pigs were popular subjects because of their similarities to humans "in terms of their organ set-up," as one industry insider put it, and because they can be coaxed into a useful approximation of a human sitting in a car.
"Here pig, pig, pig, Here piggy, piggy, piggy! There's a nice piece of corn right here for you inside this car! That's right...it's good corn...yes, corn taste's good...(SPROING!) (SPLAT!)"
Less adorable was the experiment's objective: "To produce injuries sufficiently severe to cause death and possibly decapitation of the test animals."
Warning on side of car: "This viechle was designed for humans. We are not responsible for the injury, death, or brutal slaughter of any animals that might occur during an accident, including, but not excluded to, horses, sheep, pigs, cows, monkeys, chimpanzees, cats, dogs, guinea pigs (RIP, Chippy), rats, mice, and rabbits."
John Paul Stapp & Murphy's Law (Score:1)
On a Related Note, Am I just imagining things, or did Dr. Stapp [af.mil] recently pass away?
Depending on who is telling the story, He is either an inspiration or the inspiration for Murphy's Law [af.mil]
Re:No way. (Score:1)
Plus, it would be a real pain in the ass to try to figure out just what happened to the cadaver. I don't relish spending six months running MRI's on a corpse to see what trauma it suffered when I can just have a volunteer tell me how he feels after the crash.
ejector seats (Score:3)
It's in Detroit (Score:1)
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Re:A real Crash Dummy (Score:1)
Imagine having that on your resume? (Score:3)
1960-1975
Deceleration Coordinator
Duties included managing stress and failure studies on body parts, studying healing process, and testing new procedures for bandage and splint application. Travelled frequently, though trips were short in duration. Operated machinery in an unsafe manner.
- -Josh Turiel
Re:Darwin Awards nomination anyone? (Score:1)
Darwin awards require removing yourself, and all descendants (If applicable) from the gene pool.
Sorry.
Re:A real Crash Dummy (Score:2)
It's sort of like simulating nuclear explosions on supercomputers. Sure, today you can do it with reasonable accuracy -- but before all that nuclear testing was done, how could you have known that it was accurate?
-E
Can we have your liver? (Score:1)
Re:A real Crash Dummy (Score:1)
All I can say after reading the first page is... (Score:1)
Re:Football Players (Score:2)
Re:Football Players (Score:2)
The main point is that they don't live very bloody long. What a crap job. Unless you have a psychopathic love of football, why give up your life for millions of dollars when you can do a different sport, earn just as much money, and live a normal life.
The first rule of Human Crash Test Dummy Club is.. (Score:1)
Re:Dates (Score:1)
This reminds me... (Score:2)
As most people know, when you SCUBA dive, it is very dangerous to make a rapid ascent to the surface. You can get the Bends, or blow a hole in your lung or other nasty things can happen to you.
What this doctor was trying to figure out, was if you are performing an underwater rescue of a diver, and that diver is unconscious, do you take him up slowly (and risk not having enough time to revive him), or do you drop his weight belt and "Air Mail" him to the surface (where hopefully someone else can start to revive the person immediately).
In order to test his theory, he used himself as the victim. He dove down to 40 ft, and had someone knock him unconscious (probably with a hypodermic needle or something), and they fired him up to the surface... They repeated this several times. As far as I know, he suffered no damage, and his tests were a success
Now there is some dedication to your sport (and profession)...
ps are there any SCUBA divers on SlashDot???
- Cees
Television Documentary on this guy. (Score:2)
Re:Dates (Score:1)
I would have hated to have been the one that had to clean up *that* lab.
Re:Football Players (Score:1)
Re:Dates (Score:1)
-cpd
Re:John Paul Stapp & Murphy's Law (Score:1)
He was in San Diego two weeks ago for the eponymous Stapp Car Crash Conference.
Favorite quote: "it's the third derivative that gets you!"
-- Adam "scientists in the 50's had *all* the fun"
Applicability of animal testing to humans (Score:1)
For an illuminating view of animal testing (and it's worth / applicabilty to humans), I would recommend a book by (please don't laugh until you've skimmed it) G. Gordon Liddy, called The Monkey Handlers.
It's a fun read if you like macho action-thrillers (2-bit summary: ex-SEAL prevents terrorists from using nerve gas on NYC, after discovering the nerve gas' development at a plant in New York which was doing some *interesting* animal tests) and can accept fiction for what it is, but I won't get into the literary merits of it. Whole other story.
The part that's relevant to this professor is that there is simply no really good way to extrapolate results from (much) animal testing to human beans. There are anatomical, chemical and pyschological differences between / among species both obvious and subtle.
I am unwilling to engage in a flame-war on this topic, so please don't flame me on this. I'm *not* necessarily against animal testing, only mentioning in passing that a) there are shortcomings to it which can render it less than useful and b) that people make a lot of money from doing studies with results like the (humorous, but frightening) hypothetical results above.
And this is off-tpoic enough for several weeks
timothy
I wanna GPL my carcass (Score:1)
Yup, you can change anything you want, just tell me, and everyone else after you shove it back in. Together, we can build the perfect human!
Just please, for the love of God, scoop out the fat...
project Man-High (Score:1)
Re:Television Documentary on this guy. (Score:1)
Re:John Paul Stapp & Murphy's Law (Score:2)
Now using computers instead of people or animals (Score:1)
"By now, of course, the tolerance limits of the human body have long ago been worked out, and dummies and computers stand in for corpses and lab animals."
Speaking of Wayne State cadaver's (WSU is my alma mater) I remember a high school basketall game where my coach was ripping on some of my teammates during halftime. I believe his exact quote (minus the 4-letter words) was: "How many rebounds have you gotten? Zero? Son, I could of put a Wayne State cadaver out on the floor and he would of got as many rebounds as you did." I guess to update the insult he could say "Son, I could put a computer simulating a live person out on the floor and it would of got as many rebounds as you did".
-------------------------------------------o an of Arc was not stuck at the crossroads, either by rejecting all paths like Tolstoy, or by accepting them all like Nietzsche...She beat them both at their antagonistic ideals; she was more gentle than the one, more violent than the other...It was impossible that the thought should not cross my mind that she and her faith had perhaps some secret of unity and utility that has been lost. And with that thought came a larger one, and the colossal figure of her Master had also crossed the theatre of my thoughts." G.K.Chesterton in "Orthodoxy"
"J
Re:Television Documentary on this guy. (Score:1)
That documentary was shown here in Sweden too (in "Vetenskapens Värld", a while ago). It was a lot of stuff on how the cars got safer over time - for a long time the attitude was along the lines of "if the driver is stupid enough to crash, of course he must be hurt". All the blame was put on the driver, even if it wasn't his fault at all.
Nowadays, however, cars are designed in a much more sensible way, that is, "if you crash, the car will protect you as much as possible". It might not have been your fault that you crashed, after all...
USAF Dry Heat Tests? (Score:1)
Re:CANCEL that please!! (Score:1)
/rl
Re:This reminds me... (Score:1)
Yup. I think it's a good hobby for a hacker: you tend to take a different approach to testing when your life is literally on the line...
What this doctor was trying to figure out, was if you are performing an underwater rescue of a diver, and that diver is unconscious, do you take him up slowly (and risk not having enough time to revive him), or do you drop his weight belt and "Air Mail" him to the surface (where hopefully someone else can start to revive the person immediately).
Neither. You latch yourself tightly onto the victim, fill his BCD, lift his head up and tilt it backwards so his mouth is facing towards the surface, and then propel him to the surface at normal maximum speed (10 m/min), taking care to vent the BCD as you go up. The weight belt is only dropped once you reach the surface (or if the victim doesn't have a functional BCD).
Basically, you can revive an unconscious person, but if they (or you) get an air embolism or rupture their lungs on the way up they are dead. DCS (the bends) and even plain old drowning act slowly compared to these two instant killers.
In order to test his theory, he used himself as the victim. He dove down to 40 ft, and had someone knock him unconscious (probably with a hypodermic needle or something), and they fired him up to the surface... They repeated this several times. As far as I know, he suffered no damage, and his tests were a success :)
And people have survived going over the Niagara Falls in a barrel, but that doesn't make it a smart thing to do...
Cheers,
-j.
Oomf. (Score:1)
If you think you know what the hell is really going on you're probably full of shit.
Similar story (Score:1)
The article also tells you the origin of Murphy's law. Pretty funny.
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Funniest line (Score:1)
I think that happened to me at a wild party once.
I guess I can understand.... (Score:1)
Re:Dates (Score:1)
Don't believe everything you read, especially when it arrives on a humor mailinglist.
Re:Football Players (Score:1)
Coincidence?
Re:Football Players (Score:2)
No, it was a joke, that's why the Simpsons is so funny.
Speaking as a football player of 10 years (6th-16th grade) the sport places a tremendous amount of stress on the human body. It takes a good two weeks (know what 2-a-days are?) of constant pounding to get into "shape" where your body adjusts to the constant pain it is in.
That being said, I loved playing Football, a controlled brawl with armor and weapons (the armor). The feeling of a dead-on peelback block (they are running after the ball carrier and you come from the other direction, outside their focused field of vision, and "de-cleat" them i.e thier cleats are the LAST thing to land back on the ground) must be felt to be appreciated.
Remember this discussion and its implications the next time you hear people discussing professional athlete salaries (most professional sports have high long term physical costs). They are making a gamble that takes years of dedication and a grasp at the "Good Life", those that make it and excel are much deserving of (most) of the praise they recieve (there are MANY exceptions to this). The recently departed Walter Payton is a grand example, for all reasons (he was 45)
light burn twice bright, burn half long.
Urban Legend is what that is.... (Score:1)
I am a Volunteer FireFighter. There is NO way any human can withstand that temp for 30 seconds with no damage.
Heat stroke.. severe burns. no eyes... remember eyes are filled with fluid that boils...
How would you like your eyes boiled out of their sockets?
Re:This reminds me... (Score:1)
I didn't want to get into too much detail, but I guess the distinction here is between unconscious and non-breathing. If the diver is still breathing, then I agree controlling the ascent is by far the best choice. However, if you have a non-breathing diver there is very little risk of rupturing their lungs on a rapid ascent (unless there is a physical obstruction of their airway), and this is what this doctor was advocating. The idea is to get the person to the surface as fast as you can, so that someone at the surface can begin rescue breathing as soon as possible. The longer you wait before you begin AR and CPR, the less chance you will have of reviving them, and even if you do revive them, the chance of brain damage increases very quickly.
I really should have used the term non-breathing in my post intstead of unconscious.
Anyway, it is good to see that there is at least one other diver around here. And I'm glad to see that you have an interest that goes beyond basic sport diving...
- Cees
Re:Dates (Score:1)
Re:Dates (Score:1)
Re:CANCEL that please!! (Score:1)