"Iron Chef": The Movie? 70
imac.usr writes "Well, Coming Attractions never lies. Coming soon to a theater near you. Be sure to follow their link to the Lego Chef as well on iFilm." Words escape me.
Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
Re:Cameo Appearance? (Score:1)
BORK BORK BORK!
Nothing new here (Score:4)
Yes, Hemos, they typically do.
Re:Catching Iron Chef on Food Network (Score:1)
I would have to say the one that amazed me most was the asparagus battle.
Take more lobster than you can shake a stick at, crush them (shells and all), lay them in the bottom of a pan, lay down a linen towel, lay 5 pieces of asparagus on that, fold the towel over, and fill the rest of the pan with crushed lobster.
bake.
Take it out of the oven, and throw away the lobster!!!
All that just to flavor the asparagus with lobster. Now *that* is insane.
God I love this show. :)
1st Law Of Networking: Loose ends are bad, termination is good.
Re:Crouching Mutton, Hidden Asparagus (Score:2)
I can dream....
Re:Hmm .. Japanese cooking movie ... (Score:1)
There is hope.
Re:4th post (Score:1)
Zontar The Mindless,
This sounds very dangerous. (Score:1)
Hard speed limits are not good since there are many situations in which you have to move faster to be safe.
Re:Crouching Mutton, Hidden Asparagus (Score:2)
-m
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
Maybe they should put them up against Waffle House Cooks. I bet they couldn't top hash browns that are 'scattered, smothered and covered."
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
...but I like it. Strange.
This is truly amazing (Score:1)
Really, there was a True Lies 2? Never even heard of it.
OK, now back to Becker (The Lost Episode).
Re:Crouching Mutton, Hidden Asparagus (Score:2)
We open with an ominous shot of the darkened kitchen stadium. The camera slowly crawls its way along the kitchen counters. James Earl Jones provides the narration:
For years Kitchen Stadium has been a bastion of Japanese culinary arts. Here tradition has been married to innovation as they struggle to guide an age old custom into the twenty first century. This is a land of honor and stoic struggle.
And today we loudmouth Americans are going to open a can of whupass on those foreign bastards.
Now we cut away to a high speed Mtv style montage of New York City intermixed with bartenders doing silly tricks with botttles and Emeril going 'Bam'. After a suitably driving techno beat builds up to fever pitch, we close in on that guy from the boxing matchs yelling "Let's get ready to RRRRRUUUUMMMBBBLLLLEEE".
Next shot, interior of kitchen stadium. The stands are packed with screaming american fans. Some imported dutcg soccer hooligans are hitting on the clueless Japanese actress in the judging booth. They start to do the wave. The normally reserved Iron Chefs are visibly disturbed by the noise and commotion. Except for the curiously stoic Iron Chef Hong Kong. Wait, Iron Chef Hong Kong? Who could that be? Why its Jet Li. And Jet doesn't like loud, disrespectful fans in kitchen stadium. He proceeds to make his displeasure known, in ways that only Mr. Li can.
He plucks a live squid from the seafood tank. A few wild whirls of wicked whipping tentacles and several fans are going to be pissing black ink for the next few weeks. Emiril Lagasse leaps from the stands to come to the defense of a soon to be defenestrated David Rosengarten only to find himself on the recieving end of the razor sharp edge of a cluster of Japanese War Seaweed. Emeril will Bam! no more.
Sneaking behind Jet is the treacherous she-cook from Hades: Martha Stewart. It seems that she's got the drop on him. Little does she know that that was no clueless ingenue in the judging panel. It was HK movie star and protecter of Asian Cooking Shows the world over Michelle Yeoh. Before the Mistress of Affordable KMart Housewares knows what has happened, Yeoh rains down a storm of Wustoff-Trident death on the housemaking maven. The finely tempered German knives pierce Martha's lungs, killing her instantly.
A hush settles over the survivorsa of the crowd. Only Bobby Flay is unharmed on the Western side of the conflict. Iron Chef Japan Masaharu Morimoto stands before him, his hand on the sword at his side. (Who knew Wustoff-Trident made katanas, too). A thin bead of sweat makes its way down Flay's quivering face. Morimoto adresses the once cocky now urine soaked cook. He says: A true chef does not disrespect his stove by standing on it. Now the blade flies from its sheath. Now Flay dies.
Fade to Black.
Re:...hollywood is butchering another Japanese leg (Score:1)
Re:Hmm .. Japanese cooking movie ... (Score:1)
LOL (Score:2)
"I'm not a bitch, I just play one on
Crouching Mutton, Hidden Asparagus (Score:5)
I can see Chen Kenichi flying through mid air attacking Morimoto holding his blowtorch...
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:3)
Remember the episode where Kaga boycotted because the ICs had lost three in a row?
Re:Is there any way to see Iron Chef if you don't. (Score:1)
I went over to a friends house last weekend to watch Iron Chef because he assured me he had Food Network. He ends up scanning through all 500 channels of his digital cable to finally say, "Oops, thought we had it."
We resigned ourselves to watching "The Matrix" on HBO.
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
Of course, it was totally dramatic since near the end, the announcer was like, "We have a report that Chairman Kaga is somewhere hiding in the studio!" Then the cameraman showed Kaga hiding behind a pillar, peeking at the competitors, holding a glass of wine.
When they announced that the IC won, he took a careful, grateful sip of his wine, almost overjoyed that the IC had won. Great acting... lol
Catching Iron Chef on Food Network (Score:3)
Today's Theme Ingredient... (Score:3)
Beowulf Clusters!
You beat me to it! (Score:1)
Any chance of a mirror? (Score:1)
Re:Crouching Mutton, Hidden Asparagus (Score:1)
Deosyne
Re:...hollywood is butchering another Japanese leg (Score:1)
...hollywood is butchering another Japanese legend (Score:5)
I can already see visions of bastardized american versions of the IC's:
Iron Chef Hamburger
Iron Chef BBQ
Iron Chef Vegitarian
And the mysterious 4th Iron Chef...
Iron Chef Leftovers
So who would you cast to play the Iron Chefs, if you couldn't get the real thing?
The Japanese Lego Set (Score:2)
Re:"Yo-mi-guy-ru-eye-yon-sheff!!!!" (Score:1)
S'cuse me while I go hurl....
Shayne
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
Re:...hollywood is butchering another Japanese leg (Score:1)
Re:Is there any way to see Iron Chef if you don't. (Score:1)
Re:God of Cookery (Score:1)
Re:"Yo-mi-guy-ru-eye-yon-sheff!!!!" (Score:3)
http://www.wpi.edu/~riffraff/irongame.html [wpi.edu]
http://www.ironchef.com/irongame.shtml [ironchef.com]
God does not play dice with the universe. Albert Einstein
Re:The Chinese Feast (Score:1)
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The Chinese Feast (Score:2)
I don't know about God of Cookery, but if it was definitely worth the title of "Iron Movie".
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Halt cuisine! (Score:1)
Then the "cease and desist" letters from the Iron Chef lawyers to the fansites came, and I have not watched it since. I really should tune it in so I can find out who the sponsors are and let them know I'm boycotting them as well, but I just don't want to waste my precious time.
As far as I'm concerned, "Iron Chef" committed seppuku with those C&D lawyer-letters. They became popular thru the concentrated efforts of a few individual fans in the states, and then Fuji TV stabbed their own fan-promoters in the back.
Fuck 'em. I've got no time for jerks like these.
Re:God of Cookery (Score:1)
This isn't entirely accurate. God of Cookery is a parody of an earlier movie, God of Gambling. In fact, it's a parody of a whole bunch of movies (most of which I haven't seen). The cooking styles are parodies of classical martial arts moves. The translation was pretty clever at times. They managed to adapt some puns in Chinese to puns in English.
Iron Chef is based on the cooking show in God of Cookery, so this new movie would be a spinoff of a spinoff of a spinoff.
Re:Hmm .. Japanese cooking movie ... (Score:1)
Lego Chef is much better... (Score:1)
Not to say it won't be a funny movie, but hey: given the choice between legos now and a movie later, what would you chose?
Re:"Yo-mi-guy-ru-eye-yon-sheff!!!!" (Score:2)
I'll drink to that! We had a NYE party at a friend's house and he had the IC marathon on.
I'd seen this show a couple of times and didn't really get it. Made a lot more sense watching it totally blitzed.
Re:Catching Iron Chef on Food Network (Score:2)
seaweed and giant eels, yum!
I liked the one with the 5000-yen a pound beef.
that 'fortune teller' woman they have on the panel sometimes is a riot. "this meat is very tough"
Re:...hollywood is butchering another Japanese leg (Score:1)
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Is there any way to see Iron Chef if you don't.. (Score:1)
Re:...hollywood is butchering another Japanese leg (Score:1)
Oh yeah, and the premise of the threatened Columbia movie is as follows: "Can a short-order cook rise from the grills of obscurity to defeat the legendary Iron Chef? He'll soon find out amidst a battlefield of heated stove-top burners."
Sounds about as appetizing as a Natto sundae...
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http://www.msgeek.org/ -- Because you can't keep a geek grrl down!
Starring Beeker and the Sweedish Chef (Score:5)
Hey they don't like Opera... (Score:1)
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Gues the movies gonna suck then...
Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:4)
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
The IC's do have a very good record, and they probably do have an advantage - after all they're recognizeable and their food is fairly famous in Japan - finding totally impartial judges would be difficult. But the show really isn't about who wins or loses - it's about the food. Oh, the food.
Except for the cod soft roe ice cream. That was disgusting. Got Milt?
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Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:2)
So is... (Score:1)
Hmm .. Japanese cooking movie ... (Score:1)
All I can say is Tampopo
I bet no Iron Chef movie can match those sex scenes :-)
Re:"Yo-mi-guy-ru-eye-yon-sheff!!!!" (Score:1)
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
In a cooking competition that does not limit the competitor to any specific genre/style of cuisine, the ethnicity of the judges probably has less implications.
I mean... deep-fried sashimi served with Peking duck and truffles, covered with white wine sauce, or some weird stuff like that -- who in the world is truly qualified for that type of dish?
Still... it would be nice to see a non-Asian on the panel of judges to give the whole competition a bit more international credibility...
Moltar says... (Score:1)
I'll see this movie just to find out what ingredient they come up with. I just hope they have actual chefs in it. Hand doubles would really screw this up pretty bad.
Anyhoo, I hope the screenwriter manages to do a little better than his proud Shasta McNasty heritage suggests.
Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
Um.. cause it's a Japanese show, maybe?
Mmmmm.....the texture is smooth (Score:1)
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Re:Iron chef almost always wins. (Score:1)
"Yo-mi-guy-ru-eye-yon-sheff!!!!" (Score:2)
If you aren't into Iron Chef yet, you simply must check it out. There's a great Iron Chef site at www.ironchef.com [ironchef.com]. See their great FAQ [ironchef.com] if you're new to it.
For a real treat, watch Iron Chef while drunk.
God of Cookery (Score:1)
comedy? (Score:1)
obligatory (Score:1)
Natalie Portman.
Sorry. If it hadn't already been said in 100 comments, it had to be said now.
Re:...hollywood is butchering another Japanese leg (Score:1)
They knocked at an "average person's door" and used the contents of his/her fridge as the theme ingredient.
Isn't that "Iron chef Leftovers"?
Cameo Appearance? (Score:1)
The simplest act of surrealism is to walk out into the street, gun in hand, and shoot at random
Re:...hollywood is butchering another Japanese leg (Score:1)
A year or so ago, when the Iron Chef show went to New York so Bobby Flay could prove once and for all what an utter dick he is, they made a few detours at Food Network's behest.
One of them sent one of the the ICs off with Gordon Elliot (not to be confused with Gordon Bennett, who IMO would make a better houseguest) to film an episode of the FN show where FN knocks on an unsuspecting victim's front door and insists on cooking dinner with whatever is in the house.
Of course, they don't go to the Bronx. They go to some gated community in the 'burbs where the steel-clad fridge is loaded with goodies. But the Iron Chef did do the deed on their leftovers. Looked pretty good, too.
--Blair
Re:Catching Iron Chef on Food Network (Score:1)
I was transfixed by the one with the $200-a-pound bean sprouts
--Blair
"This is absolutely true." - Dave Barry
iron chef 4-ever [blather from a fan] (Score:1)
this show rules! i've seen, like, one episode recently, and it remains emblazoned in memory ...
THIRTY-YEAR-OLD GIANT LOBSTER! big as dogs, i tell you. it was Iron Chef Italian vs. some upstart chef. actually, the ICI's opponent had some credibility -- he was in residence at the restaurant that *invented* sweet & sour pork with pineapple chunks (i dunno if they patented it ;) ). anyway, ICI started in on some bizarre lobster-butt-wrapped-with-bacon dish, and all the contender could come up with was ... sweet and sour *lobster* with pineapple chunks!
... needless to say, ICI's honor emerged unscathed.
i noticed kind of a "bob ross" effect while watching this momentous cookery unfold -- i was on the edge of my seat waiting for ICI to screw up his outlandish dish ("he can't possibly put more lobster-butt in that ... deep-frying? is he mad?!"). [bob ross, of course, being the famous, now-deceased 'happy little tree' pbs painting-show guy].
... anyway, IRON CHEF RULES!
Re:obligatory (Score:1)
God of Cookery (Score:5)
Re:Lego Chef is much better... (Score:1)