College Students Lack Literacy

Frr writes to tell us that CNN has a rather disturbing confirmation of what many of us have already seen in practice. In a recent literacy study it was found that "more than half of students at four-year colleges -- and at least 75 percent at two-year colleges -- lack the literacy to handle complex, real-life tasks such as understanding credit card offers." The literacy study took a look at three different type of literacy: analyzing news stories and other prose, understanding documents, and having basic math skills needed for checkbooks or restaurant tips.

Complex?

[DigitalWar]

Credit card offers are considered a complex task? What kind of world is this turning into?

This is vary ture

[Anonymous Coward]

My college studys lacked lottery traning, and so farr, I havent one teh lottery yet.

Easy Solution

[matr0x_x]

Formal contracts & documents should be written in Internet slang. "If you fail to pay your credit card debt we will take your car lol"

Damn

[Eightyford]

I should have went to a US college. I probably could have graduated there.

Re:Easy Solution

[Asmor]

1337 Collection Agency: Debtors pwned

Re:Easy Solution

[Jace of Fuse!]

OMG! U forgot 2 use teh word pwn!

I'm not surprised...

[Anonymous Coward]

In one of the classes I teach, I had to explain to a student what the word "abundant" meant. Even her Mexican lab partner was rolling her eyes.

Here's another gem:

"The geology of Mesa, Arizona is significant because my family has lived there for several generations"

Heh! What about the Egyptians?

[Aphrika]

I'm reading this and thinking about the earlier story about humans being hardwired for geometry [slashdot.org].

Maybe the Egyptians were onto something with hieroglyphics - we should have anything that looks remotely complex traslated into a series of small pictures and icons, or maybe even comics. Imagine that; a loan agreement graphic novel.

And as I type that, I'm looking at the giant icons Slashdot uses for its stories and thinking "hmmm... stick one of those at the top of each printed newspaper story and everyone'll figure out what it's about". For chequebooks and tips, well if you can't do that you either fail sociably or get stung badly. Maths, the choice is yours... probably.

Re:Damn

[Anonymous Coward]

"I should have went to a US college. I probably could have graduated there."

Could of. 'I probably could of graduated there.'

</anti-grammar-nazi>

Re:The bad news is....

[TallMatthew]

The school system that my tax dollars help pay for should not cater to lazy students.

Yes, but stupid Americans make fantastic Republicans.

"He wave flag, he say Jesus, me like Bush. Where my beer? Where my pikup truk?"

Re:My response

[!equal]

You read the article?

Re:Helicopter parents...

[ConceptJunkie]

"Baby on board" sticker prominently displayed (wtf are they *for*, anyway?)

I don't know about most people, but I intentionally ram cars that don't have babies in them.

Re:This is vary ture

[macadamia_harold]

My college studys lacked lottery traning, and so farr, I havent one teh lottery yet.

dood, how aer you going to handel teh retiremant if you doesn't win teh lottary?

Re: What colleges?

[Black Parrot]

> Strangely the study doesn't mention what schools were part of this survey. Does anyone know?

Harverd, Printstun, Cornale, and other I've e-leeg colejes.

Grade Inflation...

[Aqua OS X]

Personally, I think a lot of this stems from grade inflation and its many causes. Instructor compassion, bureaucratic initiatives that try and get everyone to "pass," easy degree programs that idiots flock to, etc.

I swear, for many instructors the "A" is the new "C." Moreover, the "C" is the new "D-;" however, it's a D- which allows you to attain a prerequisite and move on to the next class.

Additionally, the bachelor's degree is the new high school degree, and the master's degree is the new bachelor's degree, with the exception of the MBA. The MBA is the new high school degree with sprinkles on top.

I also blame may of our educational systems problems on the ellipsis... fuck the ellipsis.

Re:Easy Solution

[ettlz]

Ever tried reading a Microsoft EULA? My God, it's heavy going. I normally think, "sod it, I don't use this nonsense anyway", but as per Internet slang, here's an attempt at translating the one for OEM XP.

The introduction:

IMPORTANT-READ CAREFULLY: This End-User License Agreement ("EULA") is a legal agreement between you (either an individual or a single legal entity) and the manufacturer ("Manufacturer") of the computer system...

and so-forth, meaning:

We pwnd j00! You think you bought this $H1+? Shut up & do as we say suxxor!11! Dont fuk with us lol

Leading on to:

1. GRANT OF LICENSE. Manufacturer grants you the following rights, provided you comply with all of the terms and conditions of this EULA:
* Installation and Use. Except as otherwise expressly provided in this EULA, you may install, use...

or, rather:

Right, one copy, right, on this computer. No more than 5 at a time in here. Make sure you got a code 2 activate this or well cum+get u!!!! Oh yeh dont tamperz wit the drm sh1t, s0ny gets p1553d and then we all suffer lol!

Next:

2. DESCRIPTION OF OTHER RIGHTS AND LIMITATIONS.
* NetMeeting/Remote Assistance Features. The SOFTWARE contains Remote Assistance, and NetMeeting technologies that enable the Product or applications installed on the COMPUTER...

[An] AOL [user] says:

1. Share nice, d00dz! 2. We get info on you and ur system, but we dont tell noone. 3. Same again lol! 4. No blingual (sic) stuff! 5. Windows media bitz: l00k but dont tuch, fuxxor! 6. Dont split r $h1t. 7. do wot we say or well terminate ur rights!

You can tell why I'm not being very throrough here, but I think it gets the gist across.

3. UPGRADES. If the SOFTWARE is labeled as an upgrade, you must be properly licensed to use a product identified by MS or Microsoft Corporation...

or:

if we said its an upgrade we mean UP-grade. Dont try to install it on nothing, you must have sumthing TO UPgrade.

Now...

4. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS. All title and intellectual property rights in and to the SOFTWARE (including but not limited to any images, photographs, animations, video, audio, music, text...

Something got lost in the translation of this one, but it ended with

are belong to us.

Ahem!

lol

That's more like it.

5. PRODUCT SUPPORT. SOFTWARE support for the SOFTWARE is not provided by MS, Microsoft Corporation, or their affiliates or subsidiaries. For product support...

meaning

if it fuxxors up, nothing 2 do with us guvnor!

I could go on here, but I'm thoroughly bored. The rest is export restrictions ("dont give this 2 iranians or cubanz lollll") and so-forth. I think this could work out: Google language filter "EULA to AOLspeak", perhaps?

Evercrackheads.

[Grendel Drago]

And, on the flip side, how was Graves at understanding technology?

Ah, so that's how we're spelling "playing Everquest" today.

Re:How?

[Anonymous Writer]

I don't understand. How can you use a ruler improperly?

Just in case anyone doesn't know, here are instructions [sex-project.com] on how to use one properly.

Re:Helicopter parents...

[bbtom]

I saw a "Mother-to-be On Board" sign at a supermarket recently.

I'm thinking about making an "Abortion-to-be Inside" sticker in the style of an Intel Inside sticker. I could then make that "ding-du-de-du-ding" sound like on the Pentium adverts than flash my dick.

(I kid, angry pro-lifer, because I care...)

Re:2 year schools

[RingDev]

Sorry, I miss-read that. I thought it was only saying 75% of 2 year schools, I missed the 50% of 4 years. My bust.

-Rick

benefits

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, but those are the girls you look for to date. We *need* those kind of people out there.

Re:College Deters Reading

[Malor]

Wow, two semesters for four games? Sure, Civilization has always been great, but geeze. They could just skip 2 and 3 completely... 1 and 4 would be enough for the full Civ experience. You could do those in one semester, and study the Total War series in the second.

I haven't heard of War and Peace, though. Is that from EA? And is the peace part any good? That sounds lame.