How Microsoft Can Make Zune a Success

jcatcw writes "Zune had potential, but 5 months in it barely gets passing grades. According to the article, there are five things Microsoft must change: 1) The built-in Wi-Fi, aka 'the social,' was a bad idea. 2) Tell newbies what it can do. 3) Create a low-end, flash-based player. 4) Push subscriptions. 5) Make it sexy. A Microsoft representative said, about the wireless concept: 'We felt we were addressing the social aspect of music, and the research we've done has shown that people understand the concept that wireless enables sharing ... but the tagline, while provocative, hasn't meant a lot to consumers.'"

Here's an idea

[$RANDOMLUSER]

Make them out of gold and give them away.

Missing Steps

[Cornflake917]

6) ???
7) Profit

A success?

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, if you go read the Dvorak article below this one, a device's success is inversely proportional to that douchebag's opinion of the device and it's future.

So get him to hate it and you'll be all set.

Zune?

[BandwidthHog]

They still make those?

Reversed Stories?

[Constantine XVI]

I just saw this story: "How Microsoft can make the Zune a Success"
And right below it: "Dvorak to Apple: Stop the iPhone"
Logically, you would need to s/Microsoft/Apple, s/Zune/iPhone, s/Apple/Microsoft, s/iPhone/Zune to have proper Slashdot-conforming headlines

SWAG

[nearlygod]

Give it away for free? That may increase their market penetration... maybe. Perhaps pre-load it with porn? nearlygod

Re:How Microsoft can made Zune a non-success:

[masdog]

It worked for Microsoft once...so how much could it hurt to try that again?

Re:Here's an idea

[eclectro]

They might become popular with the kids if they really squirted.

Re:Why ...

[Red Flayer]

I'd love to know what is can do. Tell me more?!

It depends on what your definition of 'is' is.
--WJC

Missing part of post

[Anonymous Coward]

"I have a Zune and a 4G color iPod. My iPod sits in the dock on the clock radio we have for it. The Zune is what I take everywhere with me."

And if I ever touch the iPod again, my dad said he'd throw another chair at me.

Re:Reversed Stories?

[paladin225]

But then you'd have this:
"How Microsoft can make the Zune a Success"
"Dvorak to Microsoft: Stop the Zune"

What would Slashdot think of that?

Tell newbies what IS can do

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

"Tell newbies what IS can do"

What "is" can do?!?

I'm still trying to figure out what the MEANING of "is" is! [slate.com]

Re:Do like they do with everything else...

[$RANDOMLUSER]

I can't really think of many things that they actually created from scratch.
I dare you to name five.

1. Clippy [wikipedia.org]
2. Windows ME [wikipedia.org]
3. The BSOD [wikipedia.org]
4. Microsoft Bob [wikipedia.org]
5. The Three-Finger Salute [wikipedia.org]


Is there a prize?

Re:Wifi

[Anonymous Coward]

Wifi works under lunix now?!

Easy as ...

[Anonymous Coward]

I can't really think of many things that they actually created from scratch. I dare you to name five.

Surely you jest. Here are five examples of innovation in the purest forms imaginable:

1. Strategy [wikipedia.org]
2. User-friendliness [wikipedia.org]
3. Simplicity [wikipedia.org]
4. The Future [theregister.co.uk]
5. Entertainment [wikipedia.org]

Not a success?

[Lord51N15T3R]

Not a success? You are forgetting that Microsoft has 100% of the market in turd-brown mp3 players!

I got to go take a Zune.

I will take that dare

[walterbyrd]

Five things msft invented:

1) Lying to the US-DoJ with video-taped testomony - and getting away with it.

2) Astroturf campaign which included letters from dead people - and getting away with it.

3) Hiring dying micro-cap companies to file bogus lawsuits, and make outragous claims against the competition - and getting away with it.

4) Creating fake think-tanks that insist the msft is always right, and any action against msft would be anti-capitialist - and getting away with it.

5) Secretly funded, rigged, benchmark and TCO "studies" - and getting away with it.

Re:Do like they do with everything else...

[binarybum]

did not know that. always thought it was a cheap imitation of dog crap.

5) Make it sexy

[flacco]

microsoft couldn't make a sexy product if they stuck a fuckable vagina on it.

Hire Steve Jobs?

[exp(pi*sqrt(163))]

Comment intentionally left blank.

Re:A success?

[virgil_disgr4ce]

Is there already a "Dvorak Law?" Because I think you've just invented it. Here it comes, Wikipedia...