Finally, a Shark With a Laser Attached To Its Head

Freshly Exhumed writes in with a Wired story about a nerd/super-villian dream come true. "Marine biologist-cum-TV personality Luke Tipple attached a 50-milliwatt green laser to a lemon shark off the coast of the Bahamas in late April. The escapade was sponsored by Wicked Lasers, a consumer-focused laser manufacturer based in Hong Kong that produces some of the most brilliant — and potentially dangerous — handheld lasers in the world. 'This was definitely a world first,' Tipple told Wired. 'Initially, I told them no. I thought it was a frivolous stunt. But then I considered that it would give us an opportunity to test our clips and attachments, and whatever is attached to that clip, I really don't care. It was a low-powered laser that couldn't be dangerous to anyone, and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal.'"

Yes!

[snowsmann]

No oblig anything... a freaking shark with a freaking laser on it's head...

Re:

[snowsmann]

Thanks AC Grammar Nazi!

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

You're welcome. :)

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

This is 3rd grade stuff, man.

Grammar nazis get their panties in a bind if you use the present perfect verb tense when the present perfect progressive would have been more appropriate. Knowing the difference between 'it's' and 'its' is more the equivalent of saying '2+2=5' and then calling the person who corrected you a 'math nazi'.

is more the equivalent

[ZombieBraintrust]

"is more the equivalent " not sure what is wrong here but something sounds off

Re:

[tehcyder]

It was an elided version of "is more like the equivalent of..." and perfectly comprehsisible.

Re:

[Gilmoure]

"Romanes eunt domus"?
People called Romanes, they go, the house?

Re:

[TheReaperD]

Not in theoretical physics. Just about everything we hold as fact goes out the window.

Re:

[Feefers]

2+2 = 11 ....In base 3 of course. Language must evolve over time, ye olde eventually changed and in time I look forward to the rules of grammar becoming more relaxed. As for the artickle, it's pretty clever sharks don't have many attachment points and making a laser that can not only be fitted to a shark but be waterproof and powered to not bother the creature to the extent its trainer says stop is pretty impressive.

Re:

[snowsmann]

That is because "hi" is not a word (in this context)... It is certainly an exception to the rule "put a damn apostrophe on a word when you want to make it all possessive like". If it were not an exception then "his car", "snowsmanns car", and "its car" would all be correct. But "his" is another word entirely, "its" is a form of the word "it".

Re:

[mhajicek]

Actually, (int(2.5))+(int(2.5))=4.

Re:

[lister king of smeg]

or under a different base like base 4 where it equals 10

Re:

[mug funky]

yes! troll math!

spoiler - it still equals 4. those ints aren't optional.

Re:

[psiclops]

if you found that hard to read, your probably the won in need of communications lessons.

Re:

[thoughtlover]

if you found that hard to read, your probably the won in need of communications lessons.

And you're the one in need of spelling and grammar lessons.

Re:

[psiclops]

nope but i feel for you mr whooshie

Re:

[supersloshy]

by Anonymous Coward

You're still here! Oh my goodness, I was so worried! I thought you had gone for good! :'D

Re:

[camperdave]

No, "its head". Also http://xkcd.com/585/ [xkcd.com]

No, "its fin" [wired.com].

Re:

[Quiet_Desperation]

I'm so going to deviantart to commission a plushie version with working laser.

Re:

[tinkerton]

Sharks are cool and they know it.

Re:

[Capt.DrumkenBum]

Dr. Evil: "You'll notice that the sharks have laser beams attached to their heads, I figure every creature deserves a hot meal"

Re:

[antdude]

Why do you have an apostrophe for "it is"? :P

Re:

[93 Escort Wagon]

No oblig anything... a freaking shark with a freaking laser on it's head...

Okay, fine but - does it have Hitler’s brain?

Or...

[Antony-Kyre]

a laser with a shark attached.

So...Bright..

[Anonymous Coward]

50 mW is enough laser power to blind you quite quickly...

Re:So...Bright..

[cheaphomemadeacid]

hah, mod -1 boring, this baby can burn your eyes out with a reflection in a raindrop http://www.wickedlasers.com/lasers/Spyder_III_Pro_Arctic_Series-96-37.html [wickedlasers.com] 1W laser :D

Re:

[mhajicek]

I got my goggles on, it's so bright.

Re:

[greg1104]

Won't save you, the goggles do nothing.

Re:

[mhajicek]

They'd help with accidental reflections. Not the full beam in the face though of course.

Re:

[Khyber]

You can get laser goggles that will protect you from most of the exposure of higher-powered lasers. It is simply a combination of a highly-reflective surface plus a bandgap filter. You'd get a 530-580nm filter to work with green lasers and be safe.

Re:

[Holi]

Whooooosh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juFZh92MUOY [youtube.com]

Re:

[mhajicek]

Curses! Memed again!

Re:

[mhajicek]

BTW, was just quoting the Suburbs:

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright (so bright)

I see in color

Not black and white

I see in color

Not black and white

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright (so bright)

I took these little pills

And I'm starting to come on now

I took these little pills

And I'm starting to get on now

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright

I got my goggles on

And it's so bright (so bright)

I feel the water

Swirling around my feet

I fe

Re:

[Chris Burke]

The laser's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Re:

[dnahelicase]

50 mW is enough laser power to blind you quite quickly...

Yeah - and the shark holding it generally doesn't mind if the animals he's swimming toward suddenly go blind.

mr bond I expect you to be chum

[Joe_Dragon]

mr bond I expect you to be chum

Sceptic

[Etz Haim]

Something tells me this shark thing is a lemon...

Re:

[Farmer Tim]

A red herring, more likely.

Re:

[Dexy]

Something tells me you're not putting your heart and sole into this.

Re:

[tangelogee]

Well, isn't that unforTUNAte?

Stupid

[Dan East]

That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. There's no way a shark could aim a laser mounted like that. It needs it on its head so the shark can properly sight down the beam and destroy the commanded target.

Re:Stupid

[Farmer Tim]

Focusing on consumers is also a dumb idea for a laser company. You get more repeat customers when they're not on fire.

The next frontier

[GameboyRMH]

To place one on an ill-tempered mutant sea bass.

Re:

[GameboyRMH]

Who modded this troll? A Jewfish is a real thing:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewfish [wikipedia.org]

Re:

[Coren22]

Most likely this specific grouper:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epinephelus_itajara [wikipedia.org]

World Domination

[rwise2112]

I like this quote: "...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal."

.... Like world domination

Re:

[Twinbee]

To me yes, their message was meant to be read "between the lines". I don't think there was any need for you to point that out.

Re:

[amicusNYCL]

I like this quote:

But even serious hardcore shark experts like Van Sommeran can relish in the bold absurdity of a laser-equipped shark: “Everything tilts toward this being a disadvantage for the shark. Its laser might blind a pilot and piss off the FAA. Or North Korea might counter-attack it,” he said.

Re:

[The Grim Reefer]

I like this quote: "...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal." .... Like world domination

I was wondering the same thing, as well as who would have the need for a" useful application" like this. Besides some bald guy with a white Persian cat.

Jeez Luieez

[Tablizer]

It's MAY 1st, not April 1st. (May 2nd actually)

Our undoing...

[moondo]

And so it begins...

Slashdotted...

[muyla]

... or maybe the shark just fired on a couple underwater fibers

Re:

[MRe_nl]

Alternatively http://www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/sharks-mounted-with-laser-beams [buzzfeed.com]

Fin

[Anonymous Coward]

The laser was attached to the dorsal fin, not the head. Seriously, how can you get this wrong?

"Not dangerous to anyone"?

[Man On Pink Corner]

A 50-milliwatt green laser would be a class-IIIb device, right?

Re:

[mpoulton]

A 50-milliwatt green laser would be a class-IIIb device, right?

Yeah, and it's well into the IIIb territory (which covers such a broad power range it's hardly a helpful classification). 50mW is sufficient to cause instant permanent retinal burns, or permanent blindness due to retinal bleeding. Even an extremely brief exposure to one eye could cause permanent damage, and will certainly cause temporary blindness and disorientation. I have never gotten a beam quite that powerful in my eye, but I have gotten a brief (few millisecond) flash from a 25mW DPSS laser and it w

Re:"Not dangerous to anyone"?

[MarkGriz]

Add a warning:

Caution: Use remaining eye to avoid being eaten by shark.

Re:

[byrdfl3w]

Perhaps dangerous to the optics in other fish it encounters..
Blind cod?
Sightless snapper?
Images of one-eyed marine life bumping together awkwardly.

Just 5mw is dangerous

[Maximum Prophet]

http://www.innovations-report.com/html/reports/medicine_health/report-44173.html [innovations-report.com]

Dennis Robertson, M.D., Mayo Clinic ophthalmologist, conducted investigations with a green laser pointer directed to the retina of a patient’s eye; the eye was scheduled for removal because of a malignancy. The green laser damaged the pigment layer of the retina ...

This was a "street legal" 5mw laser pointer. A misplaced 50mw beam will cause damage to your eyes, probably in the form of microspots, because laser light is will focused by your eye's lens. Unfortunately the brain will fill in microspots in the retina until there are too many, or you get too old, then you have vision problems.

The moral: Beware friggin sharks carrying friggin lasers.

Re:Just 5mw is dangerous

[Anonymous Coward]

From your link:

Mayo Clinic ophthalmologists have found commercially available Class 3A green laser pointers can cause visible harm to the eye’s retina with exposures as short as 60 seconds

If a shark is staring directly at you for 60 seconds, chances are that some minor eye damage is not really your primary concern.

Re:

[daid303]

A 50mW laser is not class 3A. 5mW is class 3A

Re:

[slack_justyb]

I can't help but to ask. 5mw may harm you, but that's with the medium being air. Wouldn't that level change when the medium is water? In other words, wouldn't more of the laser light become diffused over a shorter distance as compared to the same laser but in air?

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

True. But the shark is more dangerous when the medium is water, so it evens out.

Re:

[Osgeld]

"This was a "street legal" 5mw laser pointer. A misplaced 50mw beam will cause damage to your eyes"

so it takes 10x as long to hurt yourself with a 5mw?

Re:

[MiG82au]

Due to heat conduction away from the irradiated area, I doubt it's a linear relationship. At some low power you'd find no damage regardless of time, and at high power you'd probably find damage occurs much faster than predicted from the 5 mW test.

"there's actually useful applications"

[circletimessquare]

world's coolest sushi maker?

Been done before

[belthize]

    Not new, our early extraterrestrial forebears bred Stethacanthus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Stethacanthus_BW.jpg [wikipedia.org]
to support both a forward looking radar mount at the front and a laser turret on their back.

One simple request

[WarJolt]

Dr. Evil would be so happy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7bYNAHXxw [youtube.com]

You mean I have frikin' sharks with frikin' laser beams attached to their heads?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pozlp_wnkRk [youtube.com]

Re:

[mrbester]

I'm sure he is busy working on a new project

Fin / Head?

[waterford0069]

Fin / Head? Same difference, right.

meh

[arbitrarymodulus]

Meh, a shark riding an elephant is still better.

This is neat.

[multicoregeneral]

I'll have to remember to stock up on these when I build my secret fortress on Burma.

Scientfic reasons?

[wbr1]

...and there's actually useful applications in having a laser attached to the animal.

Publicity and fundraising perhaps. Anyone know real applications? I would RTFA, but I cannot get a response from the subscribe.wired.com server, I have a hard time believing that is slashdotted though.

Faith in humanity restored!

[Quiet_Desperation]

This is the bestest thing in the world all day today.

Mounting

[WrecklessSandwich]

That laser is mounted on the dorsal fin. What part of "sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads" do these people not understand?

Re:

[Coren22]

The difficulty in a removable mount on that part of the shark.

About fricking time!

[BetaDays]

About fricking time!

Because everyone deserves a warm meal.

[ClosedEyesSeeing]

Because everyone deserves a warm meal.

Now the meme can finally die.

[Arancaytar]

Unless you want a Beowulf cluster of laser sharks.

Re:

[Capt.DrumkenBum]

Of course I want a Beowulf cluster of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Who wouldn't want that?

Re:

[avandesande]

... ridden by Natalie Portman in a pool of hot grits!

Re:

[c0lo]

Unless you want a Beowulf cluster of laser sharks.

What about "the year of $name on the desktop"? Will $name='laser sharks' come earlier than $name='Linux'?

(ducks)

Bright spot in all of this.....

[rts008]

Now there may be dire consequences to shark-jumping TV shows!

Meh, who am I kidding.....

I read it like this

[fragfoo]

Tipple told Wired. 'Initially, I told them no. I thought it was a frivolous stunt. But then they offered more money...'

I Got This...

[Greyfox]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfUM5xHUY4M [youtube.com]

Must be very painful

[Osgeld]

to cum a TV

Head?

[binarybum]

Can someone fill us in on shark anatomy? Does the head really go that far back?

Ultimate Extreme Cat Toy

[guttentag]

Finally, a way to make your cat want to play with sharks. Cat chases the laser, shark chases the cat... It's a lot like rock, paper, scissors. Until someone loses a cat.

Errr

[blackicye]

Is no one thinking of the childr^H^H^H^H^H^H Sharks??

Can you imagine..

[Sigg3.net]

Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of these?!

Re:

[RalphTheWonderLlama]

Bearodactyl!
http://www.theoatmeal.com/comics/ptero [theoatmeal.com]