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Stolen Maple Syrup Found and Returned To Strategic Reserve 255

Posted by samzenpus
from the pancakes-for-everyone dept.
First time accepted submitter bmxeroh writes "Remember the tragic maple syrup heist? Police have seized more than 600 barrels of maple syrup they say are related to the missing syrup. It was transported back to Quebec via a 16 tractor trailer, heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed) convoy Wednesday."
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Stolen Maple Syrup Found and Returned To Strategic Reserve

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  • Sounds like (Score:5, Funny)

    by Big Hairy Ian (1155547) on Friday October 05, 2012 @04:09AM (#41556371)
    Someone came to a sticky end :)
  • by Scarletdown (886459) on Friday October 05, 2012 @04:10AM (#41556375) Journal

    So far, the only significant bit of evidence found at the scene where these barrels were retrieved was the cryptic phrase B. Worth, written in syrup on the floor.

  • THANK GOD (Score:4, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 05, 2012 @04:22AM (#41556423)

    Thank God! This could have turned into a real sticky situation!

  • by tlambert (566799) on Friday October 05, 2012 @04:24AM (#41556437)

    Did they test it for poison, or did they just put it back in the reserve without testing? There was no chain of custody during the time it was missing, after all.

    • Sorry but... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by xded (1046894) on Friday October 05, 2012 @04:53AM (#41556545)
      I'm from Europe and I don't really get why a strategic reserve of maple syrup is needed... Do you plan on living on maple syrup in case of a nuclear holocaust?
      • Re:Sorry but... (Score:5, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 05, 2012 @05:03AM (#41556583)

        I'm from Europe too, but I can Google: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/09/why-does-canada-have-a-strategic-maple-syrup-reserve/261869/

      • Re:Sorry but... (Score:5, Informative)

        by necro81 (917438) on Friday October 05, 2012 @07:13AM (#41557061) Journal

        I'm from Europe and I don't really get why a strategic reserve of maple syrup is needed

        For the same reasons you stockpile any commodity: it makes you less susceptible to price swings in the marketplace. When prices are low, Quebecois producers can have the reserve buy up excess inventory, then later sell it when prices rise, to protect consumers. The U.S. has strategic reserves of oil, corn, and wheat for similar reasons. Like all complex systems, it helps to have some capacitance to buffer transients.

        • producers can have the reserve buy up excess inventory, then later sell it when prices rise, to protect consumers.

          T... what?

          • It's like putting a capacitor in parallel with the circuit. Smooths out bumps in both directions.
      • by Dunbal (464142) *
        Instead of "strategic reserve" read "stockpile so that we can use the economics of scarcity to keep the prices artificially high". Maple syrup is extremely expensive, and not because maple trees have such a good union.
      • Maple Syrup is a major industry for Canada. However it is a fickle industry.

        You can't grow hundred year old maple trees in a greenhouse, they are exposed to normal weather conditions. Also they can only harvest for a short period of time a year. So having the reserve will allow them to keep supply all year long, and cover when there is a bad year. If supply get too low the prices will go too high, and the market will switch to substitutes. American Vermont, Maine, New Hampshire, and New York Maple Syru

      • Because Russia is also a cold northern country with lots of trees. And we cannot allow a maple syrup gap!
      • by Shavano (2541114)
        You have no appreciation for the riots that would spread across Canada if someone suggested putting corn syrup on pancakes. Oh CRAP! I just suggested it. But ONLY IN JEST, PEOPLE! ONLY IN JEST!
        • by sjames (1099)

          You will soon find a line millions of people long forming in front of you. Each will in turn tell you "That's not a very nice thing to say, you know" and then yield to the next in line. It could be a few years before you've fully served your penance.

    • If some nefarious group really wanted to poison people, there are a lot less flamboyant and troublesome ways to get your poison into the food supply. For example, why not just contaminate the supply? If they can break into the reserve and go undetected long enough to siphon off hundreds of gallons of the stuff, that's surely long enough to poison the whole reserve. Much easier.

      The stuff's really valuable, right? That's why they keep a strategic reserve in the first place, after all. So the motive is o
      • by mwvdlee (775178)

        About the only thing missing are the sharks with frickin laser beams.

        I don't see why that couldn't happen; http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/swimming-in-syrup-minimyth.htm [discovery.com]

      • I agree.
        We as a culture needs to work harder to separate fantasy from reality. We are living in a world of potential fear because every bad guy seems to have these devious plot to make our lives miserable.

        We can't let our kids outside without intent supervision (heck laws are getting in place that the parent is in trouble if they let their kids go out and play without supervision) because there could be a Sexual Predator just around the corner ready to snatch your child. Or a teenager who is pushing you

      • Once it's in the reserve, who owns what drop of syrup is no longer pertinent. It's just as believable that someone would do it for the same reasons as that Tylenol was poisoned http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Tylenol_murders [wikipedia.org] (least likely) or to drive up the price, given that there's no price/production floor for producers (good for producers in general as plowing under a large percentage of the corn crop was at one point, and as milk-dumping in 1939 and the late 1970's; by the 1980's, the government

  • by PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) on Friday October 05, 2012 @04:46AM (#41556509)

    Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.

    • by Sulphur (1548251)

      Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.

      Strawberry or the old stalwart bacon and lingonberry haven't been used to jam radar for decades. Nothing beats maple syrup.

    • by MysteriousPreacher (702266) on Friday October 05, 2012 @06:38AM (#41556923) Journal

      Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.

      It is a serious issue that threatens to rend the social fabric of society. Women make breakfast for men. That's as traditional as church on Sunday, Real Marriage, and meth-fuelled sex with male prostitutes - all cornerstones of the Republican Party, and what made America great.

      What do women do when there's no breakfast to make? Right, they get ideas! Can you imagine a world in which men, weakened by a lack of bacon and maple syrup, lose control over women? A world where women are free to use their in-built pregnancy prevention mechanism, not only to protect themselves from impregnation during rape, but also during normal marital sex? Obama can, and with another term that's exactly where he'll bring America. Romney for traditional values. The black guy for feminazis, socialism, and failing to keep open factories that had already been closed under Bush.

      P Ryan.
      (Borrowing my friend's account.)

    • Since when did Canada have a president? Did the Queen die or something?

      • by niado (1650369)
        To clarify for US readers, Canada uses the Westminister System [wikipedia.org] of government. The prime minister is head of the executive branch for Canada in practice, though the Queen is actually head of the executive branch (as well as the judicial and legislative branches??) and theoretically works through her cabinet [wikipedia.org] and viceroy [wikipedia.org] (in practice appointed by...the prime minister??) to actually govern. In practice the Queen doesn't actually perform any governmental functions personally, due to the tenets of responsible gov [wikipedia.org]
    • by eth1 (94901)

      Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.

      At least the eggs should be safe. We've been spending way too much money on the DHS (Department of Henhouse Security) for anyone to touch our eggs! Anyone who's had to stand in line there knows how slow the DPS (Department of Pigsty Security) is, though.

    • by theycallmeB (606963) on Friday October 05, 2012 @01:37PM (#41560721)
      The first debate was supposed to be about domestic concerns. The bacon shortage news originated in Europe, and this maple syrup caper is a product of Canada (also, by the by, a leading exporter of frozen waffles), so you will have to wait until the foreign policy debate to find out where the candidates sit on breakfast table issues.
  • Old school hoser meth,

  • by Dutchmaan (442553) on Friday October 05, 2012 @05:01AM (#41556577) Homepage
    Won't somebody think of the saplings!
  • News for nerds? (Score:2, Interesting)

    I could've sworn I was reading Slashdot... do nerds like maple syrup more than most people?
  • From the article:

    Etienne St-Pierre said his usual suppliers, small producers based in Quebec, sold it to him.

    This made me think: basically, a foodstuff was sold to someone who'll sell it to the public later on. He didn't ask about the source of the foodstuff, didn't check for quality, didn't check for adulteration, didn't check for chemical or biological contaminants - NOR DID HE KNOW SHIT whether anyone has done such tests.

    He could have gotten maple syrup laced with anthrax, and would have sold it forward, and noone would have been the wiser.

    • by Dunbal (464142) *
      Do you test the food you bring home from the supermarket every single week? I mean, they could sell you food laced with anthrax and you would be no wiser.
      • I think if your food was laced with Anthrax you'd know about it, eventually.

      • Do you test the food you bring home from the supermarket every single week? I mean, they could sell you food laced with anthrax and you would be no wiser.

        If there is no guarantee of who the source is, then yes, that's exactly my fucking point!

  • And that is all I have to say about this....
  • Fort Knox had Goldfinger. Who is Quebec's Stickyfinger?

  • *pours maple syrup all over this post* Party time! Let's all have a maple syrup slashdot party, lol.
  • Reminds me of an episode [tv.com] of breaking bad (about a heist to pilfer some precious liquids).

  • Is the 600 barrels a measure of volume, 42 gallons to a barrel? Did it mean 600 drums of unknown capacity, perhaps 55 gallon drums? But it's a Canadian story and wouldn't they use metric? Perhaps the barrels are made of maple wood, charred inside and used for aging the syrup, eh?

    • by slew (2918)

      Is the 600 barrels a measure of volume, 42 gallons to a barrel? Did it mean 600 drums of unknown capacity, perhaps 55 gallon drums? But it's a Canadian story and wouldn't they use metric? Perhaps the barrels are made of maple wood, charred inside and used for aging the syrup, eh?

      A barrel (used in a liquid measurement context) is usually approx 120 liters. However, there is some variation, and each commodity tends to have it's own "barrel" measurement. For example, a barrel of oil is about 160 liters, but a barrel of beer is a bit light of a standard liquid barrel (except in the UK where it's a bit bigger).

      The history of the "barrel" measurement is that it is defined to be 1/2 a hogshead (a really big barrel 4ft tall, 30inches diameter), 1/4 of a pipe, and 1/8 of a liquid tonne.

  • Our military expenditures are a tiny fraction of our Southern neighbor's

    Less likely to carry guns

    Have better healthcare and are therefore more relaxed

    We emphasize coordination and and compassion and getting along at the U.N.

    Our labor rights are more sound, so we're less agitated

    Our commitment to education is high, we see ways to resolve conflict in wise ways rather than brutal vicious ways

    We're polite to a fault, we stop our cars in the street so you can cross, we let you go first in line if we both arrive at the same time, and we express in low tones the thinking behind our disagreements

    BUT DON'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EVER FUCKING MESS WITH OUR MOTHERFUCKING MAPLE SYRUP

    • Or insult our beer [youtube.com]!

    • by Bigby (659157)

      Better healthcare? That seems like a statement of perspective. I would bet that a majority of your neighbors to the south have better healthcare than a majority of Canadians.

      • by H0p313ss (811249)

        Better healthcare? That seems like a statement of perspective. I would bet that a majority of your neighbors to the south have better healthcare than a majority of Canadians.

        Rich Americans have better healthcare than most Canadians. Canadians will not die in poverty to pay a Cancer health bill.

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by Anonymous Coward

        As a Canadian who has lived in the US for 20 years, I can rebutt this pretty well. I have what would be considered one of the best plans in the US, and it pretty much matches the health care I received in Canada when I was growing up. At age 15 I walked myself into an ER for a broken finger, and never had to think about what it might be costing my parents. It was just dealt with.

        My father-in-law (US) and my father (Canada) both hit the hospital at the same time 5 years ago, the former for pancreatic blockag

  • He was informed that if an article appears in Slashdot that doesn't quite fit in the News For Nerds category, that the operation has been green lighted. He is to move at once, while the world is distracted by hot gossip about the Kardashians (local operatives in the mainland as well).

    Nothing to see here, fellow /. readers; move along now.

  • by Pope (17780) on Friday October 05, 2012 @09:56AM (#41558115)

    We simply cannot allow a maple syrup gap!

  • by TheSpoom (715771) <slashdot@ u b e r m00.net> on Friday October 05, 2012 @10:17AM (#41558343) Homepage Journal

    If this isn't the most obvious plot EVER for a Die Hard movie, I don't know what is. ;^)

  • by nimbius (983462) on Friday October 05, 2012 @12:36PM (#41560001) Homepage
    of how 600 barrels of Maple Syrup and some poor convoy with a brand new Garmin learned the difference between Ontario, Canada and Ontario, California.
  • by Yakasha (42321) on Friday October 05, 2012 @02:27PM (#41561365) Homepage
    I simply do not believe in the heist. I do not believe that any culture, race, or other human group can so ably live up to their stereotypes! It MUST be a hoax.

    Whats next? Columbian coke reserves damaged by mice? Chinese slave labor stolen? American military bankrupt?

  • by roc97007 (608802) on Friday October 05, 2012 @03:00PM (#41561767) Journal

    ..."strategic" and "syrup" in the same sentence.

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