Stolen Maple Syrup Found and Returned To Strategic Reserve

First time accepted submitter bmxeroh writes "Remember the tragic maple syrup heist? Police have seized more than 600 barrels of maple syrup they say are related to the missing syrup. It was transported back to Quebec via a 16 tractor trailer, heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed) convoy Wednesday."

Sounds like

[Big Hairy Ian]

Someone came to a sticky end :)

A Lead on the Culprit

[Scarletdown]

So far, the only significant bit of evidence found at the scene where these barrels were retrieved was the cryptic phrase B. Worth, written in syrup on the floor.

Re:A Lead on the Culprit

[Scarletdown]

So someone is trying to frame her? I heard there is a Log Cabin near the scene that may warrant investigating.

THANK GOD

[Anonymous Coward]

Thank God! This could have turned into a real sticky situation!

Where do the Presidential Candidates stand?

[PolygamousRanchKid]

Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.

Re:I just don't understand..

[bfandreas]

Yes, but since everybody expecty syrup just to stick around nobody really thinks that those trucks are actually nicking syrup. Somebody is bound to have the paperwork so no need to be nosy. Diamonds, yes. Syrup? How do you fence stuff like that? It leaves quite a bit of a trail if the barrels leak. Also ants could be a problem.
Diamonds! That's where it's at!

This is clearly an injustice!

[Dutchmaan]

Won't somebody think of the saplings!

Re:A Lead on the Culprit

[SeaFox]

Let's not take too much stock in it. It's possible her Aunt Jemima is trying to frame her.

Re:Sorry but...

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm from Africa, but I can make a clickable link [theatlantic.com] ;)

Thanks for the article, btw. It answers the question quite nicely.

Re:Sounds like

[maroberts]

The cops are no doubt celebrating the sweet smell of success - with pancakes for breakfast....

Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand?

[MysteriousPreacher]

Bacon Shortage. Stolen Maple Syrup. Clearly there is an international threat to our wholesome breakfast way of life. But where to the Presidential Candidates stand on this issue? Clearly the moderator dropped the ball by not bringing up this vital issue of world peace and security during the debate.

It is a serious issue that threatens to rend the social fabric of society. Women make breakfast for men. That's as traditional as church on Sunday, Real Marriage, and meth-fuelled sex with male prostitutes - all cornerstones of the Republican Party, and what made America great.

What do women do when there's no breakfast to make? Right, they get ideas! Can you imagine a world in which men, weakened by a lack of bacon and maple syrup, lose control over women? A world where women are free to use their in-built pregnancy prevention mechanism, not only to protect themselves from impregnation during rape, but also during normal marital sex? Obama can, and with another term that's exactly where he'll bring America. Romney for traditional values. The black guy for feminazis, socialism, and failing to keep open factories that had already been closed under Bush.

P Ryan.
(Borrowing my friend's account.)

Re:Sounds like

[Anonymous Coward]

Ahhh, sweet victory.

Re:Heavily armed

[Anonymous Coward]

heavily guarded (and presumably heavily armed)

Woah, woah, woah... It isn't the USA, put those guns away.

I figured it was heavily armed for Canadian standards. One of the guys had a knife.

Re:Sounds like

[Dogtanian]

Surely he should have been shot *13* times for a real "Baker's Dozen"? :-O

Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand?

[bluefoxlucid]

You use raspberry to jam radar.

Hello, we're Canadians

[circletimessquare]

Our military expenditures are a tiny fraction of our Southern neighbor's

Less likely to carry guns

Have better healthcare and are therefore more relaxed

We emphasize coordination and and compassion and getting along at the U.N.

Our labor rights are more sound, so we're less agitated

Our commitment to education is high, we see ways to resolve conflict in wise ways rather than brutal vicious ways

We're polite to a fault, we stop our cars in the street so you can cross, we let you go first in line if we both arrive at the same time, and we express in low tones the thinking behind our disagreements

BUT DON'T YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EVER FUCKING MESS WITH OUR MOTHERFUCKING MAPLE SYRUP

Re:Carmel Colored Corn Syrup...

[jd2112]

It was the corn industry: "We secretly replaced Canada's maple syrup with High Fructose Corn Syrup, artificial maple flavor, and food coloring. Let's see if anyone can tell the difference"

Re:Sorry but...

[sootman]

I'm from America. Can someone click that link for me and tell me what it says?

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Where do the Presidential Candidates stand?

[theycallmeB]

The first debate was supposed to be about domestic concerns. The bacon shortage news originated in Europe, and this maple syrup caper is a product of Canada (also, by the by, a leading exporter of frozen waffles), so you will have to wait until the foreign policy debate to find out where the candidates sit on breakfast table issues.

Re:Should you be worried about the food you buy?

[yurtinus]

Did you know that there is practically *never* a reliable chain of custody on the tin foil you buy from the grocery store? Did you know that it's not even made of tin anymore! How can you trust your hat when the strategic tin foil reserves are filled with product from untrusted sources!?!