Fleeing Jurassic Park III 215
We are deep into the summer doldrums, and to what is shaping up as a sub-par movie summer. Score (Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando) is a stylish, genial, high-end crime saga, one of those old-style movies in which the good guys are classy, harm no one, have high ethical standards, and have the neatest tools in the world. The movie is a bit flat and predictable. There is the by-now standard deranged computer hacker who screams at his mom while stuffing junk food into his mouth and hacking into the most sophisticated computer systems in the world in nano-seconds to find out anything anybody wants to know. DeNiro plays an aging burglar who is depressed about having to do one more big score so he can get out of the game and shack up with Angela Bassett. But in this movie, DeNiro is a little too depressed. Norton, a young wannabe, takes him on. Norton does a great job of playing a pseudo-psychotic who keeps you guessing right up to the end precisely what he is capable of. The movie is worth seeing, if only to see these good actors, atmospheric scenes of Montreal, and an aging Brando do one or two neat scenes that suggest the great actor still has it.
Legally Blonde (Reese Witherspoon) suggests another dumb teen movie, but manages to transcend the genre. Witherspoon plays a seemingly brainless but good-hearted Malibu-Barbie type who applies to Harvard Law School to pursue her snotty boyfriend (who dumps her once he's admitted because he needs someone more serious) and who, in the name of diversity, gets admitted. The twist is that this airhead is a sympathetic victim, turned on by snotty peers, jeering classmates, and insulting professors. You know the plot without seeing the movie, but one interesting thing about this film, which goes against expectations, is the way Witherspoon's (who was great in Clueless) character [note: Actually, that was Alicia Silverstone, but who can tell? -T] hangs on to her odd values. If movies are a barometer of anything, this one may be telling us it's okay to obsess on manicures and how you look again. There are, of course, all of the familiar cliches about elitist kids and Harvard. Hollywood needs some new targets. But still, this is the most enjoyable movie I saw all week, which says something.
America's Sweethearts is the summer's most ballyhooed romantic comedy. This should have been a knockout movie. It has a great cast -- Billy Crystal, John Cusack, Julia Roberts, Stanley Tucci, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Christopher Walken, and a great target to feast on -- Hollywood hype, studio culture, and press junkets. Who better than Billy Crystal to write and star in this kind of a movie?
But America's Sweethearts is a shockingly awful movie. The truth is, when push comes to shove, any film is often simply about the writing, something that did in Final Fantasy, and the writing in this one is just terrible. The movie is crammed with slapstick gags that aren't funny, a plethora of masturbation and penis jokes (the Farrelly Brothers do this a lot better), and just crummy dialogue. It's a major disappointment, given the talent involved, maybe one of the biggest of the summer. This movie has about five laughs in its nearly two long and arduous hours.
Personally, the movie I've been waiting for all summer is coming out next week -- the re-make of Planet Of The Apes. According to the movie mags, they were re-shooting the end of this movie as recently as last week, a bad sign. But there's always hope, even this summer.
First... (Score:1)
Oh, and.. first!
Yeah, that guy (Score:1)
Re:hmm (Score:2)
The sequal was pathetic. The special effects were still cool and in a few parts, you still were on the edge of your seat, but it was a sequal that shouldn't have been made.
I wouldn't even consider going to see, buying or even renting the second sequel. The gee-gosh of the special effects is gone now and it'd be a battle just to maintain the suspension of disbelief from the now-standard special effects to the detraction of whatever plot they managed to scrounge together.
You'd think with the big names, big bucks and big experience, they could have used the money and talent behind the third movie and done something seperate and unique rather than rehash the boring dinasaur thing.
Re:Witherspoon in Clueless? (Score:2)
Re:Clueless jonkatz (Score:2)
There was a question a few years ago as to whether or not Slashdot is journalism. To my it's clearly not, since they don't have any hand in creating content. To call Slashdot journalism is an insult to true journalists who investigate subjects and write their own content. Slashdot is more like a leech, waiting for other people to send in newsy things and all they have to do is click a accept/reject button, and maybe throw in a few comments here and there. Slashdot does serve a useful purpose, and it's good at what it does, but it's not journalism by any stretch of the imagination.
Witherspoon in Clueless? (Score:5)
Re:Clueless? (Score:5)
Jon Katz doesn't watch movies.
That's right. I'm almost certain he writes his reviews based on the trailers. "Hey, that Witherspoon chick looks kinda familiar. Wasn't she in......CLUELESS! Yes! I'll put that in my review! And of course, I know the plot before I see the movie; that qualifies me totally, 100% to write an objective, unbiased, informative review."
One the off chance that he actually makes it into a movie theater, he's mumbling "What a goddamned shitty movie" to himself as he is paying for his popcorn.
When he sits down and the film reel starts, he reviews the movies in the pre-feature trailers - each one of them being a horrible muddle of teen-insulting drama permeated by violence and shallow characters. Including That-New-Disney-Flick(tm).
Gene Siskel would be proud. *cough*
Quality Entertainment Content (Score:1)
Clueless? (Score:4)
Re:The advert says... (Score:1)
You obviously took your own advice. Either you didn't have the money to, or your parents didn't let you, see the movie. If you did you would have known those lead-ins produced very different results. Almost to the point of parody.
The great part of JP3 was how it lead you in with stock plot contrevance but played on what you expected to happen next. I for one enjoyed the ride.
Sorry if I'm just picking on you, there are a many posts like this. This goes out to all of them.
~^~~^~^^~~^
not too smart to jump on a T-rex (Score:2)
a) run like crap
b) jump on it's back and give it love bites
I guess they're on an accelerated learning program.
Re:Minutes into? How many minutes? (Score:2)
Re:Star Wars tie in (Score:2)
Re:Agree with all except Planet of the Apes (Score:2)
Re:The advert says... (Score:1)
Other than that, it's just: "Oh no a T-Rex, don't move! Its vision is based on movement." "Oh no, Raptors. They are smart, they set up us the trap".
You can only do this so many times before it becomes tried and boring, like JP3. Don't even bother going.
--
Join my fight against Subway's new cut!
http://spine.cx/subway/ [spine.cx]
Re:Clueless? (Score:1)
Looking back on Election, somebody on the IMDB reviews pointed out the parallels between the movie's election and the 2000 US presidential election, and they are *quite* uncanny. . . particularly the younger sister's (forgotten her name) "plague on both your houses" speech in the school auditorium.
Go you big red fire engine!
Re:Planet of the apes?.... (Score:3)
Of course, he DID say it was courtesy the Simpsons.
That Ape musical is one of the richest bits of parody the Simpsons has ever produced, and it's one I point to when I want to illustrate that the Simpsons isn't just comedy - it's social commentary.
--Jim
Jon (Score:2)
I think what you WANT to say was that Alicia Silverstone was great in Clueless, and that Reese Witherspoon was great in Election, and that Reese Witherspoon's version of Alicia Silverstone's character in Clueless was great!
See? Much clearer.
-Laxitive
Re:Planet Of The Apes (Score:2)
That's the ONLY way they can accomplish it, I'm afraid. You win a little, you lose a little.
Re:What has the MPAA done now? (Score:1)
Re:Clueless? (Score:1)
Duh. (Score:3)
Well, that's because you didn't see Ghost World. Anyone coulda told you that all the movies you reviewed would suck, except for The Score. I was disappointed to see that every single review of it has trashed it, because De Niro and Brando are two of the best living American actors. But even though I sometimes disagree with reviewers, it's rare that I disagree with everyone. So I'll skip it. But as for the others, it was pretty obvious they were going to be shallow, by looking at the trailers, who was in them, and what they were about. What was he last "romantic comedy" that had any redeeming value? Probably Chasing Amy, and that one doesn't even count. And Legally Blonde is such a tip-off summer-movie lame-pun name that you didn't even need to see the retarded trailer to know it would be terrible. Ghost World, though, was a subtle movie that actually contained (gasp!) beauty, and perceptive observations, and acting, and all that stuff! Plus, Steve Buscemi is my hero.
You may have noticed that I haven't given a lot of evidence for my opinions. Well, tough. I'm too lazy.
Re:Clueless? (Score:1)
Re:Another correction on the casting [was Re:hmm] (Score:2)
--
Re:hmm (Score:3)
The JP 3 director knew what he was doing. There were no slowdowns, few plot holes, no wasted time--it was nice and tight at 90 minutes. There were a hell of a lot fewer annoying characters in it than the first JP; the kid (played by one of the child actors from The Sixth Sense, by the way!) was actually a decent character and not someone you kept wishing would get eaten by a dinosaur, and there was no annoying lawyer or Jeff Goldblum either. Sam Neill, always a fantastic actor, did a great job of playing this grown up boy who never quite lost his sense of wonder, even when he tried to hide it under a callous exterior; William Atherton and Tea Leoni were also quite good and very believable as the divorced couple who are brought back together by the the island. There were some cute in-jokes and references back to the first film, too.
I never saw the Goldblum sequel because, hey, I didn't really like Goldblum's character. And from what I've heard, I didn't miss much. But this--this was a sequel worth seeing.
--
Re:Planet of the Apes... (Score:1)
And without Roddy MacDowall dragging his knuckles on the ground...
Re:The advert says... (Score:1)
Re:The advert says... (Score:1)
Re:The advert says... (Score:1)
Re:Kick-butt time (Score:1)
This is Slashdot's Boycott of the MPAA? (Score:2)
Way to go, JK. You're really stickin' it to em now!!
What total and utter crap....
Re:Clueless jonkatz (Score:1)
______________________________
Re:Nice Example, Katz (Score:1)
I'm sure most politicians also have fond memories of their first Playboy or Penthouse, and porn is just as American as apple pie, but that doesn't stop them from trying to ban everything "for the CHILDREN!"
______________________________
Re:Minutes into? How many minutes? (Score:1)
Re:The advert says... (Score:1)
Re:The advert says... (Score:1)
Re:The advert says... (Score:2)
Guess what...he still sucked. : )
Re:Clueless? (Score:2)
Re:Clueless jonkatz (Score:2)
I saw this as an opportunity to read some good reviews submitted by readers, but rather, everyone is just bashing JonKatz, which to be honest, is about as unchallenging and unfulfilling as bashing Dan Quayle, except for that huy above who did some nice analysis of his sentences.
Re:Minutes into? How many minutes? (Score:2)
(Seen it myself. Lucky enough to score some press tickets while on my college newspaper.)
Re:PRICELESS!!! (Score:2)
You in fact seem more entertained by the reviews you percieve to be false than by the movie itself. I don't personally look to critics for my entertainment, although thats not to say they can't be entertaining in their own special way. But reviews should be utilized to determine if its worth my time and money to see the movie in the first place, and afterwards to see if others agree with my point of view.
Therefore, anyone who wants to see a dry movie full of top named actors(resses) weakly poke fun a the very industry they stake their livelihoods on, by all means, go see American Sweethearts. However, if you're just bored on a Saturday night, watching grass grow or paint dry will probably be more entertaining and certainly far less expensive.
-Restil
Re:Movies suck now. (Score:2)
-Restil
Movies suck now. (Score:3)
I was dragged to see America's Sweethearts last night (I had a couple female companions..... what was I to do? say NO!?!?
So what's the deal? Do movies suck more now than they used to, or am I just changing and finding that movies tend to pander to the less neurologically active audience?
-Restil
Re:Planet of the apes?.... (Score:2)
You're right, but I thought the "Betty Ford Clinic" musical was a better example.
Mainly because they double up on the commentary in that one and I simply enjoy bitterness.
Re:Witherspoon in Clueless? (Score:2)
I was never one to bash Katz, but this is getting ridiculous. He appears to be the one that's Clueless. I've seen bad reviews of movies before (that christian "save our children" guy being one primary offender) but to review a movie by talking about other movies?
He used to be too focused, and got bashed for it, now he's done a 180 and appears to have developed literary ADD.
Re:hmm (Score:2)
I won't even mention what happens when you have six sequels [imdb.com]
Re:Movie thoughts (Score:2)
Re:Movies suck now. (Score:2)
Re:Witherspoon in Clueless? (Score:2)
"You see those popular and beautiful girls in your school? what you don't realize is that they are smarter then you too. Face it honey you are both ugly and dumb".
I am glad I don't have any girls, I would hate to be them if this movie becomes popular.
Re:taking jonkatz to school (Score:2)
Jargon file entry for spelling flame. [tuxedo.org]
--
Alex Johns
Re:JP3 (Score:2)
I think a lot of people dislike movies just to dislike movies.
JP3 (Score:3)
Movie reviews on this site have become totally useless. Unless the movie is about some population of people being repressed for being different and can be compared to Columbine Katz doesn't like it. Hey John, pretend the people on the island are being persecuted for being different and the dinosaurs are the "jocks" and then maybe you'll like it!
Re:Clueless jonkatz (Score:2)
Re:Movies suck now. (Score:2)
1. SELECTIVE MEMORY. People tend to remember the good stuff and forget the bad stuff. If you take any particular year, say, 1972, there were just as many pieces of shit that came out in 1972 as there were pieces of shit that came out this year, or five years ago, or fifty. But it's been 29 years since 1972, and the bad movies have mostly vanished into history. What are people going to bother to remember, "The Godfather" or "Invincible Super Chan"?
2. GETTING OLD AND CRUSTY. It's an almost invariable truth that as people get older, they become less flexible, less open to new ideas, and less interested in variety. Some people manage to avoid this entirely, but it's rare -- virtually everyone suffers from this to one degree or another.
There are other, smaller factors, too: As time goes on, there are more and more people in the world, so there are a greater number of people making movies, and thus more movies are released; even if the proportion of crap movies stays constant, the total number of them increase. And other things.
This happens with all media, and virtually all other things. Music, books, video games, movies...
Minutes into? How many minutes? (Score:5)
Re:JP3 (Score:2)
Hey, considering all the Lord of the Flies allusions in the movie, it's actually not that much of a stretch.
Re:The advert says... (Score:2)
JonKatz (Score:3)
The Critic did something like this (Score:2)
*cough cough* Memento (Score:2)
---------------------------
Garden of Eden Creation Kit
Another correction on the casting [was Re:hmm] (Score:2)
As I recall, you've mixed up your Williams. Atherton was the nemesis-scientist in Bio-Dome, among other things, while JP3 fatures William H. Macy (of Pleasantville and loads of others).
Re:Witherspoon in Clueless? (Score:2)
Another tidbit, that he failed to note, is that the writer of Jurassic Park III, Alexander Payne, is repsonsible for the script of two of the funniest American films in recent years. The remarkable Citizen Ruth (an incredible indictment of the entire Right To Life AND Right To Choose movements) and the above mentionned Election, with the adorable Ms. Witherspoon.
This alone is reason enough to sit through the film and listen closely to the dialog, not something, I fear, that the ignominous Mr Katz seems to be capable of; at least not in the context of the sometimes fine art of film review.
Now, if only we could find out to which multiplex he went so can inform the management of his dubious boasts and boliting.
Re:Duh. (Score:2)
Actually most critics are generally liking it it... check out Rotten Tomatoes [rottentomatoes.com] which is kind of a meta-review site; they don't review anything themselves, they just keep track of dozens of REAL reviews (read: Not by Jon Katz).
At the time of this writing, The Score has a 71% approval rating, which is VERY high for that site. (For example, Tomb Raider has 15%, Pearl Harbor has 25%. The general consensus seems to be that the script is only average and somewhat predictable, but this is made up for in spades by the magnificent acting of De Niro, Norton, and Brando.
Personally I thought it had some familiar caper-plot elements, but was NOT a cliched, predictable plot. Spoiler warning: Norton's retarded janitor angle was original and brilliantly played, as was how De Niro broke the safe. And I'd like to meet someone who wasn't surprised (at least for a second) when Norton suddenly started lying and delaying in the middle of the heist in order to eventually betray De Niro.
Re:Clueless jonkatz (Score:3)
No kidding! What the hell was that?? "Gee, I went to see Jurassic Park III, but much to my surprise when the movie started, those losers actually made it about DINOSAURS again, so I left without even giving it a fair chance."
For some real reviews of Jurassic Park III check out Rotten Tomatoes [rottentomatoes.com] (No I am not affiliated with them) The reviews are about half positive, half negative.
Re:Do recent movies suck? (Score:2)
That's bullshit. Memento was a good movie. Crouching Tiger was interesting, and certainly qualifies as "decent". Princess Mononoke was pretty damned cool. LA Confidential was certainly worth watching. There have been a whole shitload of smaller releases that have been worth watching -- Buffalo '66 springs immediately to mind.
All this bullshit about how there are no good movies anymore bugs the crap out of me. There have always been a bucketload of crappy movies, and there have always been a few gems that stand out, against the odds.
But if you keep insisting on giving money to the people that make movies like Pearl Harbor, you're going to keep seeing movies like Pearl Harbor. I have very little sympathy for you.
Re:Do recent movies suck? (Score:2)
Nah. Most movies are pretty crappy.
Re:Do recent movies suck? (Score:2)
Hollywood has always been a giant shit factory, and only by happy accident have you ever found some still edible corn in the middle of all that excrement.
I just get pissed off at clueless folks who pretend like this situation is somehow "new", or that there's no corn left in the bowl. There has been plenty of nuggety goodness in the past few years, and I have no sympathy for someone who keeps paying good money to eat the brown stuff.
Re:Movie thoughts (Score:2)
Movie: $10 for two hours. Totally passive.
Computer game: $50 for many tens of hours. Interactive. Increasingly social.
And I wonder if computer games now actually require more work to create than movies? (Diablo II vs. American Sweetharts, say?)
Re:Movies suck now. (Score:5)
Hollywood just has too few ideas in its collective mind:
I've taken to watching foreign films. Subtitles are a drag, and I often miss cultural references, but at least there is some variety. And a foreign film has to really prove itself to get into Blockbuster. In contrast, it seems that worse an American film is, the more the studios hype it in order to compensate.
Re:The advert says... (Score:2)
Did Michael Crichton have anything to do at all with this film, the third consecutive rape of what started off as a pretty good novel? I mean besides the "based on the book" credit.
woof.
Pity the Europeans who will get these films a few months later, badly overdubbed.
hmm (Score:5)
And anybody dumb enough to go see that movie deserves what he gets...
Honestly, didn't you know what to expect when you went to see it? I did, I knew exactly what I was gonna get, and that's what I got. No more No less. But at least I'm not complaining...
Re:hmm (Score:2)
Re:The advert says... (Score:5)
In the movie, however, it's "life will find a way", the usual Hollywood BS about the limitations of human endeavor, arrogant scientists destroying us all, etc. The point is _totally_ changed into something Joe Sixpack and the scriptwriters can understand. There's a world of difference between these worldviews, which most people miss- it's the single largest difference between the book and the movie.
By the way, you should watch "Silverado", a mid-80s western (along with "Unforgiven", one of the few great movies in the genre to come out in the last 20 years). It's got a superb cast (Kevin Kline, Danny Glover, Scott Glenn, Kevin Costner, Brian Dennehy, etc.), and Jeff Goldblum plays a very oily bad guy. Much different.
-Nat
Movie thoughts (Score:2)
These are some probably off-base trains of thought, but I just woke up, so please excuse my insanity.
From the looks of things... (Score:3)
Tell me what makes you so afraid
Of all those people you say you hate
JP3 wasnt that bad... (Score:2)
I admit, the first dino scene with the plane did look kinda cheesy (it was obvious that was an animatronic dino instead of CGI) but I thought the bird-cage and some of the raptor scenes were done pretty well. Maybe they should've thrown a Compy attack in for good measure, but I went to the theatre to see dinosaurs and that's what I got. Long ago I discovered that turning off the logical part of your brain while watching a movie is the only sure way to have a good time.
Katz shouldn't be bashing a movie after only seeing the first few minutes, that's like reading the first 2 pages in a book and saying the plotline was terrible. If you dont like dinosaurs, please go rot your brain in another Reese Witherspoon movie.
P.S. If the spineosaurus had run out onto the airstrip and eaten Tea Leoni in the first 10 minutes of the movie I would've paid to see it on a regular-fare night instead of a cheap-night... god she's annoying.
Re:The advert says... (Score:2)
I have to disagree with you on this point. I think The Andromeda Strain is well written and quite a good read. If you haven't ever read it, I would recommend you give it a try. I believe this was his first book that was made into a movie, and it has just been downhill from there. Hollywood has ruined him, he now writes his books like a screenplay, so they'll be easier to adapt to the screen. Hollywood should just hire him as a screenwriter and skip the painful step of the book. Maybe it would make the movies a little better.
Enigma
Sweethearts: made for hollywood, by hollywood. (Score:2)
Apparently, the studio got word of this, or talked to someone of the same opinion, and changed the script after the shooting was done. They removed most of what Crystal had wanted to movie to be about and tried to repackage it as what it is.
So it's little wonder that it failed, regardless of the casting.
What has the MPAA done now? (Score:5)
Bolited? Hmmm, the closest word to this that I could find was:
Heh. Image comes to mind of a new MPAA video content protection scheme: critics who don't like a film are caused to explode, thus acting as a warning to others... would YOU want to copy a film that might make you blow up, to? :)
Re:America's Sweethearts (Score:2)
Agreed. He was brilliant. Didn't he also do the memorable 'Agador Spartacus' in 'The Birdcage'? That was another great performance.
For eye candy, you can peep Catherine-Zeta Jones and Julia Roberts.
Catherine Zeta-Jones is indeed stunning.
I also thought she maximized her character. She was dead-on as a Hollywood prima donna bitch. But Zeta-Jones, Azaria, and Alan Arkin, and Walken had the only well-written parts in the movie. And of this bunch, only Zeta-Jones had significant screen time. The rest of the actors -- Cusack, Roberts, and Crystal -- walked around the same goddam hotel for two hours spewing what were, to my ears, non-sequitir after non-sequitir. Plus, the series of 'revelations' after the screening are beyond belief, as is Cusack's attraction to the utterly boring Roberts. Billy Crystal's script and direction utterly fail.
By the way, Roberts fans (not me) will be disappointed by this movie. She dresses poorly, shows no radiance, and her glorious smile is nearly absent. Of course, this is in line with her dowdy character, but still. Julia Roberts without the girly-girl-isms is just another anorexic brown-haired woman.
Re:JonKatz and the Case of Broken Moral Compass (Score:2)
Sure he does (Score:2)
He just goes out of his way to watch movies that a: are quite obviously not the least bit intellegent and b: have already been reviewed by everyone else on the planet. If they happen to require any sort of historical perspective, he predictably sounds like an typical 15 year old (The guy's what, 40 or 45?). I seem to recall "It made me think 'Gee, the world was really different back in the 30s'" from one of his recent ones.
I may have just missed it, but I'd find it really amusing to see him review something like Memento. That's probably the best-done movie to hit his lilly-white suburban multi-plex lately. If he ever ventured into the parts of the world where a lot of the geeks he claims mouthpiece status for live (the *gasp* CITIES), he could try his hand at discussing the sucesses and failures of something like "The Luzhin Defence", the film adaptation of V. Nabokov's brilliant work on obsession "The Defense". That would be fun to see. (Although it would be much more fun to see the confused looks on his face all the way through either movie.)
Alas, he stays true to going to bad movies with pretty pictures and lots of shiney things and then panning them because everyone else has as well.
The advert says... (Score:4)
Planet of the apes?.... (Score:5)
Snippets follow, curtesy of the simpsons. The broadway show has now been in preparation for I don't know how many years! I can't wait for it to come out!
"Dr. Zaius"
Ape: Help, the human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape.
Ape: [gasping] He can talk!
Apes: [in unison, rythmed] He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
Troy: [singing] I can siiiiiing!
[funky beat of "Rock Me Amadeus" starts playing]
Female Nurse Ape: Ooh, help me Dr. Zaius!
Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: What's wrong with me?
Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: Want a second opinion.
Zaius: You're also lazy.
Apes: [in unison] Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
[one ape starts breakdancing]
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: Can I play the piano anymore?
Zaius: Of course you can.
Troy: Well I couldn't before!
[plays piano]
"You'll Never Make a Monkey Out of Me"Troy: [singing] I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me
Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along
You've finally made a monkey
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey
Troy: Yes, you've finally made a monkey out of me
Apes: Yes, we've finally made a monkey out of you
Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!
~
Planet of the Apes...and Heston (Score:3)
I have to agree with that statement. Although the original Planet of the Apes seemed to be sort of a B-movie it contrasted highly with the points in the film (Humans cannot talk, etc) and the acting of Heston making it seem more than a B-movie. I only say that because it seems like Heston had graduated from making epic movies (Ben-Hur and Ten Commandments) to cult movies (though a lot smaller budget) like Omega Man, POTA, and Soylent Green. Even though the sci-fi films he made in the latter part of his career may not have had the production values of other of his films the acting that he did in those films was nonetheless usually on mark as in the statue of liberty scene at the end of Planet...you can truly sense his disgust and rage with humanity.
I did read the novel by Pierre Boulle back in the 8th? grade and thought it was very good but in a different way than the movie.
I hold hope for this new interpretation of Planet though because I love Burton's movies (Batman, Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands) but it's always tricky when you do remakes....especially of classics (or cult classics).
Re:JP3 (Score:2)
LEXX
Who loves film but HATES Hollywood.
taking jonkatz to school (Score:5)
So I bolited, skipped illegally across the hallways of the megaplex to write a weekly wrap-up instead.
"Bolted" is spelled wrong. "Illegally" is misplaced. There should probably be an "and" after the comma.
What can you say about a week in which the most entertaining movie was Legally Blonde? Hang on for Planet of the Apes next Friday.
Well, you seemed to say quite a bit. If you were serious the article would have ended there. What can you say about a review that confirms its futility in the first paragraph?
We are deep into the summer doldrums, and to what is shaping up as a sub-par movie summer.
This sentence doesn't read well. Say it out loud. The phrase "sub-par movie summer" should not be used by a professional writer.
Score (Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Marlon Brando) is a stylish, genial, high-end crime saga, one of those old-style movies in which the good guys are classy, harm no one, have high ethical standards, and have the neatest tools in the world. The movie is a bit flat and predictable.
One sentence, three lists, eight commas. Following that ornate creation, we have the choppiest sentence in the article. Interesting juxtaposition.
The movie is worth seeing, if only to see these good actors, atmospheric scenes of Montreal, and an aging Brando do one or two neat scenes that suggest the great actor still has it.
"Seeing" or "see", one of them has to go. Professional writers generally don't use the adjective "neat", unless they mean "tidy."
Witherspoon plays a seemingly brainless but good-hearted Malibu-Barbie type who applies to Harvard Law School to pursue her snotty boyfriend (who dumps her once he's admitted because he needs someone more serious) and who, in the name of diversity, gets admitted.
Whoa.
But still, this is the most enjoyable movie I saw all week, which says something.
But we know not what.
The truth is, when push comes to shove, any film is often simply about the writing, something that did in Final Fantasy, and the writing in this one is just terrible.
Again, whoa. On of the first two prepositional phrases has to go. The rest of the sentence is terrible and should be srapped. Bad use of pronouns, undescriptive adjectives, and questionable sentence structure.
I hope I wasn't too hard on you. Your sentence structure would improve a great deal if you chose more appropriate adjectives.
Art At Home [artathome.org]
Re:Editorial Bias? (Score:3)
Funny - I don't recall him saying that about any of the 3 movies he reviewed above. In fact I thought he gave well thought out commentary on the movies (even if he got his blondes confused) Face it - JP3 does suck. But he bailed on a crappy movie to see three others, two of which he generally seemed to like and didn't use the word suck anywhere in the review. So is it Jon that's biased against movies or you who are biased against Jon?
IMHO I'm glad he reviewed these movies instead of JP3 cuase everyone knew it was gonna suck anyway :)
Nice Example, Katz (Score:5)
Way to set back the movement, JK. Couldn't you just have accepted the lame dinosaurs and toughed it out???
He's right about Legaly Blonde. (Score:2)
Re:Review of Jurassic Suck 3 (Score:2)
Uh, yeah, rip off Aliens much? Anyone else catch themselves whispering "What do you mean 'They cut the power'. They're animals, man!".
Re:Minutes into? How many minutes? (Score:2)
Try it next time you watch a movie. Generally between 22 and 28 minutes, something major to the plot will happen.
Katz is a fool. I mean God, I say through Reanimator from start to finish, and that was on video which I could have stopped at any time. If I could do that I'm pretty sure a hack like Katz could have given the movie 30 minutes instead of defrauding the theatre.
Re:Katz is a little too bitter.... (Score:2)
Some of it has to do with the fact that he has to review a major release every week, and sometimes the only major release is a complete turkey.
I think reviewers (unless they're karma whores, see the Flithy Critic) just get sick and tired of all the crap they have to watch.
Re:Katz - All your opinions are belong to you (Score:2)
I jokingly predicted the remake of "Rollerball" and was horrified to hear they were actually releasing it this summer.
Some bright spark in Hoolywood is going to re-make "The Third Man", in a comtemporary setting, starring either Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. On that day I will have to hurt someone.
Clueless jonkatz (Score:5)
"it was a dark and stormy night"
Re:Movies suck now. (Score:2)
I saw a foreign film (German, I think) about transvestites, homosexuals, and a guy (heterosexual) who couldn't keep his snake in his pants.
It was actually a REALLY entertaining movie, and nowhere was the plot EXTREMELY weird.
I liked the part at the end where the guy had met up with an old love interest, took her home, and she offered him a spray that was given to mating bulls. The guy turns it down, and she ends up in the bathtub with the boyfriend of one of the homosexual guys (!), who happened to be "the straightest homosexual" the group of gay friends had seen. Anyways, it was cool because it was so different, and always believable.
I never did get the name of that movie, although I wish I had.
Not that it would matter, my DVD player would probably be unable to play it (wrong region code).
Re:Nice Example, Katz (Score:5)
sneaking into movie == clever kid
watching DVD in wrong region == felon
Planet of the Apes (Score:2)
Review of Jurassic Suck 3 (Score:5)
Editorial Effort [Re:Witherspoon in Clueless?] (Score:5)
Fifteen seconds? Twenty?
I've worked in publishing. People get fired every day for making mistakes less than this.
It is just shoddy.