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Star Wars Prequels Media Movies The Almighty Buck Entertainment

Star Wars Episode III : Birth Of The Empire 970

lemmen writes "According the Brtish tabloid The Sun, Star Wars III will carry the name 'Birth Of The Empire'. This will be announced soon according the article. Also it describes one of the highlights of the movie: 'A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.' Can't wait till May 15th 2005!" Thanks to reader ExoticMandibles, another quality news source: Teen Hollywood. Update: 05/20 05:47 GMT by T : Gokey writes with a correction: "StarWars.com indicates that the movie is released May 19th, 2005 (exactly one year from now) not May 15th, 2005."
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Star Wars Episode III : Birth Of The Empire

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  • by Radon Knight ( 684275 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @02:56PM (#9197898)
    I suppose the only consolation is that it could have been worse. How, exactly, is eluding me at the moment, but I am sure that it could have been.
    • by Xhad ( 746307 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @02:57PM (#9197916) Homepage Journal
      For awhile everyone thought it was going to be called "The Creeping Fear".
      • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:00PM (#9197959)
        That's exactly how I would have described my feelings about more prequels after the first one.
      • by plasm4 ( 533422 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:25PM (#9199011) Journal
        The Creeping Fear doesn't make sense, as its a thing.
        ANH and TPM are both things.
        AOTC and ESB are both things in action.
        ROTJ and Birth of the Empire are both events.

        I thinks its funny that the rumor sites never caught onto this parallel, especially since George has been so into creating parallels with the first three movies.
        • by autopr0n ( 534291 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @05:27PM (#9199741) Homepage Journal
          I thinks its funny that the rumor sites never caught onto this parallel, especially since George has been so into creating parallels with the first three movies.

          You don't seem to have much of a sense of grammar, I have to say. Not that I'm a grammar Nazi, but I do know a little bit about speech. The subject in "Attack of the Clones" is the attack, not the clones, while the subject of "The Empire Strikes Back" is the empire itself, so there isn't really much of a parallel in the titles, beyond the parallelism in all of the titles.

          Not to mention, your analysis is pretty week, because what you call "things in action" are both events and actions. An attack is an event. And so is a "strike", (certainly a military strike, which is what we are talking about).

          And of course, all "events" are also "things". I mean, obviously a "new hope" or a "phantom menace" are not anymore corporeal things then events like a "strike", a "birth", a "return" or an "attack".

          Finally, you can take any set of pairs and come up with some kind of crazy-ass meaning. For example:

          "The Birth of the Empire" and "A new hope",
          both are about beginnings.

          "The Phantom Menace" and "The Empire Strikes Back" both deal with bad things happening. (The Empire, which is evil, doing something. And something being a menace, and a phantom menace at that As opposed to ANH, or RotJ, which are good, and AotC which is neutral)

          "Attack of the Clones" and "Return of the Jedi"

          Both "verb of the noun" form.

          My point isn't that there is some clear pattern, just that you can draw parallels between just about everything if you really try.
    • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:01PM (#9197976)
      "Star Wars: Birth of George Lucas' Hollywood Hills Mansion"
      • by macshune ( 628296 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:46PM (#9198506) Journal
        Exactly! The title is some sort of weird grandfather paradox. This movie gives birth to the characters that inhabit the earlier movies later in time that give Lucas the money to create his empire so that he can make the former movies to create his empire because his empire is dependent on the characters that are in Birth of the Empire.

        ...right? Hmmmm, I predict that the reply to this post that asks, "Huh?" will get +5 Funny.
        • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:48PM (#9198530)
          Huh?
        • by silverbolt ( 578120 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:48PM (#9198536)
          Huh ?
          • by damien_kane ( 519267 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:34PM (#9199102)
            Lucas has, in effect, created a temporal paradox.
            If he is somehow stopped from making this movie, then Anakin will never turn into Darth Vader, and the Empire will never be born.
            If there is no Empire and no Vader, then the original trilogy could have never existed, thereby negating two things:
            1. Lucas' immense wealth (as well the wealth of Hammil and the fame of Ford).
            2. The need for the prequels.

            If there is no need for the prequels, 2 things will happen due to that:
            1. There will have been no prequels, so /.ers will nothing to bitch about.
            2. No more Natalie Portman, so /.ers will have nothing to troll about.

            So... this movie has to be made, the alternative being something along the lines of `mv /dev/existence /dev/null`

            And all this time I thought that the Catholics would be the ones to negate the creation [imdb.com]...

            On that note, who's up for goin to Hollywood with me to stop this movie from being made?
            I figure we've got 8 days...
            • by AvantLegion ( 595806 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @08:02PM (#9200703) Journal
              1. There will have been no prequels, so /.ers will nothing to bitch about.
              2. No more Natalie Portman, so /.ers will have nothing to troll about.

              Must be your first day here if you think it takes Star Wars to get Slashdot bitching.

              Jesus Christ could descend from Heaven, contradict the Bible and grant forgiveness and entrance into Heaven to even those that did not follow him, promise people anything they could possibly want is waiting for them in Heaven.... and Slashdotters would bitch about having to stand in line.

              And they'd call Jesus a flip-flopper.

    • "Surfboards?" (Score:5, Insightful)

      by bonch ( 38532 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:22PM (#9198246)
      Screw the title, is anyone else worried about this cheesy-sounding fight on lava surfboards? Surfboards?!

      God, Lucas, please stop! Give me a dignified sword fight in the vein of the OT. Nope, we need green-screened, CG'd light saber battles on top of lava with the two combatants using them like surfboards!!!
      • by The Ultimate Fartkno ( 756456 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:32PM (#9198358)


        And at some point during that battle, there *will* be a "clever" visual gag that makes the lava-surfing look like real surfing, and at that point a major character will say "whoah!" like unto the manner of Keanu Reeves. Ad at that point, I will fling poo at the screen.

        Mark my words, George Lucas! Poo!

      • Re:"Surfboards?" (Score:5, Informative)

        by Spanyrd ( 259509 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:39PM (#9198438) Homepage
        IIRC, the lava-field battle is established Star Wars history. It was the injuries that Anakin Sustained during this battle that caused him to turn into Vader. The massive internal injuries and loss of limbs were the reasons for all the cybernetics. Getting pissy about this fight being in the third movie is just ignorant, if it had been left out, that would be a reason to complain.

        ...the surfboard thing sounds pretty stupid, though.
        • Re:"Surfboards?" (Score:4, Insightful)

          by bonch ( 38532 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:48PM (#9198540)
          I never complained about the lava battle. Everyone knows about the volcano.

          I'm complaining about the goddamned "extreme" surfing that will apparently be taking place in a battle that should be serious and epic, two former Jedi partners fighting each other in a conflict of Light and Dark Force!

          Nope, let's CG lava, CG platforms, and greenscreen our actors instead so we have no class left.
          • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:04PM (#9198754)
            WTF is this? Is the movie even done yet? No! And here you are, condemning it for shit that may or may not even be in it!

            I'm going to complain about the scene where the Power Puff Girls come riding in on three identical My Little Ponies and shoot frickin' lasers out of their eyes at C3P0. I hate the fuckin scene! I mean come on! My Little Ponies!?! How lame!
          • Volcano? (Score:5, Funny)

            by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:09PM (#9198829)
            Everyone knows about the volcano.

            I still have my original programs from Episode 4, Star Trek TMP, Close Encounters and Superman... I was on Isaac Asimov's security detail at Star Trek conventions in the 70's... I won a science fiction trivia contest at a con... I published a fanzine for several years... I financed that fanzine with proceeds from selling swords, "crystal balls" and other drek in the huckster room of many cons... My first date with my wife was to see The Empire Strikes Back...

            And still, I feel an uplifting soul-freeing relief, because I didn't know about the fucking volcano.
          • by EngMedic ( 604629 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:35PM (#9199121) Homepage
            Just be glad that Legolas probably won't show up and surf down some stairs on a shield...
      • by heir2chaos ( 656103 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:42PM (#9198460)
        Oh man, finally a movie to put a Beach Boys song in.
      • by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:51PM (#9199306) Homepage Journal
        Screw the title, is anyone else worried about this cheesy-sounding fight on lava surfboards? Surfboards?!

        I'd personally like to thank the retard editor who let this spoiler go. Surfing lightsabre battle, great, I'm sure it's fantastic, but what is it with posters and editors who think it's necessary to dump details without a spoiler warning? I find I enjoy movies best knowing as little about them as possible before going in. In particular it saves people from me being yet-another-twit posting about how this or that was a let down thanks to my inflated expectations.

        I'll see it when it comes out, probably a week or so after opening and when crowds have thinned (after all the whinging begins in papers and on /. about how it sucked because of this, that or the other thing.)

    • by nacturation ( 646836 ) <[nacturation] [at] [gmail.com]> on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:46PM (#9198517) Journal
      The source was fake. The real title is:
      Star Wars III: Miscarriage of Lucas
    • by Minwee ( 522556 ) <dcr@neverwhen.org> on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:04PM (#9198760) Homepage
      If Episode III is "Birth of the Empire", then that would make the two before it "Painful Contractions of the Empire".
  • by Andorion ( 526481 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @02:57PM (#9197904)
    ... surfing on lava? ... surfing on lava? ... surfing on lava? ... sorry, brain seems to be malfunctioning.

    ~Berj
  • by pyros ( 61399 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @02:58PM (#9197931) Journal
    Aahhhhh, it's a Vader! Congratulations.
  • by kannibal_klown ( 531544 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @02:59PM (#9197954)
    I vaguely remember that much of Anakin's damage (and the subsequent need of the Darth-suit for life support) was due to him and Ben fighting near lava or plasma. So, I'm glad that's still in there.

    But I swear to God in heaven! If the battle consists of Ben and Anny fighting while surfing on 2 rocks floating on a lava flow, I'm walking out.

    Knowing Lucas lately, they'll be Beach Boys playing in the background, and Anny will be catchign some "serious air, maannnnn".
  • Surfing (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Custard ( 587661 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:00PM (#9197957) Homepage Journal
    Surfing on lava... surfing on a shield down stairs at Helm's Deep... what's with Hollywood's need to write out-of-character surf stunts into sci-fi/fantasy movies?
  • by fliptout ( 9217 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:01PM (#9197971) Homepage
    This is one birth that should have been aborted.
  • by BillFarber ( 641417 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:03PM (#9197987)
    May I humbly propose, without attempting to troll, that the Star Wars franchise is no longer relavant? Like most pop art, it is no longer in fashion. Most people I talk to today simply don't care.
    • by Strange Ranger ( 454494 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:00PM (#9198685)
      Like most pop art, it is no longer in fashion

      To the dismay of fashion conscious /.ers the world over.

      How are you 2 doing anyway?
    • by WillWare ( 11935 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:24PM (#9198994) Homepage Journal
      You're right. I was in high school in 1977 and I really enjoyed the first movie. I knew people who had Star Wars posters up in their rooms, and maybe even a few lunchboxes, but nobody was obsessed.

      Lucas says he planned a series of movies all along but nobody believed it until Empire Strikes Back. Suddenly Star Wars seemed as deep as Star Trek. Together the two movies implied a much bigger background than the first one alone. We all started drinking the Joseph Campbell kool-aid.

      Return of the Jedi did a nice job of continuing the mystique and mythology, but the sucky Ewoks started to make it easier to step back and think, hey, it's just a bunch of movies. Episodes 1 and 2 have completed that process.

  • or... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:03PM (#9197991)
    Anakin dies... Episode 7 comes out months later revealing that JarJar is ObiWan's new Padawan and that episodes 4-6 were just a dream. New franchise of starwars movies announced.
  • Surfing? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Kallahar ( 227430 ) <kallahar@quickwired.com> on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:03PM (#9197997) Homepage
    Surfing on lava? SURFING ON LAVA? I guess we're in store for another gripping special effects movie which utterly bores anyone over 8 years old.

    Now, if they fired Lucas and made the Zahn books into movies then they could rekindle the franchise, but Lucas would never allow that.
  • Lava (Score:4, Insightful)

    by l810c ( 551591 ) * on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:03PM (#9197999)
    'A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.'

    Oh great, this will be ultra realistic. Lucas has just gotten way too happy with the CGI in the prequels. Give me the old minatures any day.

    4-6 were cool because they were grounded in reality with some cool special effects. The prequels have lost all sense of reality. A few of the things that bug me:

    A planet with a water core that you can travel through, I just don't think this was possible
    Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.
    Jedi's plummiting 100's of feet through the air and landing on flying cars.

    My list goes on and on. Fighting on lava is another example.

    • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:14PM (#9198151)

      Yoda needed cane to walk and then doing double back flip, mctwists while fighting.

      Ah you see, that is Yoda being the crafty little bugger that he is. Notice that he waits until everyone else (except his opponent of course) is out cold before engaging in said acrobatics. As soon as the others start to come round he is back on the stick before they can notice.

      I suspect a benefit/social security fiddle of some sort...
      • by Gzip Christ ( 683175 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:37PM (#9198405) Homepage
        I suspect a benefit/social security fiddle of some sort...
        If ever there was cut and dried example of why we need to raise the retirement age for social security benefits, Yoda is it. He went on to milk the system for a good 3 - 4 hundred years and now, as you so insightfully pointed out, we discover that he easily could have worked at least 200 - 300 more years. If the baby boomers don't kill the social security system for us, the Jedi certainly will - raise the retirement age now!
    • Re:Lava (Score:4, Funny)

      by samhalliday ( 653858 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:16PM (#9198172) Homepage Journal
      4-6 were cool because they were grounded in reality

      "riiiight l810c..."
      (reaching for phone to the men in white coats)
      "and what was that you were saying about the potato men coming to get you when the clouds rose?"
      (hurry up!!!)

    • Re:Lava (Score:5, Insightful)

      by ehiris ( 214677 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:20PM (#9198220) Homepage
      Give me the old minatures any day.

      Forget the miniatures. I've seen a little about the making of Predator vs. Alien and they use technology for them, but that technology is to make them real. They are very cool big robots each controlled by a team of people.
      I don't know about you but to me CGI doesn't look real. The movements, textures, and impacts are always too perfect. Even if the try to make them imperfect, they are perfectly imperfect.
  • by Gothmolly ( 148874 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:04PM (#9198009)
    Heck, for a Jedi, WALKING on lava is possible. That might be a cool fight - each has to walk on the lava, then they're using the Force to stay walking on the surface w/o dying - Annakin somehow losing his concentration, and slipping into the lava.
  • by Minwee ( 522556 ) <dcr@neverwhen.org> on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:04PM (#9198012) Homepage
    "The sixth movie in the series also features Anakin's transformation into evil Darth Vader and his baby son, Luke, being smuggled to safety to the desert planet Tatooine."

    Holy crap! Darth Vader is Luke's father? Way to spoil the ending for me, guys.

    • Re:Spoiler alert (Score:4, Insightful)

      by hyperizer ( 123449 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:19PM (#9198211)
      The sixth movie in the series also features Anakin's transformation into evil Darth Vader and his baby son, Luke, being smuggled to safety to the desert planet Tatooine.

      Good idea, smuggle him to his father's home planet. Why didn't Lucas create a couple more places? It always struck me as ridiculous that he made Anakin come from Tatooine in Episode 1 (to say nothing of the whole Vader is also C3PO's father weirdness).
  • by Bluetrust25 ( 647829 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:07PM (#9198058)
    "...while surfing on lava."

    Obi-wan: You will not fall to the dark side!
    Anakin: Hang ten old man!

    (Anakin escapes)
    Obi-wan: Bogus

    My wife says that the only joy she takes from this is that it's the last movie.
  • surfing on lava?

    how can someone create such a dark and fantastic universe and make it so compelling int he first 3 movies, and then fill it with things like jar jar and "surfing on lava" (whoa gnarly yo!) and other idiocies in the last 3

    well, the ewoks were a hint of the direction i guess

    maybe lucas, who said he wants this to be for kids, not adults, is crashing the entire ship of the series against this rock of kid-friendliness

    but you don't have to make it like shrek to appeal to kids

    i mean i saw star wars at 7, and it was stunning... no jar jar binks needed to apply to captivate me

    i think lucas really screwed up that whole "kid-friendliness" dictate- what that really means to be "kid-friendly", and what its dubious implementation might do to the tone of the series

  • May 15th, 2005? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by smd4985 ( 203677 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:11PM (#9198103) Homepage
    Isn't that a Sunday? That can't be right....
  • Class vs. Camp (Score:5, Insightful)

    by addie ( 470476 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:11PM (#9198113)
    This is not surprising, but it is depressing. I know that every one of you reading this comment has seen the Luke vs. Vader lightsaber fight in Ep6. It was classic, I would almost call it artful. The lighting, the music, the overall mood was just fantatsic moviemaking.

    So what do we have to follow this up? Fighting on lava surf boards? That's just stupid. I wish I could say it more eloquently, but it's just. plain. stupid. The original movies exhibited a certain amount of class, but now it's just drivel. I cannot possibly get excited or emotionally involved in a battle when I'm laughing at the implausability of the entire affair. It's the same reason that the huge battle at the end of Ep2 sucked so hard: there was too much going on, it was too fancy, and it was there just for the sake of coolness.

    Minimalist direction and set design can convey so much more emotion and plot than overblown, busy looking CG riddled garbage. Of course I'll see this movie, but I'm going into it knowing I'll be laughing at, rather than actually caring for, the characters.

    I'm not angry at George Lucas, he has a right to make the movie he saw in his head. I just rather pity him. Growing old should make someone more mature, not less.
  • by Animats ( 122034 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:12PM (#9198119) Homepage
    'A thrilling lightsabre clash between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker while surfing on lava.'

    You mean like the lava surfing scene in Spy Kids 3D?

    Lucas used to be original. But THX-1138 was a long time ago.

  • by Scrab ( 573004 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:14PM (#9198154)
    modern movies seem obsessed with being "cooler" than everything that has gone before.

    Case in point

    Matrix - Kung Fu in a virtual world
    Matrix Reloaded - Kung Fu in a virtual world with mythical beasts
    Matrix Revolutions - Kung Fu in a virtual worldwith mythical beasts that walked on the celing and not the floor.

    It's like Star Wars is running out of ideas so the franchise is going for big and flashy over anything worth watching. This is why I am predicting that there will be a battle involving the largest armies ever concieved, and this time, there will either be a two lightsabred enemy or more than one bad guy at once. Just so this film can be "Bigger, More Destructive, Better" than the last one.

    Which is a shame, because these new films are in serious danger of ruining the original films (which I love) just by association....
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:21PM (#9198239)
    I just saw this banner on starwars.com

    Episode III: A Year to Go

    WhatMeWorry

  • by Sabu mark ( 205793 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:22PM (#9198241)
    Once the third movie comes out, the number of crappy Star Wars movies will equal the number of those generally regarded as good. Rather than being blights on a franchise that is generally good, we must face the notion that perhaps the bad movies are the norm and that the "good" movies are, in the end, nothing more than pleasant surprises in a generally crappy franchise. After all, our positive impressions of the first three movies are artificially induced to some extent by nostalgia. You don't want to admit it, but deep down, in your heart of hearts, you know that if Return Of The Jedi came out today instead of when you were a kid, you would think it was no better than the last two crappy movies.
  • by apachetoolbox ( 456499 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:25PM (#9198278) Homepage
    ... hidden at the bottom of the page: The source added: "'Birth of the Empire' is the favourite title so far."
  • by the_skywise ( 189793 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:27PM (#9198298)
    That after this third movie they're dumping the cast and going with a whole new cast except for the droids and Yoda?

    That can't be smart.
  • by Enigma_Man ( 756516 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:28PM (#9198313) Homepage
    But I liked all the movies so far. I guess I have the ability to just enjoy a movie without criticizing every thing about it.

    About the name of the movie, why the shit-fits from all the people? It's simple, and very much similar to the rest of the titles of all of them, including the older ones.

    -Jesse, likes all of them.
  • Maybe... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by jcoleman ( 139158 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @03:52PM (#9198577)
    ...the spoilers don't have the whole story? Ever thought of that? Perhaps the two are fighting on a platform *over* lava that falls into the lava having been ripped from its base. Maybe Palaptine does the ripping. Maybe it's cut by a lightsaber. Do you ACTUALLY think that we will see Jedi "surfing?" That would be *too* stupid. Not going to happen.

    Go ahead, mod me down as though I were some sort of nerd heretic. Although it's really odd how being a Star Wars fan used to be a nerd prereq, and now you have to despise the movies in order to get your loser cap.

  • by billyradcliffe ( 698854 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:02PM (#9198714) Homepage
    Star Whores III: Girth Of The Empire
  • by youknowmewell ( 754551 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:20PM (#9198953)
    I remember being probably around 5 or 6 when I watched the star wars movies. I liked them then, and I can't wait until the first trilogy is released on DVD September. That said, I was pretty young and couldn't really make an opinion over "Wow that's cool!" and couldn't appreciate the fine details in the first 3 movies. I haven't watched them in a while either so the memories of them are vague at best.

    Getting to the question at hand, what about episodes 1 and 2 turned you off? I enjoyed them on their own merits rather than comparing them to the first trilogy (because it was easy for me, read above), and although there were some things like a planet with a core of water that was unrealistic, Star Wars in general is unrealistic.

    Of course, there is the Jar Jar Binks factor. Personally I bet Lucas regretted that character, I know I sure would.

    Some talk about a Jedi falling 100 feet and landing on a flying car and how that is unrealistic, others talk about the set rules of physics that seem to be ignored in I and II, others about destroying the "wise sage" that was Yoda, and also the demystifying of the force with science. I'm sure there is more, which I hope you'd inform me of.

    One thing I'd like to say is that episode II to me seemed to show the golden age of the Jedi coming to an end. I can see how certain things in the first 2 or 3 episodes could be different from the last 3, such as the jumping from 100 feet thing.

    Anyway, I'd like to hear your responses as I've been wondering why people seem to rag on the new SW movies a bit.
    • The Good and Bad (Score:5, Interesting)

      by Aexia ( 517457 ) on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @08:37PM (#9200884)
      Episode 1:
      Good - The overall plot of Palpatine's manipulations to gain control of the Republican.
      Bad - It's possibly *too* subtle. Even at the end, one of my friends *still* didn't realize he was Darth Sidious.
      Good - Ewan McGreggor and Liam Neeson.
      Bad - Everything about Anakin and JAR JAR.
      Bad - Having R2D2 and C3PO be present.
      Bad - Midichlorines.
      Bad - The trade alliance droids.
      Bad - Pretty much all the dialogue.
      Bad - Everything related to Jar Jar's people and their battle later on.
      Bad - A democraticly elected MONARCH? Come on.
      Bad - Anakin blowing up the droid control ship.
      Good - Darth Maul.
      Bad - He's hardly in it.

      Episode 2:
      Good - Nearly everything in the Obi-Wan side of things.
      Good - Dooku's conversation with Obi-Wan where he portrays himself as a rebel against the insidious dark side which is taking over the empire and needs Obi-Wan's help.
      Bad - Obi-Wan automagically deciding he's evil.
      Bad - EVERYTHING on the Anakin/Padme side of things. The romance is laughably bad.
      Good - Yoda. (I'm in the minority)
      Good - Obi-Wan.
      Bad - Anakin.
      Bad - Droids vs clones = Big battles where no one 'real' gets hurt. Hundreds die and I couldn't give a shit. Compare this to ANH where a handful of nearly anonymous pilots die, but we watch them scream in their cockpits. WE CARE as a result.
      Good - Jar Jar dooms the Republic.
      Bad - Pretty much everything on the trade federation planet.
      Bad - The dialogue... AGAIN.

      Basically, the foundations for good movies are there. That's what's so frustrating. We could've had really good movies, but Lucas shovelled shit on top of them in the form of pandering to developmentally disabled two-year-olds and TOYS R US.
  • by hellfire ( 86129 ) <deviladv AT gmail DOT com> on Wednesday May 19, 2004 @04:41PM (#9199196) Homepage
    Whew, the flamage around here is about as bad as that Lava. It's also attacking the wrong thing.

    #1 This is the "British Tabloid, The Sun." Tabloid! Hello, McFly? Are you all really giving that much weight to everything that rag says? Oh, I'm sorry, this is slashdot, my bad.

    #2 The article quotes: The Hollywood source said: "Anakin and Obi-Wan fight on platforms on the lava. They control these like surfboards." Sounds like its poorly described. I read that as "controlled with the feet." This is a Tabloid so getting any more detailed than "like surfboards" will bore their readers. This is just sneak peak bullshit designed to get people reading and worked up.

    #3 If its described badly, don't can the scene until you've seen it. THEN can it. Have the friggin proof right in front of you. Oh, I'm sorry, this is slashdot, my bad.

    #4 Why hasn't anyone complained about the physics of the lava sequence? Now, near the surface, lava is pretty hot and shouldn't be messed with, but you could probably put things on it or hover over it a few feet and not get burnt. But if this is an epic battle, I'm thinking "fires of Mordor" here, deep in the earth or in a volcano. That's friggin HOT. Even if they aren't touching it, the platform should probably melt, or their feet catch fire and/or melt from the sheer heat just above it. Has anyone bothered to analyze this? And, I'm sorry, but if Anakin were to fall into the lava... instant crispy Jedi. None of this horribly scarred nonsense. Who cares if its not "geeky cool" or "artistically cool." Lets can the stupid physics like we used to around here!

    #5 Several other sources of Star Wars history cite that in the epic battle between the two, it was acid, not lava. Not that I think Lucas would actually bother to try to keep the timeline consistent, but hell, that actually sounds more realistic and no less cooler than the lava. Can we go back to this please?

Murphy's Law, that brash proletarian restatement of Godel's Theorem. -- Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"

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