Uwe Boll Returns To Small-Time Terrible Films

SatanicPuppy writes "According to Reuters Uwe Boll, the German director the critics love to hate, will return to low-budget filmmaking now that his latest and biggest production, the $70 million fantasy epic 'In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale,' bombed at the North American box office. The tax shelter loopholes that funded the previous films have been banned in Germany, making further large budget films unlikely."

weird

[nomadic]

In the Name of the King bombed? Even when they appended "A Dungeon Siege tale" to the end of the name? I figured referencing an obscure game that the average moviegoer never heard of would be a surefire marketing strategy.

Re:

[BlueshiftVFX]

it was originally called Dungeon Siege, at least in production, but then before release it was changed to what it is now called.

Next film?

[AltGrendel]

decidedly pulpy title for his next adaptation -- the video game shoot 'em up "Zombie Massacre."

You just know that the dialog in that one is going to be great. MST3K material for sure.

Re:

[j.sanchez1]

You just know that the dialog in that one is going to be great. MST3K material for sure.

That's all his films are. The only way I'd see a Boll film is if I was drunk and could make fun of it while it was playing.

Re:

[quarterbrain]

The only way I'd see a Boll film is if I was drunk and could make fun of it while it was playing.

That's how I watch all movies, sadly Uwe Boll movies don't get any better with intoxication... unless of course you pass out somewhere towards the beginning.

hallelujah

[circletimessquare]

praise the lord

blessed be legislators of german tax shelters

Re:

[ShadowsHawk]

Amen!

Since wishes are being granted, I'd like to see Jack Thompson smited.

verily

[circletimessquare]

if twas in my powers, your prayers would be answered with a powerful smiting

i shall pray with thee:

oh Lord, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, please to be smiting Jack Thompson, who in your eyes has done great devilishness, and makes a mockery of your good work

amen

Re:

[Minwee]

oh Lord, who art in heaven

I think you misspelled Gord [actsofgord.com].

Nooooooo....

[provigilman]

Whose films will I mercilessly mock now??? I guess there's always the faint hope that they'll greenlight Ghost Rider 2...

Re:

[njfuzzy]

I liked Ghost Rider. It knew exactly what kind of movie it was, and didn't take itself too seriously. If it had, it would have been horrible. I'd watch a sequel.

Re:

[Killjoy_NL]

I didn't really like ghost rider, not because the production values, but because in the movie, it was too easy for him. He never was in any "real" danger imho.

Re:Nooooooo....

[Digital Vomit]

Michael Bay's.

Why do they keep giving him movie rights?

[edmicman]

So what if he's been able to bankroll his movies up until now? Who are the crackpots that keep licensing their games to him to make into movies?!? Why on Earth, if you've made a successful video game, would you ever think to license the material to this guy?!? IMDB shows me two more Bloodraynes, Postal, another Alone in the Dark, and Far Cry. Why???

Re:

[aleatory_story]

for the $$$$$$$? it's like selling your soul to the devil for a quick fix of cash. except more embarrassing.

Re:

[Dr_Barnowl]

I presume they see his list of movies, realise that they've never seen any of them even screening locally, or on a video store shelf (or in the bargain bucket), and figure that the very worst that can happen if they take his money is that the film will slide into total obscurity and not affect their reputation in the slightest. The best would be that he got it right just once (by accident?) and a cult hit would propel them into franchise territory.

You'd almost feel sorry for the cast, but you get the feelin

Postal

[StringBlade]

To be fair, Postal looks rather funny [apple.com] and certainly no worse than a number of recent low-brow comedy/parody movies made here in the U.S.

Re:

[residieu]

Why not license it? People know video game movies are bad, so a bad movie isn't going to have a negative effect on the game franchise, and it may actually draw some interest if it is actually somewhat watchable. In the meantime, the game creaters get their movie-check.

Re:Why do they keep giving him movie rights?

[Reziac]

Because when you license or option a game, book, etc. to a film company, you usually get paid cash up front whether the film is ever made or not. It's like free money that falls from heaven.

And considering the short shelf-life of today's games, and the fickleness of the market, it's wise to take the money and run. Given the slow pace of even the cheapest film production, the movie won't come out til after the game's shelf-life is pretty much over anyway, so it certainly won't have a negative impact on sales, and may get you a few straggler-buyers you'd not have otherwise.

All in all, a win-win for the game company, no matter what kark the film proves to be (or even if it never gets shot, as most don't).

Re:

[crossmr]

That's a fairly short sighted view.

And really not that insightful. Yes. Some people might be tempted by quick easy money, okay maybe a lot of people. That isn't exactly news though...

What would be smarter would be to leverage a good movie which gets the average movie goer interested in it, which would result in more game sales, and create a franchise. You always make more money with a franchise than a one-off.

So while short-term greed can explain some of it, it doesn't explain why we're not really seeing so

Re:

[Reziac]

While a long-view franchise sounds good, it's just not how the film industry works. It's not going to wait around for your game to become a successful franchise... and how many games COULD do that in the first place? It's rare even for very successful movies and TV series to manage it!!

Re:

[crossmr]

You misread what I wrote. I didn't say build a game franchise first then launch a movie. I said leverage a good movie in combination with a good game to create more interest in the game and thus create a larger fan base to build a franchise on.

If your game is good you'll get a certain amount of attention, but combine that with a good movie and you'll significantly increase your attention. Which means merchandise and more game sales.
Reinvest that in another quality film and another quality game and you've bu

Re:

[Reziac]

Ah, I didn't realise that's what you meant.

What you suggest has been done -- there were a number of roleplaying games and such in the Star Wars and Star Trek franchises (and probably a few others I'm not aware of).

But it works the other way round, too: what makes a good film doesn't necessarily make a good game. Translating passive viewing to active participation (and v.v.) is hard. Not that it can't be done, but I think you've got to have the sort of film that "makes a universe" for it to work well.

And as

Re:

[crossmr]

Those were movies first, not games. I don't think its ever been done in reverse.

Re:

[Reziac]

So ... which games do you think would lend themselves to a movie and/or general franchise?

Re:

[crossmr]

Well, most real roleplaying games are good fodder. Anything with a good story even if its not all about the game mechanics itself. STALKER has an interesting story behind it. Half-Life 2 is a decently well told story. Just because a movie is based on a game doesn't mean it has to try and include some kind of convoluted game mechanic if it doesn't really translate well to watching it "in real life". Bioshock seems like another good idea. Those are all FPS so we might also toss out something like Alpha Centau

Re:

[Reziac]

I'm not enough of a gamer (certainly not with newer titles) to comment on your examples, but I think you're right that you have to make good choices about both what to keep, AND what to leave out.

The DOOM movie was pretty good as a turn-your-brain-off blast-'em-to-hell, and tho I generally hate camp it did a good job of throwing in every inside joke the DOOM franchise ever produced. But it fell down when it tried to interface the game TOO much with Real Life[tm] by adding weak/implausible character interact

Re:

[crossmr]

A good writer and director can turn a mediocre plot in to something enjoyable. Even a cliche plot (which video games are often prone to) can be shored up with good character development and other well done things to turn it in to a good film. I'm not talking oscar winning, but something people would recommend to their non-gaming friends (with conviction)

Re:

[Reziac]

True -- Burton Armus is a good example. As producer, he consistently makes ANY production the best it can possibly be, no matter how weak the subject material. (He produced the first season of Airwolf... which was the #1 ranked show ever in its tough initial timeslot.)

Re:

[heartless_]

Unfortunately, a lot of game companies need to the money in this day and age of expensive consoles that cost far too much to develop for.

Re:

[LrdDimwit]

Almost all these deals were signed years ago, more or less at the same time. It simply took THAT long for Boll to get them made. I have not heard of any new licenses being given to him for game properties in a long time, and I think enough people would find that newsworthy that we'd know.

There were a number of properties with almost-signed deals -- this was before his reputation had cemented -- but the deal was cancelled at the last second; I believe one of the creators of one of the series that almost g

The difference

[hidannik]

Q: What's the difference between a big-budget Uwe Boll film and a low-budget Uwe Boll film?

A: The budget.

Taxes!

[Archimedean]

Taxes stopped Uwe Boll. Taxes stopped Al Capone. Is there anything taxes can't do? Actually, is there anything that can do my taxes?

Re:

[WilliamSChips]

There are programs that will do your taxes. Most of them have names with "tax" in them.

Re:Taxes!

[DrSkwid]

Crazy Taxi!

Amazing

[alta]

Looking at the comment count on this story, even a slashdot story about him isn't even getting viewers!

damn

[Some_Llama]

Now how will i know which movie based on a game to avoid?

I mean it's good in the sense that he won't be butchering the story lines we love so much with horrible scripts and inane dialog, and game-movies will get better box office returns which will only help to make better funding available for more game-movies, and possibly make games seem more like art than time wasters (which most definitely are)to the average public, but.. um, on the downside... hmm, i guess there is no downside to Ewe not making game

Re:

[Dmala]

Now how will i know which movie based on a game to avoid?

Easy. Just ask yourself, "Is this movie based on a video game?" If the answer is yes, avoid it.

Re:

[Some_Llama]

"Easy. Just ask yourself, "Is this movie based on a video game?" If the answer is yes, avoid it."

I've enjoyed video game movies tho, like the resident evil series, i liked the first two (waiting to see the last one) and the Doom movie was fun, of course they will always deviate some from the actual game series but compared to the horrific butchering of Ewe that recent game movies have been subject to, the Doom and resident evil movies were timeless works of art.

I'd actually like to take him up on his offer

Re:

[Drgnkght]

I've enjoyed video game movies tho, like the resident evil series, i liked the first two (waiting to see the last one)

The first two were good. The third one... not so much. I was rather disappointed with the third one. It seemed somehow incongruous with the rest of the movies. It was also somewhat light on plot compared to the previous two. (Which, if you think about it, is a pretty harsh criticism.)

Re:

[Some_Llama]

hmm, yah, i try to avoid trailers as nowadays they tend to show you so much what's the point of watching the movie, i know the plot, characters, best parts and the ending, so i was mainly interested because of the first two, maybe i'll pass and rent saw4 instead( can';t get enough of jigsaw). Thanks for the heads up.

Law of unintended effects

[ericferris]

The whole Uwe Boll saga is a sad illustration of the Law of Unintended Effects. The German lawmakers, aware that the high German taxes were hampering the media industry, wanted to give a break to some noisy lobbyist. Cut taxes? Naah, that'd be against the prevalent Big All-Encompassing State mindset.

So instead, lawmakers concocted a bug-ridden, horribly deficient tax shelter law with untested, badly designed rules -- the legal equivalent of Windows ME.

When accountants started to exploit the loopholes, it to

Is it bad...

[Badgam]

...that I haven't even heard of 'In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale'? It sounds kind of like a supplement for a d20 system book or something.

This actually gives me an idea...

[electricbern]

how about making a game where you are Uwe Boll and you have to make terrible movies about games.
It could be a MMORPG (since they are all the hype now) where you get a quest, kill a few hundred of scripts, find a game, steal the funding from some old lady orc and then you join all the ingredients in a smithy thing to create the movie. The worst the movie the more XP you get.
Could be UwerQuest or something.
Then I can already picture Uwe making a movie out of this game with some fantastic title like The Creation of a Dynasty: a UwerQuest.

Bah, better get back to working.