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Pentagon Document Lays Out Battle Plan Against Zombies 131

mpicpp sends this news from CNN: "Never fear the night of the living dead — the Pentagon has got you covered. From responses to natural disasters to a catastrophic attack on the homeland, the U.S. military has a plan of action ready to go if either incident occurs. It has also devised an elaborate plan should a zombie apocalypse befall the country, according to a Defense Department document obtained by CNN. In an unclassified document titled 'CONOP 8888,' officials from U.S. Strategic Command used the specter of a planet-wide attack by the walking dead as a training template for how to plan for real-life, large-scale operations, emergencies and catastrophes."
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Pentagon Document Lays Out Battle Plan Against Zombies

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  • by Mr D from 63 ( 3395377 ) on Saturday May 17, 2014 @08:38AM (#47024741)
    From the document, it says for this training excersize, "we elected to use a completely impossible scenarios that could never be mistaken as a 'real plan'.
    • by Livius ( 318358 )

      The Zombie apocalypse, although implausible, is so viscerally terrifying because it is only an exaggeration of realistic threats. A super-virulent form of rabies is theoretically possible.

      I suspect the sensationalism is probably getting in the way of the exercise being a truly productive use of time and resources, but if they're ready for a Zombie apocalypse, it stands to reason that they're ready for more realistic variations on the theme.

      • by bitt3n ( 941736 )

        if they're ready for a Zombie apocalypse, it stands to reason that they're ready for more realistic variations on the theme.

        Sure we may be ready for a zombie apocalypse, but are we prepared for the poor plotting, derivative story-line, cheap jump-scares, wooden acting, gratuitous sex scenes, and corny self-referential jokes of the inevitable sequel?

      • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward

        This, a zombie apocalypse is a very possible threat given the right mutations.

        But more to the point, a zombie apocalypse is a great way to prepare for literally the worst kind of scenarios in regards to societal collapse, one that is virulent and deadly.
        Dealing with a zombie apocalypse helps you identify infection vectors (biological attacks), physical violence (general chaos), secure installations (brute force attack) and many others.
        It really is a good way to round up very real scenarios in to one heading

  • So that's where that last 375 million went! Maybe I should just give the gubmint 100% of my earned income as tax. Wizards of frugality. Because puppies.
  • For those not reading the article, this is not a serious defense plan. The document is for training, zombies could be replaced with another scenerio and the students would still have to think there way through the same logic and set of problems. The zombie spin is a matter of cultural relevancy and thinking out of the box for a scenario.

    "The document is identified as a training tool used in an in-house training exercise where students learn about the basic concepts of military plans and order development th

  • Seems like the only purpose of this article on CNN was to generate page views by people who were fooled by the headline and summary into believing that it actually was meant to be in preparation for a zombie attack. It seems to have worked really well. The purpose of it on /. I don't understand.

    • That plan is for use should Satan rise from Hell. Though I hear that for some inexplicable reason the plan involves Saddam Hussein and a vulgarity-spewing 8 year old.

  • Survivalists (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Dereck1701 ( 1922824 ) on Saturday May 17, 2014 @10:52AM (#47025301)

    I hang around in survivalists circles a little bit and there's a little bit of a saying there "If you can survive a zombie apocalypse you can survive almost anything" The idea of walking undead creatures with a taste for human flesh is very unlikely (not impossible, but unlikely), but the skills & tools for surviving one will prepare you for a variety of situations (natural disaster, civil unrest, economic collapse, etc). The idea of the military preparing for mass numbers of "zombies" (civilians) rising up and assaulting them is not very settling. There are not many situations in which this kind of training would be necessary except for a civilian uprising, save for some of the aspects of dealing with an defending from assault with limited resources, a breakdown of communications & no backup.

    • I hang around in survivalists circles a little bit and there's a little bit of a saying there "If you can survive a zombie apocalypse you can survive almost anything".

      Can we have a disturbing mod please?. I don't know if it's up, down or by how much but DAMN I need it here.

    • Last couple years forced me to rethink a few things. I live in the suburbs of a moderate sized city, but have several hundred acres of farmland a couple hundred miles south with a place to stay, well water, septic system, small wind turbine, solar cells, and 100 acres of woods with a wood burning furnace + stove. Have the wind turbine and solar cells because I'm only down there about 1 month a year to look over the farming operations (we rent it out). So we sell most the electricity we generate back to t

      • by Alomex ( 148003 )

        If civilization collapses a few rounds of ammo won't do you any good. Furthermore going alone is the worst plan ever. Band of marauders desperate for food would eventually over run you in no time. The closest thing we have for a guide was the medieval period in which fortified city states were created. Kind of like in Mad Max but each settlement would be substantially larger, in order to assemble a substantive defense force.

        • by chihowa ( 366380 ) *

          Bands of marauders would have to find an isolated place in order to overrun it (the solar panels are probably fine, but the wind turbine and wood stove might attract people from afar). Nobody's going to travel hundreds of miles into the middle of nowhere in the hopes of finding supplies. Most of the rounds he's hoarding can be used for hunting, too.

          In the medieval period, repelling multiple armed attackers required architectural defenses and a similar number of trained fighters. That hasn't really been the

          • by Alomex ( 148003 )

            That hasn't really been the case since the invention of the firearm

            I must have imagined concrete bunkers and pill boxes all over Europe.

            A single person (or a few people) with a bunch of bullets in a reasonably well selected location

            Erh, nowadays we have this thing called artillery. A band of marauders is likely to have availed themselves to at least one piece.

            • by chihowa ( 366380 ) *

              I thought we were talking Mad Max, not a full-blown war. Why would a modern army with artillery be attacking this guy's little farm?

              • by pnutjam ( 523990 )
                hmm, massed frontal assault by a half dozen desperate (not suicidal) guys, or a simple catapult/trebuchet with a modified propane tank.
                Artillary is not difficult.
        • Thousands of rounds of ammunition is a little more than "a few rounds". Its true that you're not going to stop a large, determined band of marauders with a a few firearms. However early on most marauder groups are probably going to be poorly organized rabbles looking for easy prey, they're going to turn and run after they watch a few of their number get softball size chunks blown out of them by 7.62 x 54r. Later on you're probably going to have to form larger communities to protect from the now larger

          • by Alomex ( 148003 )

            This much I agree with. It will buy you a few months. Thereafter you better have a plan B.

      • Just remember that as ammo ages it can fail to fire, or delayed fire of sufficient time to allow you to curiously peek into the barrel to see what's wrong. Point being you'll need to eventually restock your ammo, depending on the level of reliability you require.

        • "ammo ages"

          Rifle ammo can last a LONG TIME assuming it is stored correctly. I shoot surplus ammo through my 7.62 x 51 (308) pretty often that from what I understand is German ammo from the 50s-70s and I've yet to ever run into a dud round.

    • by AK Marc ( 707885 )
      I vote for a nuke strike over Kansas, taking out most of the USA with an EMP, followed by a ground assault by China with troops garrisoned in Mexico or Russia flooding across after the EMP
    • The idea of the military preparing for mass numbers of "zombies" (civilians) rising up and assaulting them is not very settling.

      *sigh* The military is not preparing for any such thing, the tinfoil worn by many survivalists has worn off on you. The military is conducting a _training exercise_, in which commanders and their staff practice taking high level planning/guidance (CONOP 8888 in this case) and transforming it into plans, taskings, and orders.

      There are not many situations in which this ki

  • Just a disguise (Score:4, Interesting)

    by YoungManKlaus ( 2773165 ) on Saturday May 17, 2014 @10:59AM (#47025355)

    that plan actually covers the uprising of large parts of the population against the government.

  • To have any chance, all dead who haven't completely disintegrated would have to zerg rush military bases. That's the only possible way.

    It's like Risk, Japan has to take Hawaii, or not, but it's decided early on.

    An alternate strategy, attack and convert the populace early, would just suffer the same fate even if successful.

    Now, take out ammo plants, that might work if your zergs can out-attrit bullet stores in bases.

  • Some viral contagions could be so bad that you have to kill at a distance, and stay the f away from the body without super spaceship equipment.
    A contagion that runs a high fever and huge agitation could turn a block of your neighborhood into a zombie movie scene.
    Believe it.
    (PS. They are training to get the soldiers use to the idea of killing their own family when they are going through your city block rounding up 'bad people,' like you are likely.)

  • I went to read the plan from the link in TFS. It sent me to a document hosted on scribd.com, which required a facebook login to download. So this means that in order to defend ourselves against a zombie attack, we will have to be assimilated so we can even read the plan.

  • Brainless Walking Dead, that describes most of the politicians running/ruining the country right now.
  • From the Pentagon's document, under Zombie Threat Summary (section 4.6 vii)...

    2. (U) Of note, where normal carniverouse zombie commonly groan the word "brains" semi-comprehensibly, VZ's [vegetarian zombies] can be identified by their aversion to humans, affinity for plants and their tendency to semi-comprehensibly groan the word "grains".

  • by Anonymous Coward

    Zombies have always been a metaphor for the less-intelligent and technologically underequipped races.

    In any sort of US collapse scenario the military will need to exterminate any rioters that threaten the 1% who have been chosen to survive. The military will better armed, more mobile. They will only lack numbers. Should they be surrounded by a pack of "zombies" and their supplies run dry, they face certain doom.

    These scenarios are just a way of training for mass scale slaughter of Americans.

The other line moves faster.