Invaders Demand Flu Shots

An Anonymous Coward writes in with this bit from the Intercontinental Radio News Network describing an ongoing situation near Grovers Mill, New Jersey. What was originally thought to be a large meteor crash near the Wilmuth farm has turned out to be the beginning of a Martian invasion. Local officials have had limited contact with the invaders at this point, but their actions so far have the experts scratching their heads. "I expected to be disintegrated or turned into a pile of goo by their advance weaponry but all they did was ask where they could get cold medicine," says a first responder. Initial reports indicate that the aliens have gathered all the vitamin C and antihistamine tablets from the downtown area and have now surrounded the local hospital in their strange ships and are demanding flu shots. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention spokesman says that the agency theorizes the red Martian dust makes the cold and flu season almost unbearable and hopes that the aliens will leave soon after their treatments. He adds: "While alien invaders are terrifying we can take heart in the fact that our flu shot campaign has performed beyond all expectations this year by reaching Mars. We consider their demands our success."

Try Canada instead

[gmagill]

They'd have better luck there.

*Chuckle*

[Passman]

Ok.

This one is damn good.

Re:

[markhb]

It works better if you know how "The War of the Worlds" ended.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:

[Anonymous Coward]

People complained about the same shit in 2001. It's a ritual. Slashdot posts April Fool's jokes, and whiny, entitled users get a massive stick up their butt. April Fools is not complete without either for me.

Re:

[epyT-R]

Expecting jokes of a more technical nature on a technical site is not entitlement.

Re:

[Applehu Akbar]

More technical nature, hell! I would settle for every joke not being exactly the same formula. Were these generated by a Windows XP freeware utility?

Re:

[desdinova 216]

surely people complained about the now legendary OMG PONIES back in the day.

Re:

[phantomfive]

Yeap. It was painful. A typical comment from the day:

When will it stop? [slashdot.org]April fools day on Slashdot is always painful but this is taking it to a new level.

And of course, the typical response:

My guess is that the pain will stop on April 2nd.

Re:

[phantomfive]

This comment thread is great, too [slashdot.org].

Re:

[epyT-R]

Nah.. an apple hypercard 'app'..

Re:

[rtb61]

Fine, on a more technical nature, War of the Worlds fails in the premise that aliens would be subject to infestation by microbes. Microbes of course survive by being able to not be noticed and reproduce, having evolved to target specific organisms. The reality of course is that aliens would suffer as a result of allergies, being subject to complex molecules they have not evolved to deal with. So dying of hay fever is more realistic than dying from infection.

Re:

[bigtomrodney]

OMG RFC PONIES!!!

Re:

[phantomfive]

Actual quotes from April 1, 2001:

Admittedly, the pranks are a little weak [slashdot.org] (always have been), but it's nothing to get annoyed at.

Come on, people, [slashdot.org] the M&A jokes just don't work. An announcement on a sunday? get real. Besides, the joke is at least a few years old.

/. has been h4X0R3D [slashdot.org]. This is the only thing I can think of that can explain all the crap that was posted today. Yes, we know, it's April 1. We get the point. Haw-haw-haw. At least think of something funny to post.

Re:

[Qzukk]

yeaaaah, no.

Slashdot 2001: Hey guys my boss wants me to sign a all your base are assigned to us [slashdot.org] agreement, what do?

Laugh-a while you can, ...

[rkhalloran]

monkey-boys!! Once they stoke up on antibiotics, we're all DOOOOMED!!

Re:

[BlueMonk]

No, it's more appropriately celebrated than any typical holy holiday. It's a day of humor and jest whose purpose has not been lost. And celebrating it has more real and lasting effect than a typical holiday. What better way to lighten a spirit for a holiday than laughter? Nothing compares.

2 April 2015 00:00:00 UTC

[rodrigoandrade]

Are we there yet?

all the fake stories...

[MitchDev]

...got old and tired long ago....

Re:

[phantomfive]

I don't know, this one was kind of hilarious. Unless you aren't familiar with the original story, then I could see how you would miss the joke.......

Re:

[angel'o'sphere]

No offense mate ... sitenote: besides the /. summary, I did not read further ... but if that is supposed to be a prank on 'War of the Worlds' by Orson Welles, the frankly
i don't find it funny at all but extremely lame, so lame I doubt it is about that story. Similar unlikely is Mars Chronicals.
So, no, I don't get what is funny about it. Neither I do about the other SF influenced 'fake stories' ... but I'm not a star wars fan anyway, cant even remember if episode I-III are actually the first three movies or

Re:

[phantomfive]

No offense taken mate.....I understand you don't have a sense of humor. It's not a problem!

Re:

[angel'o'sphere]

My humor is rather dry :)
But if you consider that 'no sense' of humor I feel complimented!

There's only one way to stop this crap

[ArcadeMan]

Nuke Slashdot from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Note to Dice: Slashdot needs to have NERD pranks, not lame science-fiction references passed as faux news. This is only funny for stupid people in your marketing department. PLEASE STOP.

Re:

[halivar]

No no, this post needs to go in the Weyland-Yutani/LV-426 thread. Much more topical.

Martian invasion ...

[PPH]

... stymied by outbreak of autism.

How about other benefits?

[mi]

Just wait for these inv... undocumented Earthlings to really figure things out. In addition to medicines, they'll also be eligible for schooling, tax "credits" [factcheck.org], food stamps, "Obamacare" [creators.com] and other assistance [thelawdictionary.org]. Some of these hand-outs will be illegal (in the US), but they will happen and no one will be punished for allowing it to happen.

Re: How about other benefits?

[fermion]

And when we get tired of them we can always bring out the Slim Whitman yodeling music

Make it stop

[ArcadeMan]

For crying out loud please make it stop, it's less painful to work than to read Slashdot.

I live near there

[iced_773]

Let me help [google.com].

Slashdot improved?

[zbyg]

What happened to Slashdot? Suddenly the stories are much more interesting and, most importantly, unique. No other news site reports about these important happenings. Also, I do not see any slashvertisements for yet another crappy product/service. Has the management been changed? New editors hired? Anyway, this is great and I really hope that Slashdot can keep this high standard for years to come.

OMG! Ponies!

[SirSpammenot]

http://www.metlin.org/content/... [metlin.org]

THAT was a great April Fool's Day prank. Go pink or go home..

So what about the War of the Worlds Thesis

[tinkerton]

That aliens would be vulnerable to our viruses and diseases?
Maybe our viruses wouldn't be able to interact with them at all. Which way does it go?
The way we have most experience with, a population exposed to and being decimated by a disease from elsewere ?
What about the alternative, a disease not being able to lock on to a population that is too alien? Is that possible?

Re:

[rogoshen1]

i had a cold last week, my dog strangely enough didn't catch it.

odd huh?

Re:

[tinkerton]

At face value your example is stupid because it's a single case , but indeed there is a very valid argument that if one species can be infected by a virus while the other is completely immune , it means that viruses are very much adapted to us as well and that makes it likely that a newcomer is immune rather than vulnerable.

Re:

[MrKaos]

I was wondering the same thing when I saw this. I think it was because it was written in a simpler time for a different audience.

I thought maybe if the 'aliens' were also carbon based in a similar way to us they would be preyed upon by the same biology as we are. After all microscopic stuff doesn't care how big we are or where we're from, just if they can eat us or live in us.

I thought about other life forms maybe, silicon based and if our planet would even be suitable for them so I figured that aliens w

Re:

[tinkerton]

The most embarrassing Invasion ever - do you think they still have assets in space or were they dumb enough to commit everything?

It was probably some kind of private enterprise with more ambition than competence. Martians are mostly harmless really.

Re:

[MrKaos]

It was probably some kind of private enterprise with more ambition than competence. Martians are mostly harmless really.

mostly.

Where's my Pink Ponies?

[advocate_one]

I want my Pink Ponies back... that was original... everything yesterday was so lame I just avoided slashdot for the entire day...

http://www.metlin.org/content/... [metlin.org]