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Pornhub Offers To Buy Vine Because 'Six Seconds Is More Than Enough' (cnet.com) 58

An anonymous reader quotes a report from CNET: Earlier on Thursday Twitter announced it was ending Vine's short run, and the adult site was quick to come to the rescue -- maybe. In a letter from Pornhub VP Corey Price to Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey that was shared with CNET, Price lays out the rationale: "We figure since Twitter has dropped (Vine) and is having significant layoffs, that you and your stakeholders could benefit from a cash infusion from the sale of Vine. Not to mention we would be saving Vine gems like 'Damn Daniel,' 'Awkward Puppets' and many more." Pornhub also promises to "restore Vine to Its NSFW glory," saying that clips "of porn in six seconds is more than enough time for most people to enjoy themselves." Unless pointing out a company's recent hardships in a letter and sharing it with a reporter is the latest Silicon Valley negotiating tactic, it seems pretty clear that the offer is a tongue-in-cheek jab at Twitter and its decision to shutter the video looping platform that has caused so much joy and often humiliation. But who knows, maybe Twitter will be willing to deal with Pornhub.
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Pornhub Offers To Buy Vine Because 'Six Seconds Is More Than Enough'

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  • by gtvr ( 1702650 ) on Friday October 28, 2016 @08:02AM (#53167833)
    Maybe if they can figure out the part that everyone skips ahead to
  • Well, Vine probably didn't make money. But how do sites like Pornhub make money anyway? Just with ads?

    • by nine-times ( 778537 ) <nine.times@gmail.com> on Friday October 28, 2016 @08:34AM (#53167975) Homepage
      I think some of it is subscriptions to their pay services. I don't know if I've ever known someone who admits to subscribing, but then again it's not the sort of thing most people would readily admit to, and it must happen or else they wouldn't offer those services.
    • by Greyfox ( 87712 )
      A lot of them also can charge for subscriptions. They post some free samples that cut off just before the money shot to drive traffic to their site. When you want to smack it to some live goat porn and you want to do it NOW, it's pretty easy to drop that $30 on the Visa card for the specific thing you're looking for.

      And no, 6 seconds really isn't enough, unless they happen to have a LOT of goats. I mean, way more than the usual ones. Like, at least 10-15 goats...

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by mrbester ( 200927 )

        Guy got goat game going good.

      • They post some free samples that cut off just before the money shot [...] 6 seconds really isn't enough, unless they happen to have a LOT of goats.

        They could call the site GoatsECX: Every Clip Extended.

    • $10.99 a moive with only about 6 sec of sex it in

    • "Well, Vine probably didn't make money. But how do sites like Pornhub make money anyway? Just with ads?"

      Congrats, you just figured out the Internets.

    • They record visitor habits, data mine the shit out of it, sell on the results, and market their it expertise. In addition, Mindgeek, who own the pornhub network, also own a number of major porn studios. So ads and visitor habits are likely their products.

  • That would be the worst decision pornhub could make. The first year or so of vine was filled with underage teens posting porn vines. That's something that would likely unravel pornhub once the law starts cracking down on it.

    • "That would be the worst decision pornhub could make. The first year or so of vine was filled with underage teens posting porn vines."

      Duh! That's why they are interested in it. If there's a crackdown, some teens go to jail and not them.

  • but not enough time for me. Come on, you need to make love to yourself....The most amazing part of porn is when you are done, you can completely change subjects and do any task. But seriously, if you can, try to get the real thing. Especially if you have somebody. =)
    • The most amazing part of porn is when you are done, you can completely change subjects and do any task.

      Err...you can do that with a partner too...

      Just get up, throw her a towel for herself and the wet spot and be about your way doing what you feel like...

      Easy-Peasy....

  • If you had watched Apple's Keynote yesterday you would have seen it coming. Twitter are going in a very different direction with video.

    Also, "six seconds is more than enough"? Damn Jack, talk about premature quotes.

  • Coming soon to a website near you.

  • by mitcheli ( 894743 ) on Friday October 28, 2016 @11:18AM (#53168977)
    So at first, I was checking my calendar to see if it was April 1st. ... Nope. Ok, so from a serious perspective, Vine caters to a huge demographic of underaged people with witty and goofy banter. Children as young as 8 or 9 participate on Vine. ... So why exactly do we think it's a good idea for a porn company to take over this online service???
    • by guises ( 2423402 )
      The format (extremely short videos with no substantive content) makes a lot more sense for porn than it does for just about anything else. But yes, it might look bad for a porn company to adopt a service with a large underage audience.

      Even though, let's face it, minors are one the largest consumers of porn, that's not something that a porn company is allowed to publicly acknowledge.
    • They want to own it, not put their content on it. Did you know that Yamaha makes pianos and motorcycles?
  • by kaizendojo ( 956951 ) on Friday October 28, 2016 @11:41AM (#53169153)
    Kevin Nealon “reviewed” some heterosexual porn in a Weekend Update segment:

    Kevin Nealon: I was interested at first... then got more interested... Then very interested... Then very interested... Then very, very interested... Then suddenly... not that interested.

    But then Nealon “reviews” a gay porn movie, All About Jeff, featuring a cassette with a picture of gay porn star Jeff Stryker:

    Kevin Nealon: I was horrified, disgusted... somewhat interested, interested... very interested, then suddenly embarrassed, disgusted with myself, ashamed."

  • Six Seconds Is More Than Enough

    Worst pick-up line - ever.

  • Oh boy, if there's anything the big porn portals can do other than providing porn of course, is to bring some laughs for the most random piece of current news. That and host content that is being banned everywhere else.

8 Catfish = 1 Octo-puss

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