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The Secret, Essential Geography of the Office (wired.com) 101

A workplace has its own informal cardinal directions: elevatorward, kitchenward, bathroomward. It's a map we share. From an essay: I love visiting offices, listening to their hum. Literally: I sometimes went to a giant financial firm where they traded different kinds of securities on different floors, and if it was a big day in bonds the fourth floor would be loud, loud; the fifth floor, though, focused on shorter-term investments, would be almost silent. You could hear the economy. I enjoy the rituals of visiting. First, there is security: How long will I wait? Who will greet me in the lobby, should I ever gain access -- a human whose job is to handle ingress and egress, or is each person expected to greet their own visitors? Will I get a VISITOR sticker, and will the sticker change color in a day, for security purposes? Is the coffee brought to me or may I get it myself? Sometimes you learn that people have had sex in a given office, which is hard to forget. There are cardinal directions -- elevatorward, kitchenward, bathroomward. Favored stalls. Better sinks. Teensy little geographies shared between humans.

I have a friend who worked at the White House, back in calmer times, and he told me about some of his workplace battles. I said to him one of the dumbest things I've ever said in my life: "The White House seems like a really political place to work." I still cringe to think of it. Yet it's a place where power is absolutely explicit and geography means everything. And "place," as Tuan points out, is really a proxy for time. The president might summon anyone any moment of the day, from anywhere in the nation. If you work in one of the rare offices in the West Wing, instead of across the alley at the enormous Executive Office Building, you can be in the Oval Office in a minute. It's purely about time, measured in the count of footsteps between you and power. Everyone knows that. The West Wing offices themselves absolutely suck. The whole place smells weird.

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The Secret, Essential Geography of the Office

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  • by rbrander ( 73222 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @02:10PM (#61066356) Homepage

    I've been laughing at the "we'll never go back to work" articles for months. Come ON, everybody who knows the terms "face time" and "elevator speech" know that the most-prized thing you can get is physical presence with the Boss, that nothing like physical presence is ever half as convincing.

    The West Wing thing, I recall from flipping through a few pages of G. Stephanopoulos autobio in a bookstore after the Clinton administration. When they demoted him from being the actual press secretary giving the daily briefing, they gave him an office right next to the Oval to make him feel less demoted (until he took a hint and left, anyway). He says expressly that the fights over who gets to be how many steps from the Oval are the most vicious in the biz.

    And that's over being 30 seconds away versus one minute. So you can spare me your remote work. It'll be a declaration you have no high career ambitions. Actually coming in to the office every day will be the new wearing-a-suit every day, to signal your desire to rise. (NB: Always pushing the message from above down to the troops, and never pushing messages uphill, is still your defining characteristic to adopt.)

    • by Anachronous Coward ( 6177134 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @02:20PM (#61066382)

      So you can spare me your remote work. It'll be a declaration you have no high career ambitions.

      Everyone knew this already, so take your office and shove it where the fluorescent lights don't shine.

      • and give him a hearty hand shake! Tell 'em old economy Steve sent ya!

        Seriously though, this strikes me as somebody who hasn't done a lot of work in a modern enterprise with more than 100 employees. I do, and I don't get near decision makers and the like. When I do they say a few nice words to make me feel like I'm contributing and then blow me off.

        The way you get ahead in 2020+ is you get a college degree (so you can get past HR filters) and you go to another company, get a bit of experience for you
        • by Pascoea ( 968200 )

          Nobody works their way up from the mail room anymore and hasn't since the early 90s.

          You may move up a position or two within a company, and get a couple extra percent raise to go with it, but you're right on: The only way to make money and actually advance is to move companies.

          • inside a company. First, it's usually a *lot* more work and responsibility for a small pay increase (if any at all). You're suddenly coming in on your days off, often for regular run of the mill meetings. Second, when they layoffs come you're now a prime target, because hey, we can always trim a few "management".

            I've seen companies do this with people who weren't actually middle managers and suddenly find they lost somebody they needed. Good times. But the ax still came down.
    • by PPH ( 736903 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @02:29PM (#61066404)

      the most-prized thing you can get is physical presence with the Boss

      The Chinese have a saying: "The mountains are high, and the emperor is far away."

      Back when I worked for a little aviation company that was on the brink of losing its manufacturing certification due to bad IT practices, our group was tasked with developing a solution. The first thing the wiser heads did was to move us off campus. So management with a vested interest in the legacy process couldn't just drop by and screw with the process. Our product was a success. The FAA loved it. The company kept its certification. And all the bosses whose lives were touched by the change were absolutely livid with rage.

      I've worked on a few other projects where, despite the open office plan, management procured a private office for me. Because I had to get work done, not participate in the office football pool. Competent management knows who is getting work done, whether they are behind a closed door, 20 miles away or three states over. When management started rounding up all the workers and bringing them into one office, layoffs were coming.

      • by phantomfive ( 622387 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @03:21PM (#61066552) Journal

        Competent management

        Is that some kind of rare bird?

        • by PPH ( 736903 )

          Is that some kind of rare bird?

          Very rare. [youtu.be]

        • by tflf ( 4410717 )

          Competent management

          Is that some kind of rare bird?

          No, but, it's usually included in the list of oxymoron examples found in most reputable dictionaries.

        • by dcw3 ( 649211 )

          Competent management

          Is that some kind of rare bird?

          Often as not, it's as rare as competent people in any position. If you're not working for competent management, it's time to find another job.

      • I guess it's kind of political advancement versus competency in role issue. It shouldn't be a contrast but face time with the boss does get people promoted even if they aren't necessarily the top person for the job. They are around when the decision needs to be made, the boss knows them and likes them ... and they win.

        Conversely competent management will let people have and office with a closed door when they need too, or a desk in the middle of the cubicle farm, or work from home whatever is needed for the

        • by PPH ( 736903 )

          I guess it's kind of political advancement versus competency in role issue.

          Sounds like you are working for a company where management positions are rewards for past performance, or brown-nosing. Instead of as positions of responsibility.

          I've worked at a number of places where they had to drag people kicking and screaming into team leader/management roles. I've made more money than many of my supervisors, did work that I liked and didn't have to deal with the herding cats effort that is managing employees.

          • Interchangeable cog issue I think. We need "developer" to be "team lead". I know a "developer" and he's nice and wants the job so ...

            People issues generally are hard. People often don't know whether or not they'll like a role, and the role can change out from under you. You're a team lead of 6 smart independent devs everythings gravy. Then 3 leave and 10 newbie's get hired, now you got 2x the people and it becomes a handholding exercise, and a bunch of stupid mistakes for different reasons start happening.

            • Oh an obvious example of this military. Not sure if still the case but the Canadian army used to have a mandatory promotion date for officers. Say 4yrs for a LT, you are either promoted by then or let go because you are not-promotable. Basically if you aren't good enough to promote you aren't good enough to keep around because you are taking a spot that could be filled by someone else that would be.

    • I've been heavily compartmentalized. I don't get near a serious decision maker anymore. It's been like this for some time. Companies got tired of having employees that couldn't be replaced at the drop of a hat. They broke their tasks down into smaller and smaller chunks. Cheap labor from overseas meant this was doable because instead of a single guy you pay $100k you've got 10 guys making $10k (or less).

      I watched the last of what you're describing fade away in the last 4 years. You might have made it up
      • I've been heavily compartmentalized. I don't get near a serious decision maker anymore.

        Same here and frankly I like it that way. I'm content to watch them compete and screw each other over. Meanwhile I just bank my pay and relax.

        • Which impose lots of process. Well defined roles. The team members do not comment on the requirements etc.

          • their roles are broken down into such small, simple discrete chunks that unless they stop doing their job entirely it'll get done. Modern corps run in an assembly line process so that they can replace workers quickly and easily.
          • Which impose lots of process. Well defined roles. The team members do not comment on the requirements etc.

            In my role I participate in all the Agile/Scrum/Whatever, but from a distance.

            I sort of orbit the group doing what I do but I don't get sucked into discussions about details because I'm not a developer. So I don't have to get all down and dirty with epics and user stories and features. I do a super-minimal amount of it to log my work, but that's it. I don't live or die by Jira metrics.

            For me, Agile/Scrum meetings are like going to the zoo- watch quietly and don't get to close to the animals.

    • "He says expressly that the fights over who gets to be how many steps from the Oval are the most vicious in the biz." - Yes I have no doubt about that. As sad and depressing as that is, I have no doubt that the slimy opportunists that occupy the white house are only concerned about power. The well being of the country, the fate of American citizens as a whole - none of that is important to these people. Thank you for confirming what I have firmly believed for a very long time - our federal government, and t

    • by ceoyoyo ( 59147 )

      So you can spare me your remote work. It'll be a declaration you have no high career ambitions.

      Or you're interested in doing something other than succeeding via sucking up to the boss. That type of person is fairly rare, and they already do whatever they want, so sure, the biggest additional group will be the people who work to live.

    • "And that's over being 30 seconds away versus one minute. So you can spare me your remote work. It'll be a declaration you have no high career ambitions."

      Lol, my ambitions have been more than met, and this kind of desperate, petty grasping for power makes me want to puke. What a bunch of sad-assed LOSERS.

      Feel free to show up and brown-nose your way to Heaven. I'll be the laughing at the cringiness of it all.

      People like you are the reason I avoid offices. Like is better when you're not there.

    • and "elevator speech" know that the most-prized thing you can get is physical presence with the Boss, that nothing like physical presence is ever half as convincing.

      If your abilities and ideas rely on tacts reserved mostly for used car salesmen then I feel sorry for you.

      Me on the other hand, it's been a good 9 years since I worked for someone on the same continent as me. That hasn't stopped an endless string of promotions, project ideas being sanctioned to execute, nor half the company fighting for me to be on their team in the recent organisational reshuffle.

      Maybe you need some ideas that stand on their own and don't need to be promoted exclusively on opportunity for

    • by tflf ( 4410717 )

      And that's over being 30 seconds away versus one minute. So you can spare me your remote work. It'll be a declaration you have no high career ambitions. Actually coming in to the office every day will be the new wearing-a-suit every day, to signal your desire to rise. (NB: Always pushing the message from above down to the troops, and never pushing messages uphill, is still your defining characteristic to adopt.)

      Let us sing the praises of the traditional office, where petty politics run rampant,rumour runs rampant and appearances always matter more than substance. The losers who put in the requisite time and energy to always do high-volume, quality work, will never have the time to devote to playing the promotion game. And promoting them would be a mistake - businesses cannot afford to lose the production.
      How about those with "high career ambitions" get to return to the office? Leave the rest to work remotely in

    • by endus ( 698588 )

      If you work for any kind of global, or even national, company there are essentially people who are remote to you 100% of the time. Are you saying that you can't tell which of those people is any good?

      Also, your company doesn't have any employees who are 100% remote? We're not exactly on the bleeding edge and we have people who are, even in the very very old school aspects of our business. Look to newer employees in more cutting edge areas and there are even more.

      You don't have management or salespeople w

  • Cubed: A Secret History of the Workplace
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F... [amazon.com]

  • by jellomizer ( 103300 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @02:44PM (#61066446)

    With just the office changes, how much the work culture changes... My current employer my whole team had changed, or reorganized the offices about 4 times.

    Even with the same people, just having people sit in a different spot, or different building does a lot.

    Sometimes it goes from a very stressful fast pace environment, to a lax environment where we are just working on what we need to work on. Just because we are out of earshot of the gossip, but also at the same time, things happen in the organization that seem to hit us out of left field because we are out of the loop.

  • I once worked on the FX trading floor of a London back. FX shared the floor with bonds to the left and some kind of commodity traders to the right. Mostly FX traders. The 'real' FX traders, as there were a lot of support staff, had their own smoking lounge and their own catering. No need to go down the the main cafeteria for coffee or lunch.

    One day Germany shifted the Basis rate 30 points and the DM, yes it was a while ago, vs everything else took off. Even the bond traders stood and watched the action

    • Regards to sex in a office, the head of building security for a branch office of a multi-national was recorded on CCTV bonking his secretary in one of the lifts.

      How did that end up?

      • I cannot imagine it ended well. I don't really care about consensual sex between adults (although between a boss and secretary I'd be concerned about sexual harassment taking place), but I'd certainly fire a head of building security who wasn't able to either avoid or delete the CC footage. That just shows incompetence.

  • because I know they folks at the top (who own a ton of office space and who want us buying shitty fast food on our 2 hour commutes because there's no time to make breakfast are trying to get everybody back into the office.

    10 years ago I would have wanted to be in the office because I wanted to network. But everything has been broken down into discreate tasks (despite my best efforts) so that there isn't any cross pollination between departments to speak of. You can jump ship to another dept (if your bos
    • But everything has been broken down into discrete tasks (despite my best efforts) so that there isn't any cross pollination between departments to speak of.

      That's really frustrating, I have that problem, too.

    • I mentioned this elsewhere, but the way you get ahead now is by bouncing from one company to the next, taking any skills or industry knowledge with you. That process started about 15 years ago and it was fully developed long before COVID hit.

      Pay attention, young'ns, because this is the Truth. A few years at one place is plenty (unless you happen to love it).

      The fact is that you will NEVER get a yearly salary bump that even approaches the bump that occurs when you change jobs.

  • The president might summon anyone any moment of the day, from anywhere in the nation.

    The President can also extinguish a large fraction of the human race by pushing a button. So, yeah, I suppose that might appeal to somebody who enjoys power.

  • The geography of the what?
  • by Pascoea ( 968200 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @03:30PM (#61066596)
    Whoever thought of the "open office" idea concept, and whoever decided to bring it into the tech world should be drawn and quartered. Who the hell would think it's a good idea to take a profession that typically needs absolute concentration and throw them in the most distracting office environment imaginable? I miss seeing my co-workers, I don't miss being interrupted every 15 minutes by some wank bounding down the walkway.
    • by cruff ( 171569 )
      I had to stop using my sit/stand unit for exactly this reason. Too distracting to see people walking past the aisle next to me cube all day.
    • The idea was hatched from the mind of some faceless bean counting drone. Management sees open offices as beneficial in the following ways:

      1) It saves money because those partition walls are probably kind of expensive
      2) It saves money because, without the partition walls, you can stuff more people into the same floorspace as before
      3) It allows management to keep an eye on you. It gives them an excuse to stroll the aisle. When they stop to chat with you, rest assured it is not because they care about your wif

      • by Pascoea ( 968200 )
        I think for creative types, or others that don't require "heads down" concentration work they are fine, and in some cases can be advantageous. If you're doing the type of work that need collaboration spaces, frequent face to face interactions, etc. then they are great. Assuming your username is accurate, you and I do similar work, and what we do is absolutely NOT any of those. If you're going to stick me in a cube farm, the partition walls better be as tall as I am, ideally with a door facing away from t
      • Nah. It's all #2.

        1) Versus an engineer's salary, the cost of those cube walls is trivial. Depending on the level of the engineer and how fancy a cube you buy; a productivity boost of 2% all the way down to .5% from cutting down noise and distractions; and you've made up for the cost of the cube in less than a year.

        3) Management doesn't need to keep an eye on me because first off, I'm not a fuckup. Second, my git commit history and the code I review and the issues I resolve demonstrate my productivity more

        • Yeah, it's mostly #2. I was just shooting from the hip :-)

          BTW, management doesn't need to keep an eye on me either. My boss trusts me to get stuff done and stays out of my way and lets me do my work. Not everyone is as lucky to have a boss like that.

          Where I work only VP and above get an office. And they are usually empty because they are in meetings or visiting someone offsite.

          Abomination indeed. Hardly anyone I have spoken to actually likes the open office thing. I hope I'll never see another one again.

          • by jbengt ( 874751 )
            I've always worked in an open office, and two of the three companies I've worked for didn't even have cubicles. But usually I've worked in very small companies, the largest had about 90 people at it's peak. There were some times when my neighbor was a too chatty, especially one part-time woman, but in general I've found it to be just fine for getting work done 90% of the time.
            Also, as an engineer in the construction industry, almost every office project I've worked on was largely open offices. (The exce
            • Yeah, I dunno...I've heard all those "culture" justifications in the past but for me I don't need to be sitting 6 feet away from someone to form a good working relationship with them. Culture is something that develops over time and I earn the trust of my workmates not by how many times we hang out after work but by my work ethic and honesty.

              Having said that, I only speak for me and my personal work preferences. If it works for you that's cool but given the choice I'll be building culture from my home offic

      • No fucking way I'm giving up my home office to go back to the open office farm.

        Damn straight.

        My last several positions have been remote and I am *done* with going into the office.

        • Me too and if that means I miss out on the next promotion as a result of working remotely so be it. I'm happy doing what I'm doing and doing it where I like to do it.

          • The only promotion I'm interested in is my promotion to the exalted rank of "Retired". But in the meantime I have corporate wallets to plunder, arrrr matey!

      • 2) It saves money because, without the partition walls, you can stuff more people into the same floorspace as before.

        Occupancy fire codes, number of exits, and bathrooms don't all go away with the walls. No, its the power trip, I always try to look annoyed when a boss is nearby. Happy slaves need more work to do, I've seen this many times.

    • Whoever thought of the "open office" idea concept... should be drawn and quartered

      It was either Frank Lloyd Wright, or the client John Larkin of the Larkin Soap Company.

    • Whoever thought of the "open office" idea concept, and whoever decided to bring it into the tech world should be drawn and quartered. Who the hell would think it's a good idea to take a profession that typically needs absolute concentration and throw them in the most distracting office environment imaginable?

      Yup. So I know some managers who swear by it. They're not the best, nor the brightest. They will proclaim swivel chair meetings and reducing barriers to collaboration, but a few have admitted it is also because it is easier to keep tabs on you.

      The open office concept means the manager can stand in a corner and see everything you're working on. He/she can quickly get status just by walking from desk to desk. He/she can see how long you've been working on something and confirm you're actually working

  • you can be in the Oval Office in a minute. It's purely about time, measured in the count of footsteps between you and power. Everyone knows that.

    Nothing roller skates can't solve.

  • by klipclop ( 6724090 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @04:44PM (#61066762)
    I picture this guy being named Bob and walking around the office with his coffee mug handing out TPS reports.
  • by JustAnotherOldGuy ( 4145623 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @05:37PM (#61066806) Journal

    "I enjoy the rituals of visiting. First, there is security: How long will I wait? Who will greet me in the lobby, should I ever gain access -- a human whose job is to handle ingress and egress, or is each person expected to greet their own visitors? Will I get a VISITOR sticker, and will the sticker change color in a day, for security purposes? Is the coffee brought to me or may I get it myself?"

    Wow, this may be one of the unintentionally saddest things I've read in a while, but who am I to judge?

    I mean, hey, if you like offices, have at it. Knock yer socks off, baby. You do you.

    • by reloc ( 6869930 )
      Now I understand why some guys in the office are a-holes , with the coffee and visitor sticker as most exciting things in their lives... I always thought thats just my negative imagination , but hey here is the proof.
      • by N1AK ( 864906 )
        Your calling someone you don't know an asshole because they find how work places organise and their processes interesting; I know which of those looks more like the behaviour of an asshole to me...
        • by reloc ( 6869930 )
          I know the guys Im talking about. And you're calling someone on Internet ,yes thats big. Read with understanding next time please.
        • Your calling someone you don't know an asshole

          1) This may shock you, but you don't always have to know someone to know they're an asshole.

          2) I'm also 100% sure that at some time you've made the exact same snap judgement about people that you don't know. Yes, 100% sure.

  • by 93 Escort Wagon ( 326346 ) on Monday February 15, 2021 @06:21PM (#61066920)

    It appears the middle-managers are realizing they're about to be exposed for the useless tools they are, and are trying to fight back.

  • A few years ago someone gave me a subscription to Wired as a gift. It's a truly odd magazine. I never did figure out what the magazine was supposed to be about. It's not about IT, programming, computer science, technology, or making really. It seems to be some kind of hipster lifestyle fluff. This article is a prime example. What is its point? Why did someone submit it to slashdot? Inquiring minds want to know. I guess it promotes entertaining conversation about how our lives used to be before the pan

  • Really, posting observations about naval lint?
  • How does this relate to tech?

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